


out of sight, out of time

by Pandacakescowgirl242



Category: Grantchester (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-04 22:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 119,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6676984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandacakescowgirl242/pseuds/Pandacakescowgirl242
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is set shortly after the hanging of Gary. Sidney disappears- trying to get away from everything and his emotions. when Sidney is found by a stranger, a couple of months later, with a serious head injury and numerous cuts and bruises. he is returned shortly to mrs  Maguire and everyone else at the vicarage, including Geordie, however - he can`t answer their questions about what happened because - he can`t remember. he cant remember anything that happened- how he got injured or anything. they try and retrace the steps he took but with a girl missing its hard trying to keep focused on anything when he knows he cant remember what happened to himself. will they ever find out what happened to the vicar of grantchester or will it remain a mystery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first grantchester fanfiction. I have written a few on other sites but on a different TV show. I'm starting this story now but I'm sorry if I don't always update regularly. I'm in my last year (year 11) and my exams and just round the corner. (literally) this story was inspired by a series of books I`ve been reading. (yes actual books :D) sorry if the first chapter is a bit rubbish, it will get better I promise!  
> ENJOY!

His senses came to him first, or maybe it was the bright light above his head. he didn't have a clue which and he hurt too much to care. all he knew was he was laying on something extremely soft. how he got there he didn't know that either. he tried to move his arms and pain shot through him, he thought he was going to explode. he tried to cry out but a soft moan escaped his lips and he felt a gentle hand touch his forehead. 

"where am I?" he muttered. his voice sounded strange even to his own ears. it was too hoarse. a shadow moved across him and he willed his eyes to open, to see who was standing near him. the same gentle hand from before touched his forehead again. "don't you worry about that now. just rest" 

a woman's voice. no one he knew. whoever It was they had a slight accent. nothing he recognised. he willed his brain to allow his eyes to open and finally they obeyed. the bright sunlight streaming through the curtain caused his head to spin and nausea gripped his stomach. "ugh" he moaned and tried to raise his arm up to cover his eyes but they were like led laying beside him. one was laying across him, wrapped in something soft. they hurt to much. every part of him hurt. 

"oh I'm so sorry. I`ll close that for you" 

he could hear feet padding across the floor and then the sound of the curtains being drawn to a close. 

"is that better?" 

he risked opening his eyes again slowly and the world seemed in a blur. a blurry shape entered his vision. finally it crystalized into a girl. No. a woman. she had strawberry blonde hair that fell to his waist and her green eyes seem to pierce his own. all he managed was a small little grunt to her question. 

"so you speak English then?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

he nodded but then regretted it when pain filled his head and he cried out. damn that hurt. she touched his hand. he reached up a hand and found an egg sized lump on the side of his forehead. "what happened?" 

"i don't know. you haven't been conscious enough to say" 

he brought his hand down from his head. then did he notice the different coloured bruises that went down his arm. then did he realise he wasn't wearing a shirt. 

"we had to check you over" the woman said, hurriedly trying to explain. "you were covered in quite a lot of blood. you have quite the lump on your head. we found you a little further up. covered in cuts, gashes, your arm is broken too by the way and your head was a mess" 

"oh" was all he managed. "why did you ask if I spoke English?" 

"because when we found you, you were mumbling in what sounded like a foreign language, maybe Romanian or polish. I couldn't tell. " 

odd. he didn't speak another language. "i don't understand" 

"understand what?" 

"i don't speak another language" he admitted. 

"well that's what it sounded like. it definitely wasn't English" she replied. 

"what`s your name?" he asked suddenly. "how long have I been here?" 

"my name is Cora. Cora Philips." she replied. she moved to sit on the bed. 

"is this some sort of hospital?" 

she shook his head. "No. this is Jasmine cottage. my home. I live here with my friend. felicity but she's out buying supplies" 

"how long have I been here?" he asked again, his voice felt like sand paper and it hurt. 

"oh about .... 7 days" 

7 days. he had been here. wherever here was. he had to get back. he had been gone long enough. he sat up, noticing the multi coloured bruises going down his torso and down to his waist too. he pulled the sheet up slightly, thankful he was actually wearing trousers. " I need to go" 

cora jumped of the bed in alarm. "you can`t go anywhere. you`re still hurt. you need care!" 

" I have to go. I need to get back" he stood up and immediately swayed. " I need to get back" 

"you cant leave" 

he turned to face her. "I'm grateful for all you`ve done but I need to go." he replied. "you don't understand" 

she stood up straighter, chin held higher. "yes I do. you`re a vicar. you were distressed over a friend being hung." 

his arms drooped. "please?" he begged. "i need to go. I haven't a clue where I am. I need to get back home" he replied. he was nervous. he didn't know where he was. his arm was indeed bandaged across his chest and it hurt. he just needed to get back. pretend that the last 7 days (whatever had happened in those days anyway) hadn't happened. 

she held up her hands and stepped forward. he instinctively stepped back into the corner. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to find out what happened to you. I can call someone for you so they can come get you. please. I don't mean no harm. here" she pulled off a white shirt from the chair next to her. "put this on if it helps" 

he reluctantly reached out and grabbed it before pulling it on and buttoning it up. very difficult when you couldn't use one arm. he looked back up to her. " I need to go." 

she finally nodded. "fine. I`ll help you. but can I least know your name?" 

"its Sidney. Sidney chambers" he replied. he looked up into her eyes for the first time since he woke up and he suddenly felt relaxed. more relaxed that he had earlier. 

" I understand. but at least stay the night. you`re hurt and need rest" 

" I need to get back to my church. to my life" get his life back on track more like but he didn't say that out loud. "could you direct me to the nearest train station please?" 

she nodded. "where do you need to go?" 

"grantchester" 

she frowned. "isn't that in Cambridge?" 

he nodded. "why?" 

"well vicar. you`re a long way from home" 

it was his turn to frown. "what- what do you mean?" 

"Mr chambers. you`re in Bristol" 

he felt the room had sucked up all the air and was suffocating them. Bristol was over four hours away. how did he get here? why was he here? the room started to spin and he started to fall. Cora was at his side immediately. holding him up and bringing him back to bed. she pushed him down. "you need to rest. you shouldn't be moving. that lump on your head was giving us both something to worry about. it was really serious... you have no idea" 

he realised she had been scared. scared she was going to lose him yet she didn't even know him. it touched his heart and he felt stupid when tears welled up in his eyes. he had to get back to mrs maguires annoying ways of care she had for him. he had to get back. "i have to get back" 

October. he had left in October. "cora? what month are we in?" 

"January" she replied. "its January the 19th." 

 

he felt like he was going to be sick. three months. three whole months he had been missing. "i think I'm going to be sick" 

she quickly led him away into the bathroom where he violently threw up. there wasn't anything in his stomach however he still kept being sick, all the acid that was eating away inside of him. he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on everything he had taken in in the last while he had been awake. the thought of it being January.. a whole fresh year since he was in grantchester made his stomach kick and he threw up again. cora left to give him some privacy, which was a good thing he guessed, he quickly undid the the shirt again (as quickly as he could with one arm bandaged) and threw it across from him. he wiped his hand across his mouth and stood up, gripping onto the sink to support him. he looked up in the mirror and the reflection that looked back at him didn't even look recognisable to him. his face was extremely pale but that wasn't the thing that bothered him the most. his normal light brown, blonde hair was a jet black like the sky. it was cut a little shorter then he normally had it and he stared and stared at the image of himself he no longer knew. his back and ribs were covered in bruises and his ribs and shoulder blades were sticking out. it was like staring at a stranger. he didn't even recognise himself. the egg sized lump on his forehead was an ugly shade of yellow, blue and purple. he briefly touched it again and it was enough to bring back the nausea, once again he leaned over and was violently sick again, a few tears escaped his eyes but he brushed them away with his thumb. he knew one thing for sure. something had happened to him, something bad, when he had fled and he didn't even know what that was. 


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney finally takes himself away from Bristol and travels down back to grantchester, anxious about what everyone at the vicarage will say when he returns....

"I`ll come with you, make sure you`re okay" 

Sidney shook his head. "that's unnecessary Cora. I can go by myself" he was finishing up getting ready to go home. his clothes that he had been wearing before were completely ruined. everything was shredded and covered in blood. (Mrs M was going to love that) he obviously had gone through something horrible. he shuddered at the thought, but at least it would have been better to have known what he had gone through then to not know. Cora had leant him some clothes that used to be her brothers before he moved out. they hung on him like sags but it was better then nothing. the blue shirts sleeves he had had to roll up a few times. if he had had to put these on before all of this had happened they would probably have fitted. 

"i just want to make sure you are okay" she had replied. she had grown to care for him and cared about his journey home. she was concerned for him. over the last week while he had healed enough and the egg sized lump on his head and gone down a little she had grown to know him quite well. she was going to miss him. 

"I`ll be fine Cora" he took her hands in his. "trust me" 

she touched his chin. "i worry about you. please let me come with you. at least half the way?" 

he sighed. "but then you will have to make the route back all over again. it will be a wasted journey" 

she shook her head. "no it wont. I`ll be able to make sure you`re okay" 

"okay" he agreed. he turned back to the mirror to comb his unruly hair and he felt the familiar twinge of guilt. guilt that he couldn't remember what happened to him. he stared at his reflection still feeling the same. his now jet black hair was starting to fuzz up a little and was now the same length that he normally had it but why did he ( or should he say the other him) dye it for? he was getting used to it but everyone back at grantchester was in for a shock. he turned back and sighed. "shall we get going?" 

she nodded and took her coat of the peg behind her and together they headed out into the chilly air of January. silence filled the space between them until she turned to him. "why do your eyes fog up with haunting every time you look at yourself in the mirror?" 

at first he didn't say anything and then he sighed. "because I don't know who I am anymore. the hair colour, the clothes, everything about me is different to who I remember. I don't feel like me anymore" 

"black isn't your normal hair then?" 

"no" 

"oh. I quite like it. it suits you" 

his cheeks blushed over red and he hid his face from her. he decided to change the subject. "when you found me- what was I wearing?" 

she thought for a moment. "normal clothes you vicars wear. except you didn't have that black jacket. you looked like you were going to freeze to death out there" 

well at least that was some comfort he thought. knowing that when she found him he was at least wearing something that was familiar. nothing these days ever seem to be familiar to him anymore. it was like being In a foreign country, except he didn't even know himself anymore. 

she touched his hand. "you were miles away just then. are you okay?" 

he nodded. "sorry, was deep in thought" 

they entered the train station with a few minutes to spare so she went off to buy them some lunch for the train journey. he stood there thinking over what people back home were going to say when he got back. were they still looking for him? or had they stopped? did they think he was gone forever or maybe worse? what did Geordie think? they hadn't exactly parted on good terms to last time he had saw him. that was over three months ago... 

"you`re miles away again. look are you sure you`re okay?" 

he nodded. "I'm fine. I promise" 

they could hear in the distance the sound of the train. "how many trains do we get again?" 

"two" Cora replied. "we change half way" 

the train rumbled in and stopped. they climbed on and chose a compartment that they could have just them two. he didn't want to see anyone he knew just yet. he wanted to see everyone at the vicarage first. that way they would find out he was back from himself and not someone else. he leaned his head against the window and watched the blur of the scenery go past at the speed the train was going. his thoughts returned to Cora sitting across from him, her eyes studying him. somehow his cheeks crimsoned up and he turned his attention back to the scenery outside. unfortunately they had gone through a tunnel now so all he was staring at was his own reflection. he turned his attention back to Cora. 

"so, you`ve heard quite a lot about me lets talk about you" he said, startling her. she didn't think he was going to say anything. she licked her lips and thought for a moment. 

"alright. though you wont find it interesting. my life's boring" she replied. 

"don't you have any children or a husband to get back too?" he asked before he could stop himself. "sorry" he quickly added. "i shouldn't have asked that" 

she laughed. "its alright silly. I've asked you lots of personal questions over the week" 

"but you had reason too" 

"nonsense. anyway no I haven't any children." she sighed." I've always dreamed of the moment when I have children who will be half of me and half the person I love but so far its never happened. I hope it will someday" 

"everything can happen when you set your mind on it." he replied. 

"what about you? any sweethearts at home?" she asked straightening out her skirt. 

he sighed. this was awkward. "well there was a girl I liked- quite a lot but she- got married to someone else" 

"oh. I'm sorry" she replied, her voice full of sympathy. 

he cleared his throat. "its okay though." 

she nodded but didn't quite believe him. he had turned his attention back to the window now so she picked up her book and kept reading, occasionally slipping a glance towards him over the rim of her book but he never tried to start a conversation again. finally after two hours the train slowly pulled into London. they both stood up and exited the train stepping onto the crowded platform. 

"where do we go now?" he asked. 

"we have to cross over to the other side for a train going to Cambridge" she replied, grabbing his hand and leading him to the other platform. he was conscious of her grip round his hand and he wanted the moment to stay. somehow his rescuer was having a strange effect on him but he wasn't going to give into it. she deserved someone better then him. 

she too also was conscious of the feel of his hand in his. she tried to tell herself that once he was gone she was going to stop having these desires for him but she knew deep down that wasn't going to happen. he deserved better then her. 

"we made it in perfect time" she exclaimed. "the train isn't due for another five minutes" she turned to him. "are you sure you don't want me to travel with you to Cambridge? I can help explain anything you need to explain to people there at the vicarage" 

he shook his head. "I`ll be fine. I promise" he paused for a second then opened his mouth again. "we can stay in touch right?" 

she smiled. "sure. I`d love that." 

they heard a train approaching. "your trains early" she pointed out. she turned back to face him. "i guess this is it. it was nice knowing you Sidney." 

"you too. thanks for everything" he smiled. 

"if you ever need me or want to chat or if you remember anything about what happened to you. call me" she quickly scribbled her number down on a piece of paper and pressed it into his hand just as the train pulled in. he nodded and clenched his hand with the piece of paper in it so he didn't lose it. "i will" he replied. he pulled open the door of one of the carriages and stepped on. she touched his arm. "be safe Sidney" she kissed his cheek and let his arm go. she shut the door behind him and he turned round. "thank you for everything you`ve done Cora. I`ll definitely call you" 

she smiled and waved as the train started to move. he leaned out and waved back to her and continued too until the train turned the corner. he sighed and headed into a compartment and sunk down into the seat. he got tired easily since what happened. he was still recovering. he could still feel the warmth of her lips on his cheeks and he briefly pressed his finger against it. his face grew warm and he pulled the shirt sleeves up his elbows. it was cold outside but warm inside. maybe that was partly because he was thinking about Cora. he crossed his arms across himself, then did he notice faded cuts on his arms. he brought his lower arm closer to his eyes to have a closer look. sure enough, on the lower part of his left arm, the word `lair` was scarred into his arm. his heart started to pound. what was that? what did it mean? who did it? was it whoever had had him? he sighed and pulled his sleeves down. no way could he have that showing. it was true, he was ashamed at what had happened to him. he was ashamed that he couldn't remember and knew that once he got back home the others were going to be deeply ashamed with him. he closed his eyes. a knot of anxiety was growing in his stomach. he was anxious about what the others were going to say when he got back home. he tried to make the train journey as long as he could but finally the train pulled into the dreaded station and he got off. 

now for the next train into grantchester. this train journey was only 20 minutes long and he was dreading getting on. but he had to face it eventually and got on. only to find it all to soon pulling into the station in grantchester. now the knot of anxiety was full in the pit of his stomach and he was finding it hard to concentrate on anything else but how Mrs Maguire was going to react. he spent as long as he could walking up to the vicarage. keeping his head down so no one recognised him. he didn't want to explain just yet what had happened. he wanted to get the storm out of the way which he knew was coming all too soon. 

soon the walk seemed to become familiar to him and the knot of anxiety started to lesson. maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. maybe, jus maybe everything was going to be fine. no shouting. no nothing. everything was going to be fine. 

finally he was standing outside the vicarage. behind a hedge so they couldn't see him through the window. he knew what Mrs M was like. the knot of anxiety was back and had grown twice the size. he now wished he had allowed Cora to come up with him. she could have explained everything to them, all that she knew. 

no, he couldn't chicken out. he took a deep breath and walked up the familiar path to the familiar door. his hand shook as he reached up to knock. he knocked and waited for the door to open, his heart pounding. yells came from inside the house from Mrs Maguire and then a shout back, sounded like Lenard. feet padded towards the door and then he heard the door click and the door swung open. "if its more of you little pests , coming to muck around then I suggest you go -" Mrs Maguire suddenly stopped as she saw who was in front of her and she gasped softly. her eyes seemed to bug out of her head as her hand covered her mouth. 

"hi" he said. 


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are a little tense at the vicarage of grantchester and its even worse when Geordie comes in whos been thinking for a while he will never see his friend again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I`m sorry its a really crappy chapter. It was meant to be interesting but ive had my mind on my art work that needs to be in soon and plus it was my birthday yesterday so I wanted to update quite soon as my birthday treat to you people reading my story.

for a moment it seemed like time stood still or either that she had frozen. she stood gaping up at him and he realised then that everyone had thought they would never see him again. he was starting to feel uncomfortable when suddenly she snapped back to reality and marched towards him. for a moment he thought she was going to give him a hug but she reached her hand up and slapped him- hard. 

"ow! what was that for!?" he cried. 

"for not telling us where you went! we were looking for you for weeks!" she hissed up at him. "its been 3 months! and a whole new year! what were you thinking!? we`ve been worried sick!" she shouted. "have you any idea what you did to us!" she hit him again to prove her point. "you stupid! , stupid - stupid man! and what have you done with your hair!" 

"is everything okay Mrs M?" Lenard asked sensitively, approaching her slowly so he would not aggravate him further. 

"no Mr finch. I'm not." with that she pulled the door open wider and Lenard got a full view of who was at the door. "Sidney?" 

"hi Lenard" he said, regretting ever coming back. 

"let him in Mrs M" Lenard said. 

"what? after he decided to do a disappearing act. no thank you" she turned around and walked back into the house leaving the two vicars stand there. Lenard was looking at the floor, still a little shocked at seeing Sidney after three whole months. he looked back up. "do you want to come in?" 

Sidney shook his head. "she doesn't want to see me" 

"don't worry. just - come in" he turned round and headed back inside. 

Sidney stood there for a few minutes, breathing in deeply. he turned round from the house to face the now setting sun. he never realised it was going to be this hard. and the hardest part was- he couldn't remember where he had been and everyone was moaning at him. 

"aren't you going to come in?" 

he turned back round to find Mrs Maguire standing in the doorway. 

he shook his head slowly. "its fine. you don't want me back. I understand I hurt you all" 

it was her turn to shake her head. "we want you back more then anything but I aint going to deny that you hurt us because you did" 

he understand that, even though he hadn't a clue where he had gone. he knew they were going to interrogate him to know where he had been and he knew they weren't going to believe him when he told them that he couldn't remember. 

"come on in then" she turned her back to him and went in, expecting him to follow. he hesitated before cautiously following her into the house. as soon as he stepped in it felt like he had never left, that he hadn't been missing for over 3 months. he headed into the front room and was about to comment on how the room hasn't changed at all, it was like stepping back in time, when Mrs M gave him a hug. "welcome back" she said in his ear. now that the shock of seeing him again had worn off she was able to realise how much she had missed him and was glad he had returned. she pulled away from him and sat him down, handing him some water. he took it and she sat down next to him. his eyes darted to follow her movement as he knew she was going to start asking questons. he didn't want questions asked. he wanted to just forget what had happened. pretend that he hadn't been missing. 

"so- how are you?" she asked. 

"fine" 

"where did you go?" 

the exact question he had been hoping to avoid. he knew it was too good to be true. he shrugged his shoulders. 

"now now- you can tell me. everyone's been really worried" she replied. "especially Geordie" 

Sidney tried his best not to react too much at that. but it was hard not too. "why? we didn't exactly part on very good terms" 

"i know. I know exactly what happened" she replied. 

"oh." 

"he was guilty. he thought he was the reason you had gone. he blamed himself. " 

he shook his head. "it wasn't his fault. it was mine." damn. now he felt guilty. he shouldn't have gone of like that. but being eaten up with guilt and reawakened memories he had thought the best way was to just disappear. now he realised how wrong he had been. he may have eased his pain but he had caused everyone else`s. suddenly he didn't want to be there. he wanted to be alone. he got up. "i need to go" 

she stood up too. "you just got back! I still want to know where you disappeared too Mr chambers. and why on earth you did that with your hair" 

"you wont believe me if I told you" he sighed heavily. he saw Lenard enter the room. 

"try me" 

"I- I cant remember where I went Mrs M. I don't remember the whole 3 months i`ve been missing" 

she blinked for several minutes and then walked off. "fine. don't tell me then. you of all people shouldn't be lying and keep secrets" 

"I`m not lying!" he shouted after her. "i cant remember the whole 3 months. when I woke up I was at a woman's house called Cora and she was saying she found me badly hurt somewhere, unconscious!" he huffed and sat back down pushing his hand through his black hair. 

she hurried back and stuck her head round the corner. "what did you say?" 

" I said I cant remember what happened to me" 

"after that" 

"becoming deaf now are we?" he said sarcastically but with humour in his voice. it really felt good to be back. even though he was being interrogated. he sighed. "shall I explain everything?" 

"everything. then we can contact the police and tell them you`ve been found" 

this alarmed him. "say what?" 

"when you-" Lenard started. "disappeared Mrs M took it further. we waited 2 days to see if you had just gone off and stayed somewhere over night but even then you still hadn't returned. she got extremely worried and took it to the police. she went to Geordie and told him and it was taken seriously. they were searching for you for ages. but they could not find you at all -"

"it was like you had been taken off this world without so much as a mark. they were asking questions and everything but no one had seen you. " Mrs Maguire interrupted. "they started to give up, half expecting to find you dead. but we never lost hope. The church prayed for you every Sunday" 

"who did the services?" Sidney asked, swallowing the lump that had blocked up in his throat, choking him. 

Mrs M pointed at Lenard. "we have to be thankful that you came home eventually" 

Sidney smiled at that. some things just never change. 

a knock sounded at the door and he stood up but she pushed him back down. "stay there. if its someone who knows you`ve been missing for ages it may give them a shock to see you again" she headed to the door and opened it. 

voices floated through to him and he sat back, suddenly feeling really tired. his head was paining him and he knew that bruise was there but thankful to his fringe for growing it was hidden safely from prying eyes. 

" I cant stay-" 

"just- follow me" 

the door to the room opened again and Mrs M led the detective through. Sidney looked round and saw Geordie standing next to her. he saw who was sitting in the chair and for a moment he thought something was wrong with him. Sidney stood up. "what are you doing here?" 

"should I be saying that about you?" he replied hoarsely. "jeez Sidney. why? why would you do that? 3 whole months everyone's been trying to find you. 3 months. its a whole new year. we all thought we were never going to see you again. why? just why? why!" 

he hung his head suddenly feeling ashamed but so frustrated at the same time. he didn't know why he had left. it was a spur of the moment thing but he wasn't meant to be missing for this long. it wasn't meant to this long. but he couldn't even remember what had happened to him. suddenly he wished he had never come back. it was just causing he too much emotions that he didn't want to feel. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be gone this long -" 

"doesn't matter. you still went. you didn't let anyone know- therefore you were classified as missing. I was helping Mrs Maguire outside of work but because you were my friend I wasn't allowed to take part in the investigation. do you have any idea what we all went through?" 

"listen Geordie I -" he was cut off again. 

"you obviously don't. I blamed myself. I blamed myself for your disappearing act. why would you go Sidney? why?" 

Sidney flinched as the tone of his voice changed, he felt strangely panicky. he just wanted everyone to remain calm. "please let me explain-" 

"i don't want to hear an explanation Sidney" he replied stiffly. "i don't want to hear it" 

"if you`d just listen-" 

"No!" he shouted. 

silence filled the room after that. it was getting thicker and thicker and It was driving Sidney mad. he wanted to say something; anything to make this situation better but he couldn't think of anything. he head was pounding. he was still meant to rest. no stress. that's what Cora had said. he had had a bad head wound. stress could cause problems. 

"i think you should come to the station. they would want to know what happened and where you went." Geordie finally said. 

"Geordie- i honestly didn't mean for any of this happen -" 

"but it did" 

"but i didn't mean too-" 

"but it still did Sidney! " 

"i think you should listen to what he has to say inspector" Mrs Maguire said, turning her to look at him. 

"why should i?" 

"because you might find it interesting" 

he sighed irritably. "fine. what story you going to give me?" 

"Geordie- i cant remember what happened to me at all through the whole 3 months. i cant remember" 

"don't give me that crap Sidney. everyone can remember what they did for three months when they go missing" 

"you don't understand Geordie - i cant remember" Sidney said desperately. "i cant remember at all. please- I'm telling the truth" 

"i`m not buying it" he turned to Mrs Maguire. "bring him in later. I'm sure the police would love to hear his reason for his sudden absence" he turned to go back, feeling all the frustration and mixture of emotions churning inside of him like vomit. 

"wait!" Sidney said taking a step forward. "Geordie!" suddenly dots flew in front of his eyes and a ringing noise filled his ears. before he knew it he felt his legs melt away from under him and blackness took hold of his vision. 


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone at the vicarage questions Sidney more thoroughly and tempers are lost ....

"Sidney? Sidney? you with us?" 

maybe he was dreaming. everything that had happened with Geordie. yes. that's what happened. it was all a dream. he felt a tap to his cheek and tried to remove himself from their grip. 

"Sidney!?" someone cried again. 

a tune of a song filled his ears really loud and he groaned and put his arm over his eyes. "turn it off" 

"turn what off?" 

"the music" he muttered. "its too loud. turn it off" 

"Sidney. look at me. there's not music. look at me" Geordie said. he tapped his face. "look at me" 

Sidney removed his arm away from his eyes and blinked up at Geordie. he could still here music. "cant you hear it?" 

"no Sidney. we cant" Mrs Maguire said. she was sitting on the other side of him. 

the music in his ears suddenly stopped and he laid his head back down on the floor and sighed. "what happened?" 

"one minute you were standing; the next you were falling. luckily for you Geordie had enough time to catch you" Mrs Maguire scolded gently as she stood back up. 

Geordie helped him as he sat up, his head swimming, dizziness caused him to feel sick and he breathed through it. he didn't want to throw up here and now. it wasn't going to be pleasant. he continued to breathe shallowly. 

"are you okay?" Geordie asked. 

Sidney heard the concern edged in his voice. he realised he was scaring them as none of them knew about his head wound. it ached and all he wanted to do was sleep. "I'm fine. stood up too fast" 

"hmm" Geordie didn't sound convinced. "well so long as you`re ok-" he paused for a second as concern flickered across his face again. "what's that?" 

"whats what?" 

"that bruise on your head" he reached out to have a better look but Sidney turned away hurriedly pushing his fringe down. "its nothing" 

Geordie caught his hand and brought it down, reaching out with his other hand to brush his fringe away. Sidney jerked away. "its nothing really" 

Geordie didn't reply but let go of his hand and caught his chin instead holding tight while he reached out and moved his fringe away from his face. 

"i said its nothing!" he said squirming to get away from being man handled and prying eyes. Mrs Maguire had also wondered over to have a look. he sighed irritably through his nose and allowed them both to look. 

"how did you get this?" Geordie asked, inspecting the large yellow, purple bruise the spread over the left side of his forehead. 

"i don't know" he started to squirm again but Geordie tightened his grip. he huffed in response at being held detained. 

"Sidney. this is serious. if you`ve been harmed we need to know." Geordie said seriously, stepping back into the role of inspector keating. 

"i cant remember" he replied. all he wanted to do was sleep. his eyelids felt heavy. 

"stop protecting them Sidney. this is serious" he replied. 

"I'm not" he pushed his hand away from him and pushed his fringe down again to cover the bruise. "I'm not lying. this is what i was trying to tell you. i cant remember" 

"i think you tell me all you remember then" Geordie replied. 

" i agree" Mrs Maguire interrupted.

Sidney grumbled. He had been trying to do that since he got back,but no one listened to him. He stood up, ignoring the sudden pain and achyness in his legs, and sat back in the chair , bent over, his elbows resting on his knees. The other three sat round him, all listening intently to what he had to say.now he had the chance, he didn't know what to say,how to start. How do you tell people you trust that you can't remember.

"Begin anytime" Geordie said. 

Sidney sighed heavily and began the rather short tale,that everyone hoped was much longer. He retold everything that had happened when he had woken up, everything that had been discussed between them and how she had told him he has been found.he ended his story much sooner then the others wanted him too. 

"That's it?" Mrs Maguire said in disbelief. "Well" 

Sidney nodded his head slowly,which he regretted straight afterwards but didn't let the pain show on his face. "I can't remember where i've been. More importantly what I've done, who I was with. All I have is the scar's and bruises to prove I've been through something. Something unpleasant. I wish I knew what that was." He looked up into their faces. "I'm not protecting anyone, I honestly can't remember. I can't remember" he stood up suddenly. "I'm sorry if I hurt you guys. It wasn't intentional"

no one said anything for a while. Sidney mean while glazed out of the window, his pale reflection staring back at him. his eyes seemed dull and lifeless to himself. he wished he could put everything behind him. he felt a hand touch his shoulder. 

"i really had thought I had lost you. we all did" Geordie said softly. "three months Sidney. three months. its too long. you could have said where you were going. we would have understood if you had to go away for a while" 

"i couldn't remember Geordie. I cant remember where I've been." he said raising his eyes to look at his. he held his gaze for a moment and then turned to face the room. "I'm sorry for hurting you all. I didn't mean too." 

no one said anything again, and the constant silence was annoying him. it was still like they didn't believe him. he turned back to the window and watched their reflections as they exchanged worried looks. now they probably think he was going crazy. 

"we should get you checked at a hospital Sidney" Geordie said breaking the icy silence. 

"I'm fine. I don't need one" 

"just to be safe...." 

"no" Sidney said raising his voice. "I'm fine. I don't need to be checked over. I'm fine" 

"Sidney... we`re really worried about you." 

he turned round. "stop worrying I'm fine!" 

"your goodness sake Sidney. you went missing! for three months. of course we`re worried! you cant even remember what happened to you. of course we`ll be worried! what did you think huh?" Geordie stepped forward. "that you`ll come back into our lives and expect us to be the way you left us? huh? because that aint how It work. we thought we were never going to see you again!? don't you realise what that did to us!? it knocked off years of our life worrying about where the bloody hell you were!" he was now shouting and Sidney winced at the tone of his voice. "don't ever do that to us again! never!" 

Mrs Maguire watched Sidney from where she sat. every feeling she was feeling had been told by Geordie. she didn't need to include any more. she felt sorry for him, he looked like a lost scared little boy who was in need of a hug, greatly. 

Sidney looked at the floor. 

"I'm not sorry for all I'm saying Sidney" Geordie said, his chest heaving. "you hurt us. you hurt me. jeez, you even punched me a few times in that bloody church of yours!" 

"I`m so sorry about that Geordie- "

"its funny" Geordie said sarcastically. "you seem to piss of a lot of people lately you need to keep apologising" 

Sidney didn't respond but covered his face with his hands. "i didn't mean for any of this to happen. cant you see it from my point of view?" 

"no not really" Geordie replied coldly. "as far as I'm concerned you ran off and hurt everyone around you. you were only thinking of yourself." 

"i wasn't. i-" he was cut of again. 

"i don't want your silly excuses Sidney. just stop it. i don't want to hear them at all. not at all." 

Sidney still had his hands over his eyes and he supposed that was a good thing he guessed. he could feel the hot sting of tears in his eyes. he knew it was going to be hard but he never knew it was going to be this hard. all he wanted was them to forgive him, he knew forgiveness took time but they just couldn't see it from theire point of view. he was scared, have no clue what happened to him and his head was killing him again. 

"stop avoiding this Sidney. this is serious. " 

"I'm sorry" he muttered hoarsely. "I'm sorry for screwing things up" 

"sorry, didn't quite catch that. for goodness sake Sidney stop being silly. you know we`re angry with you" 

Sidney threw his head up, returning his hands back to his side. his eyes were bright with tears. "i said I'm sorry for always screwing things up. is that good for you? i know I'm not that perfect person you want me to be and I'm trying. I'm sorry i ran off like that. how many times to i have to say I'm sorry? and for the punchings you took- I'm sorry. i`m sorry for everything!" the tears started to leak down his cheeks, he was too tired to stop them. "I'm sorry for even coming back and ruining everything you had created. I'm scared Geordie. I'm scared. don't you think this is hard for me!? i cant remember where I've been and yes that's scary. I'm scared and I'm sorry ive ruined everything. just - leave me alone. i understand" his chest was heaving from his out burst and he raised his arm to wipe away the tears on his cheeks but they were quickly replaced by more. he gave up and looked up at the ceiling. 

at once no one said anything and avoided eye contact with him. the silence was like ice and the only sound that could heard was sidneys sobs. they had a strong grip on him now and he covered his face. " I'm sorry for making you all angry with me" 

footsteps sounded towards him and then he felt someone put their arms round him in a hug. "i`m not going to take back what i said, well most of it, because its how we feel about it. i know you`re scared and we`ll help you as much as we can. " Geordie said softly. the anger had deserted him once he saw the tears stream down his face. he had never seen him cry before and it unnerved him badly. he felt sorry for him and felt guilty he was so hard on him. 

Sidney didn't respond. he had messed up badly and all he wanted was to have none of this ever happen to him. he was tired, really tired, all he wanted to do now was curl up and sleep for about a hundred years- maybe more even. 

"I`m sorry for being so hard on you" Geordie said again and patted his back. "i have to go. I need to inform the station." 

Mrs Maguire nodded shortly as Sidney uncovered his eyes and wiped them on the back of his sleeves, hastily drawing in a breath and following him out. he opened the door and let Geordie out. "I`m sorry. I just hope it don't take you too long to realise how sorry I am" 

"i know you`re sorry Sidney" he turned round. "but its the forgiveness I'm struggling with. you may be truly sorry but at this moment I cant forgive- you ran off like an idiot and didn't return till now- how else were we meant to act? give it time Sidney" with that he headed down the path and Sidney watched him go. he had seriously screwed up everything- ruined his friendship with Geordie, with everyone. he had hurt them all and that was something that was starting to wear down on his shoulders. he shut the door, closing his eyes and then reopened them. he started up the stairs when Mrs Maguire came out. "where are you going?" 

"to bed. I'm tired" he replied without looking at her in the eyes and ran the rest of the way. she watched him go. 


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected visitor turns up at the vicarage....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the really late update. had a lot of exams that I had to revise for and then do. I did have this finished a few days ago but it got erased so I had to redo it. I'm sorry if this is a bit crap or not long. It will get better I promise. enjoy! :)

the next couple of days flew by quite quickly. no one saw much Sidney in the vicarage much, only in passing when he had to get something or it was dinner time. they didn't see him at all other then that- he stayed shut away in his bedroom or in his study. Mrs Maguire was getting extremely worried but she assumed it would take time. he would come back to them, time was their healer. 

he didn't even know how he spent the last few days trapped in his bedroom or study. it must have passed by the constant over thinking- he had been trying to remember where he had been but still no memory had come to him. he had been to the hospital yesterday (against his will) more like forced and they had said his memory should come back soon but slowly- if it ever decided to come back. he was also told to rest and had been given medicine for his head wound but he hardly took it. it was frustrating that he could no longer remember. he felt terrible and stupid- why did he ever come back? that question seemed to keep coming back to him again and again. he knew he was worrying everyone but he felt- numb. he wanted to be able to feel something- but all he could feel was the frustration of not knowing and that frustration was starting to suffocate him. 

a soft tap sounded on the door. he didn't answer but continued to search for a memory. the knock sounded again and he sighed. "what is it now?" 

"someone seems to have lost their manners since they`ve gone" came Mrs M`s strict tone. then much gentler she added. "can I come in?" 

"its a free country" he replied as the door opened with a soft click.

Mrs Maguire walked into the room and tutted at the little (at least that's what he thought it was) mess on the floor. then she looked up at him. "do you want to come downstairs?"

"and listen to more arguing between you two? no thank you. I'm fine" he replied, a little to sarcastically which seemed to put a frown on Mrs M`s face. "We stopped arguing yesterday Sidney. And I don't believe that's the reason. You're trying to remember. Stop Sidney. Maybe you're not meant to remember. maybe it`s not time for you to remember. its not time yet" 

he didn't understand, how can it not be the time to remember? wasn't telling them where he had gone the main thing they wanted to know? shouldn`t he at least try and remember, that way he can move on? they could all move on. 

"don't dwell Sidney." she patted him awkwardly on the arm and left the room, softly shutting the door behind her. 

don't swell? how could he not dwell. he sighed. maybe she was right- maybe they were all right. his memory would come to him when it was ready. if it ever becomes ready for him to find out what on earth happened in three months. 

another knock sounded at the door and he sighed, sometimes he hated being a vicar- it always meant being on call 24/7- never a private moment. "what now?" 

"there`s a visitor waiting for downstairs" 

"who is it?" he asked as he got up and opened the door. 

"now that would be telling" mrs m replied as she turned around to go back down the stairs. "come on. and for goodness sake. smarten yourself up!" 

Sidney rolled his eyes as he followed her and hastily tucked his shirt in where it was coming out. as he came to the bottom of the stairs Mrs m pointed towards the front room. "shes in there" 

"she?" Sidney said questionably but never got an answer back as she walked away. he shook his head and turned to face the front room - seeing a bright red dress and a head full of black curls. Amanda. he walked towards her. "Amanda. I thought you don't visit much anymore" 

she turned round. "well I have tried these last few months but you see there`s been a problem" 

"what?" 

she smacked his arm. "you you idiot! you haven't been here to see" 

"I'm so sorry Amanda." he replied. 

she sighed. "it doesn't matter" she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she stepped closer. "it doesn't matter" she repeated. "I'm just glad you`re back. I`ve missed you" 

"getting sentimental are we?" Sidney teased.

"I`ve always been when it concerns you" she teased back and touched his hand and squeezed it. "i just have one question though" 

"and what`s that?" 

"what on earth have you done with your hair?" she said reaching up with her free hand and brushing it threw his hair. "i have to admit it suits you. got fed up of blonde did we?"

he laughed. "i don't know. maybe" he could feel the pressure of Amanda's wedding ring on the palm of his hand reminding him that she was married and therefore he shouldn't be doing this. he quickly let go of her hand and placed it back at his side, frowning a little. "I`m sorry if you`ve been really worried about me these last few months"

the smile slipped from her face and she turned away from him. "of course I was worried. we all were." she looked out of the window, shaking her head. "i still remember when Mrs m came knocking round at my place" 

"she showed something other then disapprovement then?" Sidney asked and saw the slight hint of a smile on her lips but then it vanished. 

"she came knocking in hysterics. asking if you were with us because you haven't come back and its been two days and they were all getting worried." she watched the trees blow gently outside of the window. "of course, we said you weren't with us because you weren't and she got really worried, telling how you just vanished - literally." 

"I`m sorry" he said. 

she continued like she hadn't heard him - her eyes blank. " I was worried sick. that maybe- maybe the stress of war and the stress of what had happened to Gary had been too much for you - that maybe you`ve gone and were never coming back. but I thought that didn't sound like you. maybe - maybe you just needed to clear your head. you`d be back I kept telling myself. but you never came back" she sighed heavily. " after a month and a half I lost hope. that you had gone forever and I was never going to see you ever again." she turned to face him. "you`re my best guy friend. of course I was worried sick. what did you expect me to feel?" 

"I`m sorry Amanda." was all he could say as he throat closed up from emotions. 

"i know. and I'm glad you`re back but-" she bit her lip and her eyes flickered to the window and then back again. " you could have told us where you went. I know you`ve probably gone through this with mrs m so I`m not going to say anymore then that but please Sidney" she came up to him and wrapped her arms round his neck, closing her eyes and enjoying the closeness. "never do that to us again - ever!" 

he closed his eyes and hugged her back- grateful for the closeness. after a while of being in eachothers arm Sidney decided to speak up. "Amanda?" 

"hmm?" 

"the three months I`ve been missing - I can`t remember where I`ve been" 

"Mrs M was just saying. a case of forgetfulness I think was the phrase she used" she laughed as she pulled away from him and ran her hand one more time through his hair. " I could get used to this colour" 

Sidney grunted in response. " a case of forgetfulness? really? it`s not funny. I can`t remember anything I`ve done. I`ve got the scars to prove I`ve been to hell and back but no memory of what. its far from funny" 

"oh cheer up Mr grumpy guts." she joked but turned serious. she placed her hand on his cheek. "look at me Sidney. look at me" his eyes raised to meet hers. "whatever you`ve been through I promise I`ll help in anyway I can. I know it must feel terrible- terrifying at times to not remember what you`ve gone through and only got scars to stare at but I promise you now Sidney. I`ll help you- so long as you allow my help" 

he nodded, uncertain at first but then more confident. "thank you." he smiled and she removed her hand from his cheek. she grabbed his hands and squeezed them, noticing the scars that peaked out from his sleeves. "what`s this?" 

Sidney knew what she going on about. he inwardly groaned, he didn't want anyone to see that. Amanda was already pulling up his sleeve gently and he resisted the urge to snatch his arm away. she gasped out. "they`re words! scarred into your skin" she looked up into his face in horror and then hugged him again. "we`ll find out who did this Sidney. we`ll recover your memory and find out who did this" she squeezed him. 

he hugged her back. "thank you" 

a slight cough from the doorway cause them both to look round. mrs m and Geordie were standing in the doorway. Sidney and Amanda quickly pulled away and stand side by side. 

"obviously you didn't hear the door bell go I take it" Mrs m enquired. "Geordie wants to speak to you" 

Sidney nodded as Geordie stepped into the room. he nodded towards Amanda who smiled. "hello inspector" she said, eager to break the tension in the room. 

"hello Amanda" he replied "listen Sidney. I know you`ve just got back and the doctor told you to rest but theres been a report of a girl missing and I could really use your help. we`re stuck on ideas and I thought -to get your mind off whats happened you could come with me. do what we normally used to do" 

Sidney looked at the floor. how could he possibly help with a missing girl investigation when he couldn't even remember what had happened to him? he started th shake his head. "i cant Geordie -" he was cut off. 

"it`ll help take your mind off things Sidney" Amanda cut in. 

"it will be like old times. things before you did your disappearing act" Geordie said. 

disappearing act? Sidney frowned at that. he didn't like the way he said that. he made it sound like he purposely went missing. "i cant Geordie - how can I help investigate when I cant remember what even happened to me?" 

"i could really use your help Sidney. " Geordie replied. "and it will be like old times. investigating - beating you at backgammon that sorta of thing" Sidney smiled slightly at that. "and I`m not angry at you anymore Sidney - a little - cheesed off but not angry and I`ll help you with whatever it takes to remember and who had you but remember - don't pressure yourself - when you`re ready you`ll remember" 

it seemed like the slight tension in the air cleared and Sidney nodded. "thank you" 

"so what do you say? you coming?" Geordie asked. 

"go on Sidney" Amanda added. 

" I agree" Mrs M added in too. 

Sidney sighed. "alright I`ll go. I know when I`ve lost" 

"that's the spirit. I`ll meet you outside by the car" Geordie replied and headed out. 

Sidney pulled on his jacket. "thank you Amanda" he headed out after Geordie. "where we going?" 

"i suppose to the parents house" 

"wheres that?" 

"about twenty minutes away from here." Geordie said as he climbed in. 

"that helps" Sidney retorted as he climbed in. 

"totally" 

 

"thank you Amanda" Mrs M said. "your visit seemed to have given him hope. for a moment there I thought I had still lost him- that the person he was before was still lost - somewhere out in the world"

"anytime. and I mean what I said. I`ll help him anytime I can." 


	6. chapter 6

"this is number 55 right?" 

Sidney nodded, pointing towards a house not far. "that's the one" 

they pulled up in front of the house. the house was lovely from the outside - more like a cottage. the rose and vines growing up on the sides of the house gave it a real home like feeling definitely like a cottage along with a creamy pink colour. in truth, it looked real pretty. "great house to grow up in" Geordie observed as he headed up the path towards the door which was also beautifully coloured. "even the doors coloured" 

Sidney followed after him as Geordie reached up to knock. a few seconds later a woman answered the door, eyes extremely red. "yes? how may I help you?" she asked. 

"we`re here about the disappearance of your daughter." he said holding up his identity police pass. 

she nodded and held the door wider allowing them through. "the front rooms through there" she pointed straight onwards. they continued through into the front room. Geordie noticed a picture of a young girl smiling towards something beyond the camera lens. "is this your daughter?" 

"yes" she replied hugging her arms tightly round herself. "Melanie."

"how old?" Sidney asked. 

"12. she`ll be 13 next month" she replied. "my names Madeline by the way" she sniffed as she fumbled for a tissue. "I`m sorry" 

"its fine" Geordie replied. 

"do you want to sit down?" Madeline indicated towards the seats. 

"thank you" Geordie said as he sat down, Sidney sat next to him. then did madeline give him a strange look. "haven't we met before?" 

"erm I don't think so unless you`ve been to my church" he replied. 

she slowly shook her head. "i don't go to church - no I`ve seen you before" 

"well I'm sure I would remember if I had met you" he replied smiling. 

"maybe" she replied but sounded unconvinced. Geordie quickly changed the subject. "so madeline. when did you last see your daughter?" 

"it was last night. when she went to bed." 

"what time was this?" Sidney asked. 

"I`ve heard your voice before I just know I have" she said shaking her head. 

"ma`am what time was this?" Geordie interrupted. 

"errr- about 9 o` clock. she said she was really tired and headed up to bed" madeline replied. "her room was quiet all night- I just assumed she was sleeping. but when I went to check this morning she was gone, bedsheets sprawled on the floor and some of her clothes gone." tears started to retrack down her cheeks again. "she`s never left the house before. " 

"has she got a friend she might go too? a close relative perhaps?" Geordie asked. 

"melanie never really has any friends from school. we moved here shortly after the war from Scotland. shes never really gotten used to the school here - all the children don't seem to like her - she gets bullied quite a lot. I`ve spoken to the teachers before about this but they won`t do anything about it" she replied angrily. "as for relatives they all live in Scotland" 

"any boyfriend she had? maybe someone outside of school?" 

madeline shook her head. "not as far as we know. she did start to stay late - telling me she was at school doing work. she`s quite a head strong girl - always doing work. at the time it seemed reasonable but lately I`ve noticed no work in her bag had been recently completed but I thought maybe she had left it at school but now-" she trailed off. "maybe she was seeing someone outside of school but who?" 

"what about that boy she spoke about?" a man said as he came into the room. 

"i take it you`re the father?" Sidney asked. 

he nodded. "haven't we met before?" he asked. "I'm Michael by the way" 

Sidney shook his head. "like I told your wife, I would remember if I had seen you before" 

"oh" he exclaimed and sat down next to his wife. "what boy?" she asked. 

"that boy she told me about - whats his name - matthew that's it! matthew Thompson. he`s new at her school and she clocked onto him" 

"she never told me this!" madeline cried standing up. "I'm her mother! and she never told me!" 

"she said she was going to tell you - but she didn't think you would approve. " 

madeline sat back down, deep sobs racking her body. "oh what have I done?" 

"nothing" Michael replied soothingly. 

"anyway" Geordie said, bringing the conversation back to topic. "who`s this matthew? could she have gone to him?" 

"i don't know. I mean she said he was her friend and they enjoyed each others company" 

"when was this?" Sidney asked. 

"about a few months ago" Michael replied.

"about the same time melanie started telling me that she was staying late after school to do work" madeline added. "oh what have I done?" 

"do you know where he lives?" Sidney asked. 

Michael shook his head. "she didn't say. but her school should know" he turned to his wife. "cheer up. you know how lost she felt after Sidney left" 

Sidney nearly slid of the chair and Geordie had to grab his arm to stop him from falling. 

"Sidney?" Geordie said questionably. 

"yes - I know we have met before! hello again Sidney." Michael turned to sidney. "never knew you were a vicar. you never mentioned it" 

"I`ve never met you before" he replied, standing up. "i don't remember" 

"when was this?" Geordie asked. 

"about 3 months ago" madeline replied hoarsely. "you came round with Melanie, saying she had been attacked by a guy- the guy had tried to grab her- melanie was in tears and was clinging to you. you didn't look so great yourself. you both came in and explained everything, melanie added in that you rescued her. you were about to leave and we asked you where you were staying. you replied you weren't staying anywhere and explained you were in hiding. someone was after you. you stay for a while about a week wasn't it Michael?" Michael nodded and she continued. "melanie adored you. you were a great help aswell - she said she had told you all about the bullying and you gave her some advice. you were a pleasure to have but then one day you said you had to leave, you had been spotted and - something had to be sorted. you said you would visit. ever since then melanie became a little sad. she grew to like you. we all did"

Sidney didn't respond and madeline continued. "i knew I had seen you before but the hair colour - its different. last time - you were blonde" 

"what month was this? and the date if possible. did he say anything about where he was going? Geordie asked. 

"erm it was about the middle of October. about the 19th, 20th around there and London. i think that's what he said" Michael replied. "why?" 

that what about two weeks after he left. he left on the 6th October. what had he done in that two weeks? that meant he had to have stayed in grantchester for a while. why hadn't anyone seen him? 

"its complicated" Geordie replied. "can we have a look at your daughters bedroom?" 

madeline nodded. "I`ll show you" they followed her up the stairs onto the landing and headed down to the end room, the door not quite shut. Madeline pushed it open gently, being careful to not bash it against the wall. like the front of the house the bedroom was colourful. the walls were painted a faded creamy pink with the skirting board a pale blue. the wall behind the bed was covered in pictures of a girl smiling with different group of friends - different scenery's. "is this her?" Sidney asked pointing to the girl in the middle, long hair down to her waist. 

madeline smiled. "that's her. surely you remember"

he shook his head. "i lost my memory. i cant remember what happened to me since the 6th October" he opened to cupboard. "most of her clothes are gone" 

"i`m sorry" she replied. "i must have scared when i said i remember you" 

"its fine" he didn't quite meet her eyes but continued to search through the cupboards. "what else is missing?" 

"erm - clothes, a pair of trainers and a book" she replied, fingering her chain round her neck between her thumb and forefinger. 

"is this how her bedsheets are normally when she gets up?" Sidney asked crouching down to have a look. 

"not since she was a baby. she`s always kept the sheets on the bed" 

Sidney picked up the sheet with one hand and lifted it up slightly. he turned it round and noticed the blood smeared round over it, like the wound, if it was from a wound, had bled out over it. his mind exploded with a memory and suddenly he wasn't there anymore. there was blood, covering the floor, trailing towards a chair. a chair where he was tied too. cloth was tied over his eyes and blood covered him. someone was leaning over him- but he couldn't see the face- it was like a blank to him. the voice was deep and whispering in his ear, "where is it? tell us"  
he didn't reply and the tie was removed from his face roughly, blood covered his face. it was everywhere. 

"tell us where you hid it" 

"i don't know what you`re talking about" Sidney replied. a hand caught him round the face and he spat out blood. a hand was hastily grabbing his hair, pulling his head backwards causing him to grunt in pain. "perhaps we`re not being clear enough - where did you hide it! we need it"

"i don't know I'm telling you the truth!" 

"somehow i find that hard to believe" the voice mocked and let go of his hair, pushing his head forward. "if you don't tell us within an hour. we`ll get down right mean." 

he could feel a tinkling in the lower part of his arm as a knife started to pierce his skin. he couldn't move as he was tied. the smell of blood filled his nostrils causing nausea to kick at his stomach and he passed out - the sound of a song filling his head and a gentle hand touched his forehead. 

"i think he`s coming round" 

"Sidney? can you hear me? can`t believe I'm saying this again" 

Sidney groaned in response and tried to open his eyes but failed too. they felt like they were glued shut and he could feel himself trembling. a hand touched his forehead again. "he`s awful flushed" a woman's voice, Madeline's, said. "should we take his collar off?" 

he felt someone put their hands underneath his neck and undo the button of his collar- removing it. 

"come on. open your eyes for us" 

that was Geordie again and he grunted in response. "come on Sidney. open your eyes" 

madeline stroked his forehead again and touched his hand. "he`s still trembling and extremely clammy" 

"he`s gone again" Geordie sighed. 

Sidney was back in the room- tied to a chair, nausea in his stomach and the strong smell of blood. he groaned. "no more" 

"tell us what we want. then you can go " 

"i - don't know - where it is" Sidney replied, his throat raw. "you have to believe me" 

"if only we could- unfortunately we can`t because you were the last one with the list. we need that list." 

"I'm sorry" he croaked. "i don't have it" 

"lets take it up a bit then shall we boys?" 

"please ..... no" Sidney begged, to weak to fight back. 

"Sidney. whatever it is- fight it and come out of it. you`re safe and no ones going to hurt you" 

Sidney grunted in response to geordies voice still fighting off whoever was with him, the cloth was replaced on his eyes and he could feel himself weakening- he longed for the sweetness of unconsciousness. 

"come on Sidney. snap out of it" 

"rest now. trust me - there`ll be more to come later" the mans voice said - fading away as geordies took over. "you definitely with us?" 

"i - think - so" Sidney replied, his eyes still closed, body still trembling. 

a hand touched his. "you`re still clammy." 

"hmmm" Sidney replied. 

"can you try and open your eyes?" 

Sidney`s eyes flickered open and the sudden light from above caused him the close them again. "ow" he opened them slowly again. then did he release he was laying down, and in a different room then he remembered being in. he moved and tried to sit up but Geordie restrained him. "stay down Sidney" 

"i`m fine." Sidney replied but Geordie either chose not to hear or didn't hear. "I'm fine" he repeated again. 

"just - stay down. for once in your life Sidney - do what I tell you" 

Sidney sighed and stayed laying down, realising now he`s in the front room on the couch. what had happened to him? the clear images from his ( he didn't know what to call it) episode were still buzzing in his head and all he wanted to do was sleep- he was tired. he sat up dizzily and grabbed Geordie`s wrist. "i know where I was- well one of the places. I was tied somewhere- in a room - I was beaten badly they kept asking for something - a list of something but I didn't have it. I-" 

"just lay down and calm down " Geordie started to push him back down but Sidney refused to go down. "i know somewhere where I was - I was tortured" Sidney said his voice trailing off - he suddenly stopped realising what he had gone through. he looked away from Geordie as he helped lay him back down. 

"just - relax please" Geordie said. 

Sidney laid down but held onto his wrist. he just wanted to sleep and felt tired. his hands were the only thing left trembling however he was still really clammy. 

"here. have some water" Madeline replied coming in with a glass of water. she held it out to him and he took it from her nodding his thanks. 

"is there anything else you need to see?" Madeline asked, turning her attention to Geordie. he shook his head. "no. that will be all. I`ll keep you updated with the investigation" 

once Sidney had finished Geordie helped him stand up ignoring the protests that he was fine. as soon as he was up he immediately started to fall again. Geordie scoffed. "see? I told you" 

Sidney grunted in response. he was feeling extremely tired now and just wanted to sleep. Geordie helped him out towards the car and Madeline followed. "i hope he`s okay soon" 

"thank you" Geordie replied. "I`ll contact you if anything comes through about your daughter" 

she nodded sadly and shut the door. 

"come on. I`m taking you home" Geordie sat and he opened the door and shoved Sidney in, shutting the door. he came round to the drivers side and climbed in. 

"I`m fine really. don't need to go home" Sidney replied but his eyes were already drooping. 

"sure you are" Geordie replied sarcastically. "no buts. I'm taking you back. you`re not well" 

"I'm fine" Sidney replied. 

"sure. keep lying Sidney. for starters you`re still clammy" Geordie replied. he got no response and sighed gently, briefing taking his eyes of the road to look at Sidney. sure enough - he had fallen asleep, his episode having left him tired. what had happened today proved exactly how this was effecting Sidney. "what are we going to do" he muttered to himself. he shouldn't have invited him out - it was the blood on the sheet that had caused it. he had pushed it too far- trying to get back into the routine three months ago but of course- things were very different then they were and Sidney`s little episode proved it. 


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geordie and Phil both question Matthew Thompson and more about who Melanie knew is brought to the surface meanwhile Sidney and Cora have a conversation ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: extremely BRIEF indirect mention of self harm. nothing at ALL bad.

the first thing that pushed their way to his senses was the ticking of a clock. the rhythmic pattern seemed to keep him in a trance. where was he? still at the Smiths house? no, It was far to quiet for him to be there. he forced his eyelids to open and he sat up, leaning on his elbows. he was in a bed- his bed, still wearing yesterdays clothes- the only thing missing was his collar. how had he got here? he tried to put any recent memory into his present situation but none came - the last one being helped into the car by Geordie. he sat up properly, running a hand through hair. the images that happened yesterday ran through his mind in order, almost as in slow motion - the family, them recognising him, the blood, the flash back, waking up to find himself laying on the sofa, the difficult journey to get him into the car, him falling asleep. he groaned, covering his eyes, falling back onto the bed, arms thrown out. he could hear distant voices floating up to him from downstairs. he got of the bed and walked to the door opening it softly. the voices grew louder but not enough to tell what they were saying. he crept half way down the stairs as their voices grew louder and he could make out what they were saying. 

"-is he okay now?"

"i don't know. he`s still asleep. "

there was a moment of pause. "he shouldn't have gone..." 

"i know. I didn't realise how badly it was going to affect him and I'm sorry"

"he`s not going next time - he`s staying here" 

"we need him Mrs M. I`m sure this was just a one off" 

Sidney bent lower so they couldn't see him and strained his ears to hear more.

"what exactly happened? you left so early after dropping him off you didn't explain properly." 

Geordie sighed. "he just sort off passed out or something. one minute he was sitting the next he just started falling and then started to mumble and cry out. he stilled but didn't regain consciousness, we moved him into the livingroom where he started to moan and thrash around every so often."

"what did he say when he woke up?" Mrs M asked. 

Sidney groaned and rested his forehead against the hand rail on the stairs. 

"something about being tortured. something bad happened to him, something really really bad" 

he heard a few gasps and inwardly groaned. he thought for a moment - back to yesterday and the images of the flashback ran through his mind. what was happening to him? they were in there discussing him like he was a nutcase. someone who should be handled gently, he just wanted to pretend nothing ever happened. 

"i don't want him to remember. he doesn't need to remember. he also doesn't need to be involved in this." 

he had to remember. he wanted to remember. they couldn't just talk about him like this. time to make an appearance. he stepped down the rest of the stairs and headed into the front room where Mrs M and Geordie were. the look on their faces was guilt enough that they knew he had heard. "i don't need you both deciding choices for me. the last time I checked I'm not a child" 

"i know you`re not" Geordie replied. "we`re just thinking what's best for you" 

"what`s best for me? I haven't gone mad Geordie - I just - cant remember what's happened to me that's all. stop worrying" Sidney replied, more anger in his voice then he intended for. 

"yeah? and you not being able to remember is worrying enough" Geordie replied. "we just want to make sure you`re okay. we don't want another moment like yesterday - hell it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what I was doing - I didn't even know what was going. that's something we need to avoid." 

"maybe it was a one off." Sidney replied, leaning on the door frame. even though he had slept for goodness knows how long he still felt tired. 

Geordie shook his head ."I`m thinking it was triggered. by what you saw. meaning It can happen at any moment. " a pause. "what did happen? what did you see?" 

Sidney thought for a moment and raked a hand through his hair. "i don't remember much - I just remember I was looking at the blood on the sheet and then I was somewhere else. I was being tortured by someone. then I felt a hand on my forehead and woke up on the sofa to see you and Madeline." 

"what did you see?" Mrs M asked. 

Sidney shook his head. "i don't want to talk about it" he sat down. 

"please? it will be a step closer to finding out where you were. can you describe the room you were in?" Geordie asked. "lay on the sofa. it will help remember. I need to know Sidney."

Sidney shook his head. "i don't want to visit that part again." 

"Sidney. you said you wanted help. now we`re giving it to you. lay down and close your eyes. think about what you saw yesterday" 

Sidney laid down and closed his eyes. "it was dark. the walls were covered in cobwebs and blackened by age. the floor was the only thing that looked clean but there was a lot of blood. " 

"whos blood was it?" 

"mine. It was coming from me" he replied. "there was blood on my face" 

"coming from where?" 

"I- I don't know. I couldn't tell. " 

"was it coming from the rough area of where you have that bruise?" Geordie prompted. 

Sidney shook his head. "no - it wasn't coming from there. there were guys. about four or five of them. " 

"can you tell us what they looked like?" 

Sidney shook his head. "i was blindfolded. but when they did take it off they were constantly in the shadows..." he stayed silent for a while, eyes now darting back and forth behind closed eyelids. suddenly, causing Geordie to jump, he sat up eyes opening. "no! I cant do this anymore. they were hurting me! I don't want to do this anymore" 

"okay! okay calm down Sidney." Geordie replied, trying to calm him. he had wanted to get a little further then that but he didn't want Sidney to get anymore distressed then he already was. "don't worry. I only wanted to try it." he looked at the time. "anyway I better go. me and phil are checking out that lad. matthew Thompson. see where he was the night she disappeared." 

"you found out where he lives?" Sidney asked. 

Geordie nodded. "while I was taking you home after what happened phil went along to the secondary school they both go too and asked for his address. we`re going there in a while" 

"you don't need me?" 

"stay here. Mrs M has aleady told me under no circumstances are you leaving to come with me today. besides - you don't look so good" 

for once Sidney didn't argue. in truth he didn't feel so good. he just wanted to sleep. he blamed the head wound. 

Geordie stood up. "i`ll see you all later then. " 

Mrs M followed him out while Sidney sat for a while, thinking. why was everything just so hard? sitting beside him was a bit of paper. he reached his hand over and grabbed it, opening it up. it was a number. he remembered what cora had said. he jumped up and ran to the telephone dialing her number. after two rings she picked up. "hello?" 

"hello? Cora?" 

"Sidney! oh its so wonderful to hear from you. how are you? is everything going okay?" 

"Everything's okay. What about you?" 

Rustling sounded on the other end, then her voice again. "Boring. Its not the same without you. So tell me - were you okay explaining everything?" 

Sidney didn't know how to explain that one. He decided to change the subject."listen- yesterday I think I remembered something about what happened to me...." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"where were you two nights ago? from - lets say between 10pm and 9am. " 

"asleep why? whats this all about? i haven't done nothing" 

Geordie raised an eyebrow."so you can't tell me exactly what happened to Melanie smith?" 

"Melanie? What's happened to her?" Matthew asked,looking from Geordie to Phil and back again. 

"She's missing. Apparently she was bullied at school" Geordie replied. 

"Matthew's a good lad." A woman with the same features as Matthew said as she came in. "I think it was quite nice of him to get to know Melanie" 

"Missing?" Matthew repeated. "What do you mean?" 

"Went during the night. Do you know where she might have gone?" Geordie asked. "Anywhere she feels safe? A friend perhaps?" 

Matthew shook his head. "I didn't know much about the girl. We just got on well because we were both lonely. She's a great girl. We hung out a lot" 

"Did you know she never told her mum that you were friends?" 

Matthew shook his head. "Do you think I did this? Do you think I took her? We were friends! We were lonely and had no one else" 

"Did anyone hate her?" Phil asked. 

"Most of the population at school. But none would take her." Matthew replied. His eyebrows suddenly drew together. "Come to think of it - there was someone" 

Phil and Geordie leaned in, interests sparked. "Who?" 

"Erm- an old friend for years ago. They recently got in contact and were going to meet up that night" 

"Who is this? Do you have a name?" 

"Tamani. A friend from Scotland. She said he had recently moved down here to study at university." 

"How old is this tamani? Do you know where he's staying?" Geordie asked. 

Matthew shook his head. " she said he was a good few years older then her - but she was certain he would never hurt her" 

"Which university is he studying at?" 

"Cambridge I think. She said he was bright. Very head strong. Why? Do you think he took her?" 

"We're open to all possible theories right now" Geordie replied shifting position. "Anythings possible" 

"I never liked him" Matthew blurted out. 

"Why was this?" 

"He seemed odd. Like someone who would do something like this" Matthew replied, chill going down his spine. 

"Is that all you need inspector? Matthew needs to take his medicine now" his mum said sitting next to her son." I'm sure the police will find Melanie. She was such a sweet girl- why anyone would harm her is beyond me" 

"We'll find her" Geordie replied. He also hoped that was alive. "Just one thing - did you know she was lying to her mother about seeing you? Why would she do that?" 

Matthew struggled. " I don't know. I didn't even know she did" 

Geordie nodded, processing what he had heard. "Well thank you for your time" he stood up and Phil followed. Matthew's mother walked them to the door. "He's not a bad boy. He's just -different" 

A sudden thought came to him. "Matthew, did Melanie ever mention a sidney to you?" 

Matthew thought for a moment. Then nodded. "She mentioned him quite a lot. Saying he was someone they had stay over. She said he was handsome but distant. She was always saying how he had saved her from a guy trying to attack her. I never met the person - she said he had left before she had known me. I thought maybe it was just an imagery person" 

"Hmmm thank you" Geordie replied and they headed away towards the car. Once they were out of ear shot Phil started to talk. "What's Sidney got to do with the case? He's been found" 

" yes but - the smith family knew him. Saw him a few weeks after he went missing. Apparently Melanie grew fond of him but he left suddenly to go to London" 

"London? Why London?" 

Geordie shrugged. 

"You still trying to figure out where he's been these last three months?" Phil asked, smirking. "If you ask me he's probably lying. Some people do when they go through horrors" they were at the car now and Phil opened the door leaning an arm on it as Geordie walked round to the other side. "People do that you know." 

"I don't think he's lying." Geordie said, leaning on the door as well. "He's got a massive lump with a bruise on the side of his head that proves he may have been hit hard enough to have forgotten." 

"So a case of amnesia then?" Phil replied and he got into the car. 

Geordie didn't reply as he got into the drivers side. Just when Phil thought he wasn't going to answer he spoke. "Probably and I'm worried about him.he blacked out yesterday and went ballistic, a flashback. Its driving him mad. And the thing is when I took him back" he stopped talking as he concentrated pulling out. Once they were driving along the road he spoke again. "I saw his arms. He's got marks down them. Words like they've been scarred there- cut into his flesh" 

"You don't think -" 

Geordie interrupted him. "I don't know what to think but if he is doing it himself I'm going to kill him. " 

"He's a vicar. Surely he wouldn't -" 

"A vicar or not. Everyone has emotions and traumas. Everyone has a breaking point. Maybe he just can't face everything. I don't know. I'm worried." 

" maybe whoever had him scarred them. " 

Geordie didn't reply at first as he took a right turn. He sighed. "I don't know what to think right now Phil" 

silence filled the car and then Phil spoke up. "ask him but not directly." 

Geordie snorted. "you don't what you`re asking for. come on, lets get back to the station and check out this Tamani. I want to know everything about him"   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"hmmm- that sounds horrible. are you sure you don't know what they look like?" 

"no. I was blindfolded." Sidney sighed. "Cora? - did you ever notice cuts and words in my arms?" 

"oh yeah. I did notice that. whatever those people wanted from you , used everything against you to get it. involving hurting you which nearly killed you" 

"thank you" Sidney said suddenly. "for listening. its just puzzled me" 

"oh don't be silly. I want to know exactly what happened to you the same as you do. I want to know who hurt you so much and left you in the woods to die" Cora stated, compassion filling her voice. "so what exactly happened when you got back- where they all happy to see you" 

"err... its complicated" Sidney replied. something nuzzled the back of his legs as the door closed, Leonard entering. 

"why? what happened?" Cora asked. 

Sidney stroked a hand across dickens head. "they weren't exactly pleased" 

"why?" 

"i had been missing for three months from here" Sidney explained. "disappeared in October. they were worried sick. a few tempers were sparked and at first they didn't believe me that I couldn't remember but once they calmed down and realised I'm telling the truth they`ve all been a great help" 

"how did your congregation react to having you back? I bet they were thrilled" Cora replied. she held the phone closer to her ear, smiling. 

Sidney looked at the floor. "i know this may sound bad but - I haven't gone back. they don't know I'm back" 

"then- who`s doing your services?" 

"my curate. he's been doing them the last three months. I just cant bring myself to go back yet. have the same question asked `oh where have you been? everyone was worried` I just can`t go through it again. it was bad enough at the vicarage" 

Cora sighed softly. "I'm sorry you feel that way." a pause then she squealed. 

"what?" 

"sorry. got excited. I have an idea! why don't you go to church -" 

Sidney started to interrupt but she spoke over him. "you go to church but not straight away and don't let anyone see you. let your curate or someone you trust explain your back and its all being dealt with and under no circumstances are they to question you about where you`ve gone because you have a case of amnesia?" 

"i don't know-" 

"trust me. you'll love it once you`re back. it will make you feel more at home. you don't have to do it right away just - once you`re ready." Cora said gently. 

"maybe. I`ll try. it sounds like a good idea. thank you." he looked up as Mrs M waved her arm to get his attention mouthing something. "err- I gotta go Cora. thank you so much for the chat. I really enjoyed it" 

"so did I" Cora replied, a hint of a blush touching her cheeks. "I`ll call you soon." 

Sidney smiled and put the phone down, for once since he got back he seemed at ease, more relaxed. 

"who were you talking too?" Mrs M asked. 

"Cora" he replied, turning to face her. 

"the girl who looked after you" 

Sidney nodded. "she's really sweet" 

"well - dinners ready. I thought you were going to talk for ages" 

Sidney rolled his eyes but a flash of smile lit up his face as he followed her. 

 

Cora smiled to herself as she put the phone down. it was so good to hear from him again. it felt lonely without him- felicity was always at work and so she was often at home alone, spending endless hours with herself for company. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geordie and phil go to question Tamani and more is revealed about melanie meanwhile the archdeacon pops round for a visit....
> 
> WARNING: mentions of self harm.

"What's this all about?" 

"Look- we need to ask you some questions. Can we come in?" 

Tamani eyed Geordie wearily. "I don't understand what's this about?" His Scottish accent thick. 

"About Melanie smith" geordie replied holding up a picture of her. 

With speed accuracy the door slammed in their faces, narrowly missing their noses. Geordie and Phil shared a look before Geordie started to bang on the door. "We just want to ask some questions. Open the door" 

Phil sighed. "Guilty gesture. He knows something" 

Geordie agreed. "Tamani. Open up. If you're her friend you'll help us" 

Silence was greeted from the other side and then the door opened as Tamani appeared again. "Alright. Come in. But make it quick I have a lecture soon" he turned round to lead them into his front room. "Managed to get the place last week. Now I don't have to stay in one of the rooms at the university" 

"Doesn't sound to bothered about his friend" Phil muttered under his breath just loud enough for Geordie to hear. He grunted in response. 

"Where were you on Wednesday between 10pm and 9am?" Geordie asked. 

"Well till midnight I was at the university studying. Then I came here and went straight to bed" 

"Can anyone verify that?" Phil asked. 

"Well my friend was with me when we were studying but no as you can see, I live alone" Tamani replied sarcastically. 

"So you knew melanie smith? How did you two become friends considering the age gap" geordie asked. 

"We lived in Scotland together" Tamani replied , brushing a hand through his unruly brown hair. 

"We figured as much. " Geordie replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "how did you two meet?" 

"our parents were second cousins." Tamani replied, flicking his fringe out of his eyes. "we used to live next door to each other." 

"were?" 

"my mother died about 8 years ago. before melanie left to come here." he paused as he looked down at his shoes and then back up again. "i blamed melanie for a few years for my mothers death" 

"and why was that?" Geordie asked. 

"because my mother died because of her" when the others didn't respond but continued to listen he sighed and started again irritably. "melanie couldn't swim. she knew that but when she was 5 she decided to try. I had recently been in the water but I came out to dry off and it was getting cold. I told her to stay but she didn't listen. soon I could hear screaming and someone crying. I rushed out to find melanie soaked to the bone" anger started to fill his voice. "my mother was in the water, I think she was stuck, screaming for help. I watched her head go under water. I was frozen In fear I didn't know what to do. I was waiting for her to resurface but she never did. she drowned because of melanie being stupid" 

"and you still blame her?" 

"i did - until I saw her. she explained what had been going on and I felt sorry for her." 

Geordie shifted slightly. "you were to meet up with her the night she went missing. what happened?" 

"i didn't take her if that's what you`re thinking" Tamani scowled at them both. "she was my best friend. I wouldn't touch her" 

"what happened?" Geordie repeated, urgency in his voice. 

"we argued. she was being a pathetic little girl again- complaining and so I walked off in a huff. she made it home though - I called to check. I swear I didn't touch her. I may be angry with her but I wouldn't take her" he stood up. "i need to get back to studying. I'm done talking" 

phil and Geordie stood up. "well if you have any information , contact us" Geordie replied as they headed down the corridor. Tamani opened the door for them, his face drawn in anger. once they stepped outside he slammed the door, the noise echoing round them. "do you think he`s telling the truth?" phil asked. 

"not one bit." Geordie replied as they walked back to the car. "see if you can get hold of Scottish records for drownings. if he`s telling the truth about that then there should be a police record on it" 

phil nodded and he opened the door to the car and climbed in , Geordie following on. "where are you going?" phil asked. 

"me? I'm going to see Sidney" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geordie headed up the familiar path to the vicarage which seemed quieter then usual. he knocked, waiting for someone to answer. finally Mrs M appeared. "oh it`s you. he`s not going" 

Geordie held his hands up. "i come in peace. I'm not here to take him away. just to talk" 

"oh. well you better come in then" Mrs M led him through to the front room where you could hear raised voices coming from Sidney`s study. 

"you may have to wait a while." Mrs Maguire said, having seen Geordie hear the raised voices."the archdeacon came round. was here to see how we were doing without Sidney, saw him, and as you can hear- " a few more raised voices confirmed what she was saying. "it`s not going well. " 

"how long have they been in there?" Geordie asked as Dickens lumbered over to say hello. he stroked the black Labradors head as Dickens put his nose into his hand. 

"nearly half an hour." Mrs M replied. "at first it was quiet but then about five minutes before you came raised voices started" 

Geordie sat down. "how`s he been?" he asked, remembering his and phils conversation last night. 

Mrs M didn't respond for a while. she stalked off, talking about unmade tea and unclean sinks and he watched her go, speaking volumes that he wasn't doing great. raised voices came from Sidney`s study again and he strained his ears to hear what was being said. he slumped back in defeat and continued to stroke Dickens who rested his head on his knee. 

short, quick like footsteps sounded again as she came back, holding a cup. she held it out to him and he took it, nodding his thanks. "how is he?" 

"before the archdeacon decided to yell at him or before?" 

"before" 

she sat down. "i don't know. he`s better then what he was when he first came back but since that flashback he had he hasn't been the same. he`s still doing normal duties but the lights gone out of him again. he`s not the same he was three months ago"

" it will take time Mrs M. He'll come back eventually and be like he always was." 

She shrugged. "I hope so. he hasn't done a church service yet" 

This sparked an interest. "Why? He's been around for the last two Sundays"

"Leonard's still doing them. Sidney hasn't been to church yet. He may have resumed his duties round the vicarage but he won't do church services" 

"I`ll talk to him. maybe as you said. the lights gone out of him." furious shouts began again. "is this normally how the archdeacon talks to him?" Geordie asked. 

"most of the time. they don't get on much since he`s been helping you lately." 

Geordie nodded slightly. 

just then the door banged open revealing the archdeacon, face like thunder. "you really need to think about what you`ve done Sidney. maybe even decide where you`re next move should take you" he saw Mrs M and his facial expression changed. "good afternoon Mrs Maguire. I`ll be going now. sorry to trouble you" 

Mrs M followed to see him out while Geordie sat there - waiting for Sidney to come out. after a few minutes of stroking Dickens he realised he still hadn't come out of his study. he stood up and walked round to see what was holding him. "Sidney? it`s me" he tapped on the door and received no response. he sighed and went to walk away when he heard something smash against the wall, shattering to the floor. he turned back and opened the door. "jeez what are you doing in here?" 

Sidney was standing by his desk, hand resting on it with his head down and hand over his face. "what did he have to say?" Geordie asked. he noted the broken glass by the back wall. 

"what - his shouting?" 

"yeah" 

Sidney removed his hand from his face and placed it along side the other on the desk. "nothing you need to hear" 

"believe me- I'm sure the next street could hear what you both were saying" Geordie crossed his arms and leaned against the door. "was it about what happened?" 

Sidney nodded turning to face him. "of course. what else would it be about? he`s angry that I didn`t tell him that I was leaving. I told him I wasn't meant to have gone for so long and that I cant remember where I`ve been for the entire three months but of course he don't believe me." 

Geordie didn't reply so Sidney continued. "he started ranting on about what this means and then pointed out that if I`ve been here for the last few weeks why haven't I said anything and done services-" 

"why haven't you?" Geordie cut in pushing away from the door. "what's going on Sidney?" 

Sidney turned around and started flicking through pieces of paper. 

"Sidney?" Geordie questioned. "what`s going on?" 

"could you give that to Leonard please? I just need to finish going through these" 

Geordie sensed the sudden change of subject and stepped forward, roughly taking the pieces of paper from his hands and throwing them onto the floor a little further away from them. he grabbed sidneys arm. "what is going on Sidney?" he demanded. "what`s going on?" 

Sidney avoided eye contact and looked at the floor. Geordie shook him roughly. "what`s going on!?" he raised his voice trying to break through to him. 

"i just cant." Sidney replied flatly. he shook his arm to release Geordie's grip on him and Geordie let him go. he moved away and started to pick up various pieces of paper on the floor. Geordie bent down to help. Sidney continued. "I`ve been missing for nearly three months - its nearly February - a whole new year. I`m finding it harder to adjust then I`d care to admit." 

"why haven't you gone to church?" Geordie asked quietly, standing up and placing the papers on the desk. 

Sidney sighed. " I don't know - I just don't want to go through it. no doubt everyone will ask questions and I don't want to answer." he paused as he stood up as well, placing them on his desk. he continued. "i don't know. it just doesn't feel right like it did three months - my life has changed so much. either for good or bad I just don't know and I wont know until I remember and that's not going to happen for a while is it" 

"maybe if you go back it`ll feel like you never left?" 

Sidney shook his head. "maybe but I`ll have everyone reminding me every so often that everything isn't the way it used to be" 

"is that why the archdeacon was moaning at you?" 

Sidney nodded. "isn't it that obvious? what else would he be moaning at? " 

" I don't know" Geordie replied. "maybe your hair colour- wait - did he notice that? how unlike you It looks?" 

despite everything Sidney rolled his eyes and smiled. "even that. although you and him are the only ones that don't like it" 

"you mean to say some people out there actually like it?" Geordie teased. "i dunno - makes you look - evil" 

Sidney laughed. "hey. Amanda likes it" 

"oh sure she would." Geordie replied, smiling but then it faded as sidneys faded. "she was really worried about you. extremely. her husband got a bit - edgy that she spent most of her time helping out- trying to find you" 

"i know she was. I know you all were" 

"I'm not looking for an apology. I think you`ve apologised enough" Geordie replied. 

"whats been going on with the missing girl?" Sidney changed the subject. 

"nothing at the moment. although matthew gave us a lead with a guy melanie knows- hes at university. if you ask me, he's lying about everything he's told us" 

"What did he say?" 

"His mother drowned , apparently he blames Melanie. That's why they hadn't spoken in a while. He saw Melanie the night she disappeared and they argued. He said she got home. Despite everything he still called to make sure she's okay" Geordie answered. 

"Did her mother know he was back?" 

Geordie shrugged. "I don't know - considering she didn't know about Matthew I'm pretty sure she didn't know Tamani was back either." 

Sidney muled in over in his head, biting his lip. "And I was meant to have known this girl?" 

"That's what she says. What were you still doing in Grantchester? How could we not have found you" 

Sidney sat down and slumped onto his desk. "Do you think if I had known what I was doing I would be able to tell you?" He sat up properly again and twisted round to face Geordie. "The others don't know I know her?" 

Geordie shook his head. "Even if they did question you what are you going to reply with?. No I haven told them" 

"This is just a mess" Sidney sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. "Hang on, there was blood on the sheet wasn't there?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

Sidney turned round. "Blood on her sheet.before what happened I remember thinking it looked like an open wound had bled out of it. Considering it was near the top maybe whoever took her was holding a knife, and they struggled and it caught melanie. " 

"It could be from the bottom though. Sheets can go either way. Depending on how you sleep" Geordie replied. "What you getting at?" 

"Either whoever took her was bleeding or whoever it was hurt her or she did it herself" 

"What do you mean `did it herself`?" Geordie asked. 

"Look" sidney sighed. He stood up. "She's a young girl. You said Tamani blamed her for his mothers death. If that's so then it can affect her emotionally. When I picked it up it could have been a wound but it was speckled. Thinking of it now , maybe the blood came from her because she wanted it too" 

"You've lost me now" 

Sidney stamped his hand against the table. "Melanie smith may have been a self harmer. She was bullied remember? Maybe the blood we found was her doing- not whoever took her" 

Geordie nodded slowly. What Sidney was saying was starting to sink in. "So you're saying she may have been a self harmer?" 

"Didn't you just hear me?" 

"Alright alright. But surely her mother would have noticed.?" 

Sidney shook his head. "Not always. Not if you know how to hide it" 

"And how do you know that?" Geordie asked. 

"That isn't important" Sidney replied turning away. "Its a possibility don't you think?" 

"I never thought about that" Geordie admitted. "Maybe that's what she told you? Remember how Madeline told us she had spoken to you about advice for her bullying? Maybe she had told you that?" 

"Maybe." Sidney replied. "I don't exactly know for sure yet" a hint of sarcasm filled his voice. 

Geordie chose to ignore that, knowing that he was still finding it hard to have gone from remembering things to having a case of amnesia. The silence around them was filled wiith the sound of Mrs m. "- coming here to talk about things. I should have known. Out! He's not going with you guys. He's staying here where I can keep an eye on him." 

Geordie turned round as Mrs M appeared in the door way. "Yes that's you. I won't have you troubling him with stuff about this missing girl. She needs to be found not gossiped about. Now go if that's what you're going to talk about. I won't let him hear about this" 

Sidney tried to stifle a laugh as Geordie looked bewildered. "Alright. I'll see him out. Don't start chasing people out" Sidney found that harder to say then normal when trying to keep a straight face. 

Mrs M nodded in satisfaction and went upstairs. "What the bloody hell was that?" 

"Her new found way of protecting me" Sidney replied as he followed Geordie out. "She says and I quote ' getting involved in police business will only get me mixed up' as if I'm a 2 year old again learning different languages at the same time" 

"How's it going to get you mixed up?" Geordie said appalled at the idea. They had reached the door now so Geordie turned around to face Sidney. Sidney opened the door. 

"Because as I cant remember three months she somehow thinks I should stick to church business and forget about police work until I'm stable. I mean what does that mean? Until I'm stable" Sidney rolled his eyes. 

"Well maybe she has a point" Geordie pointed out. "You need to tread carefully. Don't try to remember straight away. It'll only harm you more" 

"Thanks but I don't need protecting. I know what I'm facing" Sidney replied looking away. "You better go before Mrs M decides to get the broom out and chase you out with it" 

"She'll do that?" Geordie backed away from the door. 

"She's tried before" Sidney shrugged smiling. 

"Well I guess I'll go. See you. Remember Sidney. Don't dwell. Just please. Don't dwell" 

Sidney waved his concern away and shut the door, leaning his head against it.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"What have you found?" 

"Can we talk somewhere private?" Geordie asked. 

Madeline nodded and opened the door wider allowing him through. She followed behind him, leading him into the front room. "My husband`s out at the moment" 

"That's fine" Geordie replied. 

"How is he?" Madeline asked. 

"Sidney?" 

She nodded. 

"He's doing fine." Geordie replied. He changed the subject. "You said your daughter was bullied right?" 

Madeline nodded. "What's this got to do with her being missing?" 

"We found blood on her sheet. The sheet to her bed. Tell me- did your daughter ever " he didn't know to approach the subject. "Use sharp things against herself?" 

"I - I don't know what you're talking about" Madeline replied. "Our girl was never one was harming herself" 

"And how would you know?" 

"Because - because she was such a sweet girl - always happy - always smiling. She wasn't depressed" Madeline replied ,tears welling up in her eyes. 

"Maybe she was good at hiding it. Bullying leads to low self esteem. Maybe it was her only way out" Geordie replied. 

Madeline slowly sat down. "Oh shit. The constant wearing of long sleeves. Oh I'm her mother! I should have realised something was wrong! But I never did. I'm a bad mother"  
Madeline started to cry. "Oh what have u done! I didn't even realise " 

"Pardon?" 

"Thinking of what you said - I realised my daughter only wore long sleeves. Never short. How could I not realise ! She was my daughter and I believed her fake smiles! I'm a bad mother!" 

"You're not a bad mother. Anyone could be fooled." Geordie replied gently. 

"I am. I'm her mother. I should have known. I should have!" She cried. "Do you have children?" 

"Yes" 

"Then you would know how it would feel if one day your child started to harm themselves - for seemingly no reason and blaming yourself for not being a good enough parent"she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. 

Geordie thought to his conversation with Phil about sidney. Was this was he was doing to himself as well? Like Madeline had just said - you believe there fake smiles and laughter because you can't imagine them being hurt and depressed on the inside. 

" did you know Tamani was back?" 

"Tamani?" Madeline repeated. "As in Scottish Tamani?" 

Geordie nodded. "He's studying in Cambridge. Your daughter went to see him the night she went missing" 

Madeline through a cup across the room, smashing against the wall. Geordie ,who wasnt expecting it, jumped. " how many more things are you going to tell me I don't know about my daughter! Get out! I'm done with questions!" Madeline shouted. 

"Alright" Geordie moved and headed out of the room, pausing when he got to the door. "You're not a bad mother Madeline" 

She didn't reply so he continued to walk out, closing the door behind him. That didn't go very well. What else was this girl hiding from her mother? He couldn't really blame her for her angry outbursts. If one of his kids started to hide things from them he knew Kathy would hit the roof. He opened the car door and climbed in, heading back to the police station.


	9. chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Geordie question a woman who knows Melanie and things turn pear shaped .........

"have you thought much on the idea I gave you?" 

Sidney shifted his weight from one foot to the other anxiously. "erm I'm still thinking on it"

"its not that hard Sidney. " cora replied sternly from the other end. "come on Sidney. you need help with this" 

he strugged, knowing cora couldn't see him. he changed the subject. "so how is everything back with you?" 

cora sighed. "empty. felicity`s gone up to Gloucestershire for a week to visit her mother. she was taken ill so felicity went up to help" 

"oh. hope she will be okay. will remember her in my prayers"

"I'm sure she will love that" cora replied, smiling. "but yeah. its boring on my own. just counting the days until she comes back. I hate living alone." 

Sidney laughed softly. "she`ll be back soon."

she gripped the phone as it slipped. "so you remembered anything else to what happened with you?" 

Sidneys smile slid of his face. "no. its really frustrating though. all I remember is what I told you before" 

"you said that smith family said you were planning to go to London right?" cora remembered. 

"erm yeah. that's what they said" Sidney replied, biting his lip nervously. it sounded like to him that she had just realised something. 

"well- why don't you go down there? take a trip to London. see what you can dig out" 

Sidney sighed heavily. "its not that easy cora - I have church duties and things to do" 

"get your curate to do it " 

Sidney interrupted. "you don't know what you`re asking for" he snorted. 

cora chose to ignore that. "think about it. maybe you could bring a friend" 

"maybe" 

"theres something still bothering you isn't there?" cora sounded weary on the other end. 

"no " 

" I know you`re lying" 

"you already know. I'm just trying to remember. since that flashback I thought more would come to be but so far - nothing" 

"don't stress Sidney" cora said gently.

"it seems like a lot of people keep saying that lately" he replied sarcastically. "every single thing I hear lately from people is `don't dwell Sidney` and `It will come back when its ready? can`t anyone see it from my point of view? suppose you went from remembering everything to cant remember three months of your life and th only clue is the scars all over your body?" 

he heard a knock at the door and signalled for Mrs M to open it. he could see her mutter something under her breath and rolled his eyes. 

"i know you must be feeling angry and frustrated and its normal. you`re having flashbacks because of the emotional trauma you experienced but unfortunately you cant remember. I understand but all I'm saying is, and I agree with the others, you shouldn't stress yourself out. it will come when its ready. don't rush it - it`ll only do you more harm" 

"but cant you understand? I need to remember" Sidney answered. "its the only way cora. I thought you of all people would understand" 

he sounded disappointed. cora tried to reassure him. "and you will - with time. trying to remember now wil only cause you anger" 

"but I need to cora!" he raised his voice. " I tought you would understand!" 

"i do but-" 

he interrupted her, to angry and wound up to care. "you obviously don't cora" he heard footsteps behind him and looked round to see Geordie. "one minute" he mouthed. he returned his attention to cora who was ranting on about stress. "look - I cant talk right now. you`re just not understanding" 

"I'm trying! but you`re making it hard!" cora shouted back. she felt tears sting her eyes. she was trying to reason with him but he wasn't taking anything. 

"Sidney calm down jeez. whoever it is trying to help you" he heard Geordie say. he chose to ignore him and put the phone down walking off, the anger fuming off of him. Geordie shook his head slightly. he turned to follow when he realised the phone wasn't quite put down and he could hear a faint voice. he gingerly picked it up and held it to his ear. he could hear a womans voice on the other end, diluted by tears of frustration. 

"hello? Sidney?" 

"he`s gone. " Geordie replied, eying the front room. "I'm his friend - listen he doesn't mean to get angry with you- don't take it personal - he hasn't been himself lately. not remembering is really starting to stress him out so badly he snaps out of the blue at everything." 

" I understand" cora replied, forcing a smile although he couldn't see her. "listen - I have to go but - call me please - if anything happens. those few weeks of looking after him - well I guess I care about him a lot. " 

" i will" Geordie quickly put the phone down and scribbled her number somewhere he would know. he followed though to where Sidney was. "she was only helping" 

Sidney sighed. " i know. i know" 

he chose not to say anything more and changed the subject. " i approached the subject with madeline about her daughter self harming. i don't think she took it well" 

"how so?" Sidney replied. 

"she kicked me out of the house" 

"that bad?" 

Geordie nodded. "do you think you could come see her? she`ll talk to you. you gain there trust much better than i do" 

"he`s not going!" came a muffled shout from somewhere upstairs. 

"can we pretend we didn't hear that?" Geordie said. 

Sidney laughed. 

"don't pretend you didn't hear me! i know you boys can hear me down there!" geordie looked at Sidney with an exaggerated expression. "he`s staying here! where he can be looked after!" 

"shes unbelievable" a rather amazed looking geordie said. "unbelievable. how can she hear us from up there?" 

"she has her ways. trust me" Sidney sighed. he stood up from where he was sitting and brushed his fingers through his black hair. 

" you need a drink" geordie replied, slapping his back. "at least we`ll be away from-" he pointed to the ceiling of the rough point of where Mrs M was. 

despite everything - the anger diserted him and he felt himself relax, the tension running out from his fingers tips. his shoulders visably relaxed. "come on, lets go before she gets her spy kit out" 

"she has that?" geordie asked as Sidney followed him to the door. 

"no. i bet she wishes she had one though. all the more spying she could do on me" sidney replied. 

"wouldn't that be fun" geordie replied as he walked up the path, sidney shutting the door. 

"completely"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"oh - its you again" madeline said stiffly as she opened the door. "hello again Sidney" 

he nodded and smiled towards her. he was slightly apprehensive of being there. 

"we want to help. you know that don't you? " Geordie replied. "all we want is to get the bottom of what exactly your daughter was capable of doing. it will help so much with the investigation" 

madeline nodded and looked down. "I`m sorry for the way I behaved last night. I just flipped out so badly and I'm sorry" 

"its understandable." Sidney said. "was your daughter prone to self harm?"

madeline shook her head."i never thought she would have been- she was always a happy child even when the girls at her school used to threaten her - torment her. I would never off thought she would do that. I noticed she only wore long sleeves but that's all I noticed. never really noticed enough to ask why. I was always at work a lot- it was her dad that was here in the evenings or her babysitter." 

"does she live round here this babysitter?" Geordie asked. 

madeline nodded. "round the corner. she`s polish. her English isn't very good but melanie got on really well with her babysitter. until - that Is - you came along" madeline gestured towards Sidney. "after that - she didn't want anything to do with her" 

"what happened then?" 

"she went and refused to come back. she was angry that melanie was moaning at her. she missed the connection they once shared." she turned to Sidney. "she blamed you" 

"who?" 

"anka." madeline replied. "anka thomasz. " 

"when you said she blamed Sidney how so?" Geordie asked. 

"that he had stolen melanie away from her. she lost her baby girl during the war. she was only 4 years old" madeline paused for a second then continued. "when she looked after melanie it was like having her daughter back - only older as if she had grown up. but then when you stayed and melanie grew fond of you she stopped giving anka the attention she graved for a child. of course you wouldn't remember any of this would you?" 

Sidney shook his head, disappointment welling up inside of him like vomit. 

"have you seen her around lately?" Geordie asked. 

madeline shook her head. "not since she left. she left the house in fits of anger. she has a wild temper that she will attack for no reason. she doesn't mean too- shes really sweet on good days but on bad days - you wouldn't want to cross her" 

"where might we find her?" Sidney asked.

"round the corner. number 45" she replied. "is that all? its just I need to visit my daughter" 

"daughter?" 

"yes" madeline said. "i had another daughter. she doesn't live with us. she lives in the hospital. a special childrens hospital." 

"what happened to her?" Geordie asked. 

"she was fine until she was 5. then her conditions started. I had complications at birth with her. the nurses said she might be fine but it may depend. we stayed with a doctor for 5 years to check and then one day she got really ill. we haven't got the space to look after her here so shes in the hospital. I go to visit her as much as I can" 

"I'm sorry" 

"thank you. shes a real sweet girl. you met her Sidney" she replied, a small smile playing at her lips. "you wont remember her but she`ll remember you. she adored you" 

this brought on another wave of disappointment flooding through him and all Sidney could do was nod and smile slightly. "whats her name?" 

"anya." madeline replied. 

"how old is she?" 

"8 this year. melanie misses her terribly. they used to get on so much even though they argued a lot they loved each other. " madeline said sadly. 

"we`ll let you go and visit her" Geordie said. "thank you" 

madeline nodded and shut the door. 

"wow. it must be terrible" Geordie said reflecting on his own family. "come on. lets go visit this anka." 

they started to walk round the corner and Geordie noticed Sidney was far to quiet then he normally was. "you okay?"

Sidney nodded in response. 

"no you`re not. is it because of what madeline said?"

"i said I'm okay" he snapped then sighed guiltily. "sorry" 

"its okay." he replied then noticed the house number. he pointed towards it. "its right there" he continued towards it, Sidney following on behind and knocked. somhow Sidney had a sinking feeling about this. 

after a few minutes of total silence the door was thrown open and a tanned woman, around the same height at Sidney, maybe even a little taller then him , blocked the doorway. "what do you want?" she snapped in broken English, her long dark hair was down to the bottom of her back. 

"police." Geordie replied, showing his police pass. "we have some questions for you" 

"i done nothing " she said, her voice heavily accented. 

"we`re not saying you have. we just want to ask you some questions about melanie smith" he held a photograph of her up. "you used to look after her didn't you?" 

"yes. I did for while. then I left" she replied. "do you want to come in?" she stepped aside allowing them through, pausing slightly when she saw Sidney. Sidney avoided eye contact with her as he followed Geordie into the house. the sight of anka was pulling some memory long forgotten from the back of his mind but he couldn't quite remember. 

"want drink?" she asked. 

"no thanks. we`re just here to ask some quick questions" 

anka stopped and crossed her arms across her body. 

"where were you on Tuesday 21nd January at around 10pm to 7am?" Geordie asked. 

"i was here. sleeping" 

"anyone can vouch for that?" 

"i live alone." she replied. "whats this to do with melanie?" 

"she went missing that night. no ones seen her since then" Sidney answered, looking up to her for the first time. 

"i know you?" she said, stepping closer. " I regonise you" she stepped more closer. "yes i know you. you know melanie and madeline?" 

he held his hands up. "they know me - i don't know them except for the investigation" he looked towards Geordie for help. 

"we heard you have a grudge against madeline and her family since you walked out" Geordie said, trying to change the subject. 

"it was his fault!" she snapped, pointing an accusing finger at Sidney. "his fault melanie not like me anymore!" her thick polish accent helped with the sound of her threatening tone. 

"who do you think i am?" Sidney replied. 

"Sidney. the boy who came and stole melanie from me!" she replied, stepping closer to him. now they could tell how tall she was. she was a good few inches taller then Sidney. "only difference is, hair colour. but i know its you. i recognise your voice from anywhere!" 

"look- you know me- i don't know you. i cant remember what happened." he replied. 

"don't lie! you know what you did. you stole my girl from me!" she hissed. 

"but she wasn't your girl though" Geordie said. "she was madelines. not yours. did you take her anka?" 

she rounded on Geordie. "why would i take a young girl. I'm not like you!" she shouted, rounding back on Sidney. before he could back away she grabbed his wrist and held on, fingernails digging into his flesh. "you stole my only hope of a child in my family. who cared and loved me" 

"please. it wasn't intentional if i did. i promise you that" Sidney replied trying to calm the situation as well as his screaming nerves. 

"it was intentional. I'm not stupid." she squeezed harder and Sidney tried to removed her hand from his wrist however she held on even tighter. 

"anka. let him go" Geordie demanded. 

" you stole her away. i bet you have her. i bet you took her from her family. after all, she adored you" she hissed. she gripped onto his jacket with her other hand in a claw like position. she leaned closer. "i`m out for you. you stole my only hope for a child. my only hope" she emphasised the word `only` and then shook him. 

Sidney suddenly remembered where he had seen her. his mind exploded with an image of her - gripping him in the same position, shaking him. the only difference was his hands were tied. her voice, a pellet in his ear as she continued to speak low in his ear, hissing and then speaking orders in polish. the room was somewhere he recognised. it was in London. "its you" he found himself saying coming to reality briefly. 

she grinned evily. "proof it." she replied and then his mind went back. 

they were in a room together, her hands over him, gribbing his chin, pouring water into his mouth- trying to choke him, trying to scare him so he`ll talk. she finally stopped and set the water down. his hair was dripping wet and he started to cough violently that shook his body. she stroked his face along his cheek bone. "what a pity" she said in a silky voice. "that we will have to ruin this pretty face off yours" 

"i don't - have it" he heaved through coughs. "i don't" 

she laughed, her voice sounding like an angel. "its a shame really. you`re quite handsome. for a vicar."

he didn't respond but looked over her shoulder. "i don't have it" 

she laughed again and ran her fingers through his hair. "oh but darling - i know you have. you know you have - you just haven't realised it" 

and then he was brought back to reality as Anka was ripped off of him, her fingers releasing his wrist and jacket. "that's enough from you! " Geordie shouted. 

she started to struggle in his arms, clawing and scratching at any part of him she could reach. Sidney , started to get back up to feet, realising he must have tripped when he had a flashback. 

Anka started to kick at Geordie who held her from behind and caught him in the shin. he involuntary slackened his grip on her and she wretched his arm away from her body reaching out towards Sidney and slapped him harshly round the face her nails scratching him across the eye. Sidney reached out to grab her wrists to hold her down, trying not to give into the pain in his cheek and hold it in his hand. his cheek was already bright red with angry ret scratches against his eye, a few bleeding. she went for him again and he grabbed her arm and spun her round grabbing her round the middle, pinning her arms to her side. he held on for dear life, trying not to let her go. "let me go! you can`t proof nothing!" she screamed kicking aimlessly behind her trying to catch sidneys legs. 

Geordie grabbed her wrists. "you`re coming with me to the police station" he said as she continued to put up a struggle. "ive got her. Sidney get out. call the station if you can just get out" 

"but-" 

"just do it!" 

Sidney let go of Anka and hurried outside where he finally cubbed his stinking cheek. he spotted a phonebox up the road and jogged to it, opening it and punching in the stations number. after two rings someone picked up. 

"hello. DC young" 

"phil? its me, Sidney. we need assistance immediately at number 45. same road where Melanie`s house is" he replied. 

"did Geordie send you?" 

"yes! will you just come please" 

"alright alright. " 

Sidney sighed irritably and put the phone down, turning back round to walk back up the the house rubbing his cheek. blood was trickling down into his eye so he rubbed it away. he carried on up and entered the house apprehensively. he peeked round the front room door and saw Anka sitting in the chair near the window, her hands handcuffed behind her, Geordie holding onto her shoulder. when he saw Sidney he tightened his grip on Anka`s shoulder. "did you call the station?" 

Sidney nodded. "they`re coming" he rubbed his cheek again subconsciously, trying to rid the pain that was running through. 

"hurts does it?" anka said sarcastically. "well you deserved it you bastard" 

"that's enough from you." Geordie demanded, purposely gripping her shoulder tightly. " either shut it or I'll shut your mouth for you, you little bitch" 

for once, Anka listened and sat back, sulking. 

finally Phil and a policeman whom Sidney hadn't seen before appeared outside and came inside the building. "whats up?" Phil asked. 

"get this bitch outta here. she`ll be finding herself in a cell for a couple of days or so" Geordie replied, pulling her up from the chair roughly and pushed her towards Phil - who caught her as she stumbled. 

"right. come on" he grabbed her arm and turned round catching sight of Sidney. "what on earth happened to you?" 

he shrugged and turned away. phil dragged Anka outside and put her into the back of the car before driving away towards the police station. Geordie and Sidney stepped out of the house, shutting the door behind them. Geordie finally turned to him. "jeez, are you okay?" 

Sidney nodded. "looks worse then it feels" 

"i didn't think she would attack you. i`m sorry. if Mrs M wasn't going to attack me now - she definitely will now with the state I'm bringing you back in"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he was right. as soon as the door opened and Mrs M saw Sidney she started raising her voice at him. "i told you not to drag him into this but did you listen no" she rounded on Sidney. "and you! - `you`re just as responsible for going out with him" despite her words she grabbed his upper arm gently and pulled him inside, making him follow her into the front room where she sat him down and bustled away to get some supplies to clean him up. she came back seconds later with some cloth and a small bowl of warm water. she dipped a piece of a cloth into it and dapped it on the cuts around his eye. he involuntary sucked in a breath as the cloth touched the cuts. "what the hell happened?" 

"went to question madeline. she told us of a woman who knew melanie. we went there- she got angry and attacked Sidney" Geordie replied in not a lot of detail. he wanted to get Sidney alone and asked what he saw. 

"what kind of woman is she? an animal" replied Mrs M as she redipped the cloth and pressed it against Sidney`s eye who hissed in pain again. she chose to ignore him, feeling sore that he went against her wishes. 

"a bit. listen - I'm sorry for taking him out. i didn't realise anything was going to happen. " 

she chose to ignore him too, showing her anger through her work as she redipped the cloth again and pushed it more harshly against the cuts. "ouch!" Sidney gasped out. "cut it out Mrs M! I'm sorry!" 

"well you shouldn't have gone! next time you should listen to me" she replied just as the doorbell went. she slapped the cloth into the bowl and went away to answer it. 

Geordie picked up the cloth and dapped it gently against the cuts. "I'm sorry Sidney" 

"its not your fault" Sidney replied. he took the cloth out of geordies hands. " i can do it myself" 

"fine. fine" Geordie replied sitting down. "what did you see?" 

"see what?" 

"back at the house- what did you see? don't lie to me- i know you saw something. what was it? was it anything to do with Anka? i heard you mutter `its you` before you zoned off again and then fell as she pushed you back further. your head might be a little sore from the bump you took" 

now he thought about it the back of his head hurt. he brought his hand up and found the lump. he sighed and started to dab at the cuts again. 

"what did you see?" 

Sidney didn't respond but put the cloth back in the bowl and stood up but swayed dangerously. black dots appeared in front of his eyes. Geordie stood up quickly and caught him dragging him back to the chair and pushing him into it. "sit down Sidney" 

"i`m okay" he said, shrugging him off. 

"Sidney. what did you see?" 

he sighed. "it was her Geordie. she had me hostage in London."


	10. chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected visitor pays a visit to the vicarage surprising Sidney.....
> 
> WARNING: mentions of self harm only brief

"Hello?" 

"Cora right?" Geordie replied. 

"Yes. Is that Sidney's friend? I recognise your voice. Sorry I don't know your name" 

"Its Geordie and yes I'm his friend." He answered. 

"Is he okay?" 

"Well the cuts should heal" Geordie replied. 

"Cuts?" 

"We went to question some woman and Sidney was attacked by her. He had a flashback - it was the same woman. She had held him hostage in London." Geordie said, gripping the phone tightly. 

"London? That's where he mentioned the smiths said he was" cora responded. "Oh dear. How is he handling it?" 

"I don't know cora. Its like he's not himself anymore. To be honest with you I don't think he's handling it great" a pause. "He is sorry he snapped at you. He just -feels so low he hasn't called you yet" 

Cora shook her head. "I don't need an apology. I know its not his fault. I understand. I would be the same if it was reversed. " 

"Hmmm" 

"Listen - I have to go now. Look after him for me wont you?" 

"I will" Geordie replied. "Thank you for everything you did for him back in Bristol." 

Cora smiled. "Its my pleasure. He's really sweet" 

Geordie smiled. Even with this woman he had managed to work his charms. "Bye" he disconnected the phone and switched the light off going upstairs. He entered his and kathys bedroom and began to change into his pyjamas. After a couple of minutes Kathy entered closing the door softly. "Kids are asleep" 

"That's good" geordie replied vacantly, his thoughts on Sidney and his conversation with cora. 

"What's bugging you?" Kathy said coming up behind her husband. 

"Nothing. I'm fine" he replied. 

She shrugged. "Suit yourself then" she got up and began changing.she had a rough guess what was bugging her husband. "Is Sidney alright?" 

"He's not himself lately Kathy. Like Mrs M put it." Geordie turned round to face his wife who had just finished changing and was sorting out the sheets on her side of the bed. "The lights gone out of him."

"Well imagine if you had come back after three months and couldn't remember what happened and only had scars to prove you had gone through something? I don't think you would be your normal self" 

Geordie throught about what his wife had said and sighed in response. "I suppose so" 

"Exactly." She replied matter of factly. "Who were you talking to on the phone?" She climbed into bed shifting the bed sheets slightly. 

"Cora." 

"Wasn't she the woman that looked after him?" Kathy asked. 

"Hmmm" 

"The poor boy. But I'm sure he'll be okay. He's a big lad. Don't worry about him so much" 

"I know its just -" he cut off not knowing how to say it. 

"Just what?" Kathy demanded going up to her elbows. She stared at her husband's back,waiting for him to say something. 

"I think he's hurting himself" Geordie replied. 

Kathy turned onto her side, still facing her husbands back. "How so?" 

"As in using blades or something to use on his arms" 

"What makes you say that?" Kathy asked. 

"Because - I saw his arms. That day he - had an episode at Madeline's and passed out and I took his home knowing he wasn't right." When Kathy didn't inject her input he continued. "I took his jacket off once we got him upstairs. He half walked up, half dragged up there because he was only semi conscious he doesn't remember that. Anyway I took his jacket off and his shirt sleeves rolled up - revealing a few cuts and a few words scarred into his flesh. At first I thought maybe it was whoever had had him was to blame for it but then thinking about it... It doesn't fit" 

Kathy sat up in bed and hugged her husband from behind. "You worry about him too much" 

"Too much?"

"I meant it in a good way. You worry about him like a father and its sweet. I know it would kill you to think that he does it himself but every self harmer has a reason - a reason that may kill you emotionally." She kissed his cheek. "Talk to him Geordie - if what you say is true then he will need as much support as he can get. You can help him through it. He trusts you I know he does. You're almost like a father figure to him" she kissed him again. "Now let's get to sleep before the kids can hear us chatting and decide to keep us awake for a few hours don't know about you but thats not what I would like" she let him go and laid back down patting the bed. "Come lay down Geordie " she said gently. "I know you care about him but worrying half the night isnt going to change nothing. If you want to help let him know you're always available to him if he ever wants to talk to someone. That's all you can do at this stage" 

He laid down and pulled the sheets up. " I suppose you're right" 

"I'm always right. A wife is always right and her husband is wrong now let's sleep" 

"Since when am I always wrong?" Geordie asked, humour in his voice. 

"Since you married me"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now he definitely could feel the pain that flashed through his head every time he moved. The lump had grown twice the size and all he wanted to do was sleep however sleep wasn't going to come back. He hadnt gone to bed till midnight because of his over thinking and headache and then when he did go bed he couldn't get to sleep until 2:30am and then woke up at 4:30am to be violently sick in the bathroom. He was back in his bed now, shivering slightly. He blamed the head wound. He rolled over to his left gently not wanting to unsettle his unruly stomach. His forehead felt clammy yet his body was shivering. No doubt he had bloody concussion. Oh the joy. 

He sighed and started to think back to his flashback. His eye was no longer hurting however his cheek was bruised along with his eye where the scratches were red and itchy. So that was two things that he knew that happened - the flashbacks could have been linked. He remembered how he had snapped at cora and he groaned. She was never going to forgive him. Not for the way he treated her. He just wanted to bury himself into a hole and not resurface for about a hundred years. He buried his hot head into the coolness of his pillow. Sleep suddenly seemed like a possibility and he closed his eyes the exhaustion finally seemed to desert him... 

Sudden nausea gripped his stomach and continued to rise and he groaned into his pillow before pushing himself up and rushing to the bathroom before being violently sick. His head was pounding and he held it in his right hand, trying to keep the nausea down. It didn't really work - he was sick again. He fell to the floor and held his head in both of his hands and leaned back , resting his back against the bath side. His hands were trembling. Just then there was a soft tap at the door. "Can I come in?" 

"Its a free country" he replied, as the door softly opened with a click. Mrs M came to kneel down next to him. "You poor boy. Its the head wound I think" 

Sidney nodded in agreement. 

"I brought you this" she held out a glass. "Medicine mixed with water. It'll help" 

Sidney took it reluctantly in his hand and started to drink it slowly so to not unsettle his stomach. "Thank you" 

She took the glass back from him. "Now you get some sleep its nearly 5:30" 

He nodded and stood up, feeling dizzy and grabbed the sink for support.once his head had stopped spinning he let the sink go and started to walk to the door. "I can manage" he said hastily as Mrs M reached out to support him. she reluctantly let her hands fall to back to her side and followed him out of the bathroom. "take it easy and get to sleep" she called out softly to him as she watched him walk back to his bedroom. he waved his hand to acknowledge her concern and shut the door briefly sighing. his legs felt like wet noodles as he crossed to his bed and climbed back in, pulling the blankets up. the nausea that had gripped his stomach for the last few hours was showing signs of not returning so he closed his eyes falling straight to sleep.  
~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~  
he was jolted awake in cold sweat by a nightmare, a nightmare about anka and her evil laughter in his ear as she tortured him, trying to get information out of him. he blinked his eyes and was dismayed to find light streaming through his curtains. considering it was winter that meant it was late enough though it still felt early. he went up to his elbows and squinted at the time through half shut eyelids. the clock read just after 8 o clock. he fell back against his pillows, his head hitting the headboard and he swore softly to himself before apologising. with sudden dismay he felt nausea once again grip his stomach. he had barely made it to the bathroom where he was violently sick again and his head hurt more then ever, not as quite as it did when he woke up at Cora's, but near enough. the lump on his head had grown smaller but not by much. 

"Sidney? that you?" 

with a panicked expression Sidney tried to stand up from the floor without looking like something was wrong, unfortunately his legs wouldn't allow him to get much further then his knees. 

"Sidney?" 

Sidney looked up to find Geordie standing in the doorway. "are you okay?" 

Sidney nodded slightly , trying to not aggravate his head wound and also the nausea in his stomach. "I`m fine" even those words were threatened to be said without vomiting. fortunately, he managed it. he tried to change the subject. "why are you here so early?" 

"Mrs M sent me up. said I could come up as I had to talk to you" 

"oh" he was busy concentrating on keeping the nausea at bay although that was proving much difficult then he thought. "what is it?" 

"doesn't matter are you okay? you look clammy. " Geordie stepped forward and briefly touched his hand to Sidney's forehead. "i was right" he let his hand fall back to his side. "you look terrible" 

"thanks" Sidney replied sarcastically. 

"i think that head wound did more damage then I thought. does it hurt still? you had quite the hit there on that table" he said. 

"it hurts a little" a little didn't even begin to describe but he didn't want to worry Geordie anymore then he already had in the last three months. 

"a little?" Geordie repeated, not believing one word he had just heard. 

"what were you going to tell me?" Sidney asked, reaching up to grab hold of the sink to pull himself up. once standing, he kept his hand on the sink knowing he wasn't going to manage standing alone. 

"have a look at this" Geordie took a photograph out of his pocket and handed it to Sidney who took it and looked at it. "its a picture of the state the floor was left in , in Melanie`s room." 

"look" 

"what am I meant to be seeing?" Sidney replied, rubbing his eyes. with only about three hours of sleep throughout the night he felt exhausted. 

"just look closer. mainly at the bed" Geordie replied pointing in the general area on the photograph. 

Sidney looked closer with bleary eyes and blinked a few times. he could see the blankets on the floor, some specked with blood. the pillows had moulds in from something leaning on them. "there`s nothing unusual about these" 

Geordie sighed and took it out of his hand. "now you can tell you`re definitely not yourself. normally its you picking out the most obscure things from scenes. look" he pointed to the pillows. "look at the dents made in them. this pillow here" he pointed to the one on the left. "had markings of someone often laying there. its completely dented in however the right one" he pointed to the right pillow. "looks to have been pressed into someones face" 

"so - you`re saying Melanie may have been smothered? then wouldn't the person who had her would have just left her there to die?" 

Geordie shook his head. "not necessarily. maybe whoever it was didn't want to kill her right away. -" his theory was interrupted as Sidney turned away abruptly and threw up again. "i definitely think its the bang to the head that's causing this" 

Sidney didn't trust himself to speak so he waved his hand in the general direction of Geordie. "give me - 5 minutes. I`ll meet you - downstairs" 

Geordie nodded and headed downstairs. Mrs M looked up when he approached. "is he still vomiting?" 

Geordie nodded as he sat down. "yeah" 

Mrs M placed down the brass she was cleaning and looked towards Geordie. "could you maybe talk to him perhaps? see what`s bothering him. I know something is, he was down when he came home from being with you. "

"that may be due to the flashback he had yesterday" 

"what exactly was it about? the same thing as last time?" she asked. 

Geordie shook his head. "the woman we went to ask questions too. shes melanie`s babysitter. well was - shes angry that Sidney took melanie away from her. when she started to attack him- he realised where he had seen her. it came to him through the flashback. she had him hostage in London" 

"Sidney wouldn't do such a thing. jealous woman!" 

Geordie nodded in agreement. "she did lose a child though." 

"oh." Mrs M picked up the brass again and began cleaning it. footsteps sounded on the stairs and Sidney appeared, dressed now. his dark hair stood out in contrast compared to his pale skin. "right. what were you saying Geordie?" he asked as he sat down, groaned and then fell backwards leaning on the back of the chair and resting his head against the top of it. 

"i was saying whoever it was may her smothered her just long enough for her to stop struggling and grow weak. then took her." 

"wouldn't it have been a bit hard to get her out of the house half conscious?" Sidney asked. 

"not necessarily. he could have carried her out through the window or down the stairs out of the door" 

Sidney reached over and picked up the photograph and looked at it closer. 

Geordie watched his facial expressions. "you don't think so do you?" 

"well- its possible" 

Geordie stood up and walked round to the back of him and leaned over. "well one thing we know for sure though" 

"whats that?" Sidney said looking round to him. 

"that she was a self harmer" Geordie pointed to the bed. "the blood on the bed on the bottom sheet. its only a little. not enough to have come from a massive wound or even a small wound - just enough from a thin cut on the wrists or arms." 

"hmm" 

"and take a look at this" he pulled out another photograph from his pocket and held it out in front of Sidney. "this was taken about two months ago - look at her arms" 

"faded cut marks" Sidney said. 

Geordie moved away and sat back down opposite him. "she was a self harmer. that blood we found in her room was her own doing" 

"hmm. and for the theory on the pillows-? lets get back to that" 

"if you smother someone with a pillow for a little bit you only get them semi conscious but they can revive quickly. whoever it was didn't want her to start attracting attention to him so he smothered her for a few moments so she wouldn't scream as soon as she woke up" Geordie explained. 

"that's starting to make sense now. but why try and carry her out? wouldn't that just slow him down?" Sidney asked. 

Geordie stood up. "lets say your Melanie and I'm the person." he picked up the pillow. " lets say I'm someone she doesn't know. she wakes up" he stepped closer. "and opens her mouth to scream. he leaps forward" Geordie moved quickly forward. "and quickly places the pillow over her face and presses down firmly for a few moments until her struggling becomes less" he placed the pillow over Sidney's face. "once her struggling becomes less he picks her up, maybe ties something over her mouth and takes her away. in the haste of everything he forgot to pick back up the blankets she had obviously kicked off in the struggle." 

"oh the poor lamb" Mrs M said.

"one. I don't know why you had to demonstrate on me and two, hold it any longer and you`ll end up having two victims except one would have been killed by you" Sidney`s muffled voice said from behind the pillow. 

"sorry" Geordie removed the pillow from his face. "its possible don't you think?" 

Sidney nodded slowly, so to not aggravate the lump on his head and the nausea. 

"you`re nausea still bothering you?" 

"a bit" Sidney replied, breathing in deeply. 

just then a knock sounded at the door. Sidney moved to get it but Mrs M stopped him. "you rest." she ordered. "no doubt you got concussion from your .... outing" she walked off. 

"she still on about that?" Geordie asked.

"every minute" 

"hello? don't think I know you" they heard Mrs M said.

"you probably don't. although I'm sure you heard about me. my names cora. the one who helped out with Sidney" 

Sidney sat up straighter. Cora? here? 

"oh yes! of course. come in" they heard Mrs M say. "he`s through there" 

Sidney stood up, ignoring the pain and nausea. Cora appeared in the doorway, looking up and catching sight of Sidney. a hint of smile lit up her face. 

"cora? what are you doing here?" 

"i came to see you. I heard you were having a hard time especially what happened yesterday. so I decided to come down. besides our visit is long over due" cora replied. 

"how did you know? I didn't exactly call you" he replied, guilt written across his face. 

"your friend called me" he nodded towards Geordie. "you`re Geordie right?" 

Geordie nodded. "yes. I never realised you were coming down" 

she smiled. "i had to see him again" she turned back to Sidney. "i heard you had a rough day so I decided to come down. I decided once I got of the phone to Geordie. I had to see you. sounded like your having a rough time" she smiled. 

he came forward to her and hugged her. "I`m sorry for what I said to you. you were only trying to help. I'm sorry" 

"i understand Sidney. its alright" cora replied, hugging him back. she released him. "I`ve missed having you around" 

"I`ve missed you too" he replied.

"do you want a drink or something?" Mrs M replied. Sidney found it shocking. normally she was also grumpy when a woman was around the vicarage. 

"thank you. that would be nice" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
a few hours after cora had replied they were sitting around in the front room, each eating a slice of cake that Mrs M had prepared, all except Sidney who didn't trust his stomach. his head was still a little painful but the lump on the back of his head was starting to fade and he had thrown up twice since cora had turned up. now he was sitting resting. the nausea feeling was starting to clear up but he still didn't trust it. 

"Geordie told me what happened. judging by the cuts round your eye she was rather aggressive" cora pointed out. 

Sidney nodded. "just a little." 

"what exactly happened?" 

Geordie began to explain, missing out some of the details that he couldn't reveal due to police business. Sidney eventually cut in when explaining what he had seen. "she had me hostage in London. it was her and a few others. all polish speakers" 

she shifted position and looked at him. " I know I may have mentioned this to you already Sidney but perhaps to find out more about what happened to you, you should go up to London. see what you can dig out" 

"i cant. I have things to do here" he replied. "besides how am I meant to dig out the information." 

"ask around?" 

"oh that would be fun. `excuse me sir, about three months ago did you see either a dark haired man or a blonde haired man around. possibly beaten. looked a lot like me" he took a drink of water. "they`ll think I'm mad" 

"it does make a lot of sense Sidney" Geordie commented. "go up London. we can track where you went. I'm sure someone would have seen you. we could also ask questions if anyone had seen anka" 

"we?" 

"of course I`ll come with you. no offense Sidney but after what happened I wouldn't leave you to go to London on your own and maybe not see you for another three months"

Sidney started to interrupt him but he carried on. " when you first came back I promised I`ll do whatever I can to help. and now I'm going to help you" 

" so will I" Cora replied. "when I took you in I promised I would help you. so here I am. we need to get to the bottom of this mystery." 

Sidney nodded, too overcome to say anything. finally after a few minutes of swallowing he spoke up. "when shall we go?" 

"tomorrow" Cora replied. "the quicker we get there the quicker we can find out what else happened to you" 

Geordie nodded in agreement. "I`m in"


	11. chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geordie, Sidney and Cora all travel up to London - finding much more then what they bargained for.....

"whats wrong? you`ve been quiet all morning" 

Sidney turned his head from the train window to face Geordie who had spoken. "hmm?" 

"i said what`s wrong? you`ve been quiet all morning. you`re never this quiet" Geordie answered, studying him. cora also turned her head to look at Sidney who was sitting next to her. 

he shrugged. "nothing - just thinking I guess" 

"about what?" 

"i don't know" 

"how can you not know what you`ve been thinking about?" 

in truth, Sidney knew exactly what he was thinking about. he was worrying so much about their journey he was terrified. he was terrified about what they might discover about where he had been, what he had done. it had kept him up the entire night, tossing and turning, unable to endure sleep. now on the train, his stomach was full of tension and anxiety that he felt physically sick. he wasn't ready for this. whatever they were going to dig out, he wasn't ready. 

"hey. you`re miles away" cora touched his arm, bringing him back to the present. she put down her book that she was reading. "whats wrong?"

"nothing" he replied. 

cora gave him a `please don't insult my intelligence` look and he sighed. "I`m just worried about this journey that's all" he admitted. 

"whats to worry about?" Geordie asked. "we will find something Sidney. don't worry" 

Sidney shook his head and rested his lower arms against the table. "it`s not that that I'm worried about. " 

"then what is it?" cora asked. 

"what if what we find is horrible? what if the things we discover like what had happened to me are too disturbing to think about. I cant deal with it" Sidney replied, staring at his hands. 

"whatever we find, no matter how horrible or whatever we`ll be here for you. we`ll support you. " cora reminded him, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. "you`re not alone in this. we`re in this together" she squeezed his hand again with affection. 

"cora`s right Sidney" Geordie agreed.

he smiled towards her and nodded. "i cant promise you I wont be worried every so often but I`ll remember that" 

"good." she held onto his hand longer then necessary and Geordie noticed this. 

she noticed Geordie looking at her hand wrapped round Sidney's and she took it away before he got any ideas. she picked up her book and began to read but she was all worked up now and was finding it hard to concentrate.

After half an hour of silence Geordie leaned forward again. "So what exactly are we looking for?" 

Cora put her book down and frowned as she thought. "Well- just wonder around for a while -see if anyone approaches and says they recognise him" 

"You've got to be kidding me" Sidney replied. "Walking round London , just to see if anyone recognises me?" He shook his head in disbelief. 

"Well look on the bright side Sidney." Geordie answered, trying not to laugh at the look on Sidney's face. "It'll feel like a parade. Parading you round - you'll never know - you might find yourself a girl with your looks" 

Sidney threw him a look. " You know they pay in zoos to idlise and watch" 

"Well do you both have a better idea" she said sarcastically, throwing her hands down harshly on the table. A few people around them turned to give them curious looks and cora ducked her head slightly. "All I'm saying is - someone surely would have seen you. You couldn't have wondered the streets of London for goodness knows how long and have no one see you" she pulled out a little notebook. "Now If that don't work then maybe we could ask round or as a last resort - I haven't got that far yet but I'm working on it" 

"You have a list for this?" Sidney raised an eyebrow at her. 

She looked at him innocently. "I always come prepared. Notes help you remember what you need to do or which way to handle the situation" 

"We're trying to figure out what happened to me not go to some conference." 

Cora chose to ignore Sidney and turned to Geordie. "You're a policemen what ideas do you have?" 

Geordie shrugged. "Oh hell knows. I'm all for yours. Parade Sidney round like a zoo animal. Like you said somebody should have seen him" 

"I'm sure too." Cora replied. She scribbled something down then tucked a strand of lose hair behind her ear. "I mean some may have seen him with normal hair colour. We still don't know when he dyed it" 

"Last time I checked I was right here" Sidney said sarcastically. He hated being discussed as if he was a case to be cracked. He stood up. "If you'll excuse me I'll go so you can talk about me a bit more without me eavesdropping" he started to walk down the carriage having no clue of where he was heading. "Sidney wait-" came Cora's voice, but he didn't turn back round. 

Cora got up to follow but Geordie grabbed her wrist. "Leave him- he's still trying to work all this out in his head. It's slow progress but he's getting there" 

"I hope so" she sighed as she sat back down. "Do you think we're making a mistake?" 

"What makes you think that?" 

"Well what if Sidney was right? What if what we find out, he can't take it emotionally and it ruins him? I don't think I would want to do that to him. He's so sweet" 

"We need to get to the bottom of this cora" Geordie reminded her. "He'll pull through. He'll get his head round this - and we'll be there to support him through it" 

Cora shifted slightly and nodded in agreement. "I suppose you're right." She nodded towards the way where Sidney had just gone. "Do you suppose he's okay?" 

He nodded. "He'll come back -but before he does I want to ask you something" he leaned forward towards her, arms on the table, folding in front of him. "When you brought him in to your house - did you notice his arms?" 

"His arms?" 

"I meant like - " he really didn't know how to put this. "Cuts and scars that seem a little out of the ordinary."

Cora through for a moment then she looked back at him. "I remember he mentioned something like that to me over the phone. Something about he couldn't remember how they got there or something why?" 

"Do you think he could have - done it himself?" 

"Surely he'll remember if he did it himself" cora replied shaking her head. "Besides why would he do such a thing to himself?" 

"I don't know - I just have my suspicions" Geordie replied, thinking. 

"Well at this precise moment I don't think your suspicions are true." She nudged his arm. "Here he comes" 

Sidney slid back into his seat. 

"Where did you go?" Cora asked. 

"For some air" he replied. "And sometime to think" he settled back into his seat. "So what have I missed?" 

"Nothing important" Geordie replied. "Just about what our next move is if all two steps of our plan fail" 

"Can I tell you both something?" Sidney replied leaning closer. They both leaned in as well."we're -not - spys" 

"Who said we are?" Cora replied, folding her arms. 

"I do. The way you're acting it's like we're on some sort of secret mission. It's making me edgy and I don't like it. " Sidney replied. 

Cora frowned at his sudden sentence knowing he was only anxious so she let his moodiness slide -for now.she twisted round in her seat. "We're here." She exclaimed as she stood up , brushing out her skirt and grabbing her back. She turned to the boys. "You two coming or are you planning on going back to Cambridge?" 

"Now that sounds like a good idea" Sidney replied but was dragged up by the arm by Geordie and pulled of the train. He shrugged him off. "I was joking." 

Geordie rolled his eyes at his friend and then turned to Cora who was fumbling in her bag. "Where now?" 

"Let's get of the station first " she replied. 

They joined the other people who were walking out of the station and followed them until they came to the outside of the station. "Let's just slowly walk to our hotel" cora said. "See if anyone recognises him" 

"Like i said on the train - they pay in the zoo" Sidney replied sarcastically but then looked round anyway, seeing if any of it felt familiar. 

"Does any of this feel familiar?" 

Sidney shook his head. "No. The only spark of familiarity is of when we came to London that time" he replied looking at Geordie. "Other then that - nothing" 

"Well -lets keep trying" cora said leading them down the street. Her coat was flapping about in the wind as a strong blast of wind blew in their direction. 

"Where exactly is our hotel?" Sidney asked. 

"Now that would be telling" she replied. "It's a surprise" 

"Right" 

They continued on, Sidney looking around every so often to see if anything sparked a memory. Still nothing. " I don't think im ever going to get a spark of a memory cora" 

"It will come to you when it's ready. just - keep looking" 

Sidney sighed and kept looking round every so often taking in all the sights. To others he must have a looked like an over enthusiastic tourist. 

After half an hour of slow walking to the hotel, they all started to feel the cold. sidney decided to speak up again. "It's getting colder. Let's just quickly get to hotel and try again later" 

Before cora or Geordie had time to respond to him a woman of about 50 approached them, her eyes at Sidney. "I didn't think you would come back here dear" 

Sidney looked startled at the woman and forced himself to act natural. "You know me?" 

She nodded." You were here about 3 months ago. Somewhere at the ending of October - late November. Goodness child - don't you remember?" 

"Did he ever speak to you?" Geordie asked. 

She nodded. "Yes he did in fact." 

"What did he say?" Cora added, eyes sparkling with interest. 

"He wanted to know where the bank was. He had something very important to place there. You said you were in hiding. You had to get away from your previous life." 

"Do you know what I put in the bank?" Sidney asked, licking his lips anxiously. 

"You never said dear. " She replied smiling. " I just never knew you were coming back. You still staying with that vicar friend of yours?" 

"Vicar friend?" Sidney repeated frowning. 

While sidney was adjusting to this new information Geordie decided to start asking questions. "What was he wearing?" 

"I can't remember. The first time I saw him he was dressed as a vicar the second with different clothes and different hair colour" she turned back to Sidney. " Say - what did you do with your hair? You were awfully handsome with blonde hair. Although black suits you just as well dear" she drew her coat closer to herself. 

"So somewhere down the line of being here Sidney you changed clothes - to hide" cora said, scribbling down in her notebook. 

"Sidney?" The woman said looking at him. 

"Yes. That's my name" 

She shook her head. "No - last time when you met me you said your name was James." 

"So you were using others names to hide?interesting" cora continued to scribble down notes, her eagerness clear in her face. 

"Did I give a surname?" Sidney asked. 

"Surely you'll know - you gave the alias silly" the woman pulled her coat tighter to herself as another gush of wind blew in their direction. 

"He has a case of amnesia. He can't remember what happened." Geordie said in a low voice. "We're his doctors - helping him to recover his memory otherwise he'll end up going crazy with frustration" 

Sidney raised his eyebrow at Geordies explanation. 

The woman turned to Sidney , grasping his hand. "I hope you remember what happened dear. You're in grave danger. Extreme danger" 

"From who?" Geordie asked. 

She shook her head. "I don't know who they are - but they were wondering around the last time you were here - you were chased out and then I never saw you again. They're still here somewhere. " She squeezed his hand. "Please - Sidney stay away and get out. If they know you're here they'll try again. " 

"Thank you" he replied, an edge to his voice. She turned to walk away but he grabbed his arm. "This vicar who I was with - do you know his name?" 

She nodded. " Nice young man. He knew you - you argued for a bit but then you settled. " 

"Whats his name?" Geordie said , urgency in his voice. 

"Name of Sam. He's been staying round here laying low since an incident up north in Cambridge I think. A little village there. He's a pleasant young man. Like you" she smiled. "Now if you'll excuse me - it's getting colder and at my age you feel it more. I suggest you all should get in somewhere warm. You never know it might snow!" She started to scurry off. 

"Could you tell us which way the bank is please?" Cora called out to her. The woman turned round, still walking but backwards. "Down the road. You can't miss it" 

"Whats your name?" Sidney called out. 

"It's Melissa" she replied before hurrying round the corner and out of sight. 

"I was with Sam?" Sidney said in disbelief. 

"Apparently so. Well at least we now know where he went" 

"I was with him?" Sidney was still ranting on. "Why on earth would I go to him?" 

"Heavens know" Geordie replied. "You guys were once best friends you know" 

"And what's this about me being in your care as my doctor?" Sidney asked, giving him a look. 

Geordie shrugged. "First thing that came to my mind" 

"You couldn't just say you were my friends helping me? You know, the truth!" Sidney stated in disbelief. 

"Oh. Well now that actually sounded better" 

"Exactly! What you said made me sound like a nut case" Sidney rolled his eyes but he couldn't stay angry- he was just happy they were still helping him and not giving up.

"Aha!" Cora exclaimed. "I can see the bank!" She turned to the boys. "Let's go see what we can dig out" she turned on her heel and began walking not checking to see if they followed. Geordie and Sidney exchanged looks before chasing after her and falling into step beside her. 

They entered the bank not far from the end of the road and pulled the door open, stepping inside. The immediate warmth that consumed them felt pleasing and cora undone her coat. She turned and grabbed Sidney's arm. "Go up there and ask if you can see whatever the hell you decided to put in here"

"Why me?" 

"Because you're the one that put something in this place. Now go" she started to drag him up to the counter and he dug his heels in. " Wait - I don't know my surname." 

"'i'm sure they'll recognize you" she said disregarding his concerns. "Now get up there and ask"she pushed his forward and he stumbled over to the counter. 

"Excuse me? I think I left something here about 3 months ago" Sidney said. 

A man turned round and spotted him, his face breaking into a smile. "James Isnt it?" 

Sidney nodded. "Could I possibly get the stuff out I put here please?" 

"Sure. James Matthews isn't it?" The man said as he turned round and collected a key from the wall behind him that was hanging on a peg. "Do you want to follow me?" He asked as he came out from behind the counter and started to head down a corridor to their left. He nodded and indicated for cora and Geordie to follow. 

Shortly down the corridor they came to a small box. The man started to chat. "So where have you been? Haven't seen you round lately" 

"I've been - travelling" Sidney replied. 

The man nodded and entered the key into the keyhole, turning it round until it clicked. He opened it and allowed Sidney to come to it. He was hesitant at first. What was he going to find? He swallowed his fear and stepped up. He peered into it. Inside was a few pieces of paper, folded up and stuffed into envelopes. Along side it was a necklace labelled and also a diary of some sort with a piece of paper next to it. 

He reached inside with shaking hands and brought it all out one by one. 

"I'll leave you to it" the man said and headed back out to counter. 

"What is it?" Cora replied stepping forward. Geordie joined them. 

"Im not sure" he turned the envelopes around and studied the names printed on them. There was three of them. He handed Geordie the one with his name on and then placed the others back on the table. one of them had AMANDA printed on the front and the other had MRS MAGUIRE printed on it. 

"Are you sure this is your hand writing?" 

"You know it is geordie" Sidney replied, not looking at him. He picked up the necklace and searched for the label, finding it at the bottom. It was in small print and definitely was his handwriting. It read "whenever I see this again- keep in safe - it's needed to destroy the list. Don't destroy it" 

"Whats it say?" Cora said, standing on her tiptoes to peer over his shoulder. 

"I left myself a note" sidney said hoarsely. He let her take it from his fingers and he reached down, picking up the diary. He opened it randomly. The pages were full - in his messy handwriting with dates in the left top corners. The first one he looked at was dated 25th october 1953. He started to read it, eager to find out some information. 

'I don't know why I left Grantchester - at the moment I'm with an extremely kind family who are looking out for me. The daughters lovely. But im starting to think I should have never left. Things are starting to look complicated and I just can't solve any of this in my head. None of its making sense anymore. I don't even know why I'm writing all of this on paper - as if anyone from Grantchester will read it and answer. I don't know anymore. I want to go back - but how can i when I left without saying goodbye?' 

He turned a few pages and came to another date. 2nd November 1953. 

'Okay. I've left them. Im heading to London. Somewhere where they won't find me. I don't know these people but I know one thing -  
They're coming to get me.  
I'm writing this on a moving train. It's getting colder now and I'm tired. I didn't bring anything when I left. I'm so confused. I just want to go back home but I can't risk leading these people, whoever they are, to the vicarage.' 

He turned to the next page dated 6th November 1954. 

'They're gaining on me - I don't know what to do. I've found somewhere to stay. I miss Grantchester. I want to go back. No one will take me back though. I must have hurt them so badly. I miss you guys so much. I had to dye my hair today. I couldn't risk being seen. It's a dark black and so much shorter then normal. I hate it but Its better then being caught.......'

The next page he had only written three words. The date was smudged badly. 

'They've found me. '

He shut it quickly and dropped it to the floor, the sound echoing around the room. Geordie looked up from reading the letter. "You okay?" 

Sidney nodded, not allowing himself to speak. 

Geordie handed Sidney the letter. "Look at what you left me" 

Sidney shook his head. "You read it. I can't look at it"Sidney replied his voice sounding hoarse to his ears. 

Geordie sighed and cleared his throat. He started to read. "Geordie, if you end up getting this, maybe months or even years later then you'll know they've killed me. I tried to tell them I didn't have it but they won't believe me. If I'm not dead then maybe I'm somewhere- hiding probably. I don't want you to find me - it's too risky. Please don't show this to any of the others. I don't want to worry them. Could you do something for me?" Geordie started to squint at the paper and he looked up. "Sorry. It's a little smudged. You must have rushed this" 

"Keep going" cora urged. 

Geordie continued. "Go to Sam - I know you didn't exactly get on well with him from what happened with Abigail but please go to him. If you're in the bank in London then he lives round the corner from the bank. It's a small little flat. I've been staying there. He's been a great help. Go there and pick up something. I cant explain what it is - just in case this letter falls in the wrong hands. Just ask sam you've come to collect what I asked for and he'll give it to you. He doesn't expect me to be alive. I'm doing this all to protect you guys. I can't let them hurt any of you. That's why I left Grantchester. That's why I never came back. I'm sorry if i hurt any of you. It wasn't intentional. Also if you see Madeline - tell her im thankful for everything she did. " Geordie took in a breath. "Its signed by you" 

Sidneys eyes were bright with tears. "What was I doing? What was I thinking?" 

"Melissa was right. " Cora said gently. "You're in danger." 

"From who? This isn't some spy film we're in. " Sidney replied sarcastically. "This is real and I can't think of anyone I would be hiding from" 

"Well whoever it was - you didn't think you would survive" Geordie stated. 

Sidney turned away from them, trying to keep his emotions at bay but it wasn't working. Tears wanted to fall, tears of frustration or maybe sadness or even fear. He didn't know and he was to exhausted to stop them. They soon started to track down his cheeks and he pulled hus hand up, wiping us sleeve across his eyes. "Something bad is happening - and I don't know what it is" 

Geordie and cora must have sensed the sudden change in his voice, maybe it sounded diluted by tears, either way they knew and came to stand behind him. They both placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Cora spoke first. "All this will help us understand better what was going on. We're going to help you. You're not alone Sidney." She let go of his shoulder and grabbed his hand squeezing tightly. Sidney turned round and raised his eyes to her. "We'll help you Sidney. We promise" 

He nodded. "Sorry - it's just got a bit much. Im more frightened then I'd like to admit. All of this - it just doesn't make sense." 

"I know" cora soothed. "I know" she continued to hold is hand, partly for his comfort and partly for her own. 

He breathed in deeply a few times and then turned round to face them, face of determination. He shoved the letters and necklace in his pocket and picked the diary up from the floor and placing it into his bag. 

"Whats that?" Geordie asked, indicating towards the diary as Sidney put it away. 

"A diary. I've written in it" Sidney replied. "All dated. I haven't had a good look yet ...." 

Cora turned to him. "A diary? In your handwriting?" 

He nodded. 

"That will help us better with an insight of what happened" 

"Hmm" a pause then "I know our next move" he started to walk back out of the bank. The others follows behind him. 

"Whats that?" Geordie replied. 

As they left the bank Sidney turned back round to face them, the wind blowing at that moment pushing his hair across his eyes. "We go to Sam's. See what else he can tell us"


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney, Cora and Geordie question Sam on what happened during the three months Sidney was missing ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers! As you may have noticed updating regularly to make up for the time I'll be missing as I go on holiday for two weeks in two weeks so won't be updating over that time.  
> I hope you're all still enjoying it! :)

Geordie started to protest but Sidney interrupted him. "He was someone that had seen me- he knows what I need to give to you in case I -died. Don't you think he knows quite a lot about what happened?" 

"Sidney's right" cora agreed. "This sam knows a lot. Probably a whole lot more then we thought we'd find out" 

"Alright. Alright. I suppose that makes sense" 

"Which way did I say he lived in?" Sidney asked, turning to Geordie who took the letter out of his back pocket and opened it up. He scanned it down until he came to the part. "Round the corner from here" 

" So that way" cora pointed out. They started to walk round, forgetting about how cold it was - a new mission on their hands keeping the adrenaline going. They came to a small little flat, hidden away from all the passers-by going shopping or heading to work. 

"Perfect setting for him" Geordie said, a hint of sarcasticness thick in his voice. Sidney chose to ignore him and knocked on the door. He was discomforted to find his hand shaking as he reached up to knock. 

Silence filled the air until cora broke it. "Maybe he's not in" 

"Maybe" Sidney replied.

"Do you recognize any of this?" Cora asked him, looking at him in the face. He shook his head. 

"I dont think he's in" Geordie said. "Let's go"

As they turned to go the door suddenly opened and a bleary eyed sam was standing in the doorway. "What?" He said , then realising who it was and blinked rapidly, clearing the sleepiness from his eyes. "Sidney?" 

Sidney nodded.

"What you doing back here? It's not safe for you" sam said urgently, looking around. 

"Who's after him do you know?" Cora asked, stepping round Sidney so sam could see her clearly. 

"He knows who's after him." Sam replied. "He saw them. Jeez, they nearly killed you! I thought they had!" 

"Who nearly killed him?" Geordie asked. 

Suddenly the realisation hit him. "Something's happened? That's why you're asking questions isn't it?" 

"Something like that." Geordie answered."could we come in? It would be better talking inside then out here"

"Oh yeah. That's true" sam scanned both ways of the road and then nodded, hurrying then inside and slamming the door shut. He showed them the way into the front room speaking as he went. "So where have you been? I thought I was never going to see you again. That's what you led me to believe" 

"It's complicated" Sidney replied, thinking it was more complicated then he was letting on. How was he going to explain all of this? 

"Whats complicated?"

"Why I'm back" Sidney replied.

"And who's this?" Sam indicated towards cora. "I never saw her round Grantchester." 

"That's because she isnt from there. She's from Bristol" Sidney replied. 

"I found him" cora added. 

"Found him?" He responded, looking from her to Sidney and back. "Im confused. Whats gone on Sidney?"

He opened his mouth to respond but then closed it again. He opened it again and was relieved when words escaped his lips. "I was found unconscious by cora - sam " he stepped closer to him. "I can't remember what I did when I left Grantchester. I can't remember three whole months of my life. I don't even remember who's after me or why I'm in danger" 

"How do you know you were here?" 

Cora interrupted."he's been having ... flashbacks. Remembering bits and pieces. Not a lot but enough to know he went to London. Also a woman who he had stayed with in the first two weeks of his departure said he said he was going to London. We came here to see what we could dig out" she explained. 

Digging out a bit more then why they had bargained for, Sidney thought to himself. 

"So you don't remember nothing?" Sam said. "Nothing at all - our conversations - the fight. Nothing?" 

Sidney shook his head. "Nothing. We went to the bank - came across letters I had left for people. I had mentioned you in one of them - saying you knew what had happened and what I wanted to collect" 

Sam nodded slowly. "I remember you telling me something like that. " 

"Could you explain please why I was here? What i did? " Sidney asked, an edge to his voice. 

Sam sighed. "You came to me around the 10th November. You were bleeding , previously been beaten or tortured I didn't know which. You said you had found out I was here. I let you in and helped clean you up while you explained in tears what had happened. After you had spoken and was all cried out you fell asleep, I had no intention of moving you. You're my friend have been through theology school" he looked up at Sidney but his expression was blank, staring at the floor. Sam continued. "I let you stay here - you said you were hiding from someone. We argued a little once you had healed probably but you forgave me for what happened and we were friends again. Almost like how we were 6 or 7 years ago" 

"Did you ever see these people who were after him?" Geordie asked. "Was one of these called Anka by any chance?" 

Sam nodded. "That was only one. There was a few. " 

"How long did he stay for?" Cora asked, once again notebook at hand. 

"About two or three weeks" sam replied. "What is this ? Some sort of police questioning?" 

"We're trying to find out what happened to him. Piece things together" Geordie replied. He looked towards Sidney who still hadn't moved and was still looking at the floor. "Sidney?" 

Sidney slowly shook his head and then looked up at sam. "Can you tell me everything? Everything that I did. And when -" 

"Did he dye his hair" Geordie asked, amazement tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

"Everything? Wow that's long. I don't know how to explain everything. I gave you a highlight" 

"Everything sam" Sidney insisted. "Please - I want to know what I was doing - my intentions - everything" 

Sam sighed. "Fine. Just - sit down though. It's all edgy everyone standing up like this" 

They all sat down,grateful to actually be sitting after so many hours of walking around a freezing cold town as if on parade. 

"Like I said you came to mine out of the blue all bloody and distressed....."  
~~~~~~~~~~  
THREE MONTHS AGO - 10th November 1953 

furious pounding sounded at the door causing Sam to jump.he stood up and hurried to the door answering it. "Hello?" 

Sidney stood in front of him. He was panting breathlessly and his face was covered in bruises and some blood where the skin had broken. 

"Sidney?" Sam said in disbelief. "What on earth happened?" 

Sidney started to shake vigorously and started to speak fast, words tumbling out. "Someone told me where to find you - you were my only hope. I've only just escaped" 

"Escaped who?" 

Sidney started to sway dangerously and Sam caught him, bringing him into the house and shutting the door, locking it just in case whoever was after his friend found them. He helped sit him down and handed him something strong to drink. 

"What's happened?" Sam asked. Now they were in the light of the house he could tell how bad Sidney looked. Every inch of Sidney's face was covered in bruises. His shirt was ripped a little - beneath it more bruises. "What happened?" He said with more urgency. 

Sidney shook his head. "It's complicated" 

Sam shook his head. "I'm not hearing that - you turn up on my doorstep - somewhere where you're not supposed to know - bleeding and bruised up and all you can say is it's complicated?" Sam shook his head. "Nope. I'm sorry. I need more then that Sidney" 

"They're after me Sam. " Sidney said. 

" I don't know who you're talking about" he sighed and got up, returning minutes later with a bowl of hot water and some cloth. He set it down. "You going to do this or do I have too?" 

Sidney shook his head and pointed to himself. " I can" he started to dab at his face gently with the cloth and winced. 

"What Happened?" 

"They're after me" 

"Who?" 

"People" Sidney's eyes gleamed with tears as he started to remember. He shook his head softly. "It's not safe to go back to Grantchester" 

"Why?" 

"It's not. They'll follow me- hurt others there" Sidney replied, his voice now thick with emotion. Tears started to slip down his cheek and the cloth slipped from his fingers. "I couldn't stop it. They'll want me more then ever now" 

"Sidney you're not making any sense" Sam said, picking up the cloth and dipped it in the water , starting to clean the blood from his face that Sidney hadn't got rid of yet. 

Sobs now rose from Sidney, his hands shaking. "I couldn't do anything" 

"You're not making sense" Sam said. "Listen - let me call someone for you okay?" He got up to call but he didn't know who. He leaned his head against the wall and tried to think through the confusion of this situation. Finally he pushed himself away and turned back to Sidney. "It turns out I can't call anyone - is there another suggestion we could try-" he stopped mid sentence. Sidney was fast asleep in the chair he had put him in. None of this was making sense, he needed answers. He shook his head. He'll let him sleep- he deserved that much at least.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
PRESENT 

"Then after that you just stayed with me. You never really mentioned much to me about what happened except about this woman. I can't remember the name" 

"Anka" Geordie said. "Her names anka" 

"Yes." He cleared his throat. "So I don't know much more then that" 

Sidney sat forward on the chair. "Did I give you anything? It says in the letter I gave you something? Something that these could collect?" 

Sam didn't respond at first but started to fidget. He looked away from Sidney. 

"Sam? What is it? You still have it right?" Sidney asked, leaning closer. 

Sam avoided eye contact with him. "I did have it" 

"Did?" 

He nodded. "But - shortly after you gave it to me it was stolen" 

"Seriously? Stolen?" Geordie snorted and started to mutter things that didn't sound pleasant under his breath. Sidney nudged him with his elbow. "What do you mean it was stolen?" 

"I left one day to go somewhere - I came back with the flat smashed up. They hadn't taken nothing but what you gave to me" Sam replied. 

"Do you know what it was?" Sidney asked. 

Sam shook his head. "You told me not to look until I had too. I put it safely away until you or someone else came to claim it" 

"Well it obviously wasn't put safely away then if some one stole it" Geordie answered, sarcastically. 

Sidney elbowed him again. "Stop" 

"He's right Sidney. I should have made sure it was kept hidden. That why they wouldn't have got it. You said it was important. To everything about the situation you were in" 

Sidney sighed and brushed his hand through his hair. "Did I tell you what it was?" 

Sam shook his head. 

Sidney gave a frustrated sigh and stood up, beginning to pace, hands repeatedly brushing through his hair. "Well this is it then isn't it? It comes to an end. We were close to learning some information about what I was doing in London and now it's come to an end. I'm never going to know what I did am I?" 

"This isn't over yet Sidney" Cora said, confidence in her voice. "We will find out what happened Sidney. We're not going to give up" 

"How? It's over. He doesn't know anything. This is where it all led us and with no new information what else are we going to do?" Sidney replied. 

"We're not going to give up Sidney" Geordie said quietly. "Something will come along soon. I'm sure of it" 

Sidney sighed and stood pacing, bringing his hands down. "And if nothing comes along?" 

"It will" Geordie replied firmly. "And when it does we'll look into it" 

"You seriously can't remember anything?" Sam asked. 

Sidney came back to sit down and shook his head, his expression flat, eyes avoiding eye contact. 

"Well" Sam stood up. "I hope you remember everything. Time is your healer Sidney." He patted his back and he walked off. 

Sidney grunted. 

"Well thank you for the information" Cora stood up, extending her hand, taking Sam's and shaking it. 

"You're not working for the FBI" Sidney rolled his eyes. "No need for hand shaking" 

"I'm being polite" Cora replied smiling. She let his hand go. "We should be going. We were meant to have checked into our hotel over two hours ago" 

"I'll walk you guys over there" Sam offered getting his coat. 

They entered the outside. Darkness had already settled meaning it was mid afternoon already (considering darkness fell around 4 or 5) the streets were quiet, not many people wondering round. The wind was certainly colder causing them to hold their coats closer to themselves. 

Sidney fell behind them, thoughts interrupting his state of mind. His head hurt from all the over thinking he was doing, he just wanted to sleep. 

Sam noticed Sidney falling behind so he turned round and fell into step next to him. "How did the archdeacon take it when you turned up?" He glanced briefly at the others and then back at Sidney. "When you were with me you said you didn't want to go back for two reasons. One because of not wanting to bring danger to the others and two because the archdeacon would kill you for disappearing without word" 

Sidney glanced up at the others as well and then his glaze fell towards Sam again. "He was mad. Real mad. Threatened to move me from Grantchester- even threatened to put me back into theology school that way as he put it 'I'll be out of trouble and also be relearning the rules all over again'" Sidney sighed. "That wasn't even part of it though." 

"Did he go red in the face like normal when he's angry?" Sam asked, a hint of mischief in his eyes. 

Sidney smiled. "You bet! He were so red i thought he would explode!" The smile faded from his face as he turned serious again. "But that wasn't all he did" 

"What else?" 

"Brought up all the previous problems he had with me from back when we were students." Sidney stared straight ahead at the others backs as they walked. 

Sam didn't respond. He didn't know how. He stopped and grabbed Sidney's arm. "Don't worry about all of that. That was in the past and doesn't define who you are now. He's always been an arse. Don't listen to a word he says" 

Sidney smiled slightly. "Suppose I already have" he started to walk forward again. 

Sam hurried to catch him up. "You're not thinking of leaving Grantchester are you?" 

Sidney shrugged. "I dunno. I need a fresh start. Somewhere where I can start over and not be known as the vicar who disappeared for three months. I just need to start a fresh. After everything's that happened" 

"No one would think that-" 

"Oh believe me. They've already began their rumours" 

"Wait " Sam pulled him to a stop. "You haven't gone back to church yet have you?" 

The guilty look on Sidney's face was answer enough. 

"Why?" 

Sidney sighed. "I just can't deal with it - I really can't. Not yet" 

"Why?" 

"Because I can't Sam" Sidney started to walk away again but he gripped his arm for a second time. "Sam. I don't want to talk about this right now" 

Sam reluctantly let him go. "Fine. But - I'll be checking on you in a phone call to see if you've gone" 

"I could just lie - to get you off my back" Sidney answered as they began walking. 

"I'll ask someone else then" 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah" a pause. Then " have you spoken to him yet about your thoughts on leaving?" Sam indicated towards Geordie. 

"No I haven't" Sidney admitted. "But please don't tell him yet. I still need time to think" 

"Well if you do plan to go then - tell him" 

Sidney nodded. 

"What are you two gossiping about back there?" Cora interrupted. 

"Nothing" they both said in unison. 

Cora turned around looking at Sam. "Do you know which way is quicker to the hotel? It's freezing out here" 

Sam pointed down a back street. "That ways quicker. " 

"Let's try it then" 

They turned of the Main Street and headed down the back street, none speaking for a while. The eerie sound of silence was too quiet for them and they subconsciously kept looking behind them. 

"This feels weird and creepy" Cora said. 

"It's fine. Just keep going. We're nearly there" Sam replied. 

As they turned the corner they saw some people hanging round by a wall of a house, standing there. They saw them and pushed away from the wall, starting to walk towards them. 

"Do you know them?" Geordie muttered to Sam. 

"Nope don't think so" 

As they got closer they could see what they were wearing. They were all in black. Sidney recognised something about them. There was something familiar ... 

"Oh shit!" Sam suddenly exclaimed. "That's them. The ones that were after Sidney! Quick go!" 

Cora and Geordie immediately turned around and started to walk back, fast. 

Sidney stood still, sort of like in a trance. Sam grabbed his arm and turned him round. "Go!" He urged. 

They started to run. Sam turned round briefly, the people in black were running after them. "Keep going" 

They ran down the streets, the silence of before being interrupted by the sounds of heavy pounding of feet as they ran. 

"Where do we go?" Cora exclaimed in between breaths. 

"Down there" Sam said. 

They turned abruptly and ran down, Sidney turned to check if they were following. "They're gaining on us!" 

They pounded round the corner , jumping over stuff on the way. "We need to lose them" Geordie shouted. 

Sidney started to say something when he suddenly tripped over landing hard on his arm, pain engulfing him. He scrambled up, immediately feeling pain shoot up his right ankle but he had to keep going. The others weren't in sight, he didn't know which way they had turned. The people behind him were gaining up on him So he started to run faster. With each step he took it caused more pain to shoot up his ankle however he didn't stop. He had to keep going.He turned round a corner quickly, realising it was a dead end and backed up into the corner, praying they wouldn't find him. He watched them pass him, heart thumping wildly. 

He heard his name being called. Fainter at first. It sounded like Geordie. 

He started to walk towards the opening, heart beating faster. He heard his name called again and started to walk faster to the opening out on to the street, he peaked round the corner to the left looking down the street. 

Something came down hard on his head and he felt himself fall just as he heard his name being called from the left of him faintly as the world tumbled into darkness.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is taken to hospital and the others find something that could be the answer to some of the questions they have about Sidney's disappearance ...

"I thought he was behind you" 

"No, I thought he was with you"

"Shit!" Geordie said, turning round in circles. "Where could he have gone?" 

"We need to find him Geordie" Cora said, fear now in her voice. "We don't know what they're capable off" 

"Oh they're capable of a lot" Sam said, anger in his voice. "I saw what they did to him. I think it was them that did it to Sidney the first time. I know they caught him the second time" 

Geordie swore. "Come on. We need to find him" 

They started to run back the way they came, looking down the dark paths leading to other places, trying to find him. "Sidney!" Geordie cried. 

"Shh! You might bring them to us" Sam hissed. 

"So? Better then with Sidney don't you think?" Geordie snapped back.

Sam didn't argue back and kept quiet. 

"Sidney!" Geordie cried again. 

"He's not answering" Cora cried. She tripped over and fell hard to the floor. "Oh" she exclaimed in surprise as she went down. Geordie turned back round and helped her back up. She brushed her dress down and then admistered to the cuts she had going down her arm. 

"Do you want to see to that first?" Geordie asked. 

Cora shook her head. "It's just a scrape. Better then what they might be doing to Sidney" 

"We ran through this didn't we?" Sam said, looking round. "we did didn't we?" 

Geordie nodded. "So? what you getting at?"

"We last saw Sidney round here with us. He must have tripped like what Cora had done, lost sight of us and ran down -" he turned round and pointed down a narrow pathway in darkness. "Here" 

Geordie looked down the path and nodded. "Come on then" 

They started to run down there , heavy short breaths coming from each of them. The adrenaline running through their veins was the only thing that was keeping them going against the wind that had turned bitter. 

"Sidney!" Geordie cried, the wind taking it from his lips as a gust of wind blew bitterly through the air. "Come on. Where are you?" He muttered to himself. 

They could faint raised voices coming from the left of them and they all shared a look. They started to walk as quietly as possible in the direction of voices. The wind gave another strong blow throughout the air and the first drops of rain started to fall. That didn't stop them as they continued to walk. The only disadvantage of the rain was all they could hear was the rain hitting the floor and not the voices. They quickened the pace and called out again. "Sidney!"

"They've gone!" Cora cried. "Oh what are we going to do!" 

"They couldn't have just gone" Geordie said, feeling his heart sink. "Come on" 

They started to run down the streets, eager to find them but not a person was in sight along the quiet roads. The rain was falling heavier, causing the streets to become slippery. Each step they took their hope died out a little more. 

"Can you hear that?" Sam asked. 

"Hear what?" 

"An Engine"  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"Idiot! Now he'll be harder to transport!" 

"Just throw him into the back of the van" 

"How Emily! How!" A man screeched. "Tha vans round the back of the street." 

"Well someone can drive it round" 

"That will grab attention" the man said again. 

"Not if you do it slowly" 

"Well fine you got us into this mess.... You can go and get the van!" The sound of a hand hiring flesh echoed across the streets as the woman squealed in pain before hurrying off. 

"Now- what to do with you?" The man smiled Evilly. 

"Harry. I can hear someone shouting his name" 

Harry strained his ears to Listen just as rain started to pour. Sure enough in the distance they could hear the boys name being called. "We need to hurry"

Just then the van came hurdling round the corner, coming to a halt next to the others. She jumped out, her feet splashing into a puddle near the side of the road. "Shall we move him?" 

"Open the door" Harry agreed, indicating towards the door. 

Sidney's senses started to come to him, his head throbbed from the pain that invaded his skull. He could hear voices and the sound of an engine and started to push up off the floor where he had landed. 

"Not so fast" Harry hissed, grabbing Sidney up off the floor. "Get in the van" 

Sidney shook his head. 

"You get in or I'll throw you in" Harry hissed into his ear. 

when Sidney didn't react he grabbed him by the collar and pulled him towards the van as Emily opened the door. Something clicked inside of him and he started to fight against them, kicking and punching out in directions- trying to get away. He kicked out behind him, catching Harry in the shin who, caught in surprise, let go of him. Sidney made an escape but with a head injury and a painful ankle he didn't get far before someone else threw themselves towards him, knocking them both to ground. Sidney rolled over trapping the person underneath him but with an injured arm also his strength was fast going and soon the other man over powered him, rolling over pinning Sidney down to the floor, trapping his legs and arms. 

"Get of me!" He cried. 

"No such luck" the man replied. 

Sidney couldn't see much of his face as it was mostly covered. The rain was falling much heavier now. "Get of me! Geordie!" He cried to the sky trying to fight against this man and catch whoever else was out there, their attention. "Sam!" 

The man placed his hand over Sidney's mouth, silencing his cries. "Shut it!" 

"Get him into the van, dorsen!" Harry cried. "We need to go" 

"Sidney!" Someone cried much nearer now. "Sidney! Where are you!"

Sidney started to scream to catch their attention, but dorsen placed his hand tighter over his mouth, pushing down. "Shut it!" 

"Dorsen! Get him up and into the van!" Harry urged. 

"If we get up!, He'll start screaming" 

"Well tie this over his mouth" Harry cried throwing him a tie. "Let's move!" 

Dorsen slid of Sidney and pulled him up, hand still clamped over his mouth. He moved his hand quickly and picked up the tie. 

"Geord-" he started to cry before dorsen placed the tie roughly into his mouth pulling it tight before tying it up. Dorsen grabbed his arm and pulled him up roughly, shoving him towards the van. 

"Sidney!" 

Harry and dorsen turned round to the sound of the voice. Geordie, Cora and Sam where standing a little further away from them. 

"Get him into the van NOW!" Harry screamed.

Sidney put up a fight again to buy time. But dorsen was stronger and overpowered him. 

"Let him go now!" Geordie shouted towards them. He started to run towards them and dorsen gripped Sidney tighter. 

"Or what?" Harry said, making sure his face was covered. 

Sidney kicked out and caught dorsen in the shin , hard, causing him to let him go. 

"Oh shit! We've lost him. You idiot!" Harry cried. 

Then what happened next seemed to go in slow motion. Harry pulled out a hand gun from his back pocket and aimed it towards Sidney. He didn't have time to react as Harry pulled the trigger. He felt himself fall but couldn't feel any pain. 

"Let's go" Harry said quickly. "We'll be back" they all climbed into the van and sped off, the squeal of the wheels against the floor. 

"You're not hit?" Sam said with urgency in his voice and he sat up. 

Sidney shook his head, realising why he hadn't felt any pain from the bullet that was fired towards him. Sam had pushed him out of the way. His eyes opened wide as he sat up. 

"I'm not hit either. Bullet went wide" Sam assured him. 

Sidney relaxed a little but his head, leg and arm were all taking away his attention on the situation. Geordie knelt down to him and undid the tie that was in his mouth, throwing it away. "What happened? Why weren't you with us?" 

"I tripped" Sidney replied flatly. "By the time I had gotten myself back up I couldn't see you guys so I ran in any direction to get away" 

"Told you" Sam said. 

Geordie raised his eyebrows at him and turned his attention on Sidney. "Are you alright?" He asked, concern edged in his voice as he noticed Sidney's hands were shaking. 

Sidney nodded. "I'm alright. Just a shock" 

"Come on. Let's get to the hotel" Geordie said gently. 

Sidney stood up, Sam helping him. He let him go and Sidney took a step forward but pain invaded his ankle and he fell back to the floor, his head swimming. 

"Sidney? What's wrong?" Geordie asked, again worry creasing his forehead. 

"My ankle. " Sidney groaned. 

"Can you walk on it?" 

Sidney shook his head, but regretted it when spots filled his vision and the ground rushed up to meet him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Will he be okay?" 

"The ankle will heal in a few weeks, it's badly sprained. The arm is broken and will heal in about a month" 

"What about the head wound?" 

"He has concussion. It should take a couple of days to clear up. In the mean time I would like him to stay here for a few days where we can keep an eye on him. "

"He's not going to like that" Geordie sighed. 

Sidney gave a groan as his senses became clearer and Murmurs of voices crystallised into proper words. He moaned again as he turned his head and opened his eyes. At first the world seemed a mass of blurred colours. He blinked his eyes repeatedly until the mass of colours crystallised into people around him. Cora was the first to notice and her face lit up as she came to sat on the edge of the bed. "Hey. It's about time you woke up" 

Sidney blinked up at her. "What happened? Where am I?" 

"In the hospital" Cora replied. "You passed out and we learned you had been hit hard on the head. We thought the hospital would be the best bet for you" 

The nurse that was standing beside the bed also, grabbed his wrist gently and started to time his pulse. His head felt like someone was banging a hammer inside of his head. In truth, he felt tired.

"Your pulse is a little irregular but nothing but a few days rest and some medicine should cure" the nurse smiled and bustled away with her clipboard. 

Sidney sighed and struggled to sit up. Immediately hands came to help him sit up and leaned him against the pillows. He smiled gratefully at Geordie, his voice seemingly having deserted him. 

"You gave us quite a scare you did" Geordie said, patting Sidney's shoulder. 

"How?" Sidney said. his throat felt like sandpaper. Cora reached up to the glass of water on the table next to them and held it out to Sidney who took it with his left hand and took a few sips, soothing his raw throat. 

"You disappeared once Sidney" Geordie said. "We're not planning on losing you again" 

Sidney looked down at his hands, his face growing warm. "Sorry- I got lost like I said" 

"What exactly did happen when they caught up to you?" 

Sidney shrugged. "I woke up on the floor- they hit me from behind. As you can see" he briefly pointed up to his head. "The next thing they tried getting me into the van, I kicked one of them" he frowned and blinked a few times. It was obvious his concussion was troubling him. "I made a run for it but another one caught up with me - he pushed me to the ground - him following on behind" he rubbed his head with his left hand. " he pinned me down and then ahhh- " he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. 

"You okay?" Geordie asked worryingly. 

"Everywhere hurts" he said, eyes still squeezed shut. He took in another few deep breaths and opened his eyes again. His eyes were slightly unfocused now. 

"Can you carry on?" 

Sidney nodded, taking in a breath. "I remember I started screaming- he didn't like it and tied a tie in my mouth. You know the rest" he closed his eyes again. "Do you know why I'm in here?" 

"You sprained your ankle when you tripped we presume" Sam answered for the first time since Sidney woke up. "Your right arm is also broken. You already know about your concussion" 

Pain was starting to rob Sidney off concentration of what everyone was saying. He looked tired to Geordie. "Shall we get a nurse?" 

Sidney shook his head. "I'd rather be at the hotel. Why bring me here?" 

"Because you didn't wake up after you passed out" Cora said quietly, taking his hand in hers. "You had gone unconscious. Something that was worth worrying about - specially after the last head wound you had when I found you" 

Sidney didn't know how to respond to that. In truth, he was glad he had friends who cared and worried about him. "Can we leave yet?" 

"We can"Geordie indicated to the three of them. "You can't" 

"Why?" 

"Because they want to closely monitor you. A re- injury can be fatal" Geordie reminded him. 

Sidney rolled his eyes. This wasn't at all what he had in mind when Cora had first announced they should go to London. This wasn't planned at all. He didn't want to spend any precious time in hospital. Nothing. He argued at first with them however Geordie finally managed to talk him into staying at the hospital. His argument being "you need rest. You're not going to be any use dead on your feet" 

"Well now what are we going to do?" Sidney moaned. "I've messed everything up" 

"No you haven't" Cora replied, squeezing his hand. 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Seriously Sidney" she said seriously. "We'll see what else we can dig out. " 

"What can I do?" 

The nurse came back into the room. "Times up. Your friend needs to rest and take his medicine" 

Cora stood up from the bed, brushing out the creases in her skirt. "You get better Sidney. That's your task right now. Get better" she leaned down and kissed his cheek before brushing his hair from his face and turning to go. 

"We'll see you tomorrow Sidney" Geordie promised. 

Sidney nodded, suddenly feeling woozy as the medicine was injected into him- causing him to feel sleepy. Before they had left the room he had fallen asleep. 

"He'll be fine" the nurse assured them. She urged them go firmly and shut the door. 

With nothing better to do they headed out of the hospital each pondering their next step of what to do. 

"What shall we do now?" Cora asked. 

"Let's go back to the scene where we saw them. " Geordie decided, setting on in that direction. Core ran to catch up. She came to stand up in from of him. "Isn't that dangerous?" 

"I don't care about my own safety. If you don't want to I understand but I'm going. I want to find out why they're tracking Sidney down" 

"No I'm going" Cora said firmly. "But shouldn't we really check in to the hotel?" 

" that isn't my main priority right now. Especially what's happened in the last 2 hours" Geordie replied. 

"I say we go" Sam added. 

Both turned to look at him. "Since when were you part of this?" Geordie asked. Now Sidney wasn't here he let his dislike for the guy show throughly. 

"Err I was a part of this since you came knocking at my door in the afternoon to where you weren't meant to know" he snapped back. "Besides Sidney's my friend. Friends stick together" 

"Well that wasn't exactly your motor last year when you got a 15 year old pregnant!" Geordie snapped angrily back. 

"That's not the point" Sam shouted back. "Sidney's my friend. I helped him before through difficult times and I'm planning on doing that again." He moved closer towards Geordie. 

"Oh yeah sure" Geordie replied sarcastically, moving closer. 

"Stop it!" Cora cried moving to stand between them, either hand stretched out towards both of them. "Both of you shouting at eachother isn't going to help present matters! Just get on with eachother for Sidney's sake!" 

"He got a 15 year old pregnant!" 

Cora raised alarmed eyebrows at Sam before screwing up her face in anger. "It doesn't matter! I don't need details! You are both Sidney's friend. You both want to help him. For once just focus on one thing and that's helping him! Ignore all the tat you have between eachother and work together!" 

"Fine" Geordie replied. He turned away and started to walk in the direction of where they had come from. "Now- let's go see if we can dig up some information shall we?"  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"I think they were a bit clumsy" Cora said, picking up a piece of paper from the side of the road. They were back at the scene where Sidney had got attacked. "Hey. You two - come look at this" 

Geordie and Sam came to stand beside her , peering at the piece of paper. "What is it?" Sam asked. 

"I'm not sure" Cora said, rubbing her hand over it to get rid of the dirt that covered it. She peered closer to it. "Looks more like some sort of code to me" 

"Lemme see" Geordie said, taking it from her. After a minute of studying it he gave it back to her. "That doesn't make sense. Why carry a code?" 

"Do you know what type of code it is?" Cora asked, handing it to Sam who took it. 

Geordie shook his head. "I don't recognise it. But if it was important why leave it behind?" 

"Because they thought we might come back to see what we can find?" Cora replied. 

"Maybe or maybe-" he was cut of by a soft snort of a laugh. He whipped round to the source of the noise. 

"You should listen to the girl detective. She's a smart girl" the guy, Harry, from before was standing about 3 feet of them- and he wasn't alone. 

"Why did you come back?" Geordie asked, hiding the piece of paper scrunched up in his hand. 

"I could ask you the same question" Harry replied. "Oh wait - I suppose I already know the answer. So you can find clues on why we're trying to get that boy of yours" 

"Why come and admit it? To us?" 

"You're a policeman I know" Harry replied, walking closer. "You see - we need information on Sidney. We knew you'd come back." 

"How?" 

"Simple as. You all care about him. You want to find out what happened to him those three months" Harry answered, his face breaking into an evil grin. 

"You know what happened?" Cora asked, stepping round Geordie. 

Harry shrugged. "Who cares what happened. Now to business. I want that list. Give it back now" 

"go to hell" Geordie replied. "On three" he muttered to the Cora and Sam so the others couldn't hear. "We run" he took the piece of paper from his first and looked towards the others. 

"That's it" Harry encouraged. "Hand it over" 

"And if I don't?" 

"We'll kill your boy" 

"What happened to the on three?" Sam muttered. Geordie ignored him. 

"If I give you that piece of paper what does that mean for Sidney?" 

"We'll leave him and forget all commands. Please" Harry said, holding his hand out. 

"I don't believe you" 

"Just give it back to us." 

"Why are you after him? Who's assigned you?" Cora asked. 

"We can't say. But someone is. Someone who knows him well" Harry replied. "I'm done talking. Give it to me" 

"Was it you that was after him in November?" 

"No." Harry replied. "And that's the truth. The person we're working for has many. Now hand it over" 

"What's so important about it?" Geordie asked. 

"You don't understand. That code in your hand - is the answer to all of your questions." Harry said. " and we'll like it back now" 

"Not a chance. Thanks for the information. GO!" Geordie cried, clenching the piece of paper into his fist again. 

They turned and belted down the street as fast as their legs could carry them in the direction of the hotel taking back streets to lose them. 

"Hey! Come back here!" 

"If anyone's interested they're still following!" Cora cried. 

"Down there!" Sam pointed out and they turned and hid in a crack in the wall - enough to hide three people. They pressed up against the wall- hearts pounding- eager ears hearing for the sound of pounding feet. Finally feet started to pound in their direction and they held their breaths. 

"Where did they go?" 

"We lost them! We need that code! Come on- let's get of here!" 

Feet pounded away from them , gradually becoming fainter. Finally when they could no longer hear it they let themselves release the breath they hadn't realised they had been holding in. 

"Have they gone?" Cora asked, breathing heavily peering round Geordie. 

"They've gone." 

"What was all that? We thought you were going to give them that list" Sam said as they stepped back out onto the street. 

"Im not stupid. I had questions" 

"Yeah? We could have just run and left" 

Geordie shook his head. "You're no good at this are you?" Then he muttered to himself "At least Sidney would have understood" he turned to Sam. "Listen closely- they were after this" he held up the piece of paper. "As long as it was in my hand and it looked like I was wavering about handing it over to them they would answer questions so long as I was gonna hand it over to them after" 

"But you didn't" 

"You really don't understand this do you?" Geordie said in disbelief. 

"Oh shut up. Let's look at this code. Let's see if we can crack it" Cora took it from his hands and peered at it closer. "It's numbers" 

"What are they?" 

"There's loads. Along with symbols I don't understand" 

"Let's get back and see what we can crack" Geordie concluded. 

 

Two hours later they were stumped. They had gone over all possible theories and none of them seemed to go with the symbols. 

"They could be secret code messages?" Cora said. She was laying flat on her back- hands across her chest, hair loose over the floor. 

"What like morse code?" Sam said. He was sitting across from cora by the wall. 

"It doesn't look like morse code. " Geordie replied. He glazed at it again before looking at the time. "We should call it a night. It's nearly midnight " 

"I'm not stopping until we figure this out" Cora replied, getting on to her elbows and laying on her stomach. "Give it to me" 

Geordie obeyed and handed it to her, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. 

"The first 6 parts are numbers. What could they be?" Cora asked. 

"Numbers as in phone numbers?" Sam suggested. 

Cora shook her head. "Too short." 

"Door numbers?" Geordie suggested. 

"Maybe. That's a possibility." Cora said. She stifled a yawn behind her hand. 

"Come on. Let's do this in the morning. Or whenever" Geordie said getting up. 

"I suppose you right" Cora sighed , pushing up from the floor. "Maybe Sidney might know?" 

"We'll have to ask him - but not now. Wait till he's recovered" Geordie said. 

"Hmmm okay. Maybe he might know some-" she suddenly stopped, eyes wide. 

"What? What is it?" Geordie asked. 

"That diary. " Cora said. "Maybe it has something in there! Maybe if can help us figure these out" 

"What diary?" 

"Sidney's. You know the one we took from the bank. He had written in it. There might be some clues - some linking towards these codes" 

"Cora. You might be onto something" Geordie replied. "Let's get some sleep first though. Its now midnight. And after today's events I would like to sleep. I'm not getting any younger" 

"I suppose your right" she replied, sighing. "Not about you getting any younger" she replied hastily when she saw Geordies reaction. 

"I know- I'm teasing. Come on- we'll work faster when boosted up with a good nights sleep" 

"Agreed"


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is discharged from hospital and yet again - tempers bubble to the surface ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for late update. I was meant to have posted a new chapter on the 20th july before I went away the next day but I never got round to it. This chapter may be a bit rubbish (sorry) I've been adding bits to it over a long time and i keep forgetting my thoughts on it. Next chapter will definitely be better that's a promise!  
> Enjoy!

"This was a complete waste of time" 

"Not completely Sidney." 

Sidney looked towards Geordie, eyes questioning. "How is this not a waste of time?" 

"We found items in the bank. And we find out someone who was trying to kidnap you. That has to be something Sidney" 

Sidney threw him a look. "And guess where that landed me in" 

"Look on the bright side. You're leaving today" Geordie replied. 

"Yeah after a few days of pain and hell" 

Geordie let Sidney's anger slide past. He knew he was only feeling that way because his head was still paining him a little. He didn't like to be kept detained in one room. But it had to be done. 

The nurse entered from the right, starting to pull a curtain round. 

"You letting me go today?" 

The nurse smiled. "Yes. I just want to make sure that everything's okay" she turned to Geordie. "Could you wait outside please?" 

Geordie nodded and headed back out from behind the curtain. The nurse turned to Sidney and smiled again. "I just want to check your eye coordination" 

she bent down to his level as he was sitting on the bed. "follow my finger with your eyes and eyes only" she bought it from left to right and right to left. after a few minutes she stopped and stood up to her full height of 5 foot 6. "you`re eye coordination is slightly slower then usual but with some more rest you`ll make a speedy recovery." she smiled to add warmth and then headed back out, pulling the curtain back as she went. " just need to get the discharge papers and then he can leave" she said as Geordie passed her. 

"what did she say?" Sidney asked.

"she just went to get the discharge papers. then we`re leaving"

"leaving?" 

Geordie nodded. 

Sidney stood up and leaned on one ankle, taking the pressure of the other which was bandaged up. "what? why now?" 

"You're in no condition to carry on" Geordie said. Sidney suddenly slipped off what he was holding and Geordie caught him. "Your arms broke- ankle sprained. We're going home. We found enough" 

"But-" 

"No buts. I've already called Mrs Maguire saying we're coming home" Geordie said firmly. 

"But-" 

"Sidney. I said no buts! We're going home!" Geordie shouted. 

Sidney could hear the anger in Geordies voice and decided not to question his judgement anymore. He shuffled back to the bed and allowed Geordies help. The nurse came back, holding sheets of a paper in her right hand. "Just sign here and you're ready to leave" 

Sidney took the pen from her and signed on the bottom of the page. She took it back from him and signed on the bottom of the page as well. "All done. " 

"Your ankle is better then it was when you first came in however it will still be painful to walk on. Considering you've broken arm we can't give you crutches so it's to hobble around or wheelchair I'm afraid" 

"I'd rather hobble" Sidney mumbled. The louder "I'll be fine - don't need wheelchair." 

"Okay- well go easy. Do you live round here?" The nurse asked as she put the papers into a clipboard. 

Sidney shook his head. "No" 

"Well in 2 weeks go back to hospital to check out your ankle make sure it's all right and then in 5-6 weeks time go back to get the cast of your arm" she thought for a moment and then added. "Do you write with that hand?" 

Sidney nodded. 

"You might not be able to write for a while I'm afraid. What happened? You must have landed harshly on it or something" the nurse left her sentence hanging, waiting for Sidney to respond. He didn't at first then said quietly "I tripped" 

"That was it? No one hit you or anything?" 

Sidney shook his head, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. 

She nodded reluctantly. "Well you're free to go now. No more tripping over things okay?" She said lightheartedly, touching his arm. "I'll help you out okay?" 

Together, between the nurse and Geordie they helped him out through the hospital to the doors. He tried to get his ankle to obey but it was useless. It was painful but bearable - almost. 

A shout of his name brought his attention back to where he was as Cora threw her arms round him. "I know I saw you two days ago but I'm thrilled that you're back out of hospital" she squeezed him tightly. 

"Erm" Sidney didn't know how to respond but wrapped his left arm round her and squeezed tightly. 

" well I'll leave you in capable hands" the nurse smiled, touched his shoulder and headed back into the hospital, the door closing echoed around them. 

"We're aiming for the train that leaves in an hour" Cora said in his ear. She squeezed him again and then pulled away. "I'm sorry for everything that happened" 

"It wasn't your fault" Sidney said. 

She shrugged. "I suggested it" 

"Yeah? and I went along with it. These things happen" Sidney replied brushing her apology off. He was conscious of her standing next to him. 

"We might as well get going to the train station" Geordie said. "You going to be okay walking?" 

Sidney nodded. "I'll be fine" he didn't want to be a burden. The soft late January/ early February sun was low in the sky, creating shadows over the road. 

Cora nodded. "I'll help you." She grabbed his left hand and put her arm round his waist and he took a step forward. "Does this help?" 

He nodded. "Thanks" 

It took them slower then planned to get to the train station. They had to keep a slower pace then usual for Sidney who was being helped by Cora. Even though it wasn't much of a long walk, Sidney's ankle was starting to pain him again. 

"You know - maybe you should have taken the wheelchair instead." Geordie pointed out as they turned a corner, on the street to the train station. "The trains due in 10 minutes" 

"I didn't want to be in a wheelchair. Do you know how frustrating that is?" Sidney replied. "Besides - my ankles a bit better then it was two days ago. " 

"Yeah- but it may not heal properly being walked on all the time" Geordie replied. 

Sidney rolled his eyes. "She's a nurse. She wouldn't have suggested hobbling if I couldn't walk on it at all" 

"Your call" 

Sidney looked away, frustration on his face. He was ready to drop. His head still pained him slightly but at least he no longer felt dizzy or anything. They were the worst symptoms. They paid for their tickets and entered the station with 7 minutes to spare. Sidney was glad for the rest, even if it was just standing. Cora let him go but stayed within reach just in case he fell. 

Sidney suddenly looked around the station and then back at them. "Where's Sam?" 

Cora and Geordie exchanged looks before Geordie cleared his throat. "We thought it was best he didn't come with us considering all the problems in Grantchester" 

"I - don't- understand what do you mean 'we thought'?" 

Another look was passed between Geordie and Cora. "He wanted to come with you - at least to make sure everything's okay but I told him not too. He's gone back - but he moved on. He said he couldn't risk people knowing where he was staying" 

"So you're deciding plans for what's best for me? Without even asking? You're just assuming?" Sidney asked angrily.

"Nothing like that. Just - personally Sidney he may be a friend but after everything that happened do you really wanna be around the likes of him again?" Geordie asked. 

"Yeah? But he's the only one we know so far that knows what happened to me during those months I don't remember? Surely you would still want to keep in contact?" He looked from Cora to Geordie and back. 

"He's already told us everything. Until now you weren't ever gonna speak to him or forgive him again were you? Look at a few nights ago for instance. Both of you were talking away like long lost friends." Geordie said as he moved forwards on the platform as the train appeared, making its way to a complete stop. 

Sidney looked at him in horror. "It was - things that you wouldn't understand" he said flatly. 

"Oh yeah? Well sorry for trying to help you if you don't think I'll understand" Geordie snapped back harshly. "I'm sorry for trying to help you. Maybe Phil's right. Maybe you do remember you're just lying" 

Sidney looked at him with disgust on his face. Cora grabbed his arm and helped him onto the train. "He was worried about you when you were in hospital and took ages to wake up. Don't get angry" 

"I know and I'm sorry" he replied back. "It's just - me and Sam have been friends for ages with what happened back in Grantchester with Abigail - well I knew I could no longer trust him or anything but seeing him a few days ago and how I had obviously trusted him enough to go got me thinking." As they sat down he looked towards Geordie who was further away from them, talking. Sidney continued. "Being a vicar - there's some things that I can't explain to anyone - but someone who is a vicar will understand" 

"I do understand Sidney" Cora said gently, speeding his left hand holding it tightly in her hand on her lap.

He squeezed her hand back tightly. "Thank you for understanding" 

"That's what I'm here for" she squeezed his hand again and then let go, coughing slightly. She changed the subject. "At least we found a lot." 

Sidney raised an eyebrow. "We didn't find that much" 

"Letters, a necklace and a diary that you had written during the months you were away. That has to be something" Cora replied. 

"I suppose but..." 

Cora interrupted him. "No buts. We know anka was behind one kidnapping of you. That question is ... What did she want with you?" 

Sidney began to shake his head then his face brightened up. "Wait I remember - something to do with a list. It's always about a list. But a list of what?" 

"Hmmm - do you know any kind of list that might have been value to these people?" Cora asked. 

"Nope" 

"Anything less value then" 

"Nope." 

"Hmmmm-" she started to look out of the Window and she processed her thoughts. 

Sidney too started to look out of the window, also thinking. Everything they had found out-almost like slotting pieces together of a puzzle. However this puzzle seemed to be never ending - all pieces just not quite slotting together. His head started to hurt again - all this thinking - it was stressful."Are you going back? You know - back to Bristol" Sidney eyes briefly looked up to see Geordie approaching them.

"Not unless you don't want me too" 

Sidney avoided eye contact with her. "i think you should go. I don't want to cause any more hassle for you" 

"But-" 

"Go" Sidney said forcibly. "Felicity will be back by now right?" Cora nodded. "You should go back then. " 

Cora nodded again, feeling her heart sink just a little. Her hopes died. 

Geordie came to sit down and icy silence filled the air around them. It seemed so thick you could cut it with a knife..

"Why did you come down Cora?" Sidney asked after a while, looking away from the window.

"you were in trouble I had to make sure you were okay." she reached her hand to brush his fringe from his eyes, brushing her finger against the faint pink scars that stood out in contract to his light skin. "especially after what that nasty woman did to you"

he pulled away gently from her touch and turned his head back to the window, a thousand emotions turmoiling through his mind. he glanced up to Geordie but he was avoiding eye contact with him. he sighed further, this was going to be an extremely long journey....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geordie and Sidney jumped of the train, having left cora to go her separate way to Bristol.the tension was high and Sidney was getting uncomfortable. he just wanted to break it. he cleared his throat. "Geordie... listen" he grabbed his arm. "you do understand- more then what others understand about what`s happening right now and I'm sorry if I came across like I didn't trust your or want your help. I do want your help - as well as cora`s to help solve what happened to me I just - I'm confused. " he paused but then continued when Geordie didn't say anything. "what I'm trying to say is I`m sorry" his thoughts seemed to move around to much causing the words to get all tangled and he let his sentence trail off. 

at first it looked like Geordie wasn't even going to say anything. Sidney was just going to turn away when all of a sudden Geordie suddenly spoke and grabbed his arm. "I`m sorry for snapping at you earlier - I guess I'm still finding it hard to adjust you`re back and well still working on the forgiveness you asked for the first day I saw you. just remembering all the guilt I felt- I thought maybe it was me not talking to you- trying to find our whats wrong. what you told sam - you don't have to tell me. it can be a need to know basis okay?" 

Sidney breathed out in relief, having not realised he had been holding his breath till then. he smiled. "deal"

they started the short walk up to the vicarage. "you know - yet again, mrs m is going to kill me"

Sidney laughed. "Don't worry she'll kill me more" 

just as they approached the vicarage they spotted someone coming out; phil. Geordie quickened his pace to catch up with him. "what are you doing here?"

Phil turned around. "I was looking for you. I know you took a couple of days of work and I thought you might be back by now. might be with Sidney here. There's been another major development" 

"What sort?" Sidney asked. 

"It's Matthew. The boy that knew Melanie. He's gone missing." 


	15. chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Geordie learn new theory's and test them but then things take a very different turning then they had expected...

"when exactly did he go missing?"

"late last night. his mother didn't know until this morning when she went to look for him" Phil explained. Sidney was leaning slightly on one of the empty desks in the room of the police station- his ankle was killing him now. he flexed his gently and looked back up to the board. "was the room left exactly the same way as Melanie's? could he had been kidnapped as well?" 

"this was how the room was left" Phil handed Geordie a photograph. Sidney leaned over to have a look. "was anything missing from the room?" 

phil shook his head. "nothing except for a jacket." 

"you don't suppose- he ran away?" Sidney answered, pulling himself up right again. 

"Sidney has a point." Geordie said. "for starters - it didn't even look like he had gone to bed. the beds made and no blood" he concluded. 

"you think he knows something about melanie`s disappearance?" Sidney added. 

"like what? he already told you both what exactly had happened." phil retorted. 

"lies" Geordie added. he stood up. "this really isn`t making sense anymore" 

"nothing ever does" 

"what exactly was matthew to melanie?" phil asked. 

Sidney shrugged, then grimaced in pain as pain flowed through his shoulder. "they were friends. had started hanging around eachother everyday after school." 

"lovers perhaps?" 

Sidney shook his head. "i don't think so." 

Geordie turned round, facing the board. "what do we know about anka?" 

"well other then the fact she left marks all over Sidney`s face.." phil smirked. 

Sidney threw him a look and then looked away again, anger boiling inside of him. "she was also melanie`s babysitter" 

"that didn't exactly like you after stealing her precious baby away from her" phil taunted again, smirking. 

Sidney chose to ignore him this time, letting it slide away. 

"that's enough." Geordie said sternly. "going back to the fact she was her babysitter - melanie was also a self harmer." he turned back round the face them both. "now the reason is - how many hours did anka look after her?" 

no one answered so Geordie continued. "think of it like this - many people self harm for numourous reasons a guardian abusing them, a parent or even problems at school. we know she was bullied quite a lot. we also know anka had a violent temper. proof is right in front of us" he pointed towards Sidney. 

"thanks a lot" Sidney mumbled. 

"now was anka abusing the girl?" 

"but anka admitted she adored the girl. why abuse someone you say you love?" phil replied. 

Sidney turned to him. "that's just her words. we don't know what happens behind closed doors. no one does" Sidney replied. 

"exactly" Geordie agreed. 

"suppose she did self harm because of that as well - why harm yourself?" 

"for some its the only way to escape mental anguish." Sidney replied, now avoiding eye contact. 

"right"phil said trying to take it all in. 

"it makes sense." Geordie added. "i think a trip to melanie`s and a trip to Matthew`s is in order." 

phil stood up. "you really think her mum would know what was going on in her own house behind closed doors? the girls mum didn't even know her daughter was self harming. how do you think she`ll know her babysitter was abusing the child? melanie would have been to scared to say anything. look at you only finding out about Sidney cutting himself only recently you never knew-" phil suddenly realised how far he had gone in his description and allowed his voice to trail off for once in his life, almost looking guilty that he had said that but not quite.

Sidney`s head suddenly snapped up. "what did you say?" his heart in his mouth. 

Geordie have a phil a `now you`ve done it ` look. he slowly grabbed his coat, planning to continue with the plans of heading out. 

"what did you say?" Sidney asked again, pushing away from the desk he was leaning on to stand up properly. 

"nothing - I "for once in his life phil was speechless. "Geordie - he -" he took a deep breath in. "Geordie was just - raising his concerns about you that`s all" 

"oh brilliant."Geordie replied sarcastically, shoving his coat on. "just go and throw me into the mix as well" 

"well you were" phil shifted uncomfortably. 

"concerns?" Sidney echoed, whipping round to face Geordie, ignoring the sudden dizziness. " what concerns?"

now Geordie was stuck. his rubbed the back of his neck in nerves, not really knowing how to approach the subject without aggrevating Sidney further. "what phil means to say is I - when - when I took you back after that first flashback you had - i had to half drag you up the stairs in the vircarage." he took in another breath while watching Sidney closely for any sign of an unwanted reaction. he let the rest come out in a rush. "i took your jacket off. your shirt sleeves rose up and i noticed faded cuts and words written in your arm. " he paused to lick his lips. "i was concerned about you that's all and then all your knowledge about self harm with this case - i thought- maybe you were a self harmer"

Sidney looked away, feeling slightly relieved but also annoyed he had jumped to that conclusion. he shook his head. "i didn't do the marks down my arm- at least - i don't remember doing them. as far as I'm aware- whoever had hold of me did it" 

Geordie took some time to let this sink in. "you mean - you haven't a clue how you got them?" 

Sidney shook his head, avoiding eye contact now. 

"have you ever done it before? in your life?" 

Sidney shook his head, again looking everywhere but at them. Geordie didn't seem fulyl convinced. "so you didn't do these? you don't know how they got there?" 

Sidney looked up, making eye contact with him. "like the rest of my injuries from those months - i haven't a clue how they got there. end off" his left hand was starting to shake slightly and his brushed it through his hair for something to do.

Geordie nodded reluctantly. "right but have you ever-" 

Sidney butted in. "this isn't about me. its about melanie and matthew. lets go to his house and find out exactly whats happened" 

"but-" Geordie started but was interrupted again - this time by phil. 

"he had a point Geordie" 

Geordie sighed heavily. Sidney wasn't going to get out so easily of this conversation. he was going to ask him later - even if he has to interrogate him. he`ll get to the bottom of this, one way or another. "alright fine. lets go to Matthews. remember the address?" 

Sidney nodded, glad to have the attention drawn away from him. "yeah i remember" 

"okay. lets head up there"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"what exactly happened mrs huntson?" 

mrs huntson wiped the tears of her face. "i woke up to find matthew gone. he`s gone and i don't know where he is." 

"Could it be possible Mrs huntson that your son ran away?" Sidney asked. 

She started to shake her head. "No... He wouldn't do that surely he wouldn't do that... He's my son!" 

"You've recently moved here is that correct?" Geordie asked her. 

She nodded. "Melanie was very kind to him- welcoming him in the school when no one else did. No one really likes him. I don't know why. he's such a pleasent boy." She sniffed and stood up - getting a glass of water and drinking it fast, breathing in slowly. "I can't believe this is happening. First Melanie - now Matthew. I wish we have never moved here" 

"What does he take medicine for?" Sidney asked. He had noted the medication on the side. 

Mrs huntson shifted a little. "He's Ill. But he's so happy" 

"Has any gone missing?" Geordie asked. 

She shook her head. "Not as far as I know ... What - what does this mean?" 

"To tell you the truth- I think he's done a runner" Geordie replied truthfully. He checked his watch. "Look - we have to get back but - we'll keep you informed" he motioned for Sidney to follow. "We will find him Mrs huntson. We promise." 

She nodded, willing to believe in his words but she didn't want to be filled with hopes that may be crashed to pieces. Geordie turned to go and Sidney followed. Mrs huntson grabbed his hand. "Find him. Please. For me. He's my only son. My only pride and joy. I lost a child by murder. It's something I don't want to go through ever again. That's why we moved." 

Sidney glanced towards Geordies retreating back and turned fully round to face her. "Did it ever have an effect on Matthew?" 

She nodded, lip wobbling. "The poor boy - he went through a lot. Rock bottom he hit. " she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I can't possibly think of him running away. " 

"What was his name?" Sidney asked softly. 

"James. His name was James" 

"How old was Matthew?" Sidney asked shifted slightly as pain crawled up his ankle slowly. 

"6. James was 3" 

"I'm sorry" 

She nodded, her eyes gleaming with tears. "Thank you" she rubbed her forehead again. 

"Go and lay down Mrs huntson" Sidney said gently. "Relax and de stress yourself. Take some aspirin and get some rest. We will find your son Matthew. I promise" 

She grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed them tightly. "I believe you will. Thank you" 

He smiled and nodded and headed back out of the house, shutting the door. Geordie was already in the car, waiting. 

"So...." Geordie said as Sidney climbed into the car, much slower then usual with a sprained ankle. 

"So what?" 

"What she talk to you about?" He asked. 

"Oh just - asking to make sure her son is found" Sidney replied. 

Geordie nodded slowly before turning and pulling out, driving.

Sidney looked out of the window, elbow in the end of the window. His thoughts were everywhere today. He hoped they'd find the boy soon. Mrs huntson looked so fragile - so lost almost like an abandoned dog. 

"You didn't seem so sure back there" 

"Huh?" Sidney turned to face Geordie. 

"Back at the station. When I asked you if you had ever harmed yourself before you avoided my eye" 

Sidney became suddenly interested in the floor. 

"Like you are now" Geordie sighed looking left and right as he turned a corner. Once they were going on a straight road he looked briefly over at Sidney again. "You gonna tell me?" 

"No" 

"Because....?" 

"It's none of your business" Sidney replied flatly. 

"I'm worried about you Sidney. I can't seem to not be worried about you these days since you vanished of the face of this earth" he exclaimed gently. 

"And I'm sorry about that..."

"I know you are" Geordie cut him off. "You don't need to keep telling me" 

"Then why can't you forgive me?" Sidney snapped back, tired of his private life constantly being dug into like a matter to be solved. 

Geordie sighed. "I'm sorry Sidney. I am trying to its just - all the pain you left behind - hurt us all" he cleared his throat. "And besides this isn't about this, this is about what was brought up at the station" 

"I don't want to talk about it - just forget it" Sidney replied, closing any means of a conversation. 

"Fine fine " Geordie sighed, glancing at him again and then back at the road. 

After several minutes of silence Sidney spoke quietly. "When I was a teenager" 

Geordie took his eyes of the road briefly again and turned to look at Sidney. He turned back to the road. "Go on" 

"When I was a teenager - about 14-15 I harmed myself quite a lot" Sidney sis's flatly reflecting. "But I promise you know I haven't done it since then - I've left it all behind - trusted in God more. " he cleared his throat. "What these cuts on my arms are - I can promise you i don't remember them. If I did them myself then I can tell you I don't remember why and it wasn't intentional. But don't rule out the possibility of it being someone else who did it to me" he sighed gently. "If it was me something must have pushed me over the edge to do it. I wouldn't have gone through that again if I wasn't - tortured" he breathed out. "I hope it wasn't me. " 

"I hope it wasn't too" Geordie replied gently taking own hand of the steering wheel and placing it on Sidney's shoulder briefly squeezing it before placing it back on the steering wheel. 

"Where exactly are we going?" Sidney asked. 

"Melanie's house" Geordie replied just as he pulled outside Melanie's house. The window in the front room was pulled back slightly revealing a face before it was quickly placed back down and the door was opened revealing Madeline. "I heard you pull up" she said with a tight smile as they got out of the car. He smile disappeared and her eyebrows went up in a quizzical frown when she saw Sidney. "You keep coming back looking like you've been through the wars" she observed. 

"Tripped and fell" Sidney replied simply with a shrug of a shoulder (considering his right shoulder hurt to move it)

She shook her head. "You're dangerous to yourself" 

He smiled shyly as she allowed them through to her front room. "What have you found?" 

"We're still working on finding your daughter Madeline" Geordie replied. "There's been another person gone missing. Your daughter knew them quite well" 

The smile slipped from Madeline`s face. "Who?" 

"Matthew huntson. The boy she was friends with" 

Madeline slowly say down, disappointment welling up in her face. "Is he with her?" 

"We believe he's ran away" Sidney answered. 

"What... " her eyes widened. "He knows something about my daughter! That's why he's gone" 

"We don't know that for sure but it's possible" Geordie replied. "We also came to talk to you more about anka. How long did you leave her in charge of Melanie?" 

"Erm - when me and my husband were working" she looked from Geordie and Sidney and back. "What's this got to do with anything? Was it her that's taken my daughter?" 

"Nothing like that - just a theory right now. How long did you leave her?" 

"Sometimes 2 hours sometimes the whole afternoon. She was always sweet to my daughter." 

"When did she move here?" 

"About two years ago" Madeline reflected. 

"Did you know much about her?" 

"She was a qualified babysitter. She was a nurse during the war." Madeline smiled a little. "I suppose you two were both soldiers" 

They both nodded solemnly. 

She continued. "I know she had a violent temper but she was careful around my daughter. She adored Melanie I know that." 

"Do you know any more on her? Like how she was?" 

Melanie shook her head. "Someone recommended her to me. I didn't question it after she had told me that she was an excellent babysitter." 

"Who was this?" Geordie asked. 

"Natalie." She replied. "She's my sister - she has three children." 

"Do you know where we can find her?" 

"She lives outside of Grantchester. Near Cambridge train station" she replied. 

"Thank you. Well we best get going. We're trying our best to find your daughter Madeline. We promise" Geordie said gently heading towards the door. 

Madeline nodded , opening the door for them. "Find her soon please. I miss her terribly" 

"We will find your daughter Madeline" Sidney answered gently. 

She nodded before closing the door. 

They began walking back to the car, Sidney hobbling a lot more now. 

"Ankle hurting?" 

"A little more then earlier but I'm fine" Sidney insisted. 

Geordie nodded unconvinced. "Right- well I'm heading back to the station. Coming?" 

Sidney nodded, opening the car door and slipping in, grateful to be sitting. 

they didn't talk much as they headed back to the station, both deep in thought, maybe thinking about the same thing as the other but they didn't voice their opinion until they got back to the station. "i never asked - is anka still here?" 

Geordie shook his head. "other then assaulting you we couldn't keep her back for anything else. besides her brother bailed her out" 

"she has a brother?" 

he nodded as they entered. Sidney thought back to the recent flashback he had had. could one of the male people with her be her brother? was her brother involved in his capture? 

"what do you think about this anka?" Geordie asked. "other then the obvious" briefly pointing to the scars on Sidney`s face. out of habit Sidney reached a hand up and brushed his finger across the slight pink scars in his skin. 

"honestly?" Sidney started, turning to face him. "i think she's lonely. she had no children. Melanie was the closest thing ever to having a child" 

Geordie nodded in agreement. "shes also abusive, got a serious temper and also held you captured for I don't know how long" he concluded. "the truth is we don't know much about at her all. she`s also the only one with a strong motive for taking melanie" 

"hmm " 

"the second to have motive is her pal Tamani-" 

Sidney interrupted. "why him?" 

"because of what happened to his mother. grief and anger together makes someone think differently- do things to get revenge on what they lost" 

"i suppose that makes sense" Sidney replied, thinking. 

"but the main one is still anka. you stole her away from her apparently. her only hope of having a child in her life and she was taken by you. " Geordie said. he saw Sidney`s facial expression and rushed to quickly add "no offense. I didn't mean it to sound that way" 

Sidney shook his head. "no I know what you meant" he replied. he sat down, sighing heavily. 

"its not your fault Sidney so don't suddenly blame yourself" 

Sidney looked up at him. "but if anka did take her because of that reason then its my fault for ever appearing at their house and taking their daughter" 

Geordie shook his head." you didn't intend for her to take a shine to you. its in your nature. you charm them with your looks" Sidney threw him a dirty look. " not funny" 

"sorry" Geordie could tell Sidney was blaming himself. he sighed. "Sidney. stop. nothing is your fault here" 

"really?" Sidney snorted. 

Geordie chose to ignore that. 

commotion was heard further down the corridor, catching their attention as they turned round to see what was happening. phil entered the room, looking wildly round the room until he spotted Geordie. "its anka`s brother. he`s causing a fuss down by the church" 

Geordie swore and stood up, briefly turning to talk to Sidney. "see? strong motive for kidnapping melanie. " he started to go. 

Sidney stood up and tried to follow Geordie. Geordie turned round. "where do you think you`re going? you`re staying here" 

"its my church. my parish. I want to go too" Sidney replied boldly. 

Geordie shook his head. "the brother would want to get you aswell. stay here where we know you`re safe!" 

"we don't know that Geordie. maybe the brother has nothing to do with my capturing like his sister does" 

Geordie began walking off again without replying. Sidney tried following again and this time Geordie grabbed his uninjured arm and pushed him backwards, not enough to hurt him but enough to stop him in his tracks and know he means business. "you`re not coming Sidney. stay where we can keep you safe" 

"i don't need to be kept safe! I managed to survive this didn't I!? all the injuries I had sustained with being captured!" Sidney shouted. 

"yeah? but you wouldn't have got any if you had stayed here. " he pointed to his newest injuries. "and you wouldn't have gotten them if we have left you here and searched for clues of what had happened to you ourselves!" 

"that's why you stay here. I mean it Sidney. do not follow me" he said threateningly. "otherwise I`ll definitely arrest you for interfering with police business" he turned back round again. 

"you wouldn't do that" Sidney replied.

Geordie whipped round again. "i will if you don't stay put and let us deal with it! we lost you once! I aint gonna let that happen again" he shouted and it felt like Sidney had been slapped.

"you don't know what will happen though" Sidney replied flatly, losing the ability to fight back. 

Geordie stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "i know this much Sidney; whoever they are- they may be the ones still after you once you escaped them. maybe they didn't want you to still be alive. for that reason I want you to stay there" he squeezed his shoulder. "Sidney; you`re in this so much deeper then you think. I need you to stay here. do you understand me?" 

Sidney nodded, not meeting his eyes. "I`ll stay here" 

"thank you" he gave his shoulder another squeeze and then was gone, leaving Sidney to his thoughts.

and that wasn't such a good thing ...


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble is brought to the village

It wasn't hard to miss where the brother was causing havoc. A crowd had started to gather round the church where they could just see what he was doing. He had painted a word, it wasn't English, on the side off the wall of the church and was proceeding in throwing a chair through the window. Phil and Geordie pushed through the crowd just as he threw the chair. it smashed through the window, the glass breaking into tiny pieces which clattered into the church hall, almost sounding like an out of tune song. Geordie reached him first and grabbed his arm, hauling him round. the brother, caught in surprise didn't react but swore loudly. "what do you want?" 

"what do we want? to find out why the bloody hell you`re smashing up the church." Geordie retorted, dragging him away. now the brother was aware of what was going on - he started digging his heels in to prevent being dragged away. "i aint saying nothing" 

"are you in this together with that blasted sister of yours eh?" Geordie asked, giving him a little shake. "you In this together?" 

he grinned evily. "anka`s occupied somewhere else" 

"where might that be?" he looked up briefly, realising everyone was still hovering round them all. "there`s nothing to see here anymore." Geordie dismissed, eager to get them going. he turned his attention back to the brother. "well?" 

"funny that is" hs started, completely ignoring Geordie`s question. "you left your boy behind. wouldn't you think he would be safer with you then wherever you left him?" 

Geordie knew he was trying to get under his skin. without any emotion he responded with, "he`s somewhere safe where you or your sister wont find him" 

"such a shame" he replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster. he held back, making it difficult for Geordie to walk back. Geordie stopped walking, filled with frustration. "will you get your arse moving! let`s go! unless you want another crowd!" 

he grinned again, eager to get on his nerves. "a crowd would be just perfect thank you" 

"what are you gaining from all this huh? what are you planning?" Geordie interrogated. 

"wouldn't you like to know" he answered sarcastically. "my lips are sealed" 

Geordie shook him again. "where`s your sister!?" he demanded. "answer me!?" 

he shook his head. "now that would be telling wouldn't it? I don't snitch on my sister." he stepped slightly, away from Geordie but his hand tightened on his upper arm. "where is she?" he hissed. 

he shrugged again. "she didn't tell me. we don't always tell eachother where we`re going do we?" 

Geordie sighed irritably. "well why are you destroying the church for?" 

"think of it as a warning" 

"a warning? a warning to whom?" as soon as the question left his lips he knew what the answer would be. 

"Sidney"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sidney was getting restless. he didn't know what anka`s brother was doing at all. he was just completely in the dark with this. his mind was racing different scenario`s- everything that could go wrong. the walls seemed to be closing in on him - almost claustrophobic like. he had to get out - or stop thinking or do both. either way he had to get out of this room. how could Geordie expect him to just sit back? but he had promised him he would stay here...

but then whenever had he ever followed Geordie`s orders? he hurried off, eager to get out of the room, to leave the claustrophobic feeling behind. he ran down the stairs, ankle forgotten and hurried in the direction of his church. why was this happening? couldn't he ever cut a break? Melissa was right - he was in grave danger - and the bad thing about this whole situation was - he had no clue why he was in danger, why everyone was after him. if he had remembered - it would make life so much simpler.

his thoughts were interrupted by crashing into someone coming the other way. his ankle gave way and he stumbled. the person grabbed his upper arm in an almost vice like grip and righted him. "thank you" he replied gratefully. he went to turn away but the person still hadn't let go of his arm. he twisted his arm in their grip. "erm - you can let me go now" 

still no response from the person. he realised their face was covered, meaning they didn't want to be seen. anxiety rose up inside of him like vomit, this wasn't good. maybe he should have done what Geordie had asked him to do - stay inside. "who are you?" 

"don't you recognise me Sidney?" 

he gasped and tried to pull harder at her grip but she refused to let go, she hung on tighter. "my brothers plan seemed to have worked only too well. there were flaws in the plan but we over looked them, who knew I would bump into you like this - no cover - no nothing. it was only too easy. you care too much about your friends - if you didn't you would be safe still in the station where Geordie had put you. pitty really. I was hoping for some action" 

"stay away from me. I don't know what you want or who you are. just stay away from me" 

anka smiled, showing off her white teeth. she pulled the hood of her hair, hair that was pulled away from her face, neatly - too neatly. "my brother will be expecting you" she started to tug on his arm, forcing him to go in the other direction. he dug his heels in , which was proving difficult with a sprained ankle. "let me go" he pushed hard against her, not caring if he hurt her and pulled his arm out of her grip. he gave her a push into the wall, where she lost her balance and slipped and he ran off in the direction he was trying to go in. he could already feel that the run wasn't going to do his ankle any good but he had to get away. he gave a sneak look behind him. she had just pushed herself upright and was now following him. he had to lose her..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"do you know what this is?" Geordie whipped out the piece of paper, the paper with all the numbers on that cora had found after they had left the hospital. it had to mean something to them- it had too. "well?"

"never seen it before" he shrugged. 

Geordie sighed. he was getting angry with this guy now. "where is your sister!? where is she?" 

"well hopefully by now - she`s already reached him - maybe even on her way here." he stood up straighter. "maybe you`ll like to say a few words hmm? before we take him?" he watched for Geordie`s reaction, eager to see the concern on his face. finally it dawned on Geordie. "oh shit! you little bastard!" he grabbed his arm and behind the neck and pushed him off towards the car, the broken window now forgotten, almost didn't seem that important as to what anka might be doing to Sidney. "phil. take him to the station. lock him straight away if you have too. and get him talking" he turned round, half expecting him to be behind him where he wasn't he hollered his name again. "phil!" 

"sorry. was checking out if they did anything inside of the church.." phil answered as he came into view. 

"take him to the station. I gotta find Sidney" 

"he`ll be at the station. we left him there" phil replied, as he climbed into the car, starting the engine. his calmness in this situation seemed to aggravate and build more on Geordie`s frustration and worry. "since when does he do anything I tell him" he snapped, then with more calmness then he felt added, "anka`s got him" 

"I'm confused" 

"I`ll explain later" Geordie dismissed as he hurried away from the car. In truth, he hadn't a clue where he was going, or where to find Sidney - he just prayed he would cross paths with them eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
his ankle was really starting to hurt now, each step he took seemed to cause even more pain. she was still running after him. didn't this woman ever give up? passers by were watching them with curious eyes - but he couldn't stop or say anything. he didn't exactly mind them thinking whatever- anything would be better then she was trying to kidnap him. no one needed to hear that.

he stopped running and started to walk extremely fast- the only way he could think of that would relieve pressure on his ankle. when the nurse had said rest- he didn't think this is what she had in mind. as he past a row of houses, he looked behind him and momentarily a ray of hope burst through him. he couldn't see her- maybe he had lost her. just as he let this thought process through his mind, a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him down a side path. "ahh" he exclaimed in shock as he fought out with his left hand catching the intruder across the face. "ouch. jeez Sidney. its just me" 

Sidney calmed and turned to face his long term friend, breathing a sigh of relief. "how did you get here?" 

"that doesn't matter right now. come on - she`s coming closer" sam urged, grabbing Sidney`s wrist and pulled him along. "come on" they started running down the back streets, desperate to get away. anka obviously had help with getting him because the streets suddenly seemed to fill up with a few more cloaked people, all following them. "i cant ... need to stop" Sidney panted, his ankle was beyond the point of extremely painful and he also had a stitch, his mouth had a metallic taste in which wasn't pleasant either. sam grabbed his arm again. "you cant stop. if we stop, they`ll catch us" 

Sidney groaned, pressing his legs to move more, biting his lower lip hard to plot out the pain from his ankle. he was going to pay hell for this later. they turned down another road, the floor was slippery as they turned and they both slipped over, landing on their stomachs. rapid footsteps were fast approaching from behind them. "how far are they?" Sidney panted out, getting his breath back. both had been winded from the fall. 

"they might pass us. get behind there" sam replied, getting his breath back as he pushed himself back up, helping Sidney up who was having trouble getting his ankle to coordinate with the rest of him. they pushed up against the wall, praying whoever was behind them either wont turn or if they do run straight past them. "are they still coming? is it anka?" Sidney whispered. 

"shh" sam said, placing his hand over Sidney`s mouth as they heard sudden loud footsteps and voices. they both strained their ears to hear what was being said. 

"- how could they just vanish? its impossible" a woman exclaimed, definitely not anka. Sidney recognised her, it was Emily from before. 

"something`s very funny about this situation" that was a male voice. sounded like harry. 

"anka wont be happy. nor will the boss" Emily replied. "they cant have vanished." 

just then they heard running footsteps, sounding like just one person. they came to a halt near where they were. they both froze, barely daring to move or breath. 

"what are you doing hanging round here? get him!" someone cried. Sidney`s eyes widened as he heard anka`s polish voice. 

no one spoke for a few minutes. the tension in the air had reached them and they prayed they wouldn't spot them. 

"well?" 

"listen - anka -" harry began. "that other one - the dark haired one" 

"they`re both dark haired" anka snapped. "continue"

"alright - the one we aint after - he joined in, dunno when. he was helping the boy. helping him escape and we kinda - lost - sight - of - them - both" he said anxiously and slowly to prevent an unwanted reaction. 

"i don't care who else tries to pretect him or who else decides to get in our way and lead him away from us you stick to your duty! Czy rozumiesz!" anka screeched, her eyes alight with the anger that was boiling inside of her. "if you have to kill the other dark haired one - he doesn't know what he`s getting himself into. do whatever to anyone who stands in our way of getting the boy but remember - bring him back - alive." 

Sidney`s eyes opened wide but didn't say anything - it was hard to say anything. sam`s hand was still clammed tightly over his mouth making it difficult to breathe. 

mumbles of grumbling voices could be heard but nothing sounded clear. just when they thought they had heard enough Emily`s voice grew louder again. 

"what about the other boy? matthew? what are we gonna do with him?" 

"shhh" anka hissed. the sound of a slap filled their ears and they winced slightly at the force of it. someone stumbled slightly, probably Emily and then they hit the floor. "they could still be within hearing distance. they cant - cannot! - know I have the boy!" 

someone grunted and then Emily`s voice started again, with a slight strain in her voice, probably pain. "don't you have him held in the church?" 

"Zamknij się!" anka exclaimed. another sickening crunch of a fist hitting flesh was all that could be heard. "if they hear-" she left her threat dangling. it must have done something because they heard scrambling of stones and then footsteps headed off, coming round the corner where they were. they pushed tighter against the wall, barely making a sound as they past, beginning to jog down again, obviously looking for them. once they were out of earshot aswell as eyeshot they relaxed. "that was close" sam said. 

"hmm" Sidney replied. he pushed sam`s hand away from his mouth. "kept it there any longer I swear you were gonna suffocate me" 

"sorry. " sam apologized. they started walking down the path the others had vanished down, Sidney limping badly, he shook his head in disbelief. " we were wrong- we thought he had ran away" 

"who? matthew?" 

Sidney began to explain what had happened with matthew a couple of days ago. 

Once he had finished Sam sighed. "Looks like you were wrong. They've got him" 

"At my church" Sidney groaned. "How am I gonna explain that one?" He rubbed his left hand over his face. "Come on. You should be going- I need to find Matthew" 

"great so what's the plan?" 

Sidney stopped, remembering exactly what anka had told the others. He shook his head. "No. I'll go - I'll get Geordie or something. You heard what they'll do to you if they see you" 

"What about you? Look at the state they left you in!" 

"We don't know that for sure..." 

Sam grabbed his arm. "Think about it- they hurt you once. That doesn't mean they won't do it again. They may even kill you" 

"They need me alive." 

"It doesn't matter. I'm going with you" 

"But-" 

Sam interrupted him again. "I'm going and that's that." 

"But-" 

"Sidney. They've already seen me. It doesn't matter. Now come on- let's rescue this Matthew" 

Sidney sighed irritably, letting go of his friends arm. he nodded. "To my church"

~~~~****~~~~  
"it seems like ages since I've been here"

"It has" Sidney answered him without looking round. "Where on earth would they keep him? How?" 

"Just check everywhere. He has to be here somewhere" Sam replied, beginning to open various cupboards. 

"How did you get down here? You didn't get on our train" That question had been bugging Sidney since Sam had rescued him and he couldn't wait until later to ask him. 

At first only silence greeted him- for a long while until the point where Sidney thought something had happened. He went to turn round when Sam suddenly answered. "I followed you guys on the next train" 

"Why?" 

"Because-" Sam shrugged, opening another cupboard then shutting in. He suddenly whistled as he looked up. "Look at what he's done to your window" 

Sidney whipped round and then his face screwed up in frustration and anger. "I'm going to get blamed for this you know that?" 

"Geordie knows you didn't. He knows it was the brother" 

"Not by the police - by the archdeacon" 

Sam thought for a moment. "Well ignore him. He's an arse. Always has been" 

Sidney didn't respond, far to irritated to respond. He continued searching when suddenly he heard a muffled scream. "Shh- did you hear that?" 

"Hear what?" 

"That" Sidney stood still. The noise came again. "It's coming from the back room." 

"Matthew?" 

Sidney didn't answer but hurried into that direction, keeping it quiet so he could hear the muffled screams.

"Sidney wait!" 

Sidney didn't wait. He started to walk faster, entering the back room and suddenly paused. Sam, having been following right behind him didn't realise he had stopped, ran into the back of him. Sidney fell forward slightly. "Shh" 

"Sorry." 

Sidney listened out for the screaming but it seemed to have gone. "Can you hear it?" 

Sam shook his head. "It's like it's vanished" 

"It can't just vanish. He's here. I know he is" no sooner had he said that , the screaming resumed , coming from underneath them. 

"It's coming from down there" Sidney said. "How the-" 

"Maybe they got down from here" 

Sidney whipped round. Sam was kneeling on the floor - carpet pushed up. Underneath was a trap door. Sidney fell down to his knees next to him. "How long do you think it goes down?" 

Sam shrugged. "Only one way to find out"

He opened it up, creaking as it lifted, echoing around in the darkness below. The screaming began again- so much louder this time. "This is the place"

"How far does it go?" Sidney asked, leaning over to have a look down. 

"I can't tell- it's so dark." Sam replied. He leaned forward further. "But there's a ladder" he added. 

Screaming started again. "Come on then" Sidney slid further and placed his feet on the ladder slipping slightly of the floor. Then he realised he had a problem. "How am I gonna get down with a broken arm?" He said, thinking out loud. 

"Don't go down then" 

Sidney shot him a glare. "I need to. Matthews down there" 

"We don't know for sure its him..." 

"Fine" Sidney snapped. "But someone's down there and they need help so..." Sidney unhooked his sling from alround his neck and shoved it in his pocket. "Come on then" 

"Are you sure you can do that?" 

"Probably not. But my arm was starting to feel a little left out considering I've still had to use my ankle" Sidney replied sarcastically. 

"Alright. Alright. " Sam held his hands up. "Listen - maybe I should go first- just in case you get stuck and need help." 

"But-" Sidney couldn't actually think of an excuse. In truth, that might be better. He nodded and brought his hands up, pressing down on the floor and lifted himself back out, biting his lip as he right arm protested in pain. "There you go" 

Sam slid forward and allowed his legs to dangle inside before reached forward, connecting with the ladder and leaning forward. He gabbed it with both hands and started to go down. 

Once he was out of the way, Sidney followed what Sam had done and slowly made his way down, which was slow going. His arm was protesting everytime he tried to grip the ladder to the point where it no longer responded. He sighed and put his arm round the ladder. It was uncomfortable but better then before. "Sam? You down yet?" 

"Yeah. It's not that deep actually. We should have brought some lighting. It's dark down here" 

"Hmm" Sidney replied. He was concentrating on where he put his feet. His foot slipped, causing him to lose his balance. He tried to grab hold firmly on the ladder with his hands but his right arm failed to respond. "Sam-" was he got out before he slipped off the ladder, falling the last few feet to the bottom. he hit the floor with a crash, winding him yet again. He laid there for a few minutes, spots in front of his vision, too winded to move. Sam came rushing over, kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?" 

Sidney nodded, which was a mistake. His vision exploded in spots. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited to be able to breathe probably. Finally he said, "I'm okay. Just got the wind knocked out of me" 

"I told you it wasn't such a good idea" 

"Who said by them going first they would help prevent something like this from happening" Sidney snapped back as he sat up. 

"Okay. I'm sorry" 

Sidney scowled at him and then sighed. "Help me up" he held his hand up. 

Sam stood up, grasping Sidney's hand in his and pulling him up. He noticed immediately how he was favouring his ankle. "You idiot. I bet you made that worse" 

"Forget it" he said hoarsely, letting go on sam's hand. "Let's keep going" 

"Fine fine. Don't blame me when we end up carting you back to hospital" 

Sidney threw him a dirty look. 

They walked down the silent path way, using their hands to feel their way. It was completely dark. Sam stumbled a little and would have fallen if Sidney hadn't grabbed him. "Thanks" he said. 

"Look who's falling now" 

"I'm not the one with a broken arm and sprained ankle" 

"Well continue on like that and you might" 

Sam didn't respond, knowing the pain from Sidney's ankle and arm was getting the better of him. They walked further down. Finally Sidney asked, "how much further do you think this goes?" 

"Not much further" Sam replied. He grabbed his arm to stop him then used his other hand to point out in the distance. "Look. Light" 

"Come on then" 

They quickened their pace, eager to reach the light. Both of them stumbled more as they walked but neither had fallen. Finally they broke through the clearing, Matthew was in the corner, tied up, gag in his mouth. He was moaning softly to himself , then when he saw them he started to moan louder, flicking his head back. 

"Don't worry. We're here to rescue you" Sidney said, starting to head to him. He reached down to try and undo the ropes that bound him but they were too tight. He grunted in frustration then turned so he could face Matthew who was still moaning and was trying to talk. "What are you trying to say?" 

" ehind ou" Matthew said with all his might. 

Sidney suddenly realised what he was saying and whipped round, expecting to be faced with someone. The room was empty, completely empty. The shadows dancing on the wall. "Sam?" 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Sidney get into a bit of a sticky situation .....

"Sam?" Panic started to fill Sidney's chest and he stood up. This was meant to have been easy. No one was meant to be down here unless....

"Well, well we meet again Sidney. How nice" 

Sidney scrunched his hands into fists when he heard the voice. He knew who it was. No wonder they hadn't heard him with Emily and Harry. "I see you're not with your friends. Didn't they think you were trustworthy enough?" 

"Oh my dear boy. They thought I was trustworthy alright. Enough to keep the boy here and hopefully lure you here. Pity really. How you ended up bringing your friend to die as well" the shadows seemed to move as he stepped out, leading Sam with him, knife held to his throat. He smiled dangerously. "It's funny really. Instead of catching one of you- we caught two. All the better I suppose" 

"I should have realised you were going to be down here when you weren't with Emily and Harry" Sidney said, more to himself. He could have kicked himself. 

Dorsen laughed. "You're either so brave to rescue young Matthew over there or you're stupid. Probably the last one don't you agree?" 

Sidney did. He had been stupid. But he wasn't about to admit that. He changed the subject. "What do you and your pals want with me?" 

"Oh it's such a pity you can't remember. I bet your friend here can" he held the knife closer and Sam stiffened more. "Would you like to do the honours?" 

"I - I don't know what you're talking about" Sam replied hoarsely. 

"You were there. Surely he told you." 

Sam shook his head. "I don't know" 

"Such a pity" dorsen shook his head. He concentrated on Sidney again. "You see you had a -" 

"A list" Sidney butted in. "I know" 

"We would like it back. We know who you are. We know you did something with it when you realised what it was. Where is it?" 

"I don't know. That's the truth" Sidney replied. 

"That's not good enough!" The blade was pushed harder against sam's neck and he squeezed his eyes shut. Sidney could feel his heart pounding- he didn't know how to get out of this situation.

"Do you remember how we got you?" 

Sidney shook his head- lips dry. "Probably with force don't you think?" 

Dorsen grinned edging closer, dragging Sam with him. "You see- we had gotten hold of you for a little while at least. Then you escaped. You ended up at his house. Stayed for a while didn't you? What did he tell you?" He said tauntingly, then the last question he directed at Sam. He touched his throat with the knife, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut again. "He- he didn't say much." 

Sidney could tell by his eyes he had said some stuff to him - he knew because that's what Sam had said that night they had gone to him. He wanted Sam to stop trying to protect what he had said to him. 

"Come on now" dorsen taunted. "He must have said something" he pushed the blade into his skin softly and dragging it across. A thin line of blood followed, starting to spill out across his neck, leaking into his dog collar, staining it red. "Well?" 

"He -" Sam swallowed hard. "He said that people were after him. But that's all he told me. He said he couldn't go back to where he lived" 

"Why might that be?" 

"He didn't want to bring you guys to his home" 

Dorsen looked up to Sidney, grinning evily. Sidney seemed frozen where he was, he was startled to see the amount of blood on sam's neck and the blood was pulling some long distant memory from the back of his mind. He forced himself to remain calm. "You're after me and me alone. Leave him out of this- please" 

"Which one? The young'n down there or this one up here?" 

"Both" Sidney replied. His hands were starting to sweat. 

"Shame really - that you didn't die. Right before you had escaped we had shot you - caught you in the head the bullet did. How did you escape?" 

Shot? In the head? His hand subconsciously went up to his head, feelings the slightly raised bump that was still there. Had he really been shot in the head? By these people? No.... Cora would have said....

Then again- she might have not known it was from a bullet wound. He half glanced behind him, Matthew had started to loosen his bonds. He half nodded towards Sidney. Sidney was relieved he had at least gone straight to solve the rope issue that bound him. He turned his attention back to dorsen who was proceeding on going deeper into sam's throat. He willed his hands to stop shaking. The knife caught the reflection of a light and it glimmered, suddenly sending a spark through Sidney's mind, causing a firework explosion of memories. The knife- he remembered a knife. It was him being held in the position that Sam was being held- anka was in front of him , asking him questions. But her voice sounded like it was coming through a tunnel. He willed this memory back and pushed the dizziness from his mind. He had to get Sam out of danger first. 

"Remember this situation now?" Dorsen teased. "Almost like the way we had you isn't it? Except - we drew so much blood from you" he gave him a puzzled look. "How much blood do you think we can gain from your friend here?" 

Sidney willed himself to calm down, his sudden flashback was trying to grasp his attention but he couldn't allow it- not with Sam in the hands of this loathsome man. He pushed it further from his mind- not allowing it to take control of his body. It was proving hard and his head was hurting. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Matthew move - he had gotten the ropes free. Fortunately, Dorsen hadn't see him. He crept round the side of the wall, easing into the shadows, bringing his finger up to his mouth towards Sidney. For a boy of only 13 he was braver then most men he had ever seen Sidney thought. He brought his eyes back to dorsen. "I remember" he tried to put as much loath into his voice as possible. "Why can't you guys just leave me alone? It's over isn't it? The list`s gone - I don't exactly know what it is but it's gone. It's over dorsen. The police will have your friends in custody already" 

Dorsen grew angrier and tightened his grip on Sam, pressing the blade harder- something Sidney didn't want. "It's not over! It will never be over! Not until we have what we want! What we need!" 

"What is it? This list?" Sidney asked, trying to keep his attention focused. Matthew was coming up behind dorsen slowly now. 

Dorsen shook his head. "Nope. You ain't gonna fool me. Besides - what's the point of buying time for your friend here? He ain't going no where and neither are you. Now give me that list" he growled. 

"I don't have it" Sidney replied. 

"I'll kill him!" Dorsen shouted, edging closer towards Sidney, pressing the blade more firmly into sam's throat. "I'll do it! And him too!" He pointed towards where Matthew was and then a vacant expression came over his face. "What the- where's he gone?" No sooner had the words left him that Matthew jumped up onto him, squeezing tightly, kicking out with his legs. In his surprise, dorsen let go of Sam with a shocked surprise. Sidney made his chance and they dashed past him, grabbing Matthew off of dorsen and thrusting him in front of them. "Run!" They both shouted in unison. 

Sidney's ankle was starting to protest again - each step doing more damage but they had to get away from dorsen. 

"Are you okay?" Sidney called. 

"Looks worse then it feels!" Sam called back, but Sidney could hear the pain in his voice. Sidney blamed himself for what happened. 

They continued racing down darkened corridors, feet pounding on the floor. this was all his fault, Sidney thought. He had gotten Sam hurt and Matthew had been taken because of him. Suddenly his foot caught onto something, causing him to fall hard on the floor. Matthew and Sam turned to help him up but he shook his head. "Keep going" he pushed himself up, grunting as his ankle hit the side of the wall and he began running again. Dorsen could be heard behind them so they pushed on further, eager to reach the ladder which was now in sight. Sam and Matthew reached it first and Sam pushed him towards it gently. "Go" 

Matthew began climbing up and Sam turned back to Sidney. "You go first" Sidney said as he reached them, glad to stop running. He had a stitch in his side. 

"But-" 

"No arguing. Just go Sam. We ain't got time to argue!" Sidney shouted. He pushed his friend towards the ladder and Sam began climbing, Sidney following on. He turned back briefly to have a look back. Dorsen wasn't far now, his almost shadow like way seeming more threatening. 

Matthew had reached the top and was climbing out of the trap door, turning back just as Sam pulled himself out. Sam turned back as well and reached down, it was obvious that Sidney was having problems getting up. 

He was right - Sidney could feel his strength evaporating from his body, his mind still screaming at him- trying to bring him to some form of flashback. He willed himself to stick to the present. Something suddenly grabbed hold of his ankle, yanking him down a few steps. Sidney made a dash to grab the ladder in fear of falling off. He looked down and saw dorsen clinging onto his leg. "Get off me!" He cried. 

"Give me your hand!" Sam called down, reaching his hand out. Sidney let his hand go and reached up but he couldn't quite reach. "I can't reach!" 

Sam reached down further, fingers just brushing eachother. "Reach up further!" He called. 

Sidney tried shaking his leg, trying to get dorsen off of him but he was latched on with his vice like grip. Sidney reached up further, Stretching and then grabbing tightly onto sam's hand. He kicked out his leg, catching dorsen in the face. Blood began to spill down his face as he let go, momentarily stunned. Sidney scrambled up the rest of the way, being helped by Sam, Matthew leaning down to provide assistance. Once Sidney was out, Sam slammed the trap door shut - locking it. 

Furious pounding began underneath the trap door. "let me out!" 

"let`s go" Sam urged, standing up and they darted out of the room, through the main church and out of the door. once they were safely out, Sidney collapsed onto the grass, panting heavily. "what`s out next move?" 

"call the police" Sam said firmly. "besides - I'm sure they`ll love to know that Matthew's been found"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
everything seemed to happen in a flash of events. the police turning up - the questioning - Geordie making sure he was alright. an ambulance arrived not long after. Sam was in it at the moment, having the blood removed from his neck. he was next in line to be checked. he was still on the grass, blanket wrapped round his shoulders. they had all been given one once the ambulance had arrived. matthew was a little further away, his mother furiously hugging him - making sure he was okay. 

Geordie came to sit next to him. "where did you find him?" 

"where we told you dorsen was" Sidney replied. 

"so in your church?" 

"what`s with all of these questions?" Sidney asked, worry creasing his forehead. "i already told you everything"

Geordie started to fidget. "people are thinking its you that -well - took him" he gave it moment for that to sink in then added, "because of your - memory loss, they think you may have done it" 

"but I didn't! we found him there! ask sam!" Sidney shouted, a few people glanced his way but he didn't care. he was outraged that people would even think that he would kidnap someone and then rescue him a few days later. it didn't make sense. he looked away from Geordie, watching phil and a few others shoving dorsen and the rest of the crew inside a police van. finally - It was over. at least he hoped. he still didn't know everything what had happened to him. now that they were taken care of, he wanted to know exactly why they had been after him and why they had held him hostage all those months ago. new doors were opening and it was rather exhausting. having them arrested didn't exactly answer any of his questions. his head was still hurting and the knife glittering in the light was still trying to pull a memory to the front of his mind however he kept it at bay. he would wait until later. "it wasn't me Geordie - when I left the station like I said I bumped into anka. she saw me, chased me, then sam rescued me. we heard what they were saying. Emily had turned round and said that they had matthew up at the church. it wasn't me" 

"i know. I know. don't stress over this okay? the others don't think you did either. its just a numbered variety that do" Geordie assured him. 

"how`s that helping?" 

Geordie shook his head. "are you okay?" 

"fine" 

"i mean probably Sidney - you look like death has warmed over. what did that guy do to sam by the way?" 

"when we got down there - we saw matthew. I went to get the ropes undone and then he warned me. I turned round and dorsen had a knife held to his throat. because I couldn't answer his question he dug the blade into sam`s throat." Sidney sighed and shivered. even though it was a warm night he still felt cold. 

"why didn't you come and get me? we could have had police outside the area. it may have been safer that way. then no one would have gotten hurt. " to Sidney it seemed like Geordie was scolding him. "i didn't know anything like this would happen. we didn't want to arrive late and matthew to have been killed." Sidney replied. then he sighed and added. "besides - I did tell sam to go back but he refused. he wanted to come - to help" 

"it might have been safer Sidney - you could have been hurt.." 

Sidney sighed further. "wouldn't make a difference would it? look at me" he then remembered what dorsen had said. "dorsen said I had been shot - shot in the head. bullet had caught me where that bruise was" 

Geordie looked at him with concern and alarm on his face. "a bullet? as in from a gun?" 

"do you know any other things out there called bullets" Sidney replied sarcastically. 

Geordie shook his head. "the things people do to get information out of someone" he saw sam approach them. "looks like its your turn in the ambulance" 

Sidney looked up as well and sighed, pushing himself up off the floor. he stepped into the ambulance and the nurse guided him to sit down. she noticed immediately how he was favouring his ankle. "oh dear. been through the wars have we?" she started to check him over. first prodding his arm - several minutes later confirming no further damage had been done but it was going to take much longer to heal. his ankle - on the other hand -was a mess. "what did you do to it?" 

"sprained it" Sidney replied. "in London. the nurse there said I could still walk on it though - just to take it easy" 

"well I don't think she meant something like this" she replied. "looks to me like its extremely sprained now. I'm gonna have to wrap it up" 

"I`ll still be able to walk on it right?" he asked as she stepped to the side to collect some bandages. she came back to his side and smiled. "yes. but you`ll have to be extremely careful. any more running and you`ll probably fracture it - or break it. now rest against the back here" she patted the pillow and he leaned back , wincing when his back touched it. now the adrenaline was out of his system the bruising that was done from falling from the ladder was painful and he could feel it. the nurse had noticed then, and once she had finished wrapping his ankle up told him to get onto his front. he turned over gently, wincing again. she very gently lifted up his shirt and then whistled low. "how did you manage this?" 

he turned his head to the side so he could answer. "erm - I fell .... of a ladder" 

"I'm surprised you haven't done any serious damage! falling on your back is extremely dangerous- especially in a certain way" the nurse scolded softly. that's all people ever seemed to do to him lately. he laid his head back on the pillow and breathed out. the nurse went to get some cream and gently rubbed it over the bruise - apologising when he sucked in a breath and a soft gasp escaped his lips. she patted his shoulder. "i think that`s everything." she helped him sit back up. "heres some cream. apply it daily okay? that bruise is going to be painful for a least a week. you better rest. understand?" 

he nodded and slid down from the bed, grunting when his right foot touched the floor, causing pain to flow through it again. "thank you" 

she smiled and turn to tidy the things away. he stepped out of the ambulance and limped towards Geordie and sam. now with a bandage wrapped round his ankle it was extremely difficult to walk. once he reached them he sat down, wincing as it caused pain through his back. "you don't look so good" sam noted. 

"well you can talk!" Sidney retorted back, leaning his head back slightly so he can see him clearly. "i thought he was going to slit your throat when blood started to appear" 

sam shrugged. "dog collars provide protection from slitting throats don't you think?" 

Sidney rolled his eyes, smiling for the first time since getting away from dorsen. he turned to Geordie. "the parents know I definitely didn't kidnap the boy right?" 

Geordie nodded. "don't worry. while you were in the ambulance I was making sure both your names were cleared. it was the other fellas weren't it? Emily and the two guys?" 

Sidney nodded, feeling relieved. now all he wanted to do was sleep - sleep for a like a thousand years. he rested his head against the grass, closing his eyes, only for a few seconds then darkness came over him - images from earlier flashing through his mind up to the point where the knife had glistened then it seemed to take a different turning. it was him in sam`s position - anka in front of him, demanding as usual. someones hot breath was on the back of neck, knife pressed against his neck. a hand was in his hair, pulling his head up. he grunted. everything seemed like he was watching through a tunnel - the voices - everything. then suddenly they were on a train station, pulling him onto a train. the name of the train station was dark - he couldn't see it. the soft voices were replaced with music, the same song he had heard when he collapsed in his front room the first day he had arrived back. he covered his ears as it got louder and louder...then everything went black as he was brought back to the present. 

"Sidney? are you alright?" Geordie asked. 

Sidney nodded although he didn't feel okay. it was some strange flashback he had had. why wasn't it clear enough? he nodded shakily. the song was echoing around in his head, making it difficult to concentrate. 

"did you see anything?" 

he went to shake his head but then thought better of lying and nodded. "yes but- It wasn't clear enough. I was being held in a similar position to how sam had been - anka was in front of me demanding I told her something-" 

"tell her what?" Geordie asked. 

"that's the thing - I don't know. it was like watching through a tunnel. everything seemed dark and vague. it was like I was almost remembering but not quite." Sidney reflected. "then I was on a train station. but I couldn't make out what sort of train station" the song restarted in his head and he groaned, bringing his hands to his face and burying it in them. "that song. its too loud" 

"what song?" 

"i keep hearing a song - sometimes through flashbacks -sometimes during the night. I don't know what it is. it might have a connection to what had happened to me" Sidney replied, voice muffled by his hands. 

Sidney didn't see Geordie and sam share a concerned look, for once both of them agreeing that something wasn't quite right. "don't worry about it Sidney." sam said. "it will come to you when its ready" 

"i wish people would stop saying that. its not helping!" Sidney shouted, then regretted it. he sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. " I'm sorry - look, I want to go home." 

"okay" Geordie said gently. "I`ll drive you home." then he turned to sam. "i presume you`ll be staying here then?" 

he shrugged. " I didn't exactly think it through when I left..." 

"well - thank you for going with him. he probably would have gotten himself killed." Geordie said, a little stiffly.

"I'm right here you know" Sidney added but his voice sounded a little sleepy. 

"i hope that heals up" Geordie said to sam, ingoring Sidney. he pointed to the thin scar like line that went across his neck. 

"its nothing .... it should heal..." 

"you can stay at the vicarage a while - if mrs m moans just ignore her. its her entire personality." Sidney said, standing up. "she`s gonna kill me when she see`s me. I was meant to be having a church meeting today - didn't exactly go to plan. I wasn't even meant to have been gone this long" he added. 

"seems like you keep saying that a lot lately" Geordie said. then coughed when Sidney threw him a look and added, "so I'm taking you both to the vicarage?" 

Sidney nodded. 

"when we get there Sidney I want you to rest. you hear me? rest. that ankle and arm of yours needs to heal" Geordie scolded. 

Sidney nodded. 

 

once Geordie pulled up in front of the vicarage, the sun had finally got down, leaving a soft orange glow across the floor. lights were on in the vicarage and Sidney could see mrs m in the window. she looked up as they climbed out and then rushed off, seconds later the door opened. "where on earth have you been? the archdeacon isn't happy with you. then again - when is he ever these days! look at the state of you!" 

"well I'm off. have fun" Geordie said, hastily getting back in the car and driving off, leaving Sidney and sam to face the very angry housekeeper of the vicarage. 

"i ran into trouble." he said. 

"that's always your excuse.now come inside." she then finally noticed sam standing a little behind Sidney. she didn't say anything for a while then noticed his dog collar. "is that - blood!?" 

"like Sidney said - a bit of trouble." sam replied. 

"well stop standing out here - come inside. but be warned - I'm still very angry with you Mr Chambers" she stalked back into the vicarage leaving the two bewildered boys to look at eachother before following in. "is this how she`s always like?" 

"yes"


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Sidney argue while Geordie questions Matthew on what happened the day before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update. had writers block. couldn't think of what to do but now I have and here it is! hope you all enjoy it! it might be a bit rubbish I'm sorry for that. I had written most of it and nearly finished when the app closed down and deleted everything so i had to write it all over again. hope its still good!

"what the bloody hell happened at your church?" was the familiar greeting they got the next day. Sidney groaned and his head hit the desk. "I'm not here. I'm out" 

"too late for that" Sam replied who was sitting on the edge of Sidney`s desk. 

Sidney banged his head a couple of times. 

"he`s through there" Sidney heard mrs M say. he involuntary groaned and banged his head once more against the desk. 

"ah! Sidney. i need to talk to you." the archdeacon stood in the doorway of Sidney`s study. he had a frown on his face and looked angry - very angry. 

Sidney sat up right and turned round in the chair. "yes?" 

"what on earth has happened down at the church? a smashed window? explain that one for me?" he turned to close the door then noticed sam sitting on the edge of the desk. "what are you doing here?" 

"leaving" he said standing up. "you`re on your own" he disappeared out closing the door behind him. 

"thanks a lot" Sidney muttered under his breath. "some friend you are" he stood up facing the archdeacon, leaning on his desk to rest his ankle. "there was a commotion yesterday. someone threw a chair through the window. " 

"yes so i heard."the archdeacon replied. he looked around the room before returning his gaze upon Sidney once more. "i also heard that it was a man - someone who knows you" 

Sidney didn't know where this was going but he had a bad feeling about this. when Sidney didn't say anything the archdeacon continued, "this man knew you from when you did your disappearing act. he also wrote things across the wall in polish did you know?" Sidney stared blankly at the floor. 

"he`s one of them after you isn't he? you do know he could have killed someone by throwing that chair-" 

Sidney interrupted him. "no one was in there" 

the archdeacon continued as if Sidney hadn't spoken. "and to top it all - a boy no older then 13 was kept against his will in your church and people are starting to talk. how do you think this looks on the reputation of the church?" he raised his voice causing Sidney to wince as if he had been slapped. 

"me ruining the reputation!?" Sidney said back, throwing his hand up in the air in frustration. "i wasn't the one who got a 15 year old girl pregnant!" 

"and that's being delt with!" he responded firmly, slamming his hand down onto the desk. "but for kidnapping is entirely on another league..."

"i didn't kidnap him! he was put there by people that were after me!" 

"and that's another reason!" the archdeacon spat again as if Sidney hadn't responded. "you`re putting people in danger. these people are after you and by not getting you - people are getting hurt because of you"

Sidney thought back to matthew, who had been kidnapped to lure him to his doom and sam, who had nearly had his throat slit helping him. he shouldn't have been down here in the first place.. the archdeacon was right, but he wasn`t keen on admitting it. "i didn't kidnap him - nor did i mean for sam to get hurt either. these people are after me and i don't know why because i cant remember but i promise no one else will get hurt" 

the archdeacon shook his head. "you just don't get it do you? innocent people are getting hurt because of you and what you`ve done. as a vicar that isn't right. not at all. people from your parish are getting hurt. that broken window for instance... what are you going to do about that? it cant stay broken forever can it?" he sighed irritably. "speaking of your parish I've had a poke around your church services. do you know what was missing Sidney?" 

Sidney chose not to reply, his expression flat. the archdeacon continued, " you`re missing from there Sidney. you - the vicar. you cant keep having your curate doing everything. all through those three months you weren't here he was always in fits of nerves. people have complained you know" 

"about Leonard being nervous?" 

"no. about you - no longer doing them." the archdeacon coughed and straightened up. "i suggest you start thinking of ways to get that window fixed. You're on your own for that one. And also, you should think of other options of where you can go. I think you're time here is running shorter and shorter then you think and may come quicker then you think. I suggest you get prepared for it. I've never had anyone like you. You're in a league of your own Sidney. A disappointment." He shook his head slowly. "I had such high hopes for you when you first started in college did you know that? It's such a shame that that hope quickly died out" he placed his hat back on his head, signalling loud and clear that he was just about done here. "I also think you need to paint the wall of the church to hide that writing. I had a look what it meant in English. I'm glad no one else knows what it means" 

"What does it mean?" 

The archdeacon shook his head. "You don't need to know. The only thing you need to know is I've got a close eye on you now. That window needs to be repaired and the writing cleared up. Also I want you at church service this Sunday. No exceptions otherwise you'll be quickly removed on immediate effect do you hear me?" 

"Yes" Sidney replied flatly. 

"Good." He turned on his heel. "Good day Sidney" he opened the door and closed it again. Sidney strained his ears to hear the sound of the archdeacon leaving and then he hurled a glass at the door. It smashed into tiny pieces and shattered to the ground, almost like how the church window had. He sat back down and buried his head in his hands, his anger fuming. His heart was pounding with it. He heard the door open and then close and then footsteps coming to a halt beside him. 

"Go away" Sidney said, his voice muffled. 

"I heard what was said" 

"Oh yeah. Bet you were listening in" Sidney replied sarcastically. 

"No .... It was hard not to hear you" Sam argued back. "Oh and thanks for throwing me into it" he replied sarcastically. 

"Throwing you into it? You threw yourself into it the moment you touched Abigail!" Sidney shouted back. 

"Hey! Now that ain't fair! Look who's been helping you! from the moment you turned up on my door all bloody I've helped you Sidney" 

Sidney groaned and gritted his teeth before smacking his head back into his hands. "I don't understand you anymore" 

"You don't understand me!? You're the one with amnesia who doesn't make sense these days" Sam argued back. He took in the broken glass on the floor. "You know Sidney - some days it's harder to understand you anymore." 

"Oh and you're not?" Sidney replied angrily standing up. He rounded on Sam. "You're not who I thought you were anymore" 

Sam shrugged. "People change Sidney." 

"Yeah but not like this. I don't even know why I trusted you. That is IF I ever trusted you." Sidney spat. "How do I know you ain't making everything that you told us up?" 

"Well that letter you wrote Geordie is proof enough isn't it?" Sam retorted back. Why was everything going so wrong? "I was the one that saved you yesterday wasn't I? What would have happened if I hadn't been there hmm?" 

"Well for one you wouldn't have had your throat almost slit" Sidney snapped back. 

Sam gave an exaggerated sigh. "But at least both of you are still alive huh? If you had gone alone what do you think would have happened? Anything could have!" 

"I don't understand you" Sidney shook his head. "I thought I knew you so well in college but now..." He let his voice trail off. 

"Oh so you're going to play that card?" Sam retorted. Now he was getting angry. Why couldn't Sidney see the point he was trying to make? "You're not really pissed of at me - more what the archdeacon said"

"Not just that! Everything!" Sidney threw back at him. "That main fact being I thought you weren't like that! But a 15 year old girl!? I don't care what your reason was or is! I could kick myself for being so stupid for ever thinking you were a friend" Sidney tried to stalk past Sam but it was difficult as he was limping. 

Now that stung- a lot. He swallowed hard as he turned to follow after Sidney. "Wait- sidney" he grabbed hold of his arm and spun him round to face him. "Please cant you listen to me?" 

"I've heard enough from you. I don't want to hear it." Sidney replied. He shrugged him off. " and leave me alone! Don't touch me!" 

"You know maybe it's not just me that's changed! Have you looked at yourself recently!" Sam shouted. "You're different from college! Maybe that's why we're arguing right now! Because both of us have changed and our friendship can no longer work that way!" 

Sidney was too shocked to say anything for a moment. Then his expression went flat. "I think you should leave. You shouldn't even be here." He turned to go but Sam grabbed his arm again. "I'm sorry Sidney okay? For everything that happened. I just - wish it could be different." 

Sidney didn't respond. "There's a train tomorrow that goes back to London. I think you should be on it" he untangled his arm from Sam's grip and started to limp off towards the front room. 

"It's funny this" Sam laughed nervously. "We've already had this argument once. almost as if we've gone back in time." He swallowed. "But you've forgotten it. And what your response was after you had cooled down. You can't even remember how it was the few weeks you stayed at mine. How it almost felt like college all over again. Then they got hold of you and you told me that you might not survive what they had planned. You gave me instructions of what to do of every possible scenario that could happen. " he watched Sidney's reaction as he spoke. "It's just a shame you never thought about what to do in case you made it out alive and forgot everything that happened." He added quietly. 

Sidney didn't respond but looked at the floor, expression flat. He didn't know what to say and the hurt in Sam's eyes was too much. 

Sam waited for Sidney to say something - anything. But it never came. "I'll see you later" he bolted out of the door and turned right, disappearing from view. He needed to think. 

Sidney breathed out and sighed. He would follow him but he was still too angry to do anything. 

"I want that glass picked up Mr chambers. I will not be doing it for you" Mrs m scolded as she came down the stairs. 

"And it will be!" Sidney snapped back then saw the expression on her face. "I'm sorry" he limped back to his study and slammed the door, the noise echoing round the vicarage. He bent down to pick up the broken glass and threw it into the bin then sat down and pulled out a bottle of whisky and a glass. He also put a sheet of paper into his typewriter and wrote SERMON at the top- and that's how it stayed for the next hour. He banged his head against the table. A knot of anxiety was forming in his stomach as the apprehension grew with the thought of speaking again in front of his church after everything that had happened. The more the anxiety grew - the more he drank.   
~~~~~~~~~~~  
"What exactly happened the night he took you?" 

Matthew was sitting hunched up on the sofa, a tissue screwed up in his hand, his mother sitting next to him. "i left my house during the night. I went out walking - I was thinking about Melanie and I guess I wasn't looking where I was going. " he took in a shuddering breath. "I remember I turned to cut through an alleyway that led to a park near where I lived when I suddenly felt the sensation that I was being followed. Before I had time to turn around someone hit me from behind." 

"Then what?" Geordie asked. 

"I was tied up- in the bottom of the church. I started to panic when I couldn't move my arms or nothing and then a man appeared. " 

"Dorsen?" 

He shook his head. "No another one. Tall - brown hair. Spoke menacingly" 

"Harry?" 

"Yep. He was there. Talking to me - whispering in my ear about what he'll do if I don't behave myself." A tear slid from the corner of his eye again and he used his tissue to get rid of it. "I lost consciousness again I think. Then I woke up and it was the other guy. He told me they had left him in charge. There was something else they need to get. More like someone" 

"Go on" Geordie urged. 

"I mainly just sat there - going in and out of consciousness. I was scared, real scared. Then once I woke up and he was talking to someone on the phone. They had a phone connected up you see. " he drew in a shaky breath and his mother held him tighter to her, stroking his hair. " something wasn't going right and that they needed to go to plan B. They couldn't find Sidney anywhere. Then I fell unconscious again." 

"What happened after that?" 

"The next thing I woke up and dorsen was looking happy. Saying he was coming. They had followed Sidney and - the other one - I didn't know who he meant - and they were hiding so they said out loud so they could hear where I was. About half an hour later they came down. Sidney started to untie me and then I realised what Dorsen's plan was. He made a move you see and grabbed the other one dragging him into the corner. I had to warn Sidney. He turned round and - you know the rest from him I presume" 

"Yes. He told us what had happened." Geordie nodded. "Is that everything?" 

Matthew nodded. "I'm glad to be out of there. I was so scared - I thought I would never come back home again" 

"Oh my poor boy" Mrs huntson said soothingly and kissed his forehead. "First Melanie - then you" She turned to face Geordie. "Was Sidney part of this?" 

Geordie shook his head. "He would never touch your son Mrs huntson" 

"I know - but the ones that kidnapped my Matthew are the ones after Sidney right?" 

"It would appear so" Geordie shifted uncomfortably, wondering where this conversation was going. 

"He needs to do something - otherwise people are going to get hurt" she replied. "Maybe he should take a trip. What if Melanie was taken because of him as well?" 

Geordie hadn't thought of that. If that was the case then - at least they had a motive..... "We're keeping a strong eye on him Mrs huntson. It's not his fault - he can't remember what happened to him" 

"Amnesia? " Mrs huntson sighed. "Well - all I'm saying is - it needs to be dealt with. People are getting hurt because of him" 

Geordie hated to hear her talk like this about him. He knew Sidney would definitely leave again if he knew what people were saying and honestly....

He didn't want him to leave again. He stood up. "Well if that's all..." 

Mrs huntson stood up. "Let me show you out.." She followed him out and opened the door for him. He nodded his thanks and stepped out of her house, turning to face her again. "If he remembers anything...."

"Of course" she nodded. "I hope you solve this inspector - it's gone on too long. Something needs to be done. I saw what that boy did to the church" 

"It wasn't Sidney..."

"I know - I meant the idiot who was smashing up the church - this needs to stop and I know you will stop it- whatever it takes" she smiled and closed the door.

Geordie thought for a moment before turning round and heading to his car. he thought about everything that had happened throughout the last few days. all of it just wasn't making sense anymore and it was hurting his head. he came to a stop at a red light and fumbled in his pocket for the piece of paper with the code written on it. he observed it carefully. he had been doing this during every bit of free time he had and it was giving him a headache. the light suddenly turned green and he placed it back into his pocket as he placed his hands back on the wheel and he rounded the corner thinking still on the subject. what if anka was behind all of this? besides detaining her for kidnapping they couldn't really prove anything about the attempted murder on Sidney. to be honest, they didn't know a lot on her, all they knew about her so far hadn't got them any extra clues - it was like piecing together a never-ending puzzle- the pieces just kept coming. he thought back to the previous conversation he had had with madeline - maybe he should give this natalie as visit, after all , she did recommend anka to madeline, perhaps she knows more about her then anyone else seemed too...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
the sharp shrill of the telephone jerked Sidney awake as his head ubruptly lifted from the desk. the piece of paper in his typewriter still only had the word SERMON written on the top. he rubbed his hand over his face before getting up to answer the phone. "hello?" his voice sounded strange to his own ears.

"hello its me. oh it`s so nice to hear your voice again! I hope you`re okay and the ankle and the arm are healing nicely" 

it was cora. he blinked several times, trying to clear the fog that was muddling his brain. "oh hi cora. its nice to hear from you too. how are you?" he blinked again, his senses confuddled by the amount of alcohol he had consumed. 

"pretty much the same" cora replied, her voice seemingly to cheerful. "how are you? is everything okay?" 

"its been ...." how had the week actually been? he searched for a word to describe it. "...hectic" 

cora`s voice turned serious and concerned. "whats happened? are you okay? is everything okay?" 

"like I said hectic - I'm alright. it doesn't matter" 

"hmmm- well only if you`re sure...." her voice trailed off and then she cleared her throat. "listen - I`ve had a bit of a break through" 

"with what?" 

"about you. where you were going - what you were doing" cora replied. "i have a sister who lives in Chichester. I was digging through some information and came across something. now - you remember you used an alias right? james Matthews. well - I think I found out where you went after London" cora pulled a piece of paper towards her. 

"okay?" 

"i spoke to my sister in Chichester. she says she saw someone who fits your description, so I dug deeper - and found out that you had left stuff in the bank there as well - almost like you were leaving a trail for your police friend to find" 

"chichester? I`ve never been to chichester" 

"well I have a strong feeling that this is you Sidney. you went to chichester." she thought for a moment. "i have an idea! maybe we could.." she was interrupted by Sidney. "nope" he shook his head. "i know what you`re going to suggest. no the answers no cora" 

"but it will be one step closer to finding out-"

he interrupted her again. "it will turn into another trip like London. I'm not going cora and that's that. besides I have sunday services to do I cant keep just leaving" 

"you finally went back then?" cora asked, smiling. 

"not - exactly" 

"what do you mean not exactly?" 

"this is my first service this week since I left last year." Sidney then went on to explain briefly what the archdeacon had said to him that morning. 

"oh.... well just try your best. I bet you`ll be fine." 

"hmm" 

"anyway going back to my original point-" 

Sidney sighed. "I`m not leaving cora."

"I`ll come with you Sidney. you know I would. I want to help you Sidney. I`m sure sam would come along as well. he wants to help you too you know that Sidney?" cora replied, arguing her side of the conversation. 

"hmmm" Sidney thought back to this morning, the argument they had had. speaking of him, where was he? he hadn't come back...

"Sidney? what`s wrong?" cora`s voice interrupted his thoughts.

"nothing - nothing.... we argued this morning. even if we did go to to chichester - he wouldn't come" Sidney replied. 

"oh I don't believe that for a second! there`s a friendship around you both that I can feels goes years back. " cora replied. "besides while you were in hospital he told me some of the crazy things you both got up to at college. pranks and such" 

Sidney groaned and leaned his head against the wall. "oh.... he didn't" 

"he did." cora could hear the embarrassment in his voice and laughed. "anyway what I'm trying to say is- despite things that happened last year - he still views you as a friend." 

"i know its just-" Sidney didn't know how to respond to that one. he waited for cora to say something else - if anything. 

"listen I have to go now but remember this Sidney. he`s willing to help you and so am I. " cora tried to keep the smile from her voice. "sam`s in this much deeper then both of you think - just not as quite as deep as you" 

"what do you mean?" 

"just think - when they attacked you - the only person you went to was sam right?" 

"right" Sidney hadn't a clue where this was going. 

"so in some way - if you like it or not- he`s protecting you Sidney. he`s getting involved in what these people want with you meaning he`s getting himself deeper and deeper. you need to tell him that. " cora waited for a response. when she received none she continued, " I really have to go now Sidney. i`ll talk to you soon okay? bye" 

the line went dead and Sidney put the phone down sighing softly. so many questions were whizzing through his brain. if it was indeed him cora`s sister was describing then what on earth was he doing in chichester? that was further then London from Cambridge. this was getting confusing. he wished he could go to sleep and wake up and find this had all been a dream. he headed back into his story and closed the door behind him - leaning his forehead against it, banging it a few times. he turned back to his desk and sat down, leaning his head into his hand. then did he notice a slip of paper and a photograph in the corner of his desk which he had never seen before. he took his hand way from his forehead and reached over to grab it, pulling it towards himself. he picked up the folded piece of paper and turned it around. on the front was the name SAM printed in his own handwriting. Sidney frowned. this was his own handwriting but how had he not noticed this and why hadn't he placed this along with the others. before he could process his thoughts a little slip of card fell out and he picked it up. he recognised the hand writing immediately. it was in sam`s sloppy handwriting. he started to read it... 

I`m sorry about what happened between us Sidney. I wish I could change it. its just a shame that you can`t remember our conversations we had when you stayed with me. we had talked through everything and it almost felt like nothing had changed from college. I'm also sorry about the argument we had earlier. i was going to give this to you personally but when i arrive back at the vicarage you were asleep at your desk. i didnt want to disturb you. by the time you read this I`ll probably be on my way back to London. don't worry I wont bother you anymore I understand. but if you ever need help you know where I am and you know my number. I thought I`d leave you this letter. you left it for me the morning you left. well in the early hours. you were gone by morning came. it was your goodbye to me. 

Sidney`s mind trailed off. he could almost hear the hurt in the words at the beginning. especially about him not remembering their conversations. he tried not to dwell on this and unfolded the piece of paper that was written in his handwriting to sam. 

sam, I'm sorry I left you so abruptly. I just had to go. it`s not safe for you to be around me anymore. I'm dangerous to myself and those around me and after last time I didn't want to cause you anymore trouble. I don't know if I can fight this and if I survive. it`s taking a lot out of me and I don't know how much longer I can go on. I`ve left something behind on purpose. I want you to look after it. it has everything to do with why they`re after me - look after it and if I don't survive Geordie will come for it. I`ve left clues for them to follow. I know you both don't get on but this is important. give it to him - he`ll know what to do. while you`re reading this I`ll probably be on way south. don't know where exactly I`ll go but I have to get away - lead them further from you as well. you`re getting too wrapped in all of this - they`ll be after you and I don`t want that to happen. you need to stay out of this - just forget me. it`ll make things so much easier. I'm leading them south so hopefully that will work out. I`m sorry about all this. remember what we went through. you know what to do in every possible situation. you know more then the rest of them sam and you need to reassure them for me. i`m sorry sam. 

so what sam had been saying was true. they had indeed had a conversation and had made up. Sidney just couldn't remember any of it. that must sting so badly. he suddenly wanted to turn back time - change everything he had said. but he knew that couldn't happen. he picked up the photograph and turned it round. it was a photo of them both along with Jen on sidney`s left that sam had kept since their first year. Sidney`s father had taken it when they had had a break from college. how young they both looked, even Jen. she had just been finishing secondary school. they both had an arm round eachother`s shoulder and Jen was sort of leaning in on Sidney`s left. they were all laughing at something behind the camera lens and he couldn't remember what they had all been laughing at. he reread a bit of the letter. "-while you`re reading this i`ll probably be on my way south" chichester was south from london. that mean cora`s concerns were correct. he had indeed gone south. "- im leading them south..." anger suddenly grew inside of him. this whole situation was sick. who were these people? why was anka and that after him? they had started on sam. that's why dorsen had recognised him yesterday. why couldn't these people just leave him alone? he looked up at the time and realised it was late evening and he still hadn't written his sermon for a few days time. he grabbed the letter and placed them both inside a draw, closing it shut. he had to get on with writing otherwise he was in for it big time. he would speak to Geordie tomorrow about this, about cora`s suspicions being correct. one thing he did know now , he was a danger to himself and those around him ... maybe that was the reason he had decided to stay away instead of coming back when he had firstly disappeared after what had happened with Gary.... 

it frightened him badly, more then he would care to admit. the archdeacon was correct. people were getting hurting because of him - his parishioners - everyone. it was his fault matthew had been taken - his fault anka was angry with the smiths and thererfore may have taken melanie. he pushed his chair away, fear aswell as anger bubbling away inside of him. the repeated words of " I'm dangerous to myself and those around me " were going through his head so fast , causing him to feel dizzy. his thoughts from earlier about turning back time were soon over taken. sam couldn't come back. it was too dangerous for him. he had to get out - anywhere. he stumbled out and headed towards the door. 

"where do you think you`re going at this time?" mrs m`s sharp tone sounded from the kitchen. 

Sidney turned half round. "fresh air - i need to clear my head." 

"alright but be back in half an hour. suppers nearly ready"

Sidney nodded and headed out although he had no intentions of coming back. he was doing it again - leaving these people - his friends - people who cared about him again. when would he see them again? anka and that may be in prison but there was still more after him. he had to leave them all again. he may hurt them again, make them feel guilty...

but at least they`ll be safe without him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geordie is extremely worried about Sidney , who`s now been missing for 13 hours.....

The phone suddenly rang, drawing Geordie out from his thoughts. Kathy was upstairs putting the kid's to bed. He had been thinking about the case - about Sidney - all possible connections. He stood up from the chair and answered the phone. "Hello?" 

"It's Sidney. He hasn't come back" mrs M's panicked voice sounded frantic on the other end. 

"Wait. Slow down mrs m. What do you mean he hasn't come back?" He asked. 

"He went out about 6. I said to him to come back in half an hour. It's been two hours and he hasn't come back. I'm worried inspector." 

Geordie's heart plummeted down to his shoes. "Calm down. I'll come straight over" he put the phone down and started frantically looking for his coat. Just then Kathy came down stairs. "Who was that?" 

"It was mrs m. Kathy - Sidney's gone missing again" 

Kathy could see the fear and concern edged in her husband's face. She came up to him and wrapped her arms round him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Maybe there's a simple explanation Geordie. He'll be fine" 

"I don't know. This is how last year started off. I can't risk losing him again" he untangled himself from her and grabbed his coat. "Mrs M's in a state. Im going to go round. I'll be back soon" he kissed her cheek as he shrugged his coat on over his shoulders. 

"Alright. See you later" she kissed him back. "Find him safe and sound Geordie" 

Geordie didn't respond but headed out to the car and climbed in, disturbing the night with the sudden roar of the engine. He pulled out and drove swiftly to the vicarage, pulling up several minutes later. He climbed out and was met by a frantic housekeeper. "He's gone. I know he has. Either that or someone has him" 

"Look calm down - where was he last?" 

"His study" 

"What happened before he left?" Geordie asked. 

"Well -sam and Sidney both argued really bad. He's gone now by the way and before that the archdeacon came round. Geordie - he's trying to drive him out. I heard what was said, well not all of it but some and he's trying to get Sidney removed from here" 

Geordie thought for a moment. "Could he have gone for either of those reasons?" 

"Well - sometimes he stays in. You know how he gets. But he's never done this before" mrs m replied. "Whats happened to him Geordie?" 

"I don't know yet" he pushed the door open slowly of Sidney's study and stepped inside. He immediately noticed broken pieces of glass sitting on the desk , a few small ones still littered by the wall. "He threw a glass at the wall" 

Mrs m stepped round him. "I told him to pick every bit of that up. It dangerous you know?" 

"Hmmm..." but Geordie wasn't really listening.he was trying to figure out what on earth was going through Sidney's head. He hasn't been himself since he came back. It was like one man had left and another had come back. "Why did he throw a glass?" 

"Because of what the archdeacon said I think. I heard it smash right after he left" 

"Then sam went in to see what was going on and they rowed? Then sam left" Geordie said guessing what next happened. 

"Yes" 

Geordie sighed and walked further in, noticing the empty bottle laying on the floor. He had been drinking - what news has he been given that was so bad? What had pushed him over the edge again? He noticed the draw, which wasn't quite shut. He heard mrs m as she left to go back out - probably to do some cleaning that took her mind of Sidney - and he opened the draw gently. He had never gone through Sidney's draw properly knowing it was private but considering it was half open he had recently gone through it before he had left. Inside he saw the letter in which had SAM written on the front and the note he had left. He picked it up, noticing the photograph underneath and reached it to pick it up. It took a while to realise he was looking at younger version of sam, Sidney and jen. He could see they were all laughing and realised how happy they looked. Before any of this had happened. He out it back and read the note which was in a handwriting he didn't recognise ; probably Sam's and then turned to the folded letter which was in Sidney's messy handwriting. He read it, then read it again. "Oh Sidney" he muttered. He knew why he had left. That one sentence that would have thrown Sidney's mind into guilt. "I'm dangerous to myself and those around me..." the conversation he had had with mrs huntson earlier - she also thought Sidney was dangerous to his parish. He was running again - so he didn't hurt no one else. He knew why he had left. He placed it back in the draw and stood up, going in search of mrs m. " Mind if I use the telephone?" 

"You know where it is. Geordie .. where is he?" Mrs m asked , fear evident in her voice. She was busying herself with the brasses. Poor brasses.... "we lost him once - I don't want to go through it again" 

"Neither do I mrs m. Neither do I" he said as he moved to the hall, picking the phone up and dialling a number. After several rings someone answered. "Hello?" 

"It's me, Geordie. Listen -sam, Is Sidney with you?" 

"No - why?" His southern accent seeming more thicker then usual.

"Sam - he's gone missing." 

"What? Why? What happened?" 

"Everything that happened - everything he had read. He feels like he's putting everyone in danger. He's gone" 

"What... But I was with him only this morning? He was perfectly fine then" 

"But you guys had argued." Georide replied back. "Mrs m told me" he explained. "He read what you had left him -His own letter he had left you from earlier. He's convinced he's a danger" 

Sam groaned. "I didn't leave it for him to think he was a danger just- so he knew what he had said to me" 

"I know. It's not just that - apparently the archdeacon thought he was a danger too" he cleared his throat. "I only called to see if he was with you" 

"Do you want me to come down?" 

Geordie shook his head. "No. its fine. we`ll find him. theres no need" 

silence was all that could be heard on the other end of the phone. Geordie sighed. "i wasn't trying to be rude. I just ... don't think its a good time. your presence a second time might not be good" 

"he`s my friend as well" he replied almost stubbornly. 

"well you should have thought about that before you came and ruined everything!" 

"Oh don't play that card again! I've already had this conversation with Sidney! It's just he can't remember what had been spoken between us!" Sam snapped back. 

"I only called if he was with you Sam. I'm not having any other form of discussion" Geordie retorted firmly. "We'll find him. You don't need to get yourself involved." 

"You should have thought about that before you called me saying Sidney's missing." came a very angry southern tinted voice. 

"Goodbye Sam. Don't come up to Cambridge." He put the phone down and briefly rested his head against the wall. Where could Sidney have gone? 

"Is he in London?" 

Geordie raised his eyes to face Mrs m's eyes that were glistening with anxiety. "He's not in London" he replied flatly. Then he cleared his throat. "But remember - he's only been gone for 2 and a half hours. He could still be in cambridge- at a push - still in Grantchester" 

"I hope you're right" she replied sadly.

"I'll start searching don't worry. What was he wearing?" 

Mrs m raised her eyebrow at him. "What he normally wears" 

"Oh right. Sorry" he replied hastily. He headed to the door. "He went missing once - I won't allow it to happen again" he said gently. 

She nodded, her voice momentarily gone. 

He left the vicarage and headed to his car. He was already forming a plan - he was going to search the area- keep a look out for him. How hard could it be to find a vicar? 

~*~   
Okay, very hard. It was nearly 10 o' clock and he has been roughly all around Grantchester. He had to call it a night. He just prayed that Sidney would be home the next morning. Maybe he had just gone to clear his head and would be back soon. He does that sometimes....

Yeah, but not for this long and this late, a little voice responded from the back of his mind. He ignored it and pushed off, turning direction to go back to his home. His eyes were itching with tiredness and he knew if he drove any longer he was going to end up in hospital. 

 

Kathy was woken from her slumber by the sound of a car door slamming. She stood up and pushed the curtain back slightly, peeking round. It was her husband. She opened the door and leaned against it, waiting for him to come inside. The soft gentle breeze blew past her, billowing her dressing gown around her ankles. "Any luck?" 

Geordie walked past her into the front room throwing his coat onto the back on the sofa. She came to stand behind him and snuggled into his back, arms round his abdomen. "I take that as a no" 

He sighed. "I'm sorry Kathy. I'm just worried" he had just thought before he had gotten back that maybe someone else had him, maybe he had been taken and thats why he hadn't found him. That was more worrying then the first idea. He hated both of them and in truth he was now scared. 

"He'll bounce back Geordie. He did before" 

"After three months Kathy...." 

"But he still did" Kathy replied. "He's not a child Geordie ..." 

"I know he isn't. He just-" 

"Feels like it to you" Kathy finished of for him. She squeezed him again. "He's a big lad - he can look after himself - it's nice that you worry about him though" 

Geordie sighed. "Yeah? That's all I seem to be doing lately. I'm aging with anxiety" 

"Well don't bet on it. I can see some frown lines coming along deeper...." She pressed her fingers against his forehead. 

"Get off it" Geordie pushed her hand away but had a smirk on his face. 

"Come on. It's late. The kids will be up at the crack of dawn." She started up the stairs and Geordie followed on, turning thre lights off. Once they were ready the lamp was turned off sealing the room in darkness. As the seconds ticked by the shadows seemed to move across the wall. He knew he was in for another sleepless night- since Sidney had gone missing the first time. It didn't help with four kids all under the age of 8 who thought the morning began as soon as the sun popped up. 

The hours slowly ticked by until they reached 5am where he realised he wasn't going to get to sleep anytime. He decided to get up, being careful not to wake anyone up and sat down in the living room. It was a bit lonely and left him to his thoughts...

But he was okay with that. He seemed to be left along with them a lot lately. Unanswered questions - untold stories. It just made everything confusing. He thought on everything that had happened in the last few days- Matthew being taken- then them finding him. Sidney's account on everything. There was a connection going on strongly here, with anka knowing Sidney - also knowing Melanie. She was the only one with a strong motive for taking Melanie. Sidney was definitely now deeper with what was going on. A definite strong connection. Sidney had to be connected to all of this. Maybe Sam was as well? Besides what was written in that letter was enough to know that Sam knew more then the rest of them - Sidney had stayed with him- talked with him. He remembered Cora talking about a diary that Sidney had written in. Maybe the answers to everything was in that? He knew Sidney had had a look through but he didn't think it was a proper look. Maybe there were clues inside of it- to help with the matters of anka and Melanie. 

The clock chimed 6:30. He had spent an hour and a half muddling through his thoughts. It was time to stop dwelling and do something. He headed upstairs to change and left a note for Kathy saying he had gone to work early - be back later. He peeked in to the kids and smiled softly- all dead to the world - wrapped up in their own dreams. He headed out into the darkened streets, the sky slowly glowing orange as the sun started to rise, opening up the day. 

He climbed into his car and headed towards the police station- he took the route that allowed him to pass the vicarage. He wanted , with all his heart, to see some sign of life that was Sidney was back, however as he passed it was all silent. Maybe he was in there just sleeping. It was early. He drove the rest of the way, deciding to do some work to take his mind off of Sidney. He couldn't get a search for him until he was classified as missing and that took up to 24 hours. He had to be gone for that time before anything can happen. he looked up at the time as he arrived in his office. It had just gone 7 now. He had been missing for 13 hours. 

"Some new stuff has just come in" Phil said standing in the doorway. 

"Hmm?" Geordie pulled himself from his thoughts and looked up at Phil. 

"A sighting just outside of Cambridge of Melanie. Someone called in saying they think they saw a young girl, Melanie's height and all with this person. They were getting into a car" he held out a photograph. 

Geordie took it from him. The car was black, difficult to tell which model and the drivers face was obscured. Looking closer he could just make out the word TAXI on the top.The girl climbing in had someone beside her, dressed in a light cream jacket and trousers, white T shirt. His face was too blurred to make out however the girls - it was clear enough to see that it was Melanie. 

"When did you get this?" 

"About 10 minutes ago" 

"Right. Call every taxi agency. I want to know which one provided transport for these. which driver drove them - everything" 

"Sure thing" Phil didn't turn around but continued to stand there. Finally he cleared his throat. "a call from Mrs m came through for you about 10 minutes ago also..." 

Geordie didn't say anything so he continued. "She said he's still missing" 

"Thank you. You can go now" he stood up, turning round proceeding in sorting out a bundle of files that needed to be sorted. 

"He's gone again hasn't he?" 

"I said you can go!" 

Phil knew better then to annoy him further so he left him to it, closing the door softly to allow him his privacy. 

Geordie chewed his lip for a bit. He was obvious now Sidney had done a runner. He had never spent an entire night away without warning of where he was going. When he left saying he would be back he obviously intended never to come back. He still couldn't do anything about it until the 24 hours. He decided to head out - talk through about what they had just found. He had to be doing something - anything to take his mind of Sidney. 

~~~~~~~~~   
He didn't know why he had come here - maybe because in fact he had missed him like hell as a friend or maybe because he had no where else to go considering he hadn't really planned this through properly. He had had lots of people smiling at him , one person had even started to speak to him as they had known him. It still felt weird but he guessed being here for goodness knows how long during those three long months he had to have made acquaintances.

So here he was now - in the middle of London- probably pissed of the rest of them in Grantchester again but at least he was further away. Further away so none of them could be hurt. He wasn't going to do a church service on Sunday - he didn't really care if he was moved with immediate effect anymore. He had removed himself already- by coming here. He wasn't going back. It was a mistake going back - maybe he should have stayed with Cora in Bristol or something. He tapped slightly on the door, leaning heavily. He was tired- he hadn't slept in the last 36 hours. Now thinking of it why hasn't he gone to Cora? It would have been better then where he was now - or maybe it just still seemed like second nature to him - coming to London when running away. 

Finally the door opened. 

"I'm sorry. About yesterday. I realise it must be hard on you considering I don't remember our conversations. I don't know why I'm here really it's just I have no where else to go. I've left - again. I`m sorry - I shouldn't have come back here again" 

Sam looked at him as he said this then he answered, "I know you've left. Geordie called me last night asking if you were here" 

"Already?" 

Sam nodded. "Well you have gone missing once Sidney. I don't think they want that to happen again" he leaned in the doorway, studying his friend. 

Sidney looked at the floor.

"You should go home Sidney. They'll be looking for you. They're going frantic" 

Sidney shrugged, his shoulders dropping. "I can't" 

"Yes you can. You can't keep coming to me - with what happened previously. No ones meant to know where I am , but now it seems soon the whole population of Grantchester will" he scoffed. 

"I'm sorry....." 

"I know you are ... You seem to always be sorry lately .... If you stopped messing around and thought logically of this whole situation you would stop pissing of a whole lot of people" 

"I'm not going back..." He shook his head vigorously. "I'm not ...." 

"Yes you are" Sam replied firmly. "Even if I have to drag you back to the train station I will" he placed both of his hands on Sidney's shoulders. "they need you Sidney. Go. I will drag you to the train station and place you on a train back" 

"I'll just get off..." Sidney mumbled. 

Sam shook him. "Why isn't anything going into that head of yours! You can't fix what happened! So stop trying too! Just learn to live with what you can't remember! It's never going to come back. Stop all this nonsense Sidney and go home.... You need to stop thinking that by you no longer being present everyone will suddenly be safe. No one will be safe Sidney - not until they have you. You can't keep doing this to everyone that cares about you Sidney ... You can't keep pushing them away ... You need them Sidney as well as they need you. Stop pushing them away ... Stop pushing Geordie away. You've already pushed me away , you don't need to keep doing that to everyone else." He took a deep breath in and shook him again. "Now go home and apologise to everyone. Go!" 

Sidney shook his head as he pushed Sam's hands away from him. "I'm not pushing everyone away! they're the ones pushing me away! They're all still so angry with me" 

"And you think by running away again will make it better huh? Stop this nonsense Sidney ... And go home" 

The exhaustion was taking a toll on him and tears of frustration started to leak down his cheeks before he could stop them. He knew Sam was being logical - he just didn't want to go back. He wanted an excuse to not go back. 

Sam noticed the tears and watched his friend crumble from the exhaustion his body was obviously feeling. He could tell Sidney hadn`t slept and therefore was wound up like a guitar string. There were a few people around today and they had started to take a notice to the two men arguing on a doorstep. He sighed and grabbed Sidney's wrist pulling him inside and shutting the door. He led him through to the front room and sat him down, going to get some water (he didn't want to give him anything stronger in the state he was in) and handed it to him wordlessly. Sidney took it but found his hands were shaking so much he spilled it down himself instead. He just couldn't seem to stop the tears. Every single emotion he had felt since he had come back were bubbling to the surface as well as the exhaustion. He was too exhausted to stop the tears - too exhausted to pretend everything was okay when everything was far from it. Sam pulled a chair over to him and sat in front of him leaning slightly towards him. He waited for Sidney to say something. Finally he did. "I'm - sorry for coming - here. I shouldn't - have come - back" 

Sam shook his head slowly. "I was too harsh on you im sorry. I guess I'm still feeling a little hurt that you can't remember our conversation all those months ago" 

"I'm sorry I can't ... I'll try - harder" 

"Don't. It's okay. Don't worry. Don't blame yourself" 

The sobs over powered Sidney again and Sam almost felt deja vu again as he remembered a similar situation the first time Sidney had appeared at his door. 

"But I do blame myself Sam..." 

"Don't" 

"Too late" 

Sam sighed. "It's not your fault. None of this is. I'm sorry" he placed his arm round Sidney, hugging him to him. Sidney cried harder then and they didn't speak for sometime. 

After a full 20 minutes his sobs seemed to died down and Sidney now had hiccups. "I'm sorry... I made your jumper wet" 

Sam laughed. "I have spare. You don't need to keep apologising for everything Sidney... Everything's not your fault" 

Sidney didn't know how to answer that. He always felt like everything was his fault lately. "That picture you left... I thought it had gone forever ... I looked hideous in that" 

Sam laughed again. "It was either you or Jen that gave it to me. I think it might have been you actually. " 

"Do you remember what we were laughing at?" Sidney asked as he pulled away from Sam and rubbed as his red, swollen eyes. 

Sam thought for a moment. "A joke your mum might have said about your dad constantly having to take photos or something" 

"Oh yeah. He always took photos of each year me and Jen moved into until I told him to stop because it was getting annoying" 

"It was funny though..." 

"Yeah it was...." 

Sam shifted slightly and turned serious. "We need to think about getting you on the next train back" 

Sidney shook his head and raised his red eyes to his. "I can't Sam- you don't understand..." 

He leaned forward again and placed his hand on his shoulder. "Then make me understand Sidney..." 

Sidney looked away. "It's complicated..." 

"Come on Sidney. It's me you're talking too" he squeezed his shoulder and let go. "Tell me what's going on. Why did you leave?" 

"I was a danger Sam.... People were getting hurt." He looked at him hastily. "People were getting hurt because of me" he said quietly. "That isn't right Sam.... It's not right... You of all should understand that .." 

I do understand but running away isn't going to stop this from happening Sidney...." 

"At least it will lead them away from grantchester wouldn't it?" 

"They could hurt someone Sidney... At any moment despite where you are - attempting to draw you out into the open" 

Sidney hadn't thought of that. If they were smart enough they would do that. He took a deep breath. "Did I really tell you everything?" 

"Not everything but more enough." He started to explain. "You told me that someone was after you, that they needed something. You kept a diary of what was going on. You said that if anything happened to me everything would be explained in that. You said that you left stuff in the bank- your goodbyes as you called them- you said you couldn't face them face to face. You didn't even know if you would see them again Anyways..." 

"That was also in the bank..." Sidney said thinking fast. "That diary...." He looked back up at Sam. "Does it have the answers? I only looked at it briefly." 

"Most. I'm not completely sure" 

"Did I go south?" He asked suddenly. "Like to Chichester?" 

Sam thought for a moment. "I don't know. Like I said - that letter was the last thing I heard from you. It drove me crazy - I didn't know if you were alive - if, with every passing day, you could be dying that day..." 

Sidney didn't reply, suddenly remembering something else Cora said. "There's one important question though ..." Sidney stood up. "Are they after you too?" 

Sam stood up as well. "I still think we need to talk about getting you home..." 

"No- I think you should answer me" Sidney said. "Are you involved in this because you keep helping me?" His eyes fell apon the slight scar going across his neck, which he had caused. 

"You`re not a danger Sidney... You need to remember that..." 

"So they're after you too" Sidney stated. 

"I didn't say that..." 

"You didn't need too" Sidney replied flatly. "Why they after you?" 

Sam looked at the ground, avoiding Sidney's eyes. "Because I kept you hidden from them - I kept you here making sure you were okay. I rescued you Sidney- you just don't remember" he looked back up again to see his reaction. "They took you one day from here, forced you out - they had hit me real hard. I lost consciousness. When I came round you had gone - it took me ages to find you. When I came across you you were semi conscious- bleeding from various wounds. I got you out of there on time. The doctor had said another hour and you wouldn't have made it." He studied him for a reaction. "They hold a grudge against me you see..." 

"Because you ruined their plans of killing me.." Sidney said the realisation dawning. 

"Pretty much - you left two days later leaving that letter. You thought I was better off without you - a danger to me" 

"I am Sam... If you hadn't known me you wouldn't be getting into this" 

"There you go again - blaming yourself. It's not your fault Sidney" Sam replied. "Can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?" 

"What do I do? I can't go back- people could be hurt. What do I do?" 

"Go back Sidney." Sam said. "Most of them are in prison aren't they?" 

Sidney nodded suddenly realising what he was saying. "They can't get me...." 

"exactly..." 

Sidney thought for a moment. "I need to find them alone. I need to know who they're working for. I need to see these people" 

Sam shook his head vigorously. "You can't Sidney. You don't know what they're capable off" 

"I need to know Sam. You don't know what it's like - waking up in a strange place with a complete stranger - not knowing what's happened to you for the last three months and the only thing you have are scars and injuries" 

"I know what it's like to watch someone who was your best friend almost die by the hands of these people..." Sam responded quietly. 

Sidney looked away. "What conversations did we have?" He moved to the window to look out, watching people go about their daily business. 

"We talked - about what had happened back in grantchester. You shouted at me something crazy and walked away - saying you should never have come here , never should have trusted me. You came back eventually - apologising as you always do and then we got talking. You said you had missed me as a friend and wanted to trust me with something really big." 

"I really did forgive you didn't I?" 

Sam nodded. "I'm sorry Sidney" 

Sidney nodded and looked back from the window. "I'm not saying what you did was right with Abigail but I'm not going to mention it anymore. If I trusted you enough with everything that was going on then I'm going to trust you again" 

"Thank you" 

Sidney stifled a yawn behind his hand. He was still so exhausted. He tried to hide it from Sam. 

"Didn't the archdeacon want you to take the service this week?" 

Sidney groaned. "I haven't written it yet- it's been so long i seemed to have forgotten how to write a sermon. I'm anxious Sam... I don't know what I'm going to expect and it scares me" he sat back down, feeling really exhausted. He had to force his eyes open. "But what does it matter - he threatened to get me removed if I'm not there Sunday. Maybe that's not such a bad idea..." 

Sam sat back down too, thinking. "Sidney - they need you down there. Don't get yourself removed. Stay. You love what you do..." 

"I need a new beginning Sam..." Sidney replied rubbing his eyes. "I need somewhere where I can start all over again ... Somewhere where I won't be remembered as the vicar who ran off- the vicar who has amnesia. I need a new beginning" 

"You're not still seriously thinking of leaving are you?" 

"I don't know Sam - I don't know... Maybe" 

"Well if you do leave Sidney - at least go on your own accord - not by the archdeacon removing you. It wouldn't look good" he stood up again. "Now you sleep. You look dead on your feet." 

"But there's so much still to discuss..." 

"We'll talk once you're not so tired. Go to sleep Sidney. You look like you need it. Bedrooms down the hall. On your left. Sleep for a few hours then we'll talk about getting you back to grantchester" 

"I've already told you - I'm not going back there" 

"I don't believe you for a second Sidney. Now go. You're exhausted." 

After a few more excuses he finally managed to get Sidney to go get some sleep, while he headed to make a call. After a few rings a voice answered. 

"Inspector keating" 

"Geordie? It's me Sam. Listen - I know you don't like me but I have Sidney" 

Silence was all that could be heard until Geordie finally answered. "He's with you? When did he arrive?" relief flooded through him.

"About an hour ago" 

"Is he okay?" 

Sam didn't think Sidney would want him to mention his exhaustion and tears. " he's fine. Exhausted but fine- a little mixed up. He's sleeping at the moment" 

"Do you want me to come collect him?" 

Sam didn't think Sidney would want that. Besides he didn't even want to go back and didn't even know he was calling Geordie. "I'll bring him back." 

Geordie started to protest but Sam cut in. "I'll be gone straight after don't worry - I just want to make sure he gets there." 

Geordie reluctantly agreed and the call was ended. Sam put it down and briefly leaned against the wall with his back against it. he knew he had to convince Sidney in going back. he was so certain that he wasn't going to go back and he didn't want him to lose his position as vicar of grantchester because of all of this. he pushed off the wall and headed to the bedroom peeking round. sure enough, Sidney was fast asleep. he`ll talk to him when he woke up - that is if he doesn't up and leave like he did last time.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his mind at rest, Geordie questions Madeline's sister about anka...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it seems to be dragging on, don't worry I have all my ideas collected now for the rest of it and how it ends. Hope you're all still enjoying my story. Thank you so much for all the kudos and your views and comments! It means a lot! :) also sorry if this is boring it's one of those in between chapters that need to happen before my ideas can come through  
> Ps school starts tomorrow and now I'm starting my A levels might not update as regularly but I'll try too  
> Pps I don't know what time Sidney's church starts church service so I just used to timing my church starts at

Now his mind was at ease- well almost at ease, he could think more clearly on what needed to be thought about. They really needed more information on anka so he decided to trace down where Madeline's sister, Natalie was. The more information they were getting with Melanie the more they needed to know as much about anka as possible. Also with what had happened with Sidney over the past week - it was becoming clearer he was linked to this somehow. Then again. - he had been linked to this from the very beginning, the moment when Madeline had recognised Sidney. 

So here he was now, sitting in the car outside Madeline's sister's house. He would have preferred to have brought Sidney with him- but that was obviously out of the question considering he was in London. Sam said he'll bring him back but.....

He would have preferred to have collected him himself at least that way he had no means of escape. He knew one thing though.... Once Sidney was back he was going to talk to him throughly, see what's going on in that head of his. He realised then that he had been sitting there for longer then necessary and hastily got out, slamming the car door shut. He headed up the path which was nearly hidden from view from the amount of weeds over growing spilling over and knocked on the door. 

Barks began on the other side of the door following by feet padding along towards the door. The door was opened and a girl no older then 5 appeared at the door, half hidden by the door. "Hello" 

"Hello. Is your mum in?" No sooner had the words left his mouth that he could hear someone else come to the door. "Annabelle! What have I said about answering the door! You're not the answer without me!" The door was open wider and a woman not much older then Madeline stood in front of him. Dark black hair running down past her shoulders with deep green eyes and a child on her hip. The child looked like it had recently been crying. 

"Yes? How may I help you?" She asked. 

"Police" he held up his pass. "Can I ask you a few questions?" 

"Is this about my niece and her disappearance?" She asked. "Stop it Annabelle!" She snapped as the younger child who had opened the door was grabbing onto the child on her mothers hip. 

"Yes I'm afraid it is" 

"Come in" she said, stepping aside, pulling her daughter to one side. Geordie stepped through, heading into the front room which had toys caking every inch of the floor. "Im sorry about the mess" she apologised as she came through, hastily picking up a few dolls from the floor. "I haven't had the time to clean" 

"It's okay. How many children have you got?"Geordie asked. 

"3 girls. The mess is unbelievable" 

"I know- I have 4 kids all under the age of 8." Geordie replied conversationally.

She smiled at him and pushed some toys off the sofa, sitting down and then indicating for him to sit down. As Geordie sat down, Natalie put the child that was on her hip on the floor and she immediately started to crawl away, picking up one of the dolls and following after Annabelle. 

"You requested this woman to your sister for a babysitter to babysit Melanie" Geordie started off, pulling out a photograph of anka. "What can you tell me about this woman?" 

"She had references that she was a good babysitter. She had recently moved from Poland and was learning more English. Of course - at first I was a bit wary of leaving her with my kids but they soon started to warm to her. She was a lovely woman, always polite." She stopped as her youngest daughter crawled to her, standing up and holding her arms out, beginning to cry. "I'm busy baby" she said gently but picked her up Anyways and the child snuggled closer to her mother. 

"Hello" Geordie cooed. "How old is she?" 

"2 next month" Natalie replied warmly. "Say hi Arabella" 

The child waved a chubby hand in Geordies direction and he waved back. He cleared his throat. "Did she ever - lose her temper with any of your kids?" 

"Not as far as I know" Natalie replied. 

"They never seemed to have unexplained bruises after anka had looked after them?" 

Natalie went to shake her head when suddenly her eyes seemed to be searching for a memory as if the realisation had hit her. "Annabelle" she whispered. 

"Pardon?" 

"Annabelle" Natalie replied louder this time. "She had this bruise on her rib cage- I asked her how she got in and she said she had fallen. I didn't think much of it..... Annabelle! Come here a minute darling!" 

Soft padding feet sounded from upstairs coming down the stairs. "Yes mummy" 

"Come here sweetie. I just need to ask you something and you need to answer it truthfully" Natalie said sternly. "That bruise you got on your ribs. Did anka do it?" 

Annabelle started to squirm under her mothers eyes. 

"Annabelle... Did she?" She asked. "You shouldn't lie to me Annabelle. You know what the consequences of Lying is" 

Annabelle nodded slowly and let her hair fall into her face. She started sniffling. "She said she had a headache and to be quiet. So I went upstairs with Anya.." Upon hearing her name the middle child that looked so much like Natalie appeared behind her sister. She looked no more then 3 or 4 years old. "We was playing a game and Anya started to squeal a lot and so did I. I came running down the stairs and anka met me at the bottom. She was angry with me mummy." Tears started to leak from her eyes. "She grabbed my arms and shook me before hitting me really harsh on the ribs. I went upstairs crying. Later she comes and finds me and says that I'm not to tell. I'm sorry mummy!" Sobs rose from Annabelle and she covered her face. 

"Oh come here baby" Natalie held out her spare arm and Annabelle ran over, burying her face into her mothers shoulder. She stroked her hair and kissed her cheek. Anya, getting tired, started to fuss and moan, seeking attention and tried to push Annabelle out of the way. 

"Not now Anya. Your sisters upset" she said softly. 

Anya stamped her foot and sat on the floor, arms folded. 

Natalie couldn't help but laugh. "You're so funny Anya" 

"Stop laughing mummy!" She squeaked and scowled harder. 

"Did anka say where she had references from?" Geordie asked. 

Natalie shook her head. "She didn't say. All it said was that she was a great babysitter. she had lots of ratings all at 5s. Who was I to think differently?" 

"So you recommended her to your sister. How come you moved her on?" 

"I lost my job you see. So I no longer needed her. When I told her, I admit she seemed strange, like a glint in her eye had changed and it scared me so I recommended her to my sister. Madeline needed someone for Melanie." 

"Did anka ever at all seem to behave differently at any time?" 

Natalie shook her head. "Not as far as I can remember - although - when I told her about my sister and her daughter her eyes lit up. Then afterwards I heard her on the phone at first it was polish then it switched to English" 

"What did she say?" 

"Four words. That's all she said. 'The plans coming together' that's what she said. I didn't think much of it at first but now...." 

"Do you know who she was on the phone too?" 

Natalie shook her head. "She likes to keep herself private" she groaned. "What have I done? It's my fault Melanie's missing. I should have realised right from the start..." 

"None of this is your fault" Geordie said sternly. "Did she you ever see her again after that?" 

Natalie started to shake her head but then she nodded. "Yes I did actually - I was coming home with some shopping. Kids were at home with their dad. She was walking the opposite way and she seemed - angry. I asked her what's wrong and she started to ramble on about a man who had saved melanie from some evil people and had brought her home and now Melanie adores him so much. She was so angry that she had lost the girls affections. She had never had children herself you see..." She cleared her throat. "I said that she was still Melanie's babysitter but she shook her head and said they won't need me anymore- not since he got in the way - sorry I never found out his name- and that she was done here. She had this wild glint in her eye and she said to me 'don't worry. I'll get my job back. Melanie adores me. I'll make sure the boys gone forever' I was a little alarmed but then had to rush home quickly. I should have realised something was up. I was going to tell Madeline about my suspicions but then Anya got ill and I had to take her to the hospital. It's all my fault" 

"It's not your fault you niece was taken Natalie" Geordie replied. "Did Melanie ever talk to you - about this man?" 

Natalie nodded. "The last time she came round which was a few days before she went missing she was rambling on about how he had suddenly left them. Someone was after him or something. She said she was going to miss him that she had grown fond of him. Of course - being a mother I could spot straight away she had developed a crush. I asked her if anka was happy now she was babysitting you again and she had shaken her head. She said she was behaving differently , kept checking outside, kept asking weird questions about the man who had stayed with them, biting her nails. Something wasn't right she had told me. Her words were 'she's up to something auntie. Something bad- it's like she planning something to do to him or her and it was scaring her' that's what she said. Of course Madeline came to pick her up and nothing was said. She made me not tell and then two days later she disappears" 

"Hmmm.... Did Melanie ever tell you anything that went on between the man and anka?" 

"She once told me that she didn't like anka anymore. She had changed. She kept watching the boys every move and threatened him every chance she got. At one point Melanie found anka grabbing onto him, shaking him. Asking him about this list - but he was refusing her to have it, saying he'll die trying to get her away from it. Melanie said she had heard her slap him and then started to mutter something in polish. He had replied back in polish almost snarling at her and then for the rest of the day he seemed dazed almost. Then he left suddenly the next day to London." 

Geordie couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sidney had known her right from the beginning. She had known him straight from the beginning. How long had she been watching him? All these questions seemed to race through his mind so fast it made him dizzy. 

"Hello? Are you okay? You dazed out there"

Geordie brought himself back to the present. "I'm fine. Sorry- i better go. Thank you for everything. That really helps" he started walking to the door, Natalie following. "If you remember anything else..." 

She nodded. "Of course" 

Geordie said goodbye to the girls and headed to the car, mind still racing. He was halfway to the vicarage when he realised Sidney wasn't there. He carried on anyway. Mrs m didn't know that Sidney was with Sam. 

He knocked on the door and Mrs m opened it. "He's still missing if that's what you came to ask" 

Geordie shook his head. "I know where he is" 

Mrs m's eyes opened wider and relief flooded through her. "Where has that boy gotten to now?" 

"London. He's in London. Sam called me about hour ago telling me Sidney had arrived." 

"Is he okay?" 

"Exhausted and a little mixed up were the words Sam used to describe him" 

"Thank you Geordie. Do you want to come in?" 

Geordie shook his head. "I've just come from questioning someone I better go back to the station..." 

She nodded. "Is he coming back?" 

Geordie nodded. "Sam's bringing him back" 

She nodded, thinking hard. "I remember them both you know - when they were younger and still at school. The vicar I used to look after before Sidney was someone who used to teach them both. Sometimes they used to come back here- finishing off work they hadn't done in class. A right pair he used to call them, inseparable as well. You wouldn't find one without the other being close by. Best friends they were - until they drifted. It's a shame really ..." 

Geordie nodded. 

"Sorry - I don't know why I'm telling you this..." She shifted. "I just hope he's back soon. That sermon still needs to be written and it's Sunday in two days" 

Geordie had almost forgotten that. "He'll be back tomorrow." 

"He better. Otherwise it won't only be the archdeacon that will kill him."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"You need to go back Sidney..." 

"I'm not going back. I've already told you. There's no reason for going back" 

"Yes there is" 

"No there really isn't.." 

They had been at each other's throat about this since they both had woken up. Well since Sidney had woken up. Sam had spent most of the night thinking. Sidney was so adamant that he couldn't go back but Sam had other ideas. "Sidney- they need you. You need to go back" 

"I don't want too! who says I need to?" 

"I do! Now let's get your stubborn arse on a bloody train heading back to Cambridge!" Sam shouted back. 

Sidney scowled at him." Why can't you just except my choices!" 

"Because I know you're not thinking clearly" 

"Don't tell me you know what I'm thinking because you don't" Sidney snapped back. "I'm not going back. And you had no right to call Geordie last night and tell him I was coming back when I clearly told you I wasn't going back" 

"He was worried about you. I had every right to tell him you were safe Sidney. He cares for you greatly" 

Sidney scowled at him further. "I thought of everyone you would understand why I can't go back" 

"I do Sidney. Believe me. But I think you should at least try. You have Sunday service tomorrow. You need to do it Sidney.... He'll kill you if you don't" 

"What's the point?" Sidney said falling back against the back of the sofa sighing heavily. 

"There's always a point Sidney. Don't you forget it. Remember when we first started out? You were so nervous but so excited to do your first service by yourself. Where did that go? Just go back Sidney..." 

"It isn't so much about that" Sidney replied. 

"I know what's it's about Sidney. But think: if you go back you can protect them easier then being further away. The nearer you are the more you can make sure nothing happens to anyone" Sam said. He watched the turmoil click through Sidney's head. His eyes were now glittering with uncertainty. "The further away you are the more likely people will get hurt. If you stay you can prevent these things happening" 

The glittering of uncertainty in his eyes grew more and Sam could see he was starting to see reason. 

"If I'm around though people just keep getting hurt..." Sidney said shaking his head, the uncertainty clearing from his eyes. "Matthew was kidnapped to use as bait to lure me in" 

"But think about it - if you go back then you can prevent anything else from happening" 

"How? I'm not a miracle worker" Sidney said sarcastically bringing his hands up to cover his face. 

"Look these people are after you yes? If you vanish from the place they know you live in they're going to start asking questions. They may even torture them to get information on you. Would you want that?" 

Sidney thought of everyone back in Grantchester. It wasn't a pleasant thought to think of them being tortured to get information on him. " no I wouldn't want that..." He admitted, bringing his hands from his face. 

"You seeing my reasoning now?" 

"Yes. Damn it you're starting to sound like someone who's causious all the time" 

"Is that a bad thing?" 

"No just shows you've matured since college" Sidney teased. 

Sam laughed. "Speak for yourself" he turned serious. "So you going back?" 

Sidney sighed. "Grantchester needs me. I need to be there" 

Sam clapped him on the shoulder. "Glad you're seeing from my point of view Sidney" 

"Don't get used to it" 

Sam ignored him and looked at the time. "If I remember correctly a train going to Cambridge is at 4:26. In two hours"

"That gives us time to talk" Sidney said. 

"About what?" Sam asked as he sat down, but he could guess what Sidney wanted to talk about. 

"You told me they had taken me from here. Did you see who it was?" 

Great. The first question Sidney asked and he couldn't actually answer that. He shook his head. "They were dressed in black. When I started to interfere in them getting you they hit me pretty quick. Fell unconscious immediately?" 

"Do you think it was anka?" 

Again he shook his head. "I don't think so. She's polish. Got an accent" 

"Hmmm" Sidney didn't sound convinced. Then he stood up. "If I go back to grantchester ... Will you be okay?" 

"No Sidney- you're going back to grantchester and that's that" 

"They're after you too. What if-" 

Sam interrupted, getting up from the sofa as well. "I'll be fine. They haven't done anything to me in the last three months. They may have forgotten all about me" 

"How? You saved me a few days ago- you heard the description Emily have. She discribed both of us" he emphasised the word both. 

"They don't know Im here Sidney I'll be fine" 

"They came here to take me away all those months ago" Sidney said uncertainly. 

"It doesn't matter. Now quick - we better leave. The trains in an hour" Sam abruptly said ending all means of a conversation. "Come on- lets get you back home" 

~~~~~~~~~~  
Three hours later the train pulled into grantchester. Sidney was still trying to see reason why Sam had to come all the way with him.

"Because -" Sam started to explain for what seemed like the thousand time. "We don't want you changing your mind and running off halfway through the journey and ending up goodness knows where" 

"I wouldn't..." Sidney said half heartedly although he had long since given up the fight. 

They hopped of the train and prepared to walk up to the vicarage. His ankle was starting to hurt again with the amount of walking he done over the past day. The closer they got the more Sidney started to slow down. The sky's had started to darken up, the sun setting sending a soft orange flow across the floor. As it was early February it got dark at around 5 in the afternoon. 

"Stop slowing down Sidney. It's getting dark and in case you hadn't noticed I have to get back to London" 

"Well I didn't ask you to come all this way did I?" Sidney snapped. "I don't need a babysitter" 

Sam sighed irritably and continued walking. 

"Sorry" came a flat response seconds later. "I didn't mean to snap" he was limping badly now. 

"It's fine. But could we get moving? I know your ankle is paining you but I don't think you should be wondering around in the dark especially if they're somewhere out there" 

"I know. Im sorry" 

They reached the vicarage just as the last rays of sunlight slipped away and the streets darkened. Sidney reached up to knock and stepped back slightly to sort of hide behind Sam but he could already see what Sidney was going to do so he grabbed his arm and dragged him back in front of him just as the door opened. Sidney waited for the usual shouting and telling off he normally got from Mrs m instead there was silence until ... 

"Please don't ever do that to us again Sidney. You disappeared once - we don't want that again" 

"I'm sorry - I wasn't thinking clearly" Sidney admitted. 

"You haven't been yourself for a while Sidney. It's okay to admit you're struggling..." Mrs m said gently, nothing like the Mrs m he was used to. In truth it scared him a little, but in a good way. 

"I'm fine Mrs m. I promise. I'll think more clearly in future" Sidney replied. 

Mrs m stepped back to allow him through as well as Sam and shut the door. "It's cold out there. I'll make some tea" she bristled off. 

Sidney sighed and sat down. He was tired - again. He blamed the train journey. 

Mrs m came back. "Geordie was beside himself with worry when you went" 

"Is this a guilt trip Mrs m" Sidney replied more anger then he meant. He hope she didn't notice. 

However she did. "You keep giving us something to worry about you do" she said sharply. "All these people after you" 

"They're after Sam as well" 

"Why?" 

"Because he protected me during the few weeks I was with him" Sidney replied to his housekeeper. "I'm sorry I left - I thought you were all better without me" 

Mrs m's expression softened. "No we wouldn't. We'd all be lost without you Sidney" 

Sidney avoided the concerned look in her eyes and looked at the floor. 

Mrs m cleared her throat. She looked out the window, the streets completely dark now. She turned to Sam. "You stay here the night. I don't want you go back out there especially if what Sidney says is true" 

"No. I'm alright. I'll go back. I shouldn't even be here..." Sam's voice trailed off. 

"Stay" Mrs m said, resuming some of her sharpness back. "I'm not allowing you to go back" 

"No use arguing Sam" Sidney added. 

"Fine. Ermm... Thank you" 

"And you Mr chambers." Mrs m fully returning to her sharp tone. "You need to write that sermon. It's Sunday tomorrow. I'm not letting you be removed from here Sidney. I refuse you to be moved" there you go, that's the Mrs m he knew. 

"Okay" Sidney sighed, rubbing his forehead, a headache was coming on and he knew it was going to get worse. He hurried to his study , eager to get it over with. 

 

No more then half an hour of him returning a knock pounded on the door and Geordie appeared in the doorway of his study seconds later. "Bloody hell Sidney! You had me ripping out my hair with worry! Don't you ever think how badly your disappearances affect the rest of us huh? Don't you realise you hurt the rest of you while you're off galavanting!"

Sidney listened to his friend ramble on and on, his voice getting louder. He avoided looking at him and started to write again. 

"Will you just listen to me for one second Sidney!" He grabbed his arm and yanked him away from the desk, his anger bubbling to the surface. Sidney reacted to the sudden attack. "Let go of me!" 

Geordie dropped his arm but the anger remained in his face. "Have you any idea what you put us through? What you put me through!?" 

"I'm sorry Geordie... " 

"Will you just stop saying sorry for one second! All you seem to be doing is apologising! Maybe if you stopped pissing everyone off you wouldn't have the need to apologise!" 

"Geordie please... I can explain-" 

"I don't want an explanation Sidney!" He snapped turning round then turning back. "You know what? You know what you said about can I ever forgive you? Well I have your answer Sidney! The answers no! You just don't care about how other people feel you only care about yourself! Your selfish bastard." 

That hurt a lot and Sidney was speechless. 

"I don't think you should be shouting at Sidney like that. It's not his fault" came Sam's southern accent from behind Geordie. 

Geordie whipped round to face him. "I think you should stay out of this. I thought you said you were going back home when you dropped him here! Stay out of this!" 

"Leave him alone Geordie he hasn't done anything wrong" Sidney said flatly. "Mrs m let him stay. They're after him too..." 

"I don't really care!" He turned back to Sidney. "I've tried to help you but you just won't let me help you Sidney! I don't know what else to do!" 

"I'm so sorry Geordie.... I really am... I thought you would be better of without me..." 

"There you go! Thinking again! It's not your strong point Sidney!" He shouted. "Now I'm going to go- see if I can straighten this all out in my head." He turned to go but Sidney grabbed his arm, spinning his round. "Geordie - please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you" 

"It's a little late for that don't you think?" Geordie said, before turning round and walking off. "I'll let myself out!" He called. 

Sidney heard the door bang and then he sunk back into his seat, banging his head against the desk a few times. "It was a bad idea coming back Sam... I told you I'm hurting everyone around me" 

"He'll come round Sidney... He just needs time to think and cool down" 

Sidney didn't respond but brought his typewriter closer to him, not that he would be writing much. His thoughts were distracted but he knew he had to get it down, however the more he thought about what would happen if he didn't turn up tomorrow the more sick and nervous he got. Finally the nerves grew to much and he threw his hands up in frustration. "I can't do this!" 

"Yes you can Sidney" Sam said coming to stand beside Sidney, leaning against the desk. 

"No I can't Sam!" He snapped back. "I should never have come back! I've ruined my friendship with Geordie - again! - just when it was getting back to normal and now I'm going to be moved from here tomorrow because my damn headache won't let me concentrate!" 

"Look calm down. Take some medicine and then try again" 

Sidney shook his head. "Don't tell me to calm down! Just - leave me alone!" 

Sam held his hands up. "Fine fine" he backed out of the door and headed out to the front room. Sidney slammed his study door and sat back down, fuming. He wasn't really angry with Sam, more with everything else. He took a few deep calming breaths and turned back to read through what he had just written. He drummed his fingers before an idea hit him and he started typing. During a brief moment he pulled a glass towards , pulling himself some whisky, letting it warm his throat and somehow numbing his headache before he started typing again.... 

She was standing behind him, a finger tracing the back of his neck. "Such a shame we're going to have to kill you - I had such plans for you ... " 

"Get your hands of me" Sidney hissed. 

The attackers hand moved to the front of his neck and tipped his head back, gripping tightly, not allowing him enough air. "You'll tell me soon enough- I know you won't tell anka but with me - well- I can be a little persuasive" she traced her other finger gently down his jaw line and he jerked his face away but she squeezed tighter against his neck. "Tut tut" she said seductively. "Stop being a bad boy and behave...." 

"Let me go" he growled. 

"Tut tut" she replied again. 

Swirling blackness began and then the scene changed, same chair , same room but he had more blood on him. His vision was going in and out of focus and he could feel his consciousness slipping away. He could feel the exhaustion and the blood that was dripping down from a bullet wound in his shoulder. It wasn't deep but it had lost a fair amount of blood and it was showing. He allowed his eyes to close as a strange ringing sound entered his ears. He could feel a presence next to him and he willed his eyes to open however his vision was blurred. "Now- don't make a sound okay? Otherwise -" she drew a hand across her neck. He looked up briefly and the woman that had kept her face hidden for so long had nothing hiding it. Her face was blurry but he could tell she had dark red hair, and bright green eyes. Her eyes were wide and she had freckles covering her cheeks. In another life, he could have fallen in love with her but he could see the evil glit glittering in her eyes. "Shhhhh" she held her finger to his lips, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

His eyes closed again, consciousness being sucked from him but not before he heard a commotion and he looked up in time to see a blurred shape of black finding against the woman. Her flaming red hair danced as she started to fight against him but he pushed her against the wall, momentarily stunning her. As he came into the light Sidney saw it was Sam. He smiled softly but the exhaustion was sucking the consciousness from him. 

"I'm going to get you out of here... Just hang on a little longer Sidney" 

And then he could hear Sam's voice again but from somewhere afar as his vision turned misty. 

"Sidney? Sidney? Can you hear me? Come on- wake up for me .... Sidney?" 

"When did this happen?" 

"I've only just came in- he was already on the floor. I don't know what happened..." 

"Sidney? Sidney? Can you answer for me please?" He felt someone touch his forehead. 

Sidney groaned. The only noise he could make. 

"Thank goodness! Sidney? Can you say something? Are you with us?"Came Sam's voice again. 

Sidney groaned again and lifted his arm up his face, turning his face away from the window. "G'away" 

"Sidney. Come on, open your eyes for us" 

What was Geordie doing back here? He groaned again. "What happened?" 

"I don't know Sidney- all I know is you're scaring the crap out of me and I don't like it" Sam said. 

Sidney praised his eyes open and the sudden light made him close them again but he forced them to re open them. He was on his back, collar had been taken off. "What happened? Someone please tell me?" He struggled to sit up but he felt Sam's hand push him back. "Stay down for a second" 

"I don't want to" Sidney groaned. "Feel sick" as if to prove his point he started to breathe shallowly, his nausea from before had come back with force. 

Sam grabbed his wrist pulling him up, as Sidney came up with him and threw a bowl in his direction. "Just in case" 

Before Sidney could respond he found use of the bowl pretty quickly and the others waited for him until it was over. 

"You're okay Sidney" Geordie said encouragingly. 

Sidney didn't respond as he threw up again. "Ugh- this is disgusting" 

"Like I said before - better in then out" Geordie said. 

Once Sidney felt the nausea start to leave him he wiped a sleeve across his mouth. "What happened? The last thing I remember I was writing my sermon" 

"That would be for Sam to answer" Geordie said looking towards him. 

"You were quiet for ages, too quite. We could hear no noise from your study Sidney. So I got up to check you and pushed the door open. You were on the floor, unconscious. You were groaning and crying out frequently and then you stilled. You started to tremble for a while, scaring the crap out of me, I didn't know what was happening! I thought for a minute you were having some kind of seizure but then you stopped. you wouldn't wake up Sidney. we were all beside ourselves with worry" Sam explained. "That's when I called Geordie" 

"Did you see anything Sidney?" 

Sidney raised his eyes to Geordie and nodded. "I saw something- I saw a woman-" 

"Anka?" 

Sidney shook his head. "No- someone else- someone with red hair" his headache was back and he rubbed his forehead. "Then I saw Sam..." He started to breathe heavily and brought the bowl closer, throwing up. "I can't ..." 

"You can't what?" 

"Answer your questions... Head hurts..." 

Geordie sighed. "Let's get you to bed" 

Sidney shook his head. "I need to finish my - sermon" 

Geordie shook his head. "You're not well. You're going to bed now!" 

Sidney didn't have time to argue as he threw up again. 

"Come on" Geordie said. Once Sidney had stopped he grabbed Sidney's arm and hand and pulled him up with him. 

Sam followed on the other side. Sidney's legs felt like jelly and his head started to pound. 

"Come on. Up the stairs" Geordie said as they took him to the stairs. Mrs m called out. "Phil's getting impatient Geordie! He said he's gonna leave you!" 

"Oh bloody hell" Geordie gritted his teeth. 

"Go." Sam said. "I'll take him" 

Geordie gritted his teeth again. 

"I'll look after him. Go. " Sam said softly. "I called you when you were busy. I'm sorry." 

"It's nothing to be sorry about. But I gotta go now. Look after him I'll be back tomorrow" with a glance at Sidney he headed out. 

"Wait - Geordie" Sidney said, but his voice was weak. 

"Come on. Let's get you upstairs" Sam said gently, grabbing his arm and placing his arm round his waist, helping him up the stairs. 

Sidney didn't even undress as Sam set him on the bed. Sidney laid back, falling asleep immediately. Sam pulled a sheet out covering him up before leaving and pulling the door on jar, just in case. His hands were still shaking from what happened. He had never witnessed something like that before and it scared him. He took a few deep calming breaths willing his mind to focus and then he headed downstairs. For once, he had been glad that Geordie had come when he had called.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sun light pierced through the curtains streaming over Sidney. He groaned and lifted his hand to rub at his eyes before slowly opening them. He half expected to be at his desk, having fallen asleep but he was in bed, fully clothed. He sat up, disoriented and confused. He looked at the time reading only 8 in the morning. No current memory from last night penetrated his mind and it was confusing him more. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and then went to lay back down when he froze. It was Sunday today meaning... 

"Crap" he exclaimed, jumping of the bed and throwing the door open. Everything from last night seemed to fly through his mind quickly in order and he ran down the stairs. 

"What the dickens..." Came Mrs m's voice as she came to stand by the stairs. "What on earth are you doing?" 

"It's Sunday" Sidney replied as he came to stop beside her. 

"It may be Sunday but you're ill. Get back up there" 

Sidney shook his head. "I'm fine. I promise." Before he allowed her time to finish he darted into his study and went to his desk, however the sermon he had been writing had been finished. He stared at it puzzled until he heard someone come to the door. "I knew roughly what you were trying to say so I finished it off for you. You weren't exactly stable last night. You can change it if you want" 

"No - no it's fine" Sidney said. "Thank you" 

"What exactly happened last night... You went crazy" 

Sidney looked down. "I remember" 

"Remember what?" 

"What happened when you came to rescue me from someone. It wasn't Anka" 

"I know." Sam said. "Wait- is that what you saw- when you went unconscious?" 

Sidney nodded. "I've never seen the woman before. I don't know who she is" 

"Hmmmm" 

Just then Sidney's eyes started to move as something dawned on him. "The church wall! I almost forgot! I haven't painted it yet!" 

"The church wall?" Sam echoed. 

Sidney turned back. "The brother of anka- he wrote a word on the wall in paint - something that wasn't pleasant" he turned back round talking as he went. "He will kill me if it isn't done" 

"Have you got the paint?" Sam asked. 

Sidney nodded. "I just didn't have time to paint it - to be honest I forgot all about it" 

"How long do we have till church service?" 

"10:30" 

"That gives us -" Sam looked somewhere for the time, turning back when he saw it. "An hour and a half"


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney does a sermon for the first time in his church.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep me again! hope you`re all liking my story still. psalm 27 is one of my favourites which I read every time my anxiety gets the better of me. I was adapting it to something Sidney would say as I'm not from a church of England back ground or anything but I hope it was still good anyways!  
> more excitement is to come in the next few chapters so my warning to you all is ......  
> be prepared!

"Do you think people will notice it's been painted?" 

"Who cares. It's roughly the same colour" Sidney replied. His hands were already covered in brown paint and he had a few specks of paint on his cheeks. 

They continued on for a few minutes in silence until sam broke it. "What was the woman doing to you? In your flashback I mean" 

Sidney didn't respond for so long that Sam was beginning to think he wouldn't answer until Sidney cleared his throat. "She was talking to me about getting the answers to something. Then the scene changed and i was covered in blood. I had been shot in the shoulder. She started to talk to me again and then I heard a commotion." Sidney glanced over towards Sam who was busying himself with the bottom of the wall, crouching down, specks of paint on his forehead. "It was you" 

Sam laughed nervously. "I remember that. Damn I thought she had near killed you!" He said, Then quieter " even the doctor thought so too" 

Sidney didn't respond, but continued painting for several minutes. As he reached down to dip the paintbrush in the tub of paint he accidently knocked it slightly with his foot and some brown paint splashed out, covering Sam's lower leg in paint. "Hey!" He said, looking up at Sidney, standing up. 

"Sorry it was an accident" but Sidney couldn't help but laugh. 

"Easy for you to say" with timed accuracy he dapped his paint brush towards Sidney, catching his cheek. 

"Hey! At least mine was an accident!" Sidney did it back, catching his hand, drawing a line going up his hand. 

Sam flicked his paint brush which sent specks going over Sidney. Soon paint was covering more of them then it was the wall. 

"You're meant to paint the wall not paint each other" came a sharp reply but they could hear the smile in her voice. 

Sam and Sidney turned round to find Mrs m standing a few metres away. "You better hurry with the wall. It's nearly 10" 

"Ah" Sidney exclaimed and they quickly turned their paintbrushes back to the wall and hurriedly covered up the word. Once they were finished they quickly packed up the paint and ran over to the vicarage. The paint on them was drying fast and it was becoming stiff. They dumped it in the doorway of the vicarage and Sidney darted upstairs to change and get the paint out from his skin. 

Mrs m shook her head. "Like a pair of school boys you both are" she headed out to the kitchen where Leonard was preparing to get ready to go down to the church. She didn't believe Sidney was going to make in time but then again when he had he ever let them down. 

Half an hour later Sidney was in the back of the church, trying and unsuccessfully to straightened out the ribbon that goes around his neck. With one hand it was definitely proving difficult. 

"You okay? It's nearly 10:30" Sam asked, peaking his head round the door. 

"In a minute" Sidney replied. "Can't get this to straightened..." He said more to himself. 

Sam came forward and straightened it for him. "Now I'm going to go back to the vicarage. Remember - you can do this" 

Sidney nodded, feeling the tension building in his stomach. Sam crossed his fingers as he walked out and headed out to the vicarage. Sidney took a deep breath and headed out as well but to the main church instead. he was more nervous then he wanted to admit. the last time he had felt like this was when he had done his first ever sermon on his own. but that had quickly disappeared the second time. why now? he could kind of guess why really - the same reason he had given Cora all those weeks ago when she had first asked. he actually missed Cora now, he wondered what she was doing right now. he made a mental note to call her later. see how she was. he knew what he was preaching on today - psalm 27. it seemed to fit his situation right now but was also so comforting to read it, especially when you`re frightened. he had almost memorised the psalm but not quite. he took a deep breath, and headed out probably. the church was near enough full now and he was due to start at any moment. with a sinking feeling he noticed the archdeacon towards the back just like he had said. he was here to make sure he had turned up. his sudden presence seemed to satisfy the archdeacon and Sidney looked away. he could hear the whispers that went round. he knew they were discussing him - him and his disappearing act for the last 4 months considering he hadn't done a service since the middle of October and now it was the beginning of February. he wondered what kind of response Mrs M and Leonard had given to those who had been brave enough to ask where he had gone. to be honest he didn't want to think obout that. it was in the past, done for. 

except his past seemed to be catching up with him and it was harming those around him but enough of those thoughts of the past - he had to give a service to those in the present. he pushed his dark thoughts away and stood where he normally did. his hands were starting to shake just a little but he pushed the fear and nerves away from his mind and started. he welcomed everyone and then they started with a song. to his own ears he could his voice was shaking a little as well, wasn't there anything of him that wasn't? while singing he could see over the hymn book that people were still giving him looks. great- he was stepping into his own nightmare that his mind had created since he had gotten back. he hoped once he hit the sermon he was more confident. 

After a few more things that needed to be said , Sidney could start his sermon. he thought back to his write up of it last night. okay , you can do this. you can do this. he thought to himself. 

"fear is something we all face during our lifes, either through difficult situations or starting in a new area. " he could already feel his confidence starting to build. "but when fear seems to over take our minds remember the lord is with you all. the first verse of psalm 27 springs to mind for me - `lord , you are my light and my saviour, so why should I be afraid of anyone?` . in times of great fear we should always remember that the lord has great plans for every and every one of us...." 

it almost felt like he had never left to mrs m as she watched him continue to talk. everyone else seemed to be thinking the same. for once the joy of watching him do what he loved made him seem so normal like nothing for him had changed but she knew with regret that there were things very wrong with him and his entire situation. but she had to stop dwelling on that and she flicked an invisable switch in her head and turned the thoughts off, concentrating on what Sidney was talking about. 

once the meeting broke up Sidney started to clear away what he had in front of him and avoided looking around the room - he didn't want anyone to ask him any awkward questions. unfortunately no sooner had he thought this ,footsteps sounded coming towards him and he avoided looking up, pretending to be tidying up the book, unfortunately it was already closed. he had no choice but to look up and see who it was. it was the archdeacon. he subconsciously looked away again. he wasn't mentally prepared for what he was going to stay. 

"well done and thank you for turning up" 

Sidney nodded. 

"you see I didn't really want to get rid of you but you were leaving me no choice Sidney. so I'm glad you`ve turned your ways around" 

yeah right. Sidney thought. he would have been all to happy to throw him out. he nodded again and picked up his stuff, heading out to change back but someone grabbed his arm. he turned round to find who had grabbed him. it was mrs m. "what?" 

"well done. it was almost like you had never left!" she exclaimed. "see? it wasn't that bad was it?" 

"shh keep your voice down. people will start to ask questions and I don't want that" Sidney replied. he attempted another try in leaving but this time someone called his name. he froze and then turned round. after what happened last night with Geordie he didn't know what was going to be spoken between them. 

"good timing then. I thought it had finished" Geordie commented. "Listen- I need to talk to you" 

"Not now Geordie.... I'm busy" Sidney turned away again. 

Geordie walked closer to Sidney, closing the gap. "I spoke to Natalie yesterday. I've got usual information you might find interesting." Geordie saw the spark of curiousity in Sidney's eyes. 

"What's so special about this information?" 

"It concerns you and Melanie and anka. Apparently you knew eachother right from the start. Right when all this began" 

A few people left from the church service glanced their way as if eager to hear more. Agatha Redmond was one of them. She seemed to be waiting for him. 

"What?... How? That's not possible" 

"Well it is. I'll talk to you later?" Geordie said. Sidney nodded and started to turn away. "Oh and Sidney?" Sidney turned back round for the third time. "What?" 

"I'm sorry about last night. I was mad at you. I'm sorry. " 

"It's fine" Sidney dismissed his apology and watched as he headed out. Sidney decided to get out of here quickly before questions started. Unfortunately that didn't quite go to plan as Agatha Redmond approached him. 

"I liked what you were talking about today." She said. "It reminded me of Abigail" 

Sidney didn't know what to say to that so he looked down and nodded. 

"Where have you been? If you don't mind me asking?" 

He knew that was going to come. But before he could answer Mrs m saved the day. "He's been seriously ill. Got ill and the doctor recommended him to go somewhere for a while" 

Sidney raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. 

"Oh well I'm glad you're alright now. I need to go" the ends of lips almost raised into a smile but not quite as she walked away. Sidney released the breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "Seriously ill!?" 

"It was better then saying you went of galavanting" Mrs m replied. 

"I thought lying lips were an abomination to the Lord?" Sidney said quoting Mrs m. 

"Well in the circumstance..." Mrs m said. "I'll let you change" she bristled out of the now empty church hall. 

Sidney sighed, now grateful that he could finally do what he had intended too. it had been a long stressful morning and he was glad to be able to have a stress free afternoon.   
~~~~~~~~~~   
"So how did it go?" Sam asked as Sidney came into the vicarage. 

"It was alright. Better then I thought" Sidney admitted closing the door. Just as the door clicked shut the door bell rang and Sidney stepped back and opened the door. "This quickly Geordie?" 

"It's important Sidney" Geordie replied. "It concerns you Sidney" 

Sidney sighed. "Fine" he opened the door the door wider to allow him through. 

"I'll be upstairs Sidney" Sam said, his voice lowered before he headed up the stairs, taking two at a time. He didn't think his presence would be helpful. 

"Yeah okay" Sidney said absentmindedly. 

"Is he still here?" Geordie asked, a hint for venem in his voice. 

"Leave him be Geordie. I ain't got time for this" Sidney replied as he led him through to the front room where they sat at the table. 

"Fine fine" Geordie said but Sidney heard him say something unpleasant under his breath. He chose to ignore it. He was too tired for this. 

"So what did you want to show me?" Sidney asked. "Or tell me" 

"Anka. She was after you right from the start" 

"Yeah... You said that. What's that mean though?" 

"She must have been watching you from the very start Sidney" Geordie said. "Natalie told me that Melanie told her that anka was watching you all the time at her house. Threatening you every Chance he got"

"So? And that proves......" 

"That she had been planning to go to Melanie's from the very beginning" Geordie leaned forward. "Natalie told me her eyes lit up when Madeline and Melanie were brought up. Then later she had a conversation. It was mostly in polish. Except for 4 words." 

"Which were....?" Sidney sounded bored and tired. 

"The plans coming together." Geordie quoted. "I thought you wanted to know all about this? Aren't you curious anymore?" Geordie said. Sidney shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "We've spent ages Geordie, trying to find out what happened. What if we don't? What's the point?" "Don't give up Sidney" Geordie Said gently. He cleared his throat switching the subject back. "When you came along and ruined the closeness between them Anka got mad. Natalie said she had told her that she'll get her job back. She'll make sure you're gone forever" 

Sidney reflected on what he said. "How does this link with me?" 

"Aren't you seeing it?" Geordie cried,standing up. "She knew you right from the beginning. You knew her. She kept threatening you at Melanie's house, asking you questions about a list. She's been watching you very moves from the beginning Sidney. " 

Sidney shook his head vigorously. "This doesn't make sense..." 

"It makes more sense then you think Sidney" Geordie said. "She also said something else that's puzzling. Before I tell you ... do you speak another language?" 

"What kind of question is that?" Sidney scoffed. "No- I dont. I can speak a little German but that's it" 

"Not polish then?" 

"Does German sound like polish to you?" Sidney said sarcastically. 

Geordie ignored it and carried on. "Melanie told Natalie that you and Anka had a conversation , more like an argument actually. " 

"Whats that got to do with other languages?" 

"Because Sidney - you replied back according to Melanie in polish" 

Sidney sat there stunned. "I don't - I don't know what you're talking about. I don't -i don't speak polish" 

"Well according to natalie you did. Melanie heard you. Whatever it was, it made you leave the next day" Geordie studied his friend, waiting for a response. 

"This doesn't make sense." Sidney replied, standing up. "None of its making any sense!" 

"Calm down. I only told you this because I thought you would want to know." 

"It's confusing Geordie ... I was speaking another language that I can't remember" Sidney sunk back into the chair he had just vacated and put his elbows on the table, head in his hands. 

"Maybe - maybe you had picked some phrases up while you were travelling? Or you knew some polish but because of your Amnesia you've forgotten...?" 

"Maybe" Sidney didn't sound convinced. He rubbed his face and then brought his hands down. 

"Don't stress over this Sidney okay? We'll find out everything okay?" 

"Why you helping me?" Sidney said. "You hate me" 

"I don't Sidney - im sorry about last night. I just got so worried and to see you back here acting like nothing happened got me angry because my worrying seemed pointless." Geordie explained, remembering his words from last night. They seemed to echo round his head.

Sidney shook his head. "Im sorry. I shouldn't have run off like that. I guess I knee it would hurt you guys but I just seemed to have gotten it into my head that you would be all safer without me" he focused on his hands. 

"What made you change your mind?" 

"Sam" Sidney replied looking up catching Geordie's eyes. "He talked some sense into me. Told me everyone would be safer with me around then me being goodness knows where. We don't know what they could be capable of Geordie. But sam does - and for that reason we need to trust him" 

"Well I may not particularly like him but he has a point there" Geordie sighed. "How would he know what they're capable off?" 

"He saw them Geordie ... he prevented then from harming me further. That's why they're after him too. He ruined there plans" 

"Do they want him as badly as they want you?" 

Sidney shook his head. "Not as bad. But - when we were hiding from them we heard Anka say that anyone that gets in their way of them getting me they should kill them." 

"They're in prison Sidney.... hopefully that's the lot of them" Geordie replied. 

Sidney looked up again and shook his head. "There's more Geordie.... and whoever they're working for" 

"I thought it was Anka?" 

Sidney shook his head again. "No- someone else. They keep mentioning a boss. " 

"Any idea who this might be?" 

Again, Sidney shook his head sadly. 

Geordie hit the table with his fist slightly in frustration then breathed in. "At least we know who took Melanie"

"You mean...." Sidney didn't have to say the rest for Geordie to understand who he meant. 

"Anka seems to be more the prime suspect now as more information comes through. She also has strong motive. Very strong motive. " Geordie cleared his throat. "I also wanted to ask you if you're okay?" 

Sidney nodded. "Im fine Geordie. I don't know what happened last night but I'm fine now" 

"You know what I mean" 

Sidney looked at his hands again. "I'm fine" 

"Why am I finding that so hard to believe? I know you're stressed Sidney...." 

"Wouldn't you be if you had amnesia and people were out to get you for a reason you can't remember?" 

"I would be" Geordie said dead serious. "And I know that I would want friends to help. So remember - i'm here okay? " 

"I know you are" Sidney replied flatly. He didn't want to talk about this. He changed the subject. "Does Emily have red hair?" 

"No why?" 

Sidney explained his flashback from last night and once he was finished Geordie frowned. "Another one? Any idea who she is?" 

Sidney shook his head. " I've never seen her before. Well obviously I have at some point but nothing i can remember" 

"Hmmm.... I'll have to keep a look around for that. I'll ask Anka tonight. We're questioning her" 

This sparked an interest and Sidney leaned forward. "Do you think they might be working together?" 

"Maybe. I'll see if she knows who she is." He pulled out a pad and pen. "Describe her again please" 

Sidney repeated his description of the mystery girl and Geordie wrote it down. "Thank you -listen before i leave there's just one thing you should know. Anka's brother has been released on bail. Other then he vandalised your church we couldn't keep him in for any connection with Anka"

"You mean he's out?" 

"I'm afraid so. " Geordie said, his apology in his eyes. "we couldn't keep him in with anything else. I tried Sidney... I tried but without prove- I couldn't hold him" 

Sidney shook his head. "It's fine. Don't apologise"

"If he is part of his sister's scheme then im sorry he ever got released. But without evidence we can't do a thing." 

"It's fine. If he is part of his sister's scheme then he'll try and release her or finish of what she started" 

"We can protect you if you need it" Geordie said seriously. 

Sidney shook his head. "I'm fine. I don't need protecting-" he was interrupted by a knock at the door. 

Geordie glanced towards the sound then turned back to Sidney as he stood up, pushing the chair back. "All im saying is - we can protect you- if he comes for you" 

"I trust in the Lord Geordie... I'll be fine" he gave a tight smile as he headed towards the door as knocking sounded again. "I'm coming" he called then turned to Geordie. "Besides - Sam's staying for a few days. If anyone tries anything - they'll be two of us." He opened the door as Geordie stepped out, the person at the door stepping aside to allow him past. 

"Alright - but if you change your mind...." 

Sidney nodded and watched his friend walk to his car and climb in. Sidney's attention was drawn to the person who had wanted his attention. "Hello" he said. 

"Sidney isn't it?" The man said, his voice heavily accented. 

"Do I know you?" He suddenly felt nervous. What if this person is someone whos working alongside Anka? He felt like calling out to Geordie but as he heard the engine roar as the car rode away he knew that was no longer an option. 

"No -im not from round here. I'm a friend of the girl you used to know - Hildegard. I'm from Germany" the man said gruffly. His face was partly hidden from view, almost like he was hiding something. At the mention of Hildegard, Sidney's defences dropped from his face. "You know her?" 

"I'm an old family friend" he replied. Sidney could now hear the hint of German in his voice but it didn't sound quite like Hildegard almost like a hint of something else but he couldn't figure out what... 

The man brought Sidney's attention back to him. "Anyways - I read your notice board about the Easter fate. I was wondering I could share some ideas with you." 

"Erm okay" Sidney opened the wider allowing him through just as sam came down the stairs. The man's eyes widened when he saw him, and his expression hardened, enough to startle him. Unfortunately Sidney hadn't noticed and Sam followed him into the front room. 

"What's your name? I've never seen you around these parts before?" Sidney asked, turning to face the man. He indicated for him to sit. 

"Thank you." The man sat. 

Now he was in the light Sidney could see him clearly. He was wearing a black overall coat, his hair was a dark brown all curly and messy along with a dark bread as well. His eyes were a grey colour and almost seemed familiar to Sidney but he couldn't remember where. 

"My name's Joshua" the man said. "Call me josh. I came to Cambridge from germany a few weeks ago. I work in a church up in Germany. In passing I happened to notice your note on the Easter fate and thought I could help with that." 

Sidney leaned on the table behind him. He didn't want to sit, his bruise on his back was hurting him and he didn't feel like sitting. "What ideas did you have in mind?" He looked briefly towards Sam and then back at Josh. 

"Well" Josh started as he shifted position. "You're looking for people to run stalls. I could run one of the stalls" 

"Any particular stall?" Sidney asked. 

Mrs m interrupted them bringing in a tray of cups with tea. "I thought you might want something to drink. It's particularly cold outside today and I know Sidney isn't one for providing for guests" 

Sidney rolled his eyes at his housekeeper but nodded his thanks as she backed out of the room , heading upstairs. Joshua and Sam both took a cup, Sam also picking up Sidney's and handing it to him. He nodded his thanks. 

"Whatever stall is available I don't mind" josh replied. 

Sidney nodded and turned round pulling off a sheet of paper from the middle of the table. " come here and I'll show you what stalls are around..." He beckened him over as Josh stood up, placing his cup back down on the table. "There are a few more... But I've left it upstairs.." 

"I'll get it" Sam offered, also placing his cup back down on the table. He headed out, heading up stairs. 

"Any particular one you want to run?" Sidney asked. When he got no response he turned round slightly. Josh was standing at the table again. He glanced up and picked up his cup again and headed back over. "Sorry what did you say?" 

"I said any particular stall you want to run?" 

"I'll see what the others are then I'll decide" Josh replied. 

Sidney nodded and waited for Sam to come back down. In truth, Josh was starting to make him feel a little uneasy. 

Footsteps sounded coming back down the stairs and then Sam appeared holding a piece of a paper in his hands. He handed it to Sidney and picked up his cup again, leaning against the wall. 

Josh took the list from Sidney and read through the few stalls written on there. "I could do this one" he said pointing to the tombola stall. "Tombola's were my favourite as a child" 

Sidney smiled. "It was mine too" he picked up a pencil laying next to him. "I'll pencil your name against it?" 

Josh nodded. 

"What's your surname?" 

"It's pindler. Joshua pindler." Josh said. 

Sidney nodded writing it down. "Thank you for your help" 

"It's my pleasure" Josh replied back, finishing his tea. "Now I better go. But I'll properly see you around" 

Sidney nodded as he followed him out to the doorway. "How do you know hildegard?" 

"Old friends" 

"She never mentioned you" Sidney said, more to himself. 

"You know women. We were friends. I mean look at me, I'm old enough to be her father." He chuckled as he stepped out the door. "She mentioned you though" 

"Oh" 

"Anyway must dash" he waved goodbye and headed off to the left. Sidney shut the door, hearing it click then leaned against it. 

"He creeped me out" 

"So it wasn't just me" Sidney said feeling relieved. 

"Nope. And me. He seemed slightly familiar as well mainly the eyes.." Sam replied. 

"Same here." 

"Do you think- he could be someone that works for anka?" Sam asked. 

Sidney pushed away from the door and headed back to the front room, sinking down into a seat. "I don't think so. Why would someone who's working for anka want to help at the Easter fate?" 

"True" Sam admitted. He rubbed at his forehead. 

"You okay?" 

"Yeah... Just a headache. Started a few minutes before he left. It should go soon" Sam shrugged. 

"Hmmmm"Sidney wasn't paying attention. He was thinking about everything that Geordie had said. As well as everything that had happened. He just had to stop thinking about all of this. He sighed as the door bell rang again and jumped up heading to the door. 

"Amanda?" He exclaimed in shock. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled shyly. "I was visiting and I thought I'll come visit my old friend" 

Sidney let out a breath and smiled. "It's good to see you" he lent in the doorway. 

"How's things?" She asked. "You know with everything."

Sidney nodded. "Yeah I'm settling. It's been okay." That was an understatement of the century. Things haven't been okay, they've been hell. But he didn't want to bore Amanda with all of that. "How long you here for?" 

"A few hours. I have to go soon - guy's expecting me back by 9" she replied, suddenly feeling awkward as she subconsciously rubbed her fingers against her ring. "I thought we could for a walk. Get away from the prying eyes of mrs m" she grinned. 

"It's dark and the middle of winter" he said astonished. "And you want to go walking around outside." He grabbed his jacket anyway and slipped out of the house. Nothing would go wrong if he left the vicarage. The most that could happen would be mrs m skinning sam alive or giving him hell but he couldn't change that. He felt Amanda cling onto his arm, fingers slipping through into his. "Oh" she exclaimed. "You're hands are so warm!" 

He squeeze her hand in his as they walked the darkened street of Grantchester. The worries from earlier seemed to slip away as he enjoyed the cold air against his cheeks, giving them a rosy glow as well as Amanda's soft hand in his. 

"So come on. I want to hear everything that's happened since I last was here and don't leave anything out!" 

Sidney sighed and remained quiet. He hadn't come along with her to talk about everything that was troubling him. 

"Please Sidney. I missed you when you were gone. I want to know where you went, if you remember that is" Amanda squeezed his arm, looking up at him. Her cheeks were glowing red from the raw bitter wind. 

Sidney sighed and began his tale of everything that had happened. Melanie going missing, going to Melanie's house for questioning, then being recognised, having a flashback, the London trip, the people that were after him , the letters in the bank, meeting sam, coming home, Matthew going missing, Anka was behind it, the dangers .... he didn't leave anything out. 

Amanda walked and listened patiently to her close friend, squeezing his hand went he mentioned how he had tried to run again because he was a danger. Once he was finished she took a deep breath in and exaled loudly. "Wow - it's been hectic here" 

"I know" 

"Don't run away again sidney- I was beside myself with worry about you, I think everyone was" she looked up at him. 

"I'm not going to make that mistake again amanda, I promise. I was stupid and wasn't thinking clearly. Let's just say I've had sense knocked into me" he half smiled. 

"Well im glad to hear in." She rubbed his arm and then let go, realising what she was doing. She nudged him, changing the subject. "So - cora hey? Do you like her?" 

Sidney laughed, white air raised from his mouth as he breathed, showing the coldness off the night. "You're unbelievable you know that?" 

"What....? I only want to make sure you have someone and that you're not lonely" 

"I'm not alone amanda, i have dickens which you sent me" he nudged her back. 

"Well dogs are companable but I think you need a girl Sidney" she said, cocking her head to the side. 

"So everyone keeps saying" he sighed heavily causing her to laugh. 

All that could be heard was their footsteps against the hard ground, the silence swallowing them up. Sidney cleared his throat and exaled sending a white cloud of mist from his mouth. "It's getting colder. We've been walking round and round for nearly an hour" 

"Oh well. I have you. You're warm" she stated. 

Sidney responded to that with a roll of his eyes. "You're married amanda." 

"I know" 

Sidney could hear the sadness in her voice but didn't want to question it. It never got him anywhere. He changed direction and headed to the train station. "Come on- lets get you a train back to London."  
~~~~****~~~~  
As they entered the train station with a few minutes to spare amanda suddenly turned to Sidney. "I'm glad I got to see you -this hour has meant a lot to me" 

"I've missed you too" Sidney replied. 

"If anything happens or something call me please. I want to know what else happens. I hope you all find Melanie" amanda grabbed his hands, squeezing them in hers. 

"I will" 

"And call cora. She seems sweet. Who knows - maybe something could happen." She teased. 

"Again- you're unbelievable" Sidney laughed as he heard the sound of the approaching train. 

"See you" amanda said, reaching up on her toes to kiss his cheek. 

Once the train pulled in , Sidney opened the door for her and closed it behind her. "I promise i'll call you" 

"Good" amanda replied as the train shuddered as it moved. Sidney waved from where he was standing, amanda waving back, until the train disappeared round the corner. Sidney placed his hand back to his side and exited the train station, taking the journey back to the vicarage alone. He didn't mind it as much, although now there wasn't amanda to distract him from his thoughts his mind started to play scenarios and he found himself jumping at every sound. The situation with Anka was making him paranoid and he hated it. He quickened his pace as a big gust of wind blew, pulling cold air into his face. He could feel his nose freezing. Soon the vicarage came in sight and he checked the time. He had been gone for two hours. Hopefully no one missed him. Just as he approached the door, it was thrown open by mrs m. 

"Before you start I didn't try and run off again- i was seeing amanda home-" 

"Sidney" mrs m said. Sidney could hear the urgency in her voice. "Sidney. It's sam" 

"What? Whats happened?" Sidney said, as he quickened his pace. 

"I don't know what to do" mrs m said. "Please Sidney" 

Sidney rushed past her, and headed into the front room. Sam was on the floor, half sitting, grabbing on his stomach, coughing. Once he saw Sidney he tried to get up but failed. "Sidney...."

Sidney came to his knees next to him, grabbing his arms. "Sam? Sam whats wrong?" 

"I don't - know" he gasped out, grabbing his stomach. "It hurts - so much. Dizzy -everythings spinning"

"how long you been feeling like this?" 

"I don't .... I don't know" he replied, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Sidney reached up a hand, brushing Sam's forehead. "You're burning" 

"Feel sick too...." Sam said wearily, eyes still squeezed shut. He swayed a little and Sidney brought his hands up to stop him from falling. Sidney's mind was racing. He was alright when he left him. What could have gone wrong in two hours? 

Mrs m had brought over a bowl just in case. Her eyebrows were knitted together in concern. "He was alright when you left him, he had a headache. Then everything just went down hill" 

"What hurts the most?" Sidney asked Sam. 

"Stomach" he said, which proved difficult. He had tears gleaming in his eyes from the pain. He shook his head again. "I don't know what's happening" 

"You're going to be fine" Sidney said. But he didn't know how much of that was true as Sam made use of the bowl. 

Sidney looked up at Mrs m, his own hopelessness mirrored back at him. It was confusing at how quickly this had happened, if it had been an stomach bug or the flu it would have shown a few days before. But not in the space of two hours. 

Once Sam had stopped heaving for a second, he brushed his fringe from his eyes. Sidney could tell from where he was sitting that he was sweating hard but his teeth was chattering. His left hand was still pressed tightly to his stomach as if the pressure would stop the pain. 

"Sam- listen to me. How long have you felt like this? Since this morning? Last night?" 

Sam didn't appear with it, almost like he was dazed out. Sidney grabbed his arm and shook him slightly. "Come on. Talk to me!" 

Sam shook his head. "I don't know... You're spinning Sidney... I can't concentrate ... " his stomach felt like it was on fire and it hurt a lot. Nausea was still bothering him and now there was a distant ringing noise in his ears as the ground rushed up to meet him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is taken to the hospital, while Sidney is trying to make a connection to why he's fallen ill...

Sidney watched as Sam suddenly lost consciousness, falling. Sidney caught him and brought him closer to himself, so he could rest against his chest. Now this was scaring him. Something wasn't right. "Mrs m! Call an ambulance please! Quickly!" 

Mrs m came rushing in the room, saw the scene in front of her and headed out to the phone, dialling quickly. "Ambulance please..." 

Sidney looked down at Sam and patted his cheek. "Come on Sam. Wake up for me... Come on..." But nothing happened. Sidney grabbed his wrist, feeling for a pulse. It was racing. "Come on Sam. Wake up. You're scaring me..." He patted his cheek again but no such luck. He was unconscious. 

"They're coming Sidney. They're coming" Mrs m said as she headed into the room again. 

"Was he alright when I left?" 

Mrs m nodded. "Besides a headache he was fine. Then shortly before you arrived, he collapsed and once he woke he was in so much pain" she came to kneel next to them as well. 

"Sam. Wake up" Sidney said again, patting his cheek. He was discomforted to find his hands shaking. "Wake up..." 

Just then they could hear the sound of an approaching ambulance and Mrs m stood up from the floor, peaking out from the curtain. "It's them" she hurried out to open the door, allowing them through as they jumped out from the ambulance. 

"What's the problem?" 

Mrs m pointed them in the direction of Sidney and Sam. They first man nodded and headed over to them both. Kneeling on the floor. "What's wrong?" 

"He's unconscious. I don't know what's wrong" Sidney admitted. He started to explain everything else as two other people came through, carrying a stretcher. 

"Quick. Let's get him moving" 

With Sidney's help they managed to gently get him on the stretcher, before taking him out to the ambulance, putting him in the back. Sidney turned to Mrs m. "I'll be back soon. I'm going with him" 

She nodded and watched him climb in the back, the doors shutting as it drove away, the noise filling up the quiet streets. She slowly shut the door, turning back to the sudden empty vicarage. Leonard was standing on the steps as she passed. He followed. 

"What's happened?" 

"It's Sam. We don't know what's wrong" 

Dickens came lumbering up as she sat down heavily, resting his head on her leg, sensing her sadness. For once, she allowed it and stroked his head comfortingly.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
sidney was chewing his lip as they drove to the hospital. He couldn't begin to think what had gone wrong. He had been fine earlier. Maybe he shouldn't have left.... He had been thinking that since Sam had passed out. He should have been there instead of going out walking round the village with Amanda. but then again, if he had stayed - it still would have happened.... his dark thoughts were interrupted by a groan coming from Sam as he started to regain consciousness. then he cried out as he felt the pain in his stomach, so much worser now. he moved his hand, grabbing his stomach. "hurts...." 

Sidney leaned closer. "you`re going to be fine." 

"it hurts too much...."sam groaned, his strength was fast failing him now as he started to breathe shallowly,giving loud warning bells that his nausea was bothering him again. The man from earlier reached underneath him, getting sam into a sitting position, handing him a bowl. "hold him please. I need to get something" he said. Sidney nodded, grabbing hold of him to keep him steady as sam threw up again. "this is disgusting" 

"well as Geordie would say - `better in then out" Sidney quoted, determined to lighten up the mood. 

despite everything sam laughed a little but was cut short as he threw up again. Sidney rubbed his hand up and down his arm encouragingly. "i don't like this" sam groaned, tears once again gleaming in his eyes. the pain from his stomach was becoming unbearable. all he wanted to do was curl up but he couldn't. 

"you`re going to be fine sam" Sidney said, more confident then he actually felt. Sam grabbed hold of his hand and Sidney squeezed it encouragingly. 

finally what seemed to be forever, they finally pulled up in front of the hospital. They came to a stop as the driver jumped out, walking fast to the back and throwing open the heavy doors. Together between the paramedics they managed to wheel Sam, who had lost consciousness again, into the hospital. Sidney followed them, wanting to make sure Sam was alright but soon enough, like always ,a nurse stopped him and he was resumed to just sit and wait.... 

Yeah- just sit and wait was all they could offer him. His mind was racing, wondering exactly what had happened to him. He was thinking through everything that had happened but he couldn't think of anything that could have made Sam this ill. It couldn't have been anything he had eaten because they had had the same things throughout the day and he was perfectly fine. The more he thought of theories the more anxious and frustrated he felt. It didn't help that he was confined to a chair and soon he found himself shaking his leg up and down , signs that he was feeling extremely anxious. 

"Sidney?" 

Sidney turned to the sound of the voice. "How did you..." 

"I called round - I wanted you to help with questioning of someone and Mrs m told me where you were. Is he okay?" Geordie came to sit next to Sidney. 

Sidney laughed nervously. "I don't know what's happening - he was fine when I left him! Then when I came back a couple of hours later he was complaining of extreme pain from his stomach and then just passed out! I didn't know what to do! Or what was wrong! I shouldn't have left or anything then I could have helped or found out what was wrong!" 

Geordie could tell from where he was sitting that Sidney was working himself up to a state. "Come on- lets get some food In you. Mrs m was so adamant about you not having any food today" 

"The least of my worries right now Geordie" Sidney said taking in a shuddering breath. 

"Come on Sidney - lets get some food in you. I want you to eat something. You're not going to be any good to Sam if you're fainting away from lack of food are you?" 

Finally Geordie's argument won over Sidney agreed to get something to eat, and returning back to the hospital just over 15 minutes of leaving. Geordie allowed him to come back so quickly having seen he had calmed down a lot from when he had first seen him. Now that Sidney was calmer he managed to explain on the way back to the hospital everything that had happened - all Sam's symptoms and everything. 

"Has anyone spoken to you yet what is wrong with him?" 

Sidney shook his head as they entered the hospital, sitting back down where they had left. "Not yet. I've been thinking about everything - it can't be food poisoning 'cause we've eaten the same thing the whole day." 

"Maybe it's a bad case of a stomach bug? There's some going on in schools... Ivy's off with a stomach bug" Geordie replied,attempting to make Sidney feel better. It wasn't working. 

"A stomach bug? What kinda stomach bug ends you up in hospital?" Sidney replied. 

"I don't know Sidney. But whatever it is they'll find out. I'm sure of it" Geordie replied encouragingly. 

they looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and Sidney stood up. "Is he okay?" 

The nurse nodded. "He's stable. But still in a terrible way. We've got him under anaesthetic because of the pain from his stomach. The doctors in there now - trying to find the course. It will be a couple of hours maybe before we can tell. You should probably go home. Come back tomorrow " 

Sidney shook his head. "I want to know what's wrong...." 

Geordie gently tugged on his wrist. "I think she's right. Come on- lets go home. you can visit tomorrow" 

The nurse smiled and nodded, obviously agreeing. "The doctor should have the results to tell you" 

Sidney nodded but it was obvious he wasn't happy. Geordie led him out of the hospital. "He'll be fine. He's in good hands." He clapped him on the back but Sidney didn't feel like celebrating. 

Geordie sighed and changed the subject. "Heard from Cora recently?" 

Sidney shook his head. "No- I was going to call her actually but....." His voice trailed off but Geordie guessed what he was going to say. Once he reached the car he opened the door to the drivers side and climbed in, Sidney followed suit on the other side. Geordie could tell that his mind was miles away and he knew from experience he was going to blame himself. "It's not your fault Sidney... Don't even think about it" 

Sidney didn't even bother to respond, knowing it was pointless. They were only going to disagree. Sidney didn't even know where Geordie was driving and he didn't care. It was dark and cold. Geordie took a right turn as Sidney realised he was heading to the vicarage. He should have known. It was well after 10 in the evening and the events from the day seemed to be taking a toll on him. It felt like days not hours that he had been painting the wall... Painting eachother as well. It just showed how quickly everything could change. 

"- you better go straight to bed Sidney. I'll make sure Mrs m chases you. You'll feel better in the morning after a good nights sleep" Geordies words seemed to push through his muddled throughts but it was like noise. He nodded to what he was saying; not really taking any of it in. 

Geordie gave him a glance and then looked back to the road. He was nearly at the vicarage now and was starting to feel the cold even through the car. Damn the winter nights. They were so cold; especially during February. 

He pulled up in front of them vicarage and cut the engine off. He turned to Sidney. "Come on- lets get you inside" he opened the door and slammed it shut, starting to walk up the path to the vicarage. Eventually he heard a car door slam and Sidney followed on. The door opened, revealing sudden light and geordie could now tell the paleness of his face and the fatigue under his eyes. He looked like he had been through hell and back. 

"Is he alright?" Mrs m asked as they both stepped in, immediately feeling the warmth that seemed to crawl through them. 

"If you mean Sam he's stable but not good..." Geordie watched as Sidney walked off and headed to the front room. "If you mean Sidney....." Geordie rubbed the back of his neck. "I think he's blaming himself" 

"It wasn't his fault. Even if he hadn't gone off with Mrs Hopkins for a few hours, Sam probably would have still gotten Ill" 

Geordie sighed. "Try telling that to Sidney." He glanced briefly at Sidney before adding. "Make sure he sleeps- what's happened has taken a toll on him. He'll feel better in the morning" 

"Thank you inspector" Mrs m said. She held the door open as Geordie stepped back out, the bitter cold once again consuming him. He subconsciously pulled his coat closer to him as he walked back down the path and climbed back into his car, starting the engine and driving to his home. It had been a long evening... 

 

Meanwhile inside the vicarage Sidney was busy rethinking over every single thing they had done today. They both had been together the entire time and he never noticed anything strange. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. it had been a stressful day. Just as quickly as his eyes closed, they snapped open again. Sam had been on his own through the church service. Had something happened? 

"Stop over thinking this. It could be anything. It could even be a bad case of food poisoning" mrs m's bossy tone sounded as she stalked into the front room. 

"He's been with us the entire time. All he's eaten is food you've prepared so if you're saying it was your food that gave him food poisoning...." 

"No. I wasn't saying that" she snapped back. She stalked back out again and Sidney sighed heavily. Maybe it wasnt such a bad idea going upstairs to bed. He climbed the stairs to his room and shut the door. He just hoped he got a few hours of sleep, his eyelids felt like led.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
By 10am the next morning Sidney had already left the vicarage and was already near the hospital. He hadn't slept great last night, kept being awoken by nightmares. Nightmares filled of Anka, dorsen, the torture. It was driving his head crazy , but he knew he had to deal with it and not dwell, no matter how hard that was. 

He arrived shortly after and left his bike outside, briefly preparing himself. He didn't even know if they would tell him anything. He wasn't family after all. Even so, he was still going to have to try. 

The woman at the desk was busy on the phone as he headed in and she held up a finger to signal she'll be with him in a minute. He put his arms on the desk folded and waited patiently , eager to find out what's wrong. The woman put the phone down and turned to him. She had a bored expression on her face as if she had been working for quite some time, though it was only just after 10. 

" I'm here to see sam Milburn. What room is he in?" Sidney said, leaning slightly. 

"Are you family?" 

"No but-" she didn't give him time to explain. 

"I'm sorry. Only family at the moment." 

"I came with him last night. He's my friend. All his family is up in Manchester. They don't know what's happened" after all it took to do this trip and the loss of sleep he wasn't going away that easily. He was worrying so much to the point his head hurt. "The nurse told me to come back today. The doctor was going to have the results then" 

The woamn chewed her lip as she began flipping through papers on the desk. "Sam Milburn you say?" 

"Yeah. Sam or Samuel. that's his full name" Sidney replied hastily. 

The woman continued flipping through the papers and then stopped half way through. "Room 26" she looked up at him. " Follow that corridor until you come to a left turning and turn. It's the first door on the right." For the first time since Sidney had gotten there she smiled and turned back to her work. 

"Thank you" he headed down the corridor she had pointed out, eager to find a left turning. Soon enough he was outside room 26. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. 

Sam was curled on his side, facing the door. His eyes were closed and he had an oxygen mark over his nose and mouth. His brown hair was ruffled and some of it was swept across his forehead making him look younger then he was. Sidney slipped in further and let the door close. He sat down in the spare chair next to the bed and rubbed at his face. "This is all my fault" he mumbled to himself. 

A disturbance sounded and a man appeared from the corner of the room. Sidney hadn't noticed him when he first came in. The man noticed Sidney for the first time. "Who are you?" 

Sidney stood up. "I'm his friend. The nurse said yesterday you'll have some results about him" 

The doctor took his glasses off and held them wearily." I have the results. I think its best to call in the police" 

Sidneys heart started to hammer. "Why? What wrong? Is he okay?" 

"I found quite a lot of poison in his system. Almost enough to kill him. From what, it's hard to tell. I think someone tried to kill him" 

Sidney found it suddenly hard to breathe. His head started to spin. Kill him? Who would try to kill him? "That's not - but we've eaten the same thing and I'm not Ill" 

The doctor shrugged. "It could be from anything. An injection, something put into a drink, something he touched that was covered in the stuff. It's hard to tell" 

Sidney was speechless. His old school friend had been poisoned. Poisoned for a reason he didn't know, if there is a reason that is. But there had to be. Why poison someone without a reason? The air seemed to have been sucked from the room again. 

"I'll know more once he wakes up" 

"You mean he hasn't woken up?" 

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. We took him off the anaesthetic late last night because his heart beat started to fail but then it strengthened. Ideally we wanted to see if he'll wake up. So far nothing. But he's stable and his heart beat is stronger." 

"What type of poison was it?" 

"A tonic- Elixir. It's a poison that kills whoever takes it. Your friend here got lucky" the doctor replied as he moved to the other side of the bed, checking the tubes and medicine. "It takes two hours from taking the poison to illness. In three hours you'll be dead. Good thing you got him here quick" 

Sidney nodded numbly, but wasn't really paying attention. His focus was on Sam, How close he had come to being killed. The problem was - there wasn't nothing that he could link to being poisoned. No one was in the vicarage. 

The doctor cleared his throat as he straightened up. "Now if you'll excuse me.... I need to make some calls" he headed out, leaving Sidney with his thoughts. 

Sidney sat there for the remainder of the day, hoping for his friend to wake or even for the doctor to tell him that Sam was going to be okay but neither happened and so he still sat, pondering over everything. His mind was slowly brought back to the present when he realised he could hear voices outside the door. One of two that he recognised. He stood up, the first time in a few hours and stretched his unused muscles. His legs had cramped from sitting in the same position for too long. He placed his hand on the door handle for a second, listening again to the voices making sure before opening the door and stepping out. 

The doctor, Geordie and Phil turned to face him. Geordie was the first to talk. "Sam" was all he said. The doctor hadn't given a name on the phone and was about to but Sidney coming out off the room was answer enough. "Oh shit." He murmured. 

"I thought you should be informed" the doctor said. 

"Are you certain it's poison?" Geordie asked, turning his attention back to the doctor. 

He nodded, regret in his eyes. "I wish I could tell you that I wasn't but i know it is. The tonic in which he was given has a distinct colouring. The blood cells change a pale greeny colour. When we checked his blood it had green marks in it. Only this tonic - elixir- takes this form of colour in the blood cells" 

Geordie nodded. "You think someone tried to kill him?" 

"I'm only a doctor but - it points that way. It's a really hard poison to get hold off in this country. Maybe in Poland- that direction. He couldn't have taken it himself. Unless..." Sidney didn't allow him to finish his sentence. 

"He wasn't suicidal if that's what you were going to suggest" 

"Then there's only one option- someone was intending to kill him" 

Geordie nodded and stood up a little straighter. "Will look into this straight away." He then turned to Sidney. "I'll need to ask you questions. And everyone that was in the vicarage. You know the reasons" 

"I can't leave yet" Sidney began to protest but Geordie cut in. "We need to find out who did this Sidney. If you want to help him come back to the station. I need a list of everyone that Sam has been around in the last 24 hours" 

Sidney knew better than to argue and nodded, not saying anything, and also he really did want to help Sam. After all he had done from him, Sidney knew he had to find who poisoned him in return.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
By the time Sidney made it to the police station, the others had already turned up. Mrs m had already been questioned- considering she was the one that had cooked the food. Leonard was nervous as usual, and also someone who he completely forgotten about was also there. "They asked you here too?" 

Amanda nodded. "Because I had turned up at the vicarage" 

"You hardly stepped in the doorway" Sidney remembered. 

She shrugged. "Is he alright?" 

Sidney shook his head as his face fell. "That poison they gave him almost killed him. He hasn't woken yet" 

Amanda snuck her hands into his and squeezed softly. "He'll be okay. Do you know who it might have been?" 

Again Sidney shook his head. "No, I don't know. But I bet it has something to do with those three months that I can't remember. Cora told me to warn him - that he was getting too involved in all of this. He admitted it to me a couple of days ago when we came back." 

"You mean the people who are after you could have done this?" 

"I'm certain of it. Who else could it be?" Sidney replied. "I need to get to the bottom of this. I need to know everything." 

"You will do Sidney" 

Sidney didn't respond as it was his turn to be questioned. He squeezed her hand back and let her hand go as he went in. Geordie was sitting at the table as Sidney walked in. It felt strange (again) sitting on the other side of the table. 

"Ive heard from everyone else but I also need your point of view. I know you wouldn't have poisoned him but - you were the main one with him" Geordie began. 

"I know" Sidney replied and told him his account, of every move they had both done, over the last 24 hours. 

"Was there anyone you came across - anyone at all- that seemed a bit suspicious - that has been around sam at all?" Geordie asked. 

Sidney shook his head. He couldn't think off anyone that had been near sam over the last 24 hours. "Did mrs m let anyone in the vicarage while I was with Amanda?" 

"No one."Geordie sighed. "She told me that he had gone upstairs to finish something then came down. He had started to feel a little sick and so he had skipped supper and by then he had started to deteriorate from there. The sickness grew worse, his head started to hurt more. He said to her he had started to feel a little dizzy and then he collapsed as he stood up. Thats when the pain in his stomach started.." 

Sidney sighed and leaned back and Geordie decided to continue. 

Are you certain sam hasn't had any contact with anyone over the last 24 hours that could have slipped him something?" 

"No Geordie. I've told you. Other then me - mrs m, Leonard and Amanda are the only ones that he has had contact with. And neither of us couldn't have gotten hold of poison from another country let alone slip it to him." Sidney replied leaning forward, arms folded on the table. "It has to be Anka.it has too!" 

"You think they're somehow connected?" 

"Yes!" 

"Sidney. I could understand why they would do something like this but think about it. They're all in prison Sidney" Geordie replied back. 

"Well there could be more of them, we don't know" 

"Exactly!" Geordie exclaimed. "We don't know. Are you sure you saw no one?" 

"No! I haven't seen no one! He was on his own for a couple of hours so he could have had someone knock on the door but he never told us. It's not like we're going to get an answer anyway considering" sidney replied a hint of sarcasticness in his voice. 

Geordie leaned forward in the chair. It was obvious that sidney was blaming himself for not being there when sam had fallen ill. "We'll get whoever did this Sidney. Don't worry. Don't blame yourself" 

"If it has something to do with those three months then it's my fault geordie. I didn't get to give him cora's warning properly" 

"What warning?" 

"Sam was getting himself too involved in what had happened to me. Anka and her minions wanted to get rid of him. Get him out of the way. " Sidney explained. "And now they have" 

"We don't know it was them Sidney" Geordie reminded him. 

"You don't know what they said geordie. You didn't hear them. They wanted revenge on him since he ruined their plans of killing me. it's my fault. They're after me" Sidney cried. "This poisoning has to have been done by them Geordie... it's the only explanation" 

"And again Sidney - they're all in prison!" 

"But not the brother" Sidney replied, standing up. 

"You know what he looks like. Have you seen him around?" Geordie asked, calmer now, knowing he was about to prove a point. 

Sidneys shoulder slumped. "No - i haven't" 

"Exactly. Now sit down and stop getting yourself all wound up." Geordie indicated to the chair Sidney had just vacated. Sidney sighed and sat back down. Geordie suddenly remembered something and looked back up at Sidney, his eyes searching the memory. "What? What is it?" Sidney asked urgently, sitting up straighter. 

"That guy who came to the vicarage while I was leaving. He could have had something to do with this" Geordie said. 

Sidney slumped back against the chair. "He doesn't even know us Geordie .... he said he's from Germany - knew Hildegard." 

"Did he now?" Geordie said, a hint of teasing edged in his voice. 

"Now's not the time for jokes" Sidney replied. "And besides -" Sidney changed the subject. "If he had wanted to poison sam , who he had never met before, what would his motive be?" He said proudly realising that his theory would prove Geordie wrong however geordie wasn't buying it. "It's a start isn't it?" He replied back. "He's the only one whom none of us knew." 

"He wanted to help at the Easter fate geordie... that's all he came for" Sidney replied. 

"But what if that was his excuse? Was he ever out of your sight? Maybe in the room with sam alone?" 

Sidney shook his head. "No. I was the only one out of both of us left alone with him for a few minutes while sam went to get the other sheet of paper with the list of stalls. Other then that - he wasn't alone with sam" 

"Whats his name?" Geordie asked suddenly. "I want to check his story a little more throughly." 

"There's nothing to check Geordie..." 

"Isnt there?" Geordie questioned. "Because you just admitted that neither of you knew who this guy was. What if he's using an alias. Maybe wanted for murder in - I don't know - sweden! You don't know if what he told you is a cover story Sidney... you off all people should know that" 

"Wanted for murder? In Sweden?" Sidney repeated , a look of almost amusement on his face. "Of everything you could have said you said wanted for murder in Sweden!?" 

"I think you're missing the basic point here Sidney.... he could be someone he's not. You want to help sam don't you?" Sidney nodded. "Then I think it's best that we look into this guy more throughly. He's the only one that neither of you knew." 

"Fine. But I think you're wasting your time." Sidney replied. "He's names Joshua pindler" 

"How long did he say he was in this country for?" 

"I don't know. He didn't say. All he said was he came from Germany a few weeks ago" 

"That mean there should be a record of him coming into the country either at the airport or...." his voice trailed off. "Is he planning on staying here for long?" 

Sidney shrugged. "Look - all he asked me was if he could help at the Easter fate which is in April" 

"And we're in February..." Geordie said more to himself. "So that means he must be staying around" 

"I presume so" Sidney agreed. 

Geordie scribbled down a few notes in his notebook. "Do you have an address for this person?" 

"Like that's a normal thing to give out when you just meet a person?" 

"People tell you more things then me Sidney..." 

"Yeah ... but not where they live the very first time they meet me" he shook his head. 

"Fine - fine. Keep an eye out for this guy sidney ... it's important we talk to him" 

Sidney nodded. "I will" 

"Get him to talk if you can. People like you" 

"Ill try. But people don't always tell me everything though Geordie ...." 

"Well it hasn't failed us yet so..." he closed the book and picked up a few scattered pieces of paper before standing up. Sidney did also, following him out the door. 

"We'll find out who did this. In the mean time - I want to catch you up on Melanie" 

"You found her?" 

Geordie shook his head. "No but there's been a sighting of her. Just outside of Cambridge. She was getting into a taxi" 

"Did you look into it?" 

"Phil was calling round all taxi agencies. So far - nothing. We're still trying Sidney.... we're not going to give up" 

"I know you won't...." Sidney replied. 

"There was someone with her. Almost forcing her in the car" 

Sjdney stopped him. "But was she okay?" 

Geordie nodded. "As far as we could tell she had no injuries. But we couldn't be sure. Her face was slightly hidden by her hair" 

They began walking again back to where the others were waiting for Sidney. Mrs m stood up. "It's about time." 

"Sidney was the one around sam the longest. We had to find out if he had seen anyone else" 

"Of course." She replied. "You will find who did this?" 

Geordie nodded. "We guarantee that. " He turned to Sidney. "I'll call you if I find anything" 

Sidney nodded and left with the others. Silence followed them all the way back, all lost in their own thoughts. Sidney was trying to remember all the moves that Joshua had taken but none of them seems out of place.For starters what would his motive be? He didn't know Sam at all- although he had heard a bit about himself from hilegard.... 

"Fancy going for a walk again before I head back to London .. Again.." 

" I have stuff to do..." Sidney replied. He was determined to get to the bottom of all this and so he was going to go through that diary. 

"What sort of stuff? Work stuff? Or just normal stuff?" 

"Something that will help me understand this situation so much better" Sidney replied back. 

"Sounds interesting .... Can I help? Guy's not expecting me for ages... I told him the questioning might go on for a while" Amanda said boldly. 

"And he let you come out here?" Sidney replied. 

"Once I explained it was serious business with the police he let me go. It finished earlier then I expected so- what do you say?" She sided closer to him. "Want some company on working on solving this?" 

Sidney sighed and was about to tell her no when he remembered about those letters he had left in the bank. One of them was addressed to Amanda. He hadn't looked at it - wanting to actually give it the person, seeing what they said. Sidney nodded. "Yeah besides I have something I need to give to you" 

She clapped her hands. "Ohh sounds exciting" 

Sidney rolled his eyes as they finally arrived at the vicarage. Mrs m had the door already open and waited for Sidney to join them all in the warm. 

"You sure she won't mind?" Amanda asked, amusement alight in her eyes. 

"She won't bite I promise" Sidney smiled back as he led her inside and to his study. He rummaged around in a draw until he found the letter addressed to her. "I didn't want to look at this - even though I had written it. I thought it would be best to show you what I had left you in case of ...... Complications" Sidney didn't want to say in case he died. He held it out to her and she stretched her hand out - taking the piece of paper from his hand, her fingers brushing his. "What is it?" 

" a letter to you- I don't know what the other me wrote in it" Sidney replied, apologetic. 

Amanda looked at the piece of paper in his hand tracing her name that Sidney had written. She opened it up. Sidney's hand writing filled the entire page and she began reading. 

Sidney waited patiently, watching for her facial expressions. Amanda rose her hand to cover her mouth as she got half way down, her eyes started to gleamed with tears. 

"What is it?" Sidney asked. "What did I say?" 

Amanda shook her head as she finished it off and then folded it back up, bringing her hand to wipe the tears from her eyes, being careful not to smudge her mascara. 

"What did I say?" 

"You were saying your goodbye to me."


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> georide finds a little usual information on Sam and then questions anka along with Sidney...

Sidney kind off already knew it was a goodbye. All of the letters he had written had been. Also explaining some straight forward things to why he was saying goodbye. He stepped closer to Amanda. "What did it say?" 

Amanda handed it over wordlessly, turning round pretending to be busy with reading bits of random paper on his desk. 

Sidney looked away from her and unfolded the piece of paper and began to read his own messy handwriting. 

Amanda,  
You're probably at wits end with worry about where I am along with the rest of them but don't worry, let me tell you this- stop looking for me.  
I know that probably sounds harsh but just forget me. I'm not worth to be remembered after all the hassle I've brought onto Sam. You remember him don't you?  
I'm sorry I never asked you to marry me - I thought you deserved better. I couldn't give you a life you deserved. I wish that things could have been different and that I had but I can't. I also can't change anything about this current situation.  
Can you do something for me? Promise me something?  
I want you to forget me Amanda. Just pretend I never existed. It's safer that way. I'm sorry to have to say goodbye to you in a letter, this whole situation - it's not safe.  
I'm going to have to end this now, but I hope you're happy Amanda and my last request is that you fulfill life- don't let it get cut short and enjoy every single minute.  
Love Sidney. 

Sidney folded it back. Damn, that was deep. He suddenly felt extremely awkward around Amanda. He tried to ignore it and continue like he hadn't read that. 

"So whatever had happened you really thought you were going to die?" 

Trust Amanda to start talking about it. Sidney nodded. "That's what I get from all the letters. I didn't plan that I was going to live" 

"It's really sweet what you wrote." 

"I can't remember writing that so please - don't question me on any of it. I don't remember" Sidney asked, hastily opening drawers to find that diary. He couldn't remember where he had placed it. 

"I'm sorry" Amanda replied. She took the letter from his desk and slipped it into her bag- she wanted to keep it. Sidney eyes followed her hand movements as she did it but he didn't comment. He opened the last draw and gave a sigh of satisfaction as he pulled it out, dumping it on his desk. "Found it" he pulled his chair out and slumped down, opening the cover. The cover, he hadn't noticed at first, looked old and faded and had a distinctive red patch in the top corner. He hadn't noticed it before , properly because they headed to Sam's straight after.... he quickly directed his thoughts away from sam , as guilt filled his stomach again. 

"What you looking for?" Amanda asked curiously, stepping up behind him , leaning over his shoulder slightly, her black hair tickling his cheek. 

Sidney ignored the soft tickle of her hair against his cheek and turned to the first page that had his messy writing on. "Anything that will help with a lead on what's happened to Sam" he explained. "When I first found this I only read a few pages, now is a good time to read all the pages" he turned back to the diary. 

It was dated the 20th October. The day after he had disappeared. He started to read it, Amanda peering over his shoulder. 

'At least this way I can get my head round everything that happened with Gary. I'll be back in a couple of days. I have no idea why I have this on me...... Someone gave it to me - saying writing down your thoughts means less bottled up inside.' 

Well, that wasn't a lot. Sidney thought but that was only the first page. He turned over, determined to skim through it, still finding nothing about who's after him, just saying that he's staying with the smiths. He past the page dated the 25th of October, knowing he had already read that, and then a couple of pages later, what he had been writing took a drastic change. 

~ 27th October 1953.  
'The baby sitter had clogged on to who I am, she keeps cornering me in the corridor- it's getting creepy. I need to get back to the vicarage- I need to leave in a few days- at least to make sure Melanie's okay. I should probably go back to the vicarage - forget everything and just go home. 

So that proved Geordie's theory. Anka knew exactly who he was. He sighed heavily as he changed the page. This was going to take a while to comb through everything he had written.

~29th October 1953  
She's threatening me in the corridors of their house now. I don't know why. She must know about what I have- otherwise why would she keep threatening me? She knows I have it-  
I can't go back to vicarage .... It's too dangerous - I'm in this alone now. I need to finish what I've started. 

"Wow - getting into your thoughts is actually quite scary" Amanda concluded, leaning away. "I never knew how ..." She tried to think of the right word. "... Dark - this situation was" 

"Well you asked to help" Sidney sighed. The next diary entry was the 2nd November. He had already read that at the bank. That's where his journey had began- running from his previous life - everything that had been created - every person from his life was against him- well not entirely everyone, just the people that knew what he had - whatever that was anyway. Then after the 2nd diary entry was dated the 6th November. Whoever it was had gained on him, and he had dyed his hair black. The page next still read three words 'they've found me' he still couldn't make out the date, he had smudged it badly when writing this obviously. 

"I wonder what date I had come across Sam..." Sidney said more to himself. The next few pages were blank, some filled with some red splotches he prayed weren't blood. Then he came across a page full of writing, some of it was smudged but he could make out the date... 

~18th November 1953  
What to say? It's the 18th November- almost 10 days since I last wrote in here ... I'm sitting at the moment - on the floor in the living room of my ex friend Sam. I would say you're probably wondering how I got here - but you're just a book.... You don't care where I've gone or what's happened to me. The last few days have been uneventful - they had kept me detained - they I mean anka and her crew- torturing me .... Trying to get the answers from me. I've lost what they want and they don't believe me. The bruises will heal but they hurt so badly.  
Anyway back to the reason why I'm at Sam's ..... (Some off the writing was smudged from this point, Sidney couldn't make out was it said) I don't know why I came here... I guess because it was my last hope - my only hope - of survival. The doctor said my arm should heal in a couple of weeks , and that the rope burns will take a while to heal up- they may scar I don't know. The floor is actually getting quite uncomfortable but I don't want to move - Sam's in bed right now - I was too wound up to go to sleep, besides I had other things to contend with - my arms are bleeding at the moment .... I don't know why I did it .. Maybe to at least feel nothing for a change instead of feeling everything .. 

Sidney dropped the book back on the desk as if it had burned him. He I bottomed his shirt sleeves and dragged them up to his elbows, the faded scars there glistened white and he traced his fingers against them. '- my arms are bleeding at the moment .... I don't know why I didn't it ... Maybe to at least feel nothing for a change instead of feeling everything..' These words were going round and round his head. So these scars on his arms and wrists were in fact done by himself , not by his kidnappers. Why had he done it? Had something pushed him so far over the edge that he just snapped? He shook his head again. This was definitely a finding he wasn't going to tell Geordie - some things were better left unsaid ....

"Are you okay? You dropped that book like it had burnt you" Amanda asked. 

"I'm fine." Sidney replied , turning his attention back to the diary. This entry was the 18th November was long .... 

'Me and Sam argued earlier - he left me in the living room , angry with everything I had said ... But I'm grateful to him for everything he did.  
I often find my thoughts returning to grantchester - I wonder what they're doing right now? Are they missing me? I know I'm missing them ... Terribly. I suppose i should know what it cost - to sacrifice everything - my life I had created so these.... Monsters... Would just leave everyone alone. I thought it would be easy to forget them all... Unfortunately it's proving harder then I thought. I should get some sleep now - it's just ticked midnight. Well I say sleep - it will probably consist of nightmares filled with torture ... Some days I wish I could change the past , unfortunately of all people I should know no matter how much you wish - that could never ever happen... ' 

He didn't know how he felt about that diary entry. It was - different - to all the others he had read. This was more intense. He picked the diary up and a note poked out, from the between the pages. Confused, he opened it. 

The note read only two words 

'I'm sorry' 

I'm sorry? What did that mean? And who's handwriting was this? How had they found this? He looked to the diary entry and opened it to where the vote had fallen out, Quite far from where he had previously been written. He knew he should go back and read the others before he read the last one but something was drawing him to read it. it was the last one written in the diary and it was dated the 12th January 1954

' I don't know what's happened. I don't know where I've been. I cant remember whats happened. The last thing I remember is leaving grantchester after Gary bell had been hung, Pages of my diary have been ripped out and I'm dumped somewhere I don't recognise. I'm scared and have no where to turn to ... Blood is dripping from my forehead like a water full, there's so much - I'm certain I'm going to die. As I write this I feel my life slipping away in the flow of the blood -there's just so much - my hands are shaking so badly I'm struggling to write this. I just want to go home - but I don't know where home is. (The pages had splotches on that had smudged some of the words - He concluded they were from tears. he had been crying when he had written this) I don't know who to call or what to do. My vision is starting to go. Now I know death is coming - whoever finds me - I want to give you instructions - I don't know whether you'll read this - but please - put this in London in the bank - my name there is James Matthews. Please .... I don't know even know who I -- '

It cut of there , he must have passed out when writing this. He had left instructions to whoever found this? Why? Whoever it was must have done just that. Then it hit him - the person who had found him had been Cora ...

Why hadn't she said anything? That she had followed his near death wish? So many questions ... He quickly flipped back and realised that some pages had been ripped out. In fact neatly all of them. All of December and parts of January. Whoever it was had ripped the pages out of his book and left that note saying 'I'm sorry' 

The last diary entry written in November was dated the 28th 1953. It was only a short paragraph ...

'I've decided to leave Sam as well. He's getting too mixed up in this - they'll kill him if he carries on. No- it has to be me that finishes this war. I've left Sam a letter - I hope he understands. At the moment I'm writing this while standing in the doorway of his bedroom, I've left the note on his bedside table .. That why he'll find it. It hurts to not say goodbye - to everyone really- but they can't come any further with me on this journey. I do this - alone... ' 

That was it. The rest of the pages had been ripped out - why hadn't he notices before? "No - no no!" He cried. "Why!?" 

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked. She came to stand behind him. "What?" 

"Whoever had me ripped out the pages I most need! I now have no way of finding out what I did throughout December! And Most of January!" He was shouting now but he was too angry to care. " this was my only hope off finding any connection to Sam but the pages are missing!" 

"Look calm down and think logically..." 

"No. There's no hope anymore Amanda! Can't you see that!" He pointed towards the diary in anger. "That! Was my only hope and it's ruined! Now I'll never know what happened to me!" He turned away from Amanda, hoping she wouldn't notice the sudden tears that filled his eyes.

She came up behind him, sensing his anger and frustration that radiated of from him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "You'll figure this out Sidney... I know you. You're strong" her other hand found his and she turned him round. She reached up , brushing a hand across his forehead, pushing his hair from his face. 

"How can I? If I can't find anything useful from that diary?" 

"Shhhh..." She held her finger to his lips. "You will find away Sidney. You're strong and brave. You will find a way" 

He smiled, his eyes locked with hers. He could really sense her now and all the emotions that he felt for her...

The sharp shrill of the phone broke their eye contact and she pulled herself away from him. Sidney was relieved in a way that the moment had been interrupted. Amanda was married. She wasn't available to him... He went out into the hall and answered the phone. "The vicarage" 

"I think I've something of interest" 

"And what's that?" Sidney asked. 

"Come to the station. I'll explain when you get here" Geordie replied. 

"I can't ... I have work to do... I'm really behind" Sidney replied. 

"It's got something to do with Sam." 

"You found information on Joshua?" Sidney replied. 

"No.. But something else has come to light which narrows down who could have poisoned Sam. So get over to the station" Geordie said to him, his tone serious. 

Sidney nodded and rang off, heading to pick up his jacket. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Police station"Sidney replied as he pulled it on. He turned to face Amanda. "He's found something to do with Sam"  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
"What is it?" 

"I did a little research into that poison that the doctor said it was. It's definitely from Poland" 

Sidney stared at him in disbelief. "You didn't drag me all the way here to tell me that did you?" 

"No course not." Geordie replied. "I was thinking about what you said last night - about anka. I think she has other people working for her outside of prison." 

"So you're finally agreeing with me that if was anka that poisoned Sam?" 

"Not exactly. Remember Sidney... Anka's in prison but!" He quickly carried on so Sidney didn't get a chance to interrupt him. " her brothers outside of prison. I think he's working for someone. I checked both of their records - anka and her brother - they've only been in this country for 5 months. A month before you went missing. " 

"what are you getting at...?" 

"This was planned Sidney... They knew he was helping you. They knew someone would help you so they obviously brought back the poison. They also knew how much exactly would kill him, and gave him just a hint less so enough to put him in critical condition but still alive. Unfortunately ..... We can't prove any of this - it's just a theory" 

"But a theory that is correct" Sidney pointed out. " and besides - we don't know if he'll survive... He still hasn't woken" "Like I said - we don't know that Sidney ... It's a theory" he took in Sidney's expression as he told him about Sam and softened his voice. "He'll pull through. I'm sure of it" 

Sidney leaned back in the chair and avoided eye contact. He felt disappointment swell up inside of him like a balloon- he had been hoping for more of a way forward in all of this. 

"There was something else I called you here for ... Now it's up to you if you want to I'm not forcing you considering what she did to you last time..." 

"What Geordie?" 

"We're about to question anka- about you, about Melanie - everything. It might help matters with getting her talking-" 

"I'll do it" he was eager to do something to get his mind off of Sam. He wanted a distraction from everything that had happened and by questioning anka maybe they'll get more answers. "I need answers Geordie...." 

Geordie nodded, knowing there was no way of telling him he didn't know everything. This was Sidney- he didn't let go of anything until he had all the details and facts of a situation. 

Geordie took Sidney to the questioning room where anka had been placed. Once Sidney saw her through the window he subconsciously paused. The memories of his previous meeting with her flooded to the surface. Geordie noticed his sudden hesitation. "You don't have to come in if you don't want to" 

Sidney shook his head. "I'm fine." He followed in after Geordie into the room and closed the door. 

"Nice to see you again" anka greeted them with a sarcastic tone. 

Sidney ignored her, sitting down on the other side of Geordie. 

Geordie opened up a file and then looked up at her. "Tell me, where's the girl? Melanie smith?" 

Anka smacked her lips together and turned her head slightly. 

Geordie sighed. "Jealous of her were you? So you took her from her family? Wanted her for yourself did you?" 

"Tell me inspector - did he tell you the rest of his story?" She jerked her head in Sidney's direction. 

"Answer my question anka" Geordie said. 

"No - I didn't take the brat" anka said. She sounded bored as she exhaled. 

"Do you know who took her? Do you have other people working with you?" 

She didn't reply, looking at her shoes instead. 

"Did you take her Anka? Do you know who took her?" Geordie said, rising his voice. 

"Piss off" 

Geordie decided to change tac tic as he leaned against the table, his anger rising. "What about the attempted murder of Sam Milburn. Was that you?" 

She scoffed. "I don't know the guy" 

"Oh we know you do. Friends with Sidney. You told your minions to kill him, do whatever it takes to get Sidney." Geordie explained. "So tell me - was sam getting in the way of your plans? You went to big measure to try and kill him?"

"I don't know nothing" she replied. 

"Oh I think you do" Geordie replied sarcastically. He slapped the picture down on the table of the one that Sam had left for sidney. He pointed to the one of the right. 

She shook her head. "I don't know him. If he knows him" she jerked her head towards Sidney. "Why isn't he under suspicion" 

"I'm not a killer" Sidney snapped. 

She smiled seductively, brushing her tongue across her teeth. "We'll see about that sweetie. I know you were in the war. Saw the marks on your back. You killed I know you have" 

Sidney wanted to slap the smirk off of her face, but restrained from doing so, instead ignoring her, the blood boiling inside of him. 

"Sam was poisoned by a poison found in your country." Geordie explained bringing the conversation back. "That seems to narrow down the list of suspects don't you think?" He said sarcastically. 

Anka sighed and leaned forward. "Just because I'm from Poland doesn't make me the killer" 

"No but the motive does" 

She scoffed. "You haven't got nothing against me" 

"Suspected kidnap, assault, abduction and now attempted murder?" Geordie raised his eyebrow. "I think that will go just fine in keeping you here" 

"You have no proof that was me! And besides the day that boy was poisoned i was here. Don't that count as my -how do you say in English ....- alibi?" 

"Maybe so but that doesn't mean that you didn't know it was going to happen" Geordie leaned forward. "So tell me - who poisoned him. Was it your brother?" 

"He's not here" 

"Stop protecting him Anka." Sidney cut in, he stood up from where he was sitting. "Just admit what you did. Who are you working for?" 

She shook her head. "You really are stupid aren't you? Why would I tell you who im working for? I thought you were better then your friend but turns out you're just as stupid as each other" 

Sidney came closer to the desk, leaning his hands on it. "I know it was you. You threatened to harm him and now he's in hosptial. You hated the girl for liking me and now she's missing." He exclaimed. "Everything revolves around you!" 

She laughed lightly, almost like bells. "Oh Sidney - you're forgetting someone else this all revolved around." She said softly. "You" 

Sidney leaned back a little taken aback by what she said. Geordie took that distraction to his advantage and grabbed hold of arm. "Let me do the questions Sidney. Sit" 

At first he didn't respond but then he pushed away from the desk and sat back down, anger clearly written across his face. 

Anka smiled proudly, obviously feeling proud of herself that she had upset him. 

"Tell me about what you did to Sidney hmm? Those months he was missing from here what did you do to him?" 

She laughed. "Oh you'd wish you knew don't you?" She laughed again. 

Geordie had had enough of her, he stood up, coming beside her and grabbed her hair, automatically getting a squeal from her. "You listen here you bitch - he's my friend and I went crazy when he went missing so let me tell you something. If you don't tell me what you know about melanie, about Sidney, about sam then it's not going to be very good for you. we'll break you ..... pull every inch of detail from you that you know. " He let go of her hair, coming to sit down again. "If you want it that way then so be it but I suggest you get talking and quick" 

The smile from her face had gone and was now replaced with hatred. It didn't do too kindly for her features, making her face seemingly all out of proportion. "You don't know what you're up against. We'll break you first" 

"What do you mean?" Sidney asked, interrupting again, after all that's what he did best. 

"I'm not saying anymore. You can all go to hell" she spat, sealing her lips shut. 

Geordie sighed, standing up. "Come on Sidney. Let's go. If she ain't going to talk then be it." 

Sidney stood up, not liking the feeling of failure. He followed on after Geordie. 

Just when the reached the door Anka began to speak again. "I don't know why you're protecting him inspector. You don't know what he's done, Why we need him." 

They paused as Geordie turned back round, Sidney following on a couple of seconds later. 

"What do you mean?" 

She laughed Evily. "He's not worth protecting inspector. That's all I'm saying" 

"And neither are you that's why you're going to prison, now shut it unless you have something useful to say" they began walking out again, Geordie grabbing hold of the handle and opening the door. He allowed sidney out first, making sure he was out of earshot before turning round and saying, "have you any idea what we all went through? Trying to find him? We thought he was dead - that we weren't ever going to see him again. You need to stop chasing him Anka .... whatever your boss ordered you to do- it's over. Leave him alone. You've done enough to hurt him" 

"Oh dear" she said sarcastically. "It's not that simple sweetie. He has the key" 

"The key to what" 

"The answer to everything" 

Geordie didn't know what she meant but decided he didn't want to so he stepped out and shut the door. That hadn't gone to plan. He had hoped to find out more- especially Sidney - poor Sidney. 

He found him a little further up the corridor unsure of what to do with himself. "I'm sorry Sidney" 

"It doesn't matter - I knew she wouldn't talk" he turned to face Geordie. "It has to be her Geordie ... It has too!" 

"Sam or Melanie?" 

"Both!" 

"Well she has no alibi for when Melanie was kidnapped but she does when Sam was poisoned. She was here Sidney - all the time." He said gently. 

"She has people working for her outside of prison I know she does Geordie...." 

Geordie decided to switch the subject. "Listen ... I did a little background check on your mystery guy - Joshua pindler. It appears he's not even on the records of this country. So we checked further overseas. The only place where there is a legal josha pindler is in Poland- and that's not even his real name. It's Mackenzie. He has a sister.." 

"You mean..." 

"Yes" 

"So it's..." 

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry Sidney" 

Sidney sat down, suddenly feeling too weak to stand. "I should have realised it was the brother. I thought he looked familiar but when he told me he knew Hildegard I just sort off - dropped my guard." Sidney didn't know how we felt about this. He had let a Potential murderer into his house in which Sam had been the victim off. He buried his head into his hands. "This is just one big mess! I should have been more careful... Now it makes sense..." Sidney looked back up to Geordie. "What the doctor said about that poison Sam had been given. After 2 hours you fell extremely ill" he quoted. "I arrived back at the vicarage about 2 hours after that guy had left. It all fits now I suppose... But how on earth did he slip him poison? I was with him the entire time.." His mind wondered off to that day, off all the events that had taken place. He just couldn't lay a finger on when Joshua - or should he say - Mackenzie - could have slipped Sam the poison. None of this was making sense to him and it made his head hurt. He stood up. "Well if that's all- I'm gonna head off...." 

"Visiting Sam are we?" 

"He helped me Geordie - nearly got himself killed doing it - now it's my turn to help him" 

"I didn't mean anything by it.." Geordie answered back. He clapped his shoulder. "You'll be alright?" 

Sidney nodded and turned round, suddenly remembering the diary and turned back. "Geordie wait- I've got something to tell you too" 

Geordie walked back to him. "What is it?" 

Sidney didn't know how to begin. "I went through that diary I had kept with me..." 

"Well? What did you find?" Geordie asked. 

Sidney opened his mouth then closed it again. He didn't know how to tell him that they were at a dead end. He opened his mouth again, sensing Geordie was waiting patiently for him to answer. "You were right about anka knowing me from the beginning - but it only goes up to the 12th of January ..." 

"Well that's good isn't it? You were found on the 19th .. So what if a few days are missing?" 

"No Geordie it's not like that." Sidney replied. "The 12th may have been the last one but - the one before that was dated the 28th November. The ones in the middle have been ripped out..." He watched as Geordie's facial expressions changed. 

"You mean... All of December is missing?" 

Sidney nodded. "I'm sorry..." 

"You don't need to apologise ... I'm so sorry Sidney - that had been the last hope of finding out what had happened. We'll find another way Sidney .. I promise" 

"And if we don't?" 

"We will Sidney" Geordie said with more confidence then he felt. He knew he had to reassure the man in front of him. "We will... Now go and visit your friend. Let me know when he wakes" 

"Why would you want to know?" Sidney asked before he could stop himself. 

"I'm not heartless Sidney.... You may have accused me all those months ago of having no compassion and he may have done some things that are unforgivable but no one should have to go through that - I wouldn't wish that on anyone." Geordie explained.

"Again - I'm sorry about that.." 

"You've already apologised Sidney" Geordie waved his apology off. "And second off all- once he wakes we'll need to ask him some questions- see if he remembers anything" Geordie added. "Don't worry - we'll find that brother of hers. Even if it kills us" 

Sidney nodded. "Thank you" he turned round and headed out of the police station passing Phil as he went. Sidney ignored him as usual , not needing his comments but he commented anyway. "Geordie told you his findings then?" 

"Yes" Sidney responded and carried on before he had the time to reply. He turned his bike round and cycled up towards the hospital, arriving several minutes later. He jumped off the bike before it had properly stopped and leaned it against the wall, before running up the stairs taking two at a time and coming to the desk. The woman from the first time was sitting at the desk and pointed to he same corridor as last time - continuing with her conversation on the phone. He nodded his thanks and headed down the same corridor he did previously, turning right into Sam's room. He hadn't moved from the last position he had been in- nor had any of the hospital equipment become less or more. Thankfully it hadn't become more. 

The doctor from before poked his head round, realisation dawning on his face immediately. "Oh! It's you again" he exclaimed. He turned round and took his glasses off again. "No change by the way" 

Sidney nodded. "Do you know when he'll-" 

"- wake?" The doctor finished off for him. He shook his head, regret in his grey eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't know. It could take a couple of days- maybe a few weeks. I just do not know." 

"He is showing any signs of - waking?" 

The doctor again shook his head. "I'm sorry. This tonic that your friend was given- not many people survive but if you do you're in a critical way for a while. It can take ages to wake up." 

"Almost like a coma?" 

"I'm afraid so." He said regretfully. "If you need me- I'll be out in the office. I need to fill in some paperwork. You'll watch him?" 

Sidney nodded as he sat down, feeling the same numbness from last time. He looked over at Sam laying on his side, he looked almost like he was just sleeping. The only difference was Sidney knew he was deeply alseep, not knowing when he'll wake. 

"we know who did this to you.." Sidney said. "Turns out it was the brother. He was disguised as that man supposedly from Germany." He rubbed his hands over his face. "Geordie said he'll find him. I also looked through that diary. Someone's ripped out all the pages - so I don't know what's happened but I'll find a way. I will. I need to get this sorted - I need to win this war against them. They tried to kill you ... Who next will they try?" Sidney shook his head softly. "No - this has to stop now." He sighed again and leaned forward, resting his arms , folded, against the edge of the bed. "I know you can hear me.... Stop being stubborn and wake up hmm? Please..." Sidney looked away again up at the window, it was now dark and gloomy, in the evening. He looked at the time - it was nearly 10 at night. Time had obviously gone quickly. He looked back to Sam and touched his hand gently, willing for a response, before squeezing it tightly. "I'm sorry for not believing you at first about what you said. I didn't know - I was confused and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for letting him into the house - giving him easy access to harm you. It's all my fault- if only I hadn't run to you all those months ago you would be here now" his eyes were feeling heavy now - he was so tired. All the anger he had felt and frustration was taking its toll on him. "I don't know why I'm still talking to be honest. It's not like you're going to respond. But at least I know you can hear me. Well I think you can hear me. That's what all doctors say when someone goes into a coma. Well in your case - a similar state" he sighed and rubbed his hand across his tired eyes. "thank you for helping me all those months ago, saving me from them. I'm just sorry that I wasn't able to do that for you. I should have realised it was him the moment I recognised his eyes." Sidney sighed heavily and laid his head on his folded arm, his hand still on Sam's. "we'll get them Sam.... I promise. I'm just sorry you were dragged into all this without so much as a warning. It's my fault." His voice grew more sleepy as he felt more sleepy, his hand slipping from Sam's as he fell alseep, exhausted from today's events.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> madeline, Melanie's mother, comes round to speak to Sidney about a problem that has a arose  
> Also the archdeacon pops round needing to speak to Sidney....

Furious knocking at no more then 7'o clock woke Geordie up. He grumbled to himself as he heavily walked down the stairs, complaining that he had been woken up to early on a day where he had a later shift. He opened the door revealing Mrs Maguire. He blinked the sleep from his eyes. "Is everything okay?" 

"It's Sidney. He didn't come home last night"

The tiredness evaporated from Geordie. "What - what do you mean he never came home last night? I was with him - he left the police station.."

"Yeah well he didn't make it home." The anxiety was glittering in his eyes. "You don't think he-" 

Geordie shook his head. "No he wouldn't have fled again. He made a promise - he wouldn't." 

"Maybe he found something out? Decided he had to leave again? With no Sam to stop him ...." 

Geordie again shook his head. "No. He wouldn't have gone again. He was perfectly fine last night. There must be a reasonable explanation" 

Both of them knew another possibility but neither wanted to voice it out loud, making it seem all to real of a possibility. 

"Where did he say he was going to after being at the police station?" 

Something seemed to clicked inside of him and he looked up at her. "The hospital." He stated. "Sidney had said he was visiting Sam. I'm going to go over there" 

Mrs m nodded, thankful for at least a hint of where he might be. She turned round, walking off fast, her bag swinging on her arm. Geordie closed the door and headed back upstairs to get dressed before heading back down the stairs and closing the door softly so not to wake Kathy and the kids and turned the engine of the car on. He hoped Sidney had just stayed at the hospital all night and hadn't gotten nervous by the whole situation and done a runner. Jeez, he thought to himself as he drove. Sidney was seriously starting to become a flight risk and it was getting exhausting. If he had done a runner again then once they've found him he's going to keep a track of where is he at all times. This can't keep happening.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sidney felt a touch to his shoulder and it jerked him awake. "Hmmm - wha..." 

"It's just me" 

Sidney could feel the stiffness in his neck and gingerly lifted his head from his arm that had gone numb and started to tinkle as soon as the pressure from his head was released from his arm. "Wha.." Was all he could say, his thoughts fogged up from sleep. 

"I have to say - we're glad you didn't do a runner" 

"Why would you think that. I've only been here a couple of hours. " Sidney rubbed at his eyes to clear the sleep from them and also to process his thoughts clearly. 

Geordie chuckled. "It's the morning Sidney - almost 8'o clock" 

Sidney looked puzzled. Geordie studied him to make sure he was okay and could see the soft imprint of his jacket on his cheek. Boy, he really did look a mess. Then suddenly Sidney eyes widened. "Oh" everything suddenly became clearer to him.

"Finally got it?" 

"Oooooh... " he groaned. "Mrs m must have panicked didn't she? Thought I had ran off again" 

"Yep now it's slowly starting to come to you Sidney" 

"Ahh" Sidney moaned into his hands then took a deep breath and looked up at Geordie. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to cause any concern - I think I must have been tired when I came here and must have fallen asleep" 

"I can see that. Mrs m was worried, to be honest I got a little worried. You're a flight risk Sidney - honestly" Geordie replied. In truth, he was finding this rather amusing but wasn't letting on to Sidney. He decided tempers didn't need to be raised today. He decided to steer the conversation away, he didn't think Sidney didn't want to be further humiliated then he was already feeling. He indicated towards Sam's sleeping figure. "Has he woken yet?" 

Sidney shook his head, remembering his one sided conversation from last night. "No- that poison he was given has put him into a state almost like a coma. The doctor said last night that he isn't showing any signs of waking and it could take a while for him to wake" 

As if sensing he was being spoken about the doctor entered the room, stopping for a second in shook and then continued walking, hoping his surprise had gone unnoticed , unfortunately it hadn't and Geordie picked up on it. 

"Sorry I know I'm not supposed to be here but Sidney's housekeeper was getting worried when he didn't come home" 

The doctor waved him off. "It's fine. Don't worry about it. Although I'm going to have to ask you both to leave now. I need to change the medicines and check the the tonics completely out of his system" 

"Once it's out completely would he wake?" Sidney asked, standing up, feeling the stiffness in his legs also. 

"Its something I'm not sure about. The tonic effected him badly, it should have killed him, I'm not going to lie to you but somehow your friend is too stubborn to die. He could wake the day after its cleared or maybe a week after. I'll know more once we've checked how much is still in his system and also how much of his body it's effected" 

Sidney nodded, looking briefly over to Sam and then back to the doctor. 

"I'll call you if anything changes or if I find something you might find of use" the doctor promised. 

Sidney nodded his thanks. 

The doctor smiled and turned his attention to Geordie. "Have the police found who did this?" 

Geordie nodded. "We have someone under suspicion however he's vanished." He then added. "How can this poison be administered to someone?" 

"Well like I said to Sidney, it can be administered through different ways, put into food, drink, injected even a surface covered in the stuff and he's touched it. It's hard to completely figure out" 

Geordie nodded slowly. "Alright thanks" he opened the door and stepped out, looking behind him to make sure Sidney was following him. He was. Sidney fell into step next to him and they headed out. "You look a mess" 

"Thanks" 

"Am I taking you anywhere?" Geordie offered. 

Sidney shook his head. "I'm fine I left my bike out here somewhere...." He quickly scanned the front. "There it is." He turned to Geordie. "I'll be fine" he added. He could sense that Geordie was about to ask him something. 

"I know - listen... I'm going to head to work early see if I can find this Mackenzie. Keep a look out for him will you?" Sidney nodded and geordie continued. "We're one step closer I hope to solving everything - you - Melanie- it will all come together soon" 

Sidney nodded and watched as his friend drove away. He shivered slightly realising last night he hadn't brought a coat or jacket and the cold morning was biting at his skin. He jumped on his bike and pedalled as fast as he dared to the vicarage. He hopped off before it had stopped and hurried up to the door, knocking and then shivered again. 

Mrs m opened the door and looked at him a second before the shouting started. "You stupid boy! Why didn't you phone or something to tell me where you were! I was worried sick!" She started to bat him with the towel she was holding. 

"Ow. I'm sorry. I fell asleep at the hospital" Sidney replied. 

She stopped batting him. "Well you should have told me where you were! I was worried sick when you didn't come home. I thought either you've done a runner again or you've been snatched and neither of them were very comforting." She started to bat him again with the towel. 

"Alright! I'll call next time!" He surrendered, and Mrs m stepped aside to allow him in. 

"And look at that! You even forgot a coat in this weather. Typical! If you fall Ill Mr Chambers I won't be issuing one inch of sympathy for you" she stalked off back towards the kitchen where Sidney could smell that food was being prepared. "Where's Leonard?" He asked. 

"Took that blasted dog of yours out for a walk" she replied. "It was being a bloody nuisance. Missing you properly" 

"He's not an it Mrs m" 

"I don't care either way he's a nuisance" she called back, in her bossy tone as she began taking clothes of the washing line, folding them up. 

Sidney sighed, more in amazement. When was she ever going to get on with Dickens. He ran up the stairs and changed and freshened up. Falling asleep at the hospital hadn't done him any favours. He came back down the stairs just in time for Dickens to come running through the door that had just opened and began to lick at his hands. Sidney stroked him back, giving him the affection he obviously wanted. 

Mrs m came stalking out of the kitchen. "Couldn't the walk have been longer?" 

"We've been out for half an hour" Leonard replied nervously. 

"Well, it doesn't seem that long that's all" she headed back out to the kitchen and continued with what she was doing. "I want your jobs to be done today Sidney - and when I mean jobs I mean your jobs around your parish and in church not at the station." 

Sidney half rolled his eyes before replying, "yes" he could hear her mumbling back an answer but he was too tired to care what she was saying. He decided he should start on the work for that broken Window. He has started looking round but they were either too expensive or refused to do it. He decided to try again, after all that window had to be fixed sooner or later. 

Just then the doorbell rang and Sidney turned back round and opened the door. Madeline ,Melanie's mother, was standing by the door. She was wearing a soft checkered dress with her hair down." I'm sorry if I've called at an inconvenient time" 

"No no- you didn't interrupt anything. Come in" he stepped aside allowing her through and she smiled as she stepped past him. "Is their somewhere we can talk alone?" 

Sidney nodded, bringing her to his study. He closed the door so no eavedroppers could hear, (mainly Mrs m) and come to sit down opposite her. "Is everything okay?" 

She shook her head. "I don't know where to begin- everything with Melanie - it's just too stessful..." 

"Start from the beginning" Sidney offered. 

"It's just been a complicated and emotional time for me and my husband. With Melanie missing the house seems to empty. It's a her birthday tomorrow... And she's not here to celebrate it... And now this has happened.." 

"I'm sorry. That must be hard" Sidney said with deep regret in his voice. He studied her to see the emotions clearly going on inside of her. "What's happened?" 

She looked up at him, her eyes piercing his. "My husband- he's gone." 

Sidney hadn't been expecting that. "what - what do you mean he's gone?" 

"That's just it- he's gone. He left this" she handed him a note and he unfolded the piece of paper. 

Madeline,  
I'm sorry I've gone. I just couldn't face it- all the crying and the emptiness of the house. Our daughter, our eldest daughter, was taken and I just couldn't stay around and watch when the police find her, properly dead. It's been weeks now Madeline- they won't find her. I'm sorry I'm saying my goodbye in a note I just couldn't stay around and watch you slowly crumble. You're not the woman I married anymore.  
I've gone to my mums for a few days. Hopefully I can clear my head. I don't want you to try and find me Madeline. I'm sorry it had to be this way.  
~Michael . 

Sidney looked up at Madeline, noticing the tear tracks on her cheeks. "I'm sorry" 

"It's not like him to just leave!" She exclaimed, pulling a tissue from her handbag. "why would he leave me?" 

"Grieve does strange things to the mind" Sidney replied gently. "Would he definitely have gone to his mums?" 

"One thing with Michael - if he says he's going somewhere - he means he's going there." 

"Have you tried phoning him?" Sidney asked. 

She shook her head. "I want to respect his wishes. " 

"Right - where does his mum live?" 

"Just outside Cambridge."

"Have you tried visiting?" 

"I have but no one will answer" she replied. She sniffed as more tears fell from his eyes. "Why would he do this to me!? After everything with Melanie.. It's like he's given up hope that she'll be found alive" 

"The police with find her alive Madeline" he replied more confidently then he felt. 

She shook her head as her sobs started. "I'm sorry - I must look a mess" 

"No it's fine" 

"I just - feel so empty. It's not the same without my Melanie and now my Michael's walked out on me. I'm a useless mother and wife" 

"No you mustn't think that. You're a wonderful mother and wife. He obviously felt like he needed some space to think. What's happened to Melanie might have had an affect on him emotionally. " 

"I just don't know what to do. Everything's gone so wrong!" She started to cry heavily and Sidney didn't know what to do. 

"We can pray for them both together if you want" he asked, the only thing he could offer. 

She shook her head. "I wouldn't knew where to start. Everything's just falling apart. Please say you'll help me!" 

"Help you with what?" 

"Help me bring my Michael home. He's not thinking straight" 

"What do you want me to do?" Sidney was having a bad feeling about this. 

"Visit him. He'll listen to you... Like Melanie he liked you a lot as well when you stayed with us. He trusted you" 

"I can't exactly go over there... If he wants to be left alone then shouldn't we respect his wishes?" 

"He's not thinking straight Sidney... Please say you'll talk to him" 

Sidney didn't know how to wriggle out of and nodded, not realising what he was signing up for. As he shut the door after she left he briefly went over everything that had been said. How on earth was he going to visit Michael? He would have to think of a way, after all he had promised and he wasn't about to break that promise. 

"Who was that?" Mrs m asked. 

"Melanie's mum" Sidney replied as he headed back to his study, for something to do. Besides he wanted to be ahead of everything and start writing his sermon. Obviously, people had other ideas on that as the door went again. Sometimes , sidney reflected, it was hell being on call 24 hours a day. He turned back round, gritting his teeth and opening the door. Now he knew he was in trouble and he didn't know what. The archdeacon was standing in front of him. This couldn't be good, last time he had been here was about the broken window and considering Sidney still hasn't done nothing about it he could sense that he was angry. 

It turned out it wasn't about the window. Once Sidney had led him to his study, again closing the door, the archdeacon began his rant. "Sam's in hospital" he stated clearly. 

"I - I know. Someone poisoned him." Sidney replied. 

"I know. I went to visit." The archdeacon stepped a little closer to him. "I also found out that it appears to be the same group of people that are after you" 

Sidney hadn't a clue where he was going with this. 

The archdeacon continued. "First the boy and now Sam? You're not safe to be around anymore. Can't you see that? I suggest you leave" 

"What? I can't just leave!" Sidney replied. "And Matthew was found wasn't he? He wasn't harmed - and Sam- " he didn't know what to say about that. 

"And Sam just may never wake up?" the archdeacon added on. "Hmmm- sounds like your presence is hurting people around you and it has to stop" 

"How? Look - they'll be better protected if I'm around. I'm going to stop this I will" Sidney replied adamantly. 

The archdeacon didn't look so convinced. "It needs to stop now! Your parishioners can't be getting harmed because of something you've done" he cleared his throat. "Now - I'm spoken to the bishop..." 

Sidney didn't like where this was going. If the archdeacon had mentioned him to the bishop then he was done for. 

"I'm spoken to the bishop and he agrees with me" 

"About what?" 

"We're going to remove you from your parish" the archdeacon replied. 

The air seemed to have been sucked from the room as Sidney's mind registered the words that the archdeacon had just spoken. "What....? You can't possibly mean that...?" 

"I'm sorry Sidney - it's the only way. You've had a great time here there's no doubt but I think it's bet you move on. " 

Sidney was speechless. He didn't know what to say. "You can't be serious...." 

"I'm sorry Sidney." The archdeacon said. almost a hint of regret- almost. "There's a space opened up , up north. In Scotland. The bishop recommends you take it" 

This was happening all to fast and Sidney's legs were starting to feel a little shaky. It was slowly starting to register that he was being removed from his parish. "When?" Was all he could say. 

"I - we- want you gone in a month. throughout this time we want you to start clearing away and making preparations to head up to Scotland. Again - I'm really sorry Sidney." 

"You - you can't just move me to Scotland!" Sidney cried, his anger bubbling up to the surface. 

"I can and we will" the archdeacon replied. "You're too adventurous - too much trouble to handle. I can't keep you under my care - you're proving to much to handle" 

"So basically washing your hands of me" Sidney said. 

"In that text - yes. " the archdeacon replied. "I want you to take this job Sidney." 

Sidney just grunted, feeling to angry to reply. 

"I'll leave the forms for you here..." He placed a small pile of papers on his desk. "I want you to take it Sidney..." 

Sidney grunted again, not looking at him. He waited for him to leave, finally getting that satisfaction as the archdeacon turned around and left. Sidney didn't move until he heard he front door bang shut and then he sunk slowly in his seat, resting his forehead against his desk. He had screwed this up somehow - he had screwed up his time as the vicar here. He should never have left all those month ago. But they were all only if's. He couldn't change none of them. He didn't want to go to Scotland. That was too far from here- how would he visit- he didn't want to give up his friendship with Geordie and the police sleuthing. He couldn't tell geordie about this .... Could he? No, he would have too tell him, he would want to know why he suddenly disappeared again... 

How was he going to tell him? And Sam? And Mrs m? How could he say goodbye to all the people he had grown to care about? And Amanda? - no more visits from her either. He folded his arms on the desk and placed his head into it, squeezing his eyes shut. He found himself wishing for the second time that he could change back time... 

But could moving to Scotland be such a bad thing? He remembered the conversation he had had with Sam - about having a fresh start... Would moving to Scotland be such a bad thing? He shook his head. Maybe he had thought back then by having a fresh start was a good idea but now that he was being moved from Grantchester he didn't like the sound of it anymore. How was he going to tell Geordie? 

He knew one thing though - that he had to solve this once and for all and he only had a month to do so. He knew exactly who he had to call. He headed out of his study to the telephone in the hall and dialled in a number. He held the phone to his ear, eager for the call to connect- it did. 

"Hello? Listen ... New things have come up.. I think we should go along with your idea after all......" 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Cora explore Chichester and run into a bit of trouble while Geordie manipulate Anka into telling him where her brother is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the grantchester mysteries books they have Sidney's birthday as the 14th February

"Are you sure about this? I mean completely sure?" 

Sidney nodded. "I have a month to solve this otherwise I'm going to be moved up to Scotland." 

Cora nodded. "Have you told Geordie and that where you're going?" 

Sidney nodded. " I haven't told them everything but everything I feel they need to know. I need to do this Cora..." 

"And I'll help you- I did make the suggestion after all." 

"Hmm... That's true" Sidney replied. 

Once Sidney had called Cora explaining that he wanted to follow up with her suggestion of going down to Chichester , Cora had agreed straight away, making plans immediately of when the next available train to London then to Chichester would be, how long they should stay etc. at first Mrs m had been reluctant to let him go, obviously afraid that he wouldn't come back. Geordie had shared those same views too - but he had reasoned with them both. He had to do this. He has to find out exactly what had been going on. It stops now. So they had made plans to meet the following morning at london. So here he was now- on a platform in the cold with Cora. 

"What's going to happen if Geordie finds anything relating to Mackenzie and Sam?" Cora asked, breaking through his thoughts. 

"He said he'll call" Sidney replied. 

"Listen" Cora grabbed his arm. "Are you sure you want to do this? The first time I had mentioned it you seemed reluctant" 

"That was then... Before everything now that's happened" Sidney replied not looking at her. 

"I'm sorry about Sam, Sidney...." She trailed her hand down his arm until it found his hand and entwined her fingers with his, squeezing softly. 

"It's my fault Cora - and I'm planning on fixing this. " 

"And I won't get in your way - I just want you to make sure you're making the right choice" she said gently. 

"I am" Sidney replied. "There's nothing that will change my mind Cora... If you don't want to come it's fine I understand..." 

"No I'm coming. I made an oath to help you the day I found you" she replied, snuggling closer to his arm. "You're so warm" she exclaimed in delight. 

"Hmmm" Sidney replied as he fully became aware of the woman snuggling up beside him. She made him feel - different. Almost relaxed and at ease. There was a butterfly sensation going on in the pit of his stomach - something he had rarely felt before. Even with Amanda it didn't make him feel this way. 

She squeezed his hand again and then turned to the sound of an approaching train in the distance."there's our train -how, for the last time -are you absolutely sure about this?" 

"Positive" 

The train slowed to halt as it stopped at the station and cora opened the door stepping on. Sidney took a quick look round. He could just stop this trip and go back. He shook his head as he stepped into the train too, pulling the door closed shut behind him. This had to be done. He needed to know everything- and he only had a month.... 

He followed Cora down the isle of the trai until she came to an empty carriage and sat down. He sat down opposite her and glanced out the window as they began to pull out of the station slowly as they started to gather some speed. He turned his attention back to Cora. "So what's on the agenda?" 

Cora shrugged. "It's your trip. What do you think?" 

Sidney sighed and brought his hands through his hair. "I don't know. What do you think?" 

"I asked you that first" she exclaimed playfully. 

"Be serious" Sidney said exaggerated. 

She leaned her head back against the back of the chair and studied him. "Well we don't exactly know where you were - just that you went down south so maybe... Wonder round see if anyone recognises you" 

"So exactly like London?" 

She nodded. "It's the only hope we have. But don't worry Sidney. We'll figure everything out and i promise you it won't turn out like London" 

"Hmmm" Sidney didn't sound convinced but Cora decided to leave him to his thoughts. She knew he was distracted -probably still feeling guilty about Sam. She didn't want to interrupt him but a sudden thought had came to her. "Have you gone through that diary?" 

Sidney suddenly looked a little frustrated and sad and she wondered whether if she had crossed a line or not. "Have you?" 

He nodded. "It was a dead end" 

"How?" 

He started to explain about the dairy, watching for her facial expressions as he explained. 

"I'm sorry Sidney. But at least we know you went south" Cora said, offering her reassurance. 

Sidney didn't reply straight away as a person past them. He didn't want anyone listening in on their conversation. He waited for them to be well out of earshot before he said , "I could have said that Cora but then I could have been taken else where. Without the pages for December I just don't know" 

"Well we'll find a way together" she reached over grasping his hand again and squeezing it tightly. She knew she felt something for him- she could sense it now- but she was too scared to act upon it.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
"You again. When will you ever learn?" 

Geordie decided to ignore her, knowing she was only trying to provoke him. He sat down in the chair opposite her. He leaned forward. "Where's your brother?" 

Anka tutted and leaned back. "This again" 

"Where's your brother anka?" He repeated. 

"I do not know. Hopefully it a better place then this shit hole " she spat. 

Geordie leaned back, quickly thinking of ways to get her talking. He leaned back in his chair also. "Tell me- did you know your brother was carrying round poison?" 

"This again" she scoffed. "It wasn't us!" 

"Anka... We know it was." Geordie replied. "Now tell me- does your brother always carry poison?" 

She snapped her mouth shut. 

"What if I tell you that we found him- he had taken it himself. Killed himself. Would he normally carry such a thing as poison?" He said, the only possible way he could think of to get her talking. 

He sure her eyelids flicker as the emotion hit her. "What do you mean?" 

"We found him anka... Dead up in a clearing. He had taken it himself. Do you suppose it was of guilt? That he knew he had almost killed Sam Milburn?" 

"He wouldn't - he wouldn't have done that! He doesn't care who he hurts - so long as it pleases me" she replied angrily. "Where is my brother?" 

Geordie continued on as if she hadn't spoken. "Maybe he had a change of heart- couldn't stand his sister no more and her ways" 

"No - he wouldn't" Geordie could see her pondering on the theory he had dangled in front of her. He hoped it worked enough to get an answer from her. 

"He could have .... You wouldn't have known though would you? You're stuck in here" 

She looked up at him, anger in her face, her eyes flashing. "My brother is not dead!" 

"He is anka. We found him. Now you going to tell me why he tried to kill Sam?" 

She looked away from him. "I ain't saying nothing!" 

"I think you should" Geordie said. "I think you should start talking - now" 

"Piss off" 

"Your brothers dead anka.... Dead, and you want to know who's fault it is? Yours. It's your fault anka. You led him to his death" Geordie tormented, watching for her reaction. "Maybe you shouldn't have handed him too much poison to handle. He obviously couldn't resist.... And maybe it's the guilt of what you both do. Obviously he couldn't stand that his sister was a murderer- that she attempted to kill innocent lives of people around her and those who got in her way - instructed him to do the same. Live the way of life you saw fit for two children who had been damaged as a child" he dumped a folder on the table. "I've done my homework you could say. You're parents were alcoholics. Didn't give a shit about you and your brother. Abused you both. So you took it upon yourself to take revenge - revenge on the world for abandoning you and your brother-" 

"Shut up!" Anka cried. "Just shut up!" She breathed deeply and then smiled dangerously. "You have been doing your homework haven't you? Clever for you isn't it? I always thought police were brain dead" 

Geordie could sense she was trying to turn his game on its head- manipulate him back instead. He pushed on with his manipulation on her. "Forced a miserable life on your brother did you? Maybe that's why he killed himself? Of course - we don't know for sure what had happened...." 

"You think you're so clever don't you?" She snarled. "Well you're not! You'll never defeat me!" 

"Do you know what happened? Before you brother killed himself? Where he was hanging out at?" He asked casually. 

"He did not kill himself!" She screeched. her eyes had a wild look in them that freaked Geordie out but he had to keep pushing on for details. 

"Where was you brother last seen anka?" 

"Go to hell!" She spat. 

"Fine ... Well we'll just have to think that it was you that brought on his suicide..." He left the sentence hanging hoping for her to come clean on the whereabouts of her brother. 

"Shut up your bastard!" She shouted. "He wouldn't have killed himself because of me! If he did kill himself then it had to do with his environment- where he was staying! Which was outside of Grantchester in a flat near oakdene that was obviously being watched! He was doing his duty! Killing himself if someone asked for details on what we are doing!" She looked him in he eye - tears gleaming in her eyes. "We had to be careful! He was in fact honouring our code of conduct! Not because I pushed him too hard!" Her chest heaved as she breathes heavily with anger. "He had fulfilled his mission. He was always faithful, my brother was. Faithful to me! He had fulfilled his mission... To get that boy out of the way! He was being a nuisance"

A confession... Something he had hoped for. he didn't have to manipulate her anymore. He had gotten what he wanted. He stood up, picking up the folder. "Thank you for our little talk. It was quite entertaining. It looks like we'll be paying your brother a visit." 

Anka's head snapped up. "You said he was dead..." 

"Thank you for your confession also on what your brother has done to Sam. I'm sure he'll love to be joining you in this - as you call it- shit hole" 

"You told me he was dead..." She seemed almost puzzled and then it hit her. Her face screwed up in anger. "You bastard! You manipulated me into telling you where my brother was! He's not really dead you were just trying to get me to talk!" 

"It worked didn't it?" He shrugged as he headed to the door. As he hand touched the handle anka said something that was a little worrying. "This isn't over yet inspector. In fact - it's only just the beginning" 

He turned to face her again. "what do you mean?" But she refused to speak. He walked out - feeling a little rattled that she wouldn't tell him what she meant but at least he had the main information he was hoping for. "Phil? Go round to oakdene - in Cambridge. The brothers staying in a flat round there. Oakdenes pretty small- I'm sure you won't miss it" 

Phil nodded and headed off. 

Meanwhile Geordie headed back planning to call Sidney at what he found, he had almost dialled the vicarage when he realised he wasn't there. He had gone on that trip with Cora. He'll have to wait until he got back, or speak to him if Sidney calls him with he number they're using. He decided instead to head over to the hospital. See if Sam had woken yet- Sidney had asked that of him- at least to check. he owed Sidney that much at least.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
"Let me get this straight - we've been walking round for 2 hours- and so far - nothing" 

"Maybe - maybe you look different." 

"Come on Cora. It's getting colder and not to mention darker. We should get inside" Sidney replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It's the coast remember? It's colder here" 

"One minute ... maybe there's someone out there who'll recognise you" Cora said stubbornly, the crunch of pebbles beneath her feet disappeared as she stepped on to the sand off the beach. "Oooooh look- the tides going out" 

Sidney looked up, despite the cold hitting  
His cheeks, giving them a rosy glow. He watched as she stepped further out on the sand. She turned round. "Come on" she beckoned. 

Sidney sighed and stepped onto the sand, feeling himself sink just a little. He followed on after Cora, her figure dancing in front of him as she glided across the sand. She walked up to the water and crouched down placing her hand into it as the roar of the water filled her ears. "It's so peaceful" she breathed. 

"It is" Sidney agreed, listening to the roar of the water hitting the rocks. He crouched down also feeling the soft water against his pale skin. "It's so clear" 

"Look! A jellyfish!" Cora pointed out furhrer along the bank. 

As the sun started to slip down further, the glow glittering across the water, it was almost peaceful. Sidney almost felt like he could just forget everything and breathe - for the first time. Despite the cold Sidney felt like he never wanted to move- just wanted to enjoy this moment. He stood up from the floor, brushing off the sand from his knees. He watched Cora placing her hands into the freezing water, watching the waves wash over them in awe. She could feel his eyes on her and stood up, coming to stand beside him. "It's nice. You forget about everything for a while" 

"Hmmm" Sidney agreed. 

Cora slipped her arm through his and held on tightly, looking out over the water as the soft yellow, orange glow glittered gently on the water below. Sidney breathed out, sending a cloud of mist into the air. "It's so beautiful" 

"I know" she replied looking up at him. She leaned her head on his arm and snuggled closer, entwining her fingers in his. 

Sidney stilled as her fingers entwined his but he quickly recovered. She was a nice girl and he liked her , he wasn't going to lie on that. He squeezed her hand softly, looking out over the sea. If only this moment could last forever... 

"You know - when I first met you I didn't realised I'd end up here- on this beach like this." she shook her head softly and looked up into his face. "It's your birthday soon" she commented. 

"How did you know?" He asked. 

"February 14th" she replied as she shrugged. "I found it out through your reports at the hospital" 

"You sneaky-" he couldn't complete his sentence and just shook his head but smiled down at her. 

"The 14th is in a couple of weeks- also on Valentine's Day.... You got any plans?" 

Sidney shook his head. "No" 

"What do you mean No?" She exclaimed. "It's your birthday... A day to remember .. And as a bonus it's also on Valentine's Day" 

He shrugged, not saying anything. 

She leaned on his arm, forgetting all about the cold around her. All she was focused on what the man next to her. "Is there a lover on the horizon?" 

"Bit random" 

"Is there?" 

Sidney sighed. "No and before you say it. You're not the only one to ask and also assume I should have a woman" 

"You should!" She exclaimed. She leaned away from his arm to examine his expression and then rested her head back on his arm. "I had someone once..." 

"What happened?" 

"He left me... Good riddance" she scoffed. "He was abusive - especially when he was drunk- I'm just glad it's over" 

"I'm sorry to hear that" Sidney replied and he meant it. 

"At least it's over - I would never have met you if it hadn't" she looked up at him again, and their eyes locked. 

Sidney could feel his feelings screaming at him, he should do something about them - explore them. In the now darkened sky, he could make out her outline, her strawberry blonde hair rippling down her back. 

"I'm glad I met you Sidney" she whispered, brushing her hand through his black hair before reaching up and kissing him on the mouth. He wasn't prepared for it and froze but again, quickly, overcame it and started to kiss her back. for a moment he seemed to forget everything- about anka, Melanie , Sam - everything. her lips were soft against his and he enjoyed the moment. 

She didn't know what had made her do this but she weren't complaining. She had wanted to kiss him for ages but now had only plucked up the courage. She was glad when she felt him respond, she knew then that she hadn't crossed a line. 

The kiss was broken as Sidney pulled away. "Are you sure-"

"Positive" she replied quickly, pressing her lips back to his. 

"I've been waiting for when you'll turn up" 

They jumped apart as they heard a voice call out through the darkness. Sidney looked up and found a man, almost the same age as him looking at them. "You know me?" 

The man nodded his head. "Come" he beckoned him to him. 

"I don't like this" she whispered, grasping Sidney's hand. 

"How do you know me?" Sidney asked. 

"4 months ago you came here - and left something with me. I'd like to return it to you" 

"Could it be a trap?" Cora whispered. 

"I don't think so" Sidney replied, whispering back. 

"Come" the man said again and turned round, not checking to see if they were following. 

"I don't think we should follow" Cora hissed. 

"He has something of mine from those months Cora- I need to find out" Sidney replied. The man was further on now and Sidney began to walk, following after him. Cora grabbed him and yanked him to a halt. "Think about this" 

"I have. And I'm going. What harm could go wrong Cora?" He replied. "There's two of us and only one of him" 

Cora signed and together they followed on after the man. 

It was several minutes before they came to a stop outside a house. The door was a light creamy blue but that was the only thing pleasent about it. The rest of the house looked old and blackened with age. The man pressed on, opening the gate which creaked on its hinges and opened the door. For the first time he turned to check if they were with him. "Come in" with that he turned round and disappeared into the darkness of the hallway. 

"I don't like this" Cora whispered. "It's too scary" 

"I'll go in alone" Sidney replied. "You stay out here" 

"What if anything goes wrong?" 

"Then you'll be able to alert help" he replied, detaching himself from Cora and walking up the path to the house. He turned round and waved back before stepping over the threshold. He walked forward, hands held in front of him in fear of tripping or walking into something. "Hello?" 

"Come upstairs. It's in the bedroom" 

"Can you tell me what it is?" Sidney asked as he found the banner of the stairs and began climbing up. 

"You have to see it" 

Sidney suddenly had an uneasy feeling about this but didn't intend on backing out. Instead, he ignored the feeling. The higher he got the more the anxiety grew in his stomach. This wasn't right somehow- maybe he should have listened to Cora. 

"In here" the man turned a handle of a room and pushed it open, allowing Sidney through first. 

"Are you sure...?" 

The man nodded and pushed Sidney forward towards the room. It was in darkness and Sidney took a reluctant step forward. This definitely didn't feel right....

The man pushed him inside and closed the door behind him, locking him inside. Sidney turned and started to bang against the door. "Hey! Let me out! You can't keep me in here!" 

The man didn't respond but descended the stairs and headed into the hallway. He picked up the phone and dialled a number. "He's here. I've got him" he said once someone picked up. He put the phone down and headed outside. Now he had to get rid of the girl. "Excuse me- sorry I don't know you're name. Your friend seems to have taken a nasty turn. Quickly - fetch a doctor or something" 

Cora frowned in concern. "Oh my gosh! Is he okay?" 

The man shook his head. "No he is not. Quickly!" 

"Yes! I'll go" she began to run up the road and the man smiled after her before closing the door. Banging resumed upstairs. "Let me out!" 

"Shut up!" He called up. 

Sidney could kick himself- he had walked himself right into a trap. What about Cora....? He looked round, his eyes adjusting to the dark. There was a window at the back of the room and he pushed on it to open it. No such luck. It was rusted shut- no way of escape. He wiped at the crime covering the window and peered out - just in time to see Cora running. Where was she going? He banged on the window to get her attention but didn't appear to hear. He could remember the way her lips felt on his- he couldn't believe how everything had gone wrong - and now Cora was ditching him. No- she wouldn't do that - she would come back. 

He could hear the mans footsteps out on the landing and he ran back to the door. "Let me out of here! Now!" 

"Sorry no can do. They told me to keep you here until they came. I'm sorry. Truly I am" 

"Who are you working for?" 

"They said you'll know" 

"Is it anka? Is she the one controlling you?" 

"You could say that - it's her brother as well. Anka's in prison didn't you know?" 

"Yes I know" Sidney replied, anger in his voice. "Look" he reasoned. "Let me out. You know they're going to kill me" 

"If I let you go -they'll kill me instead. And I can't allow that. I'm sorry" footsteps started to walk away. 

"Wait!" Sidney cried. "Do you know what happened to me all those months ago? Why I came here?" 

"You must be mistaken. You never came here" the man replied. 

"What - what do you mean?" Sidney replied. 

"they caught up to you on the train so quickly, you never made it here. At least that's what they told me" 

"Where did I go?" 

"They took you somewhere else. I'm not sure. I watched them take you - I had created a distraction you see - and done it successfully. That's why they've trusted me with keeping you here" 

"What's your name?" Sidney asked. 

"Ryan" 

"Ryan- don't listen to them. They'll still kill you no matter what you do. It what's they do" Sidney reasoned. 

"Shut up!" Ryan shouted. He was determined not to listen to a word he says. 

"Ryan - listen to me- once she's used you she'll just discard you!" Sidney shouted, leaning closer to the door, attempting to hear what Ryan says. "That's what she did with a friend of mine. She got her brother to poison him. He'll do it again..." 

"She said she'll reward me..." 

This wasn't working. He had to try another tactic. "She's a lair. So is the brother" 

"She said you'll say that. She said you'll try and manipulate me in letting you go well- it's not going to work" Ryan said and walked away from the door as a knock sounded at the front door. "There he is now" 

"No! They're lying! You'll get yourself killed!" Sidney replied to door handle again and shook it but he knew it was locked. He backed away from the door and attempted the window again. "Come on" he muttered to himself, using all his strength to open it. He managed it a few inches but it was rusty. He couldn't fit through. Great - he had come to the end of his tether. He walked back to the door and placed his hands on it. How could he have been so stupid? He rested his head against and listened as Ryan opened the door. "Mackenzie.. He's upstairs- wait you're not Mackenzie.. Who are you?" 

Sidney snapped to attention and pressed his ear closer to the door in attempt to head more. The rest of the conversation was mumbled and hushed and then he could hear a woman's voice. 

Cora. 

She had come to his rescue. 

again. 

"Mackenzie sent me instead to collect the boy..." 

"i dont know who you are. what if you're an impostor?" 

"do you want me to blow a hole in you?" 

wow, sidney had never heard cora sound so threatening before... it was weird. footsteps started on the stairs. "where have you put him?" 

"he's in the bedroom ma'am" 

sidney backed away from the door as a key was insertd into the lock and the door was pushed open. cora was dressed in a black cloak, a hood over her head, her face hidden in the shadows. "is this him?"

"yes ma'am" 

"good. leave us alone please- i'll give your reward to you later" 

ryan nodded and headed down the stairs, leaving them both alone. Cora pushed her hood down. 

"I thought you had left me" Sidney replied. "I saw you running" 

"He told me you had fallen ill. I knew that was a lie - you could tell and plus I could hear you shouting from this room- so I pretended to be concerned and go get 'help'. Like it?" She twirled round in her cloak as it swept up from the floor. 

"You're amazing you are Cora you know that?" Sidney came up to her and without saying anything kissed her on the lips. He was glad when she responded and her arms came up to link together round his neck. 

"-huh? What are you doing here Mackenzie? You sent round that girl to collect him?" 

They broke apart quickly. "Oh damn it! He's here early!" Cora exclaimed. She looked round helplessly and then ran to the window. "Help get this open" 

"I've tried Cora... It's rusted shut" he went over anyway and together they pushed at the window. Finally it groaned open and Sidney peered out. "It's high up" 

"Not that high to kill us" she exclaimed as she peered out. "Maybe we could find some sheets and tie them together?" 

"Can you see any?" Sidney asked, looking round the dark room. 

"What girl? I didn't send no one here! You stupid man!" They heard Mackenzie shout and then the sound of glass smashing.

"Quickly. We have to hurry" Cora hissed through the darkness. "We're only on the first floor. If we jump I'm sure we'll be okay" 

Pounding footsteps sounded on the stairs and Cora and Sidney ran back to the window. "Okay. Let's do this" 

"I don't think you should do that if I were you" 

Sidney and Cora froze. He had caught up with them. 

"Well well... If it ain't Cora again. " Mackenzie sneered. "How are you?" 

"Go to hell" she spat. 

"Feisty isn't she?" He laughed. "Anyways" be turned to Sidney. "down to business" 

"What do you want?" 

"To finish what my sister started." 

"You'll go the same way" 

He laughed. "I don't think so" 

"You harmed people" Sidney replied. 

"That reminds me - hows your friend doing? Or has he died yet?" He sneered.

Sidney scrunched his hands into fists. "He's in hospital" he felt coras hand slip into his. 

"Pity. Well it won't be much longer before he dies I hope. I take it he hasn't woken?" 

"No" Sidney replied. "What do you mean?" 

"I put something else in that drink of his-so if the poison didn't kill him first then the second one will kill him. This one takes a couple of days to kick in you see" mackenzie sneered, grinning widely. "I'm avenging my sister" 

"Anka's in prison!" Sidney shouted. "This is over! It has to be!" 

"It's never finished!" He shouted. 

"On three we run" Cora whispered. "One ..... Two..." 

"I'll make sure it's finished" Sidney replied darkly. "Three!" 

Sidney and Cora ran towards Mackenzie, knocking him of focus. They ran down the stairs and stepped past Ryan's motionless figure on the floor. Sidney didn't have to look twice to know that he was dead. Blood was pouring from a wound on the back of his head. He felt bad that he had to leave him but getting out of here was their main concern - they couldn't help ryan. They ran out onto the streets and dived in and out of different side roads in an attempt of losing Mackenzie - unfortunately he was fast and kept close on their tail. 

They turned a rapid right corner into an alleyway and ended up facing a dead end. Cora frantically looked for a way out but found none. "We're done for!" She exclaimed. 

Mackenzie ran round the corner and came to a halt. "It's over now" he pulled a gun out of his pocket and clicked the safety off, pointing it at Cora. Cora froze. 

"No!" Sidney stood in front of her. "It's me you want. Leave her alone!" 

"I need you alive! Move it!" 

Sidney shook his head. "It's not going to happen" 

"Fine" Mackenzie replied. "Don't say I didn't warn you" he pulled the trigger and the gun went off. Sidney squeezed his eyes shut preparing himself for the bullet but the bullet never came. He opened his eyes slowly. 

"Sidney!" Cora cried as she came from behind him. She was trembling a little but was ignoring it. 

Sidney looked towards where she was looking. Mackenzie was on the floor, blood oozing from his chest. Sidney stepped further towards him, being cautious in case it was all a trap but no movement came from him. He kneeled down next to him and felt for a pulse. There was none. 

"What happened?" 

"The gun backfired" Sidney replied. 

"Is he...?" 

"Yes" Sidney stood up. 

"It could have been you.." Cora said softly. 

Sidney opened his arms and Cora ran to him squeezing him tightly. "You protected me" 

"Of course I did" 

She buried her head into his chest as sobs rose from her. He stroked her back and hair until she pulled away and reached her face up and pressed her lips to his. He could taste the tears on her lips but didn't care. They had almost died and yet here they were- somehow still fighting against everything. 

After what seemed forever Cora pulled away. "Did you find anything about why you were here?" 

Sidney shook his head. "I never came here" 

"But the dairy..." 

"I had plans of coming here... I just nerve reached here. Anka and her squad took me before I reached here" Sidney explained as they walked away leaving Mackenzie bleeding in the alleyway. someone will find him. They just had to get away. They couldn't risk being under suspicion of anything. 

Cora slipped her cold hand into his as they walked. After minutes of silence Sidney broke it. "Why didn't you tell me you had follower my wishes and put the dairy in London?" 

"What do you mean?" 

Sidney explained what he had written at the end of the last diary entry. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I didn't tell you because I never followed any instruction" 

Sidney pulled her to a stop. "What... What do you mean? You were the one that found me" 

"That's correct but when I found you Sidney - you had no diary on you.." Cora replied. 

Sidney was thinking fast. "That means - someone else found me before you and put it away" 

"Could be , but why take the dairy and leave you bleeding?" Cora shuddered. 

"I'm not sure either Cora" Sidney began walking again and Cora followed on. Both were shivering now from the evening bitter wind. "At least he's dead now Sidney..." 

"Yeah but that's only one of them - there's still anka and then rest of them" Sidney turned a right corner and Cora followed on. "Where are you going? The hotels that way" Cora said. 

"I'm going home Cora... If Mackenzie's right it's been two days since Sam took that poison. If he's telling the truth then the next one will kick in and this one could kill him. I want to be there- I need to help" Sidney replied. 

"But it's night" 

"I don't care. I need to go back home. If you want to stay here I understand but I need to get back. Please understand that Cora..." 

"I do understand and I'm going to come with you it's just - I'm not sure if we've missed the last train on not" Cora replied. 

 

It turned out however, that they hadn't missed the last train and had about 15 minutes to a train heading to London. It was 6 in the evening meaning they should be at Cambridge at around 10. Sidney hoped. He was worried about what kind of other poision Mackenzie had given him. He could kick himself- now Sidney could remember when exactly he had admistered the poison. Mrs m had brought in drinks- they had all taken one and then He had asked Sam to go upstairs and get the other sheet. He had had his back to Mackenzie the entire time. That's when he had slipped the poision into Sam's cup. He had been stupid and let his guard down and now Sam was paying the heavy price. 

Cora could sense he was over thinking the entire situation and she decided to leave him to it- squeezing his hand to let him know that she had faith in him. He squeezed her hand back and she smiled leaning into his chest watching the train for the distance slowly come into the station. It was an hour and a half journey and Cora knew Sidney was going to spend that fretting. She just hoped her presence could calm his anxious mind a little.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
A knock sounded at the vicarage just after 9 at night. Mrs m went to answer it and was surprised to see Sidney and Cora standing before her. "I thought you were spending the night in Chichester? What happened not that I'm interested. You should have stayed here- where I could have kept an eye on you. Plus there's still a sermon to be written Mr chambers..." 

"Not now Mrs m" Sidney said as he stepped inside, Cora behind him. " I need to call Geordie- now" 

"Can't it wait until tomorrow? It's 9 at night for goodness sake" 

"No it can't" Sidney replied. He was already dialling his number and was patiently waiting for the line to connect. Finally, it connected. 

"Geordie?" Sidney said. "Geordie- you need to come quick. We need to talk" 

"What the... Sidney I need to tell you something.." 

"Geordie - it's urgent. we've come back early" Sidney replied with as much urgency in his voice. 

"Okay I'm coming but Sidney?" 

"Yeah?" 

"They've gone" 

"Who's gone?" Sidney asked. 

"Anka and her minions. They've gone"


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the late update! had a severe case of writers block and just couldn`t seem to know what to write. I also want to apologise for the crappyness of this chapter, I had spent so long on it that I just wanted to get it out of the way. the next one will definitely be better.!  
> I'm sorry also about the length of this story - I hope you all haven't given up yet! - it should be finished with a few more chapters.  
> enjoy!

"We're still not sure on how they got out. Phil went to check on them - planning to question anka again - but when he got there they're cells were open. I've got men out there searching. They couldn't have gone far Sidney" 

Sidney was looking at Geordie, leaning against the desk, but he wasn't really taking in what Geordie was saying. Once again - anka had slipped away. Managed to do her deed and vanish. 

"I'm so sorry Sidney." 

"The brothers dead" Sidney replied flatly. "He tired to kill Cora and the gun backfired" 

"But that was before Sidney stood in front of me." Cora added in. "He protected me" 

Geordie turned to Sidney in alarm. "Mackenzie tried to kill you?" 

Sidney nodded. "He pointed it at Cora at first - I stepped in the way - he told me to move but I refused to" Sidney drew in a breath as he leant away from the desk. "So he pulled the trigger" 

"And the gun backfired?" 

Sidney nodded. 

"Why else did you come back? What did you find?" Geordie asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from missing suspects. 

"Nothing" Sidney replied simply. "I never made it to Chichester. They kidnapped me before I reached it" 

"So we're back to square one?" 

Sidney nodded and looked out the window, the disappointment settling in. He had hoped so much that the answers to his questions were held in Chichester but Mackenzie was dead - Ryan couldn't answer his questions either about where they had taken him so yeah - he was back to square one. They had hit a dead end. 

Cora came and entwined her fingers through his hand. "We'll figure this out together Sidney" 

"Did you ask if Cora was the one that had followed your instructions in that dairy?" Geordie asked, eyeing their entwined hands. 

Sidney nodded. "It wasn't her. When she found me I didn't have if with me" 

"Then who did find you before Cora?" 

"That's the question" Sidney replied biting his lip. 

Cora placed her hand against his cheek. "You'll be alright Sidney.... I know you will" she squeezed his hand before letting go and heading out of the study. 

Sidney watched her go, still feeling her warm hand against his cheek. 

"You sly old dog Sidney" Geordie said rather amused. 

Sidney's eyes flickered over to Geordie. "Not now" he turned round and began sorting out sheets, then rubbed his forehead. "Did you check on Sam?" 

Geordie decided to let it go- just this one though. He wasn't done questioning Sidney about his relationship blossoming with Cora. "Yes I did" 

"Is he...?" 

"No" 

Sidney nodded. He was expecting that. He was going to see him tomorrow - make sure that second poison doesn't do him any harm. It was past visiting hours now so he couldn't go tonight. First thing tomorrow. 

Cora came running back into the room. Sidney could tell straight away that something was wrong. "What? What is it?" 

"The nurse was on the phone" Cora said. "It's Sam"

Sidney's expression was question enough and cora started to explain. "He's woken but he's in so much pain again. They don't know what from- the elixir is out of his system but he's still in pain and his fever is so high it's beyond critical. They want you to go to him - see if you can help. They think he may not survive" silence filled the room after the spoke and she watched sidney's expression. 

He nodded and headed out but someone grabbed him back. "Wait - its late.... maybe you can wait till tomorrow?" 

Sidney turned round rapidly. "He may not last till then. I need to go and see him. if he don't surivive then it's my fault." He backed away softly towards the door. "He helped me three months ago Geordie .... now I'm returning the favour" with that he opened the door and stepped out into the cold air. He was only half way down the path when he heard the door open and close again, footsteps shuffling on after him. 

"What are you doing Cora...." 

"Coming with you" she replied ,falling into step beside him. 

Sidney was too tired to argue with her so he remained silent, allowing the silence between them to continue. It wasn't uncomfortable, in fact - it was a comfortable silence. It was strange that he felt so comfortable with cora though they've only known each other for a month. It felt longer. Much longer. He felt her hand slip into his and squeeze it tightly. He squeezed her's back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Sidney. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But you can't remember any of this. The things I've done - maybe sam will help you - you both were so close at school" 

Sidney's vision was blurry, his head hurt so much and he could feel wet stickiness on his face. He was slumped up against a wall with his back against it.He groaned softly as someone crouched down to his level. The face was blurry to him and going in and out of focus. His breathing was heavy and his eyelids kept dropping. The man in front of him grasped his shoulder before taking something out of Sidney's hand -the diary. Sidney watched from fuzzy eyes as the man ripped out some pages throwing them away from them and then he slipped a note inside before shoving it back into Sidney's hand. Sidney felt the man place a hand over his and wrap his fingers tightly round the diary. "I'm sorry" 

Sidney watched, unable to do anything as the man pulled a syringe out of his pocket, he leaned closer towards sidney and Sidney could see his face slightly clearer through half closed eyes. "No..." he mumbled as he attempted to move his arm sway from the syringe but the man latched his hand tightly onto his arm. Sidney felt a sharp pierce to his arm as the needle was injected in and Sidney could feel the soft coolness of the fluid running through his veins. 

"I'm sorry" the man said, sounding choked up before he vanished from Sidney's vision. Sidney attempted to call out but his head was pounding more then ever as the blood slowly poured down the side of his head as the world escaped into blackness, not before he saw a woman with red hair start to walk towards him, a big grin on her pretty face... 

"Sidney!" 

Sidney was jerked away as someone bumped him on the arm, which slipped off the end of the bed causing his head to fall. "Hmmm?" 

"You were moaning in your sleep... is everything okay?" Cora asked as she pressed a hot cup into his hand and sat down opposite him on the other side of the bed. 

"I fell asleep?" Sidney questioned as he rubbed his eyes. He already knew the answer. 

Cora nodded. Mmm- hmm" 

"How long?" Then "why didn't you wake me?" 

"About two hours and because you looked like you could do with it" cora took a swallow from her cup and held it in her hands. 

Sidney tore his eyes away from cora to the now quiet , sleeping figure of sam. "Is he alright now?" 

Cora shrugged. "He's stable at the moment but his fever's still quite high" to prove that statement Sidney reached over and placed his hand on his forehead , sure enough it was hot - too hot. When they had first arrived , sam had been awake but not really seeing. He had been complaining of stomach pains , extreme dizziness, and was being sick. he kept losing consciousness. His temperature had reached a point where it was dangerous and they had lost him twice both times managing to bring him back. Sam had grown quieter come the early morning hours and Sidney must have let his exhaustion seep through. 

"It's come down a little since earlier" Sidney said more to comfort himself then cora. 

Cora took another swallow from her drink' studying Sidney over the rim. Sidney could feel her eyes on him but didn't have the strength to summon up the energy to pretend he was okay when he wasn't. He was far from okay. "What time is it?" 

"Just gone 3 in the morning" she replied. The window behind her showed the darkness of the streets below, an occasional yell of someone from below bringing it's way to their window sounding almost like it was from another world. A doctor entered the room on his rounds and briefly checked the monitors and Sam's heart rate, timing it. 

"Is he alright?" Sidney asked, almost fearing the answer. 

"He's better then earlier but still not out of the woods." 

"He was given a second poison" Sidney explained flatly. 

"By the same person who administered the first?" 

Sidney nodded, his eyes flat. 

"We figured as much. Hopefully we've stopped it" the doctor replied. 

"You've stopped it" 

"Hopefully- we've stopped it" the doctor emphasised the word hopefully. "I can't guarantee we've prevented it. It could still kill him" 

Sidney nodded, words deserting him. They may have had their downs and yes he was still angry with him for what happened with Abigail but even so - at the end of the day they had been best friends and to watch him almost die twice was nothing reassuring. 

"Ill leave you both to it. Call if he wakes" with that he left them again. 

"Everything will be okay" cora said coming to stand behind him, hands squeezing his shoulder.

"And if they aren't?" 

"They will" she replied firmly, more confident then she actually felt. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm going to get some fresh air - you coming?" 

Sidney shook his head, his thoughts a million miles away. He knew now why sam had been poisoned, no that's not what was troubling him. In fact, it was the man he had seen in his flashback. Whoever it was , knew him- knew Sam. Had ripped the pages out of his diary. It was clear the man knew him- but sidney hadn't a clue on who the man was. How did he know him? This whole situation was getting so confusing lately it was exhausting. He felt guilty. If all those months ago he hadn't run off maybe - just maybe Sam wouldn't be here now - he wouldn't be here now either. Maybe Melanie wouldn't have been taken either. He thought back also to the conversation he and Geordie had had over the phone. His words echoing through him- almost sending chills down his back. "Anka and her minions. They've gone" ...

"-they've gone" 

It just seemed to echo round his head. He knew there were more that were hunting him down but to have her and the rest of them out there somewhere he was frightened at exactly what would happen to any one of his friends. He leaned over in the chair he was sitting on, elbows resting on his knees, head in hands. "This is just one big mess" he groaned softly to himself. "Just one big mess" 

"I wouldn't....go as..far ..as saying..that" 

Sidney's head snapped up. "Sam? What...." the shock turned to relief. 

Sam laughed weakly, as much as his abused throat would allow him too. 

Sidney started to move. "I'll go get someone for you..." 

"Wait-" sam replied, grasping Sidney's wrist. " I want to say - thank you" 

Sidney smiled back - relief that his friend had woken evident on his face. "I'll go get someone"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Is it clear?" 

"It's out of his system. He's clear." 

Sidney sagged back against the wall his hand finding cora's. "So he's out of the woods?" 

The doctor nodded. "With lots of rest and recuperation he should be up in no time" 

Sidney nodded. He couldn't even begin to think about what if he had been killed. How it definitely would have been his fault. He brushed the thoughts aside- what mattered what that he had made it and he was going to be alright. 

By the time Sidney and cora headed back into Sam's room he had fallen asleep again but Sidney didn't mind. He knew Sam was going to wake up sometime soon because of sensing them there or because the nurses won't let him sleep- wanting to check his pulse etc. 

"You should go home" 

Cora shook her head. "We're in this together. Besides - felicity's out visiting her parents again so I'll be all alone"

"where do her parents live?" 

"they live in Cardiff" she replied flatly. "she sees them regularly because of her mother" 

silence lapsed over them again and this time for much longer, each lost in their own thoughts. the time had just ticked to past 4 in the morning and Sidney could see cora rubbing at her eyes. before Sidney could point out that she should go to bed a nurse entered the room, froze for the briefest of seconds when she saw them but quickly overcame in and continued to the other side of the bed with a clipboard held under her arm. "what relation are you to him?" 

Sidney looked up when she realised she was staring at him. "erm - I'm a friend." 

"the doctor allowed you in?" 

he nodded. 

"he`s going to be fine. I think you both should go home, get some rest. " when she saw that Sidney was about to argue with her she quickly hurried on with a sentence that normally gets them thinking. "you`ll be no use to him If you`re fainting away from lack of sleep. he`s out of the woods now- he`s going to be just fine." 

Sidney realised that she was right. he should probably go home - get some sleep - probably worry the entire night. (well what was left of it)he nodded and stood up, feeling the aches in his legs from sitting too much. cora followed suit -almost zombie like. obviously she wasn't used to pulling all nighters. with everything that had been going on for the last couple of months as well as the night filled with nightmares from war had made him accustomed to frequent disturbed nights and all nighters. 

once they stepped outside, the cold started to bite at their skin. cora pulled her coat closer to herself. "its cold at this time of night" she commented. 

"hmmm" Sidney replied. he turned to her as they began walking. "listen - there`s no trains at this time of night so do you want to sleep round at the vicarage. its better then trying to find a hotel at this time" 

"thank you. I except. I'm not going to lie - I'm worn out." 

Sidney smiled as the reply left her mouth and they walked back towards the vicarage. half way into their trip cora entwined her fingers with his. he didn't pull away this time - he squeezed her hand back. 

cora was fighting to not smile. she knew she had feelings for him,it was obvious to her now and the simple action of holding his hand was making her feel all excited. she wasn't so scared anymore that he didn't have feelings for her. he had allowed her to kiss him, and hold her hand. surely that meant something. her cheeks started to grow hot against the cold as she blushed, thinking about Sidney. 

while cora was admiring Sidney, Sidney was at war with himself. he was nervous as pursuing a relationship with cora. what if it doesn't work? what would Amanda think? he shook his head softly. where had Amanda come from? he concentrated on the feel of her hand, so small compared to his. what if she didn't like him? he shook his head again. that was a stupid question espically for his level - of course she must like him - she was the one that made the move at the beach with the kiss. he subconsciously touched his lips. he could remember the feel of them against him. 

finally after about a 100 silent questions in Sidney`s head, they reached the vicarage. Sidney was shocked to find the lights still on. surely they didn't wait up for him..... did they? his unanswered queston was answered when the door opened as they approached.

"You waited up?" Sidney stated matter of factly. 

"Don't get used to it Mr chambers" Mrs m then realised the girl behind him, recognising her. "Oh hello. Nice to see you again" 

"Hello" cora replied, slightly nervously. 

Once they were inside, sleeping arrangments were made, goodnights and sleepwells were made and that's how cora found herself standing in Sidney's bedroom. Her eyelids felt heavy. All she wanted to do was crawl under the covers and sleep for about a hundred years. The chase and the gunfight was taking its toll on her as she shivered. She or Sidney could have been dead tonight- now the adrenaline had gone she was feeling the shivers that made their way down her spine.

She could have died tonight ... 

Just then a soft tap to the door was heard as it was slightly pushed open. Sidney was standing behind her, blankets held in his hands. He held then out to her. She took them from his hands, the soft material brushing her fingers. "Thank you. Look at you sure about -" 

Sidney cut her off. "It's fine. Don't worry, you're not imposing" 

She smiled at his tone and then closed the gap between them, planting a kiss to his lips softly.she felt him respond and then just as he responded he froze and pulled away. His feelings and emotions were all over the place and he didn't know what he wanted right now. "I'll let you get some sleep" 

She watched him leave and shut the door softly behind him before turning round. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney comes to the rescue of madeline and michaels relationship, meanwhile the archdeacon pops round for a visit and things don't go so well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with me and reading my story, your comments and kudos mean a lot. I may not be able to update before Christmas so I want to wish you all now a merry Christmas!

"She sent you didn't she?" 

Sidney didn't know how He would react if it answered so he just nodded. He didn't want an unwanted reaction.

Michael sighed and rubbed the back of his head before opening the door wider allowing Sidney through. He entered smiling apologetically and followed Michael into the front room. He turned round to face Sidney. "I don't really know what to say other then I left her" 

"I know..." 

"It's just" he brought his hand back up to his hair. "All the crying and the waiting ... it was driving me insane!" He cried. "Our daughters dead... she's not coming back and I couldn't watch that break Madeline .." 

"She's not dead Michael.." Sidney replied. 

"How would you know!?" He shouted. He paused briefly to compose himself then he added more softer, "it's been weeks - there's been no sign of her - no contact - Madeline's going crazy with grief. How would we tell Anya? it would destroy her" 

"The police will find her" Sidney said, -amazed with the amount of confidence he felt when he said that.

Michael laughed, almost cruel like but then it cracked at the end. "it they were going to find her they would have found her already" 

Sidney didn't know what to say to that. he stepped a little closer to him. "your wife needs you. your daughter needs you. Anya needs her father Michael...." 

his shoulders slumped forward. "I`ll lose her soon too." 

"what makes you say that?" 

"i never told Madeline" Michael said. 

"told her what?" Sidney questioned. 

"when it was my turn to visit anya the nurses told me that -" he looked away, remorse edged upon his face. "her conditions worsened. they give her 6 months" 

whatever he had mentally prepared himself for,it wasn't that. "6 months?"

he nodded. "they told me to tell my wife you see- but I couldn't find the words. she had already lost melanie -I didn't want to tell her that she was losing another daughter" 

"you don't know that you`ve lose melanie Michael ...." Sidney reasoned. "there's been that sighting. shes still alive" 

"that was a week ago. they could still have killed her off" he shook his head, turning round. "i couldn't stick around and watch my wife crumble after losing two of her children" 

"they`re your children too Michael" 

he turned round to him again, sadness and grief burning in his eyes. he shook his head softly. "they`re not mine." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

his eyes fluttered open as the soft beeping seemed to push through his senses. in truth, he would have rather stayed asleep, blocking out the achy feeling and the headache that seemed to be pounding in his skull. he closed his eyes again at the brightness of the room and turned his head slightly to the left while opening them lightly again. now he was fully awake he could distantly here a voice. it sounded familiar but he was too tired to concentrate on it and figure out who was speaking. before he could say anything to announce his presence he felt a warm hand touch his hand and then his cheek bringing him to turn his head to the right. 

"you`re awake. Sidney will kill you for waking up on my watch and not his" a female`s voice said warmly. she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

he blinked up at her. she was familiar but he couldn't think where. it hurt too much to think. he squeezed his eyes tightly together again to try and block out the pain and a hand rested against his forehead. "you`re not as feverish as you were which is a good thing" she commented with warmth in her voice. 

he reopened his eyes and blinked up at her trying to collect a memory that would help him know who she was. 

she laughed softly. "you don't recognise me do you? my name`s Cora - I helped out with Sidney when I found him. we came round to yours that time to see what Sidney had told you?" 

then everything seemed to flash through his mind all at once and he shot up slightly in bed to sit up but was overwhelmed by dizziness as well as nausea and his head spun. 

"don't get up you idiot. stay down" she pushed him back down. 

"what .... happened to m....me?" he asked lazily, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask that covered his nose and mouth. 

"you don't remember?" she asked. "you kinda had a run in with someone`s evil brother. he decided to poison you to get you out of the way."

Sam sort of nodded slowly taking it in,trying to collect his fuzzy thoughts from the last week or so. "how long have ...I been..in ...here?" 

"erm..... about a week or maybe a bit more" she replied. 

his eyes began to drift shut again but he forced them open again. "S.. Sidney?" he slurred. 

"he had to run an errand. someone's husband he had to talk some sense into." she replied. "if you'd woken up about an hour ago you would have caught him" 

Sam nodded slowly, showing he had heard and understood. just then the person just outside of the door put the phone down and then turned round back to the room. 

"oh you awake then?" Geordie said stepping back into the room. 

cora looked up as he approached. "who was that?" 

"phil. somethings come through with melanie`s case" 

"have they found her?" 

Geordie shook his head. "no - but there`s been another sighting of her" 

"that's good. that shows she`s still alive" cora replied. 

"Yeah. But for how long?" Geordie had a worried frown on his face and Cora turned her attention back to Sam. "Do you need me to fetch someone for you?" 

Sam slowly shook his head, being careful as movement still hurt his headache. 

"Listen - I have to go back to the station. Will you be alright?" 

Cora nodded. "Sidney said he'll be back in a couple of hours. I'm fine" 

Geordie turned his attention back to Sam. "Good to have you back with us" He said, stiffly. 

Sam blinked in response, too tired to do anything else. 

A couple of minutes later he was alone with Cora and he turned his head back to her. "How long ...will I ... be in ...here?" 

She shrugged. "Don't think you'll be released for quite a while Sam" 

He sighed heavily, steaming up the oxygen mark. 

"Go back to sleep" she said softly. "You look like death warmed over" 

Sam laughed slightly. "Thanks..." his eyes slid shut as he drifted back into the arms of sleep. 

Meanwhile, Geordie had arrived at the police station. "What have you found?" He asked striding into the main area. 

"A sighting. The woman over there said she saw a girl exactly like Melanie down by the avenue. She was with the same man from last time" 

"The one we didn't recognise?" 

Phil nodded. "Apparently he's not well known in the area" 

"None of these people involved in this are known to this area - besides Melanie and Sidney" Geordie responded. He rubbed at his forehead. "See if you can get some uniforms down there and search the area. We need to find the girl - and fast" 

"On it" Phil headed off while Geordie stared at the board they had. He couldnt help but feel like they weren't making progress. For one thing anka and her minions had escaped. How they did it they were still questioning themselves. He just hoped that when uniforms checked out the sighting of Melanie they found something - anything - that would give them a clue as to where she was.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~

"They're not yours?"

Michael nodded. "They felt like mine though. I didn't love them less because they weren't" he sighed heavily and sat down. He placed his elbows on his knees , brushing his hands through his hair. "Madeline was originally with this guy. She had had Melanie already and was pregnant with Anya at the time." He indicated for Sidney to take a seat as he sat up straight. Sidney sat down next to him. Michael continued. "Melanie was 5 at the time. Madeline's boyfriend at the time - the father of them both was a bully. He beat Madeline something crazy. I was madeline's best friend at the one but there was always a spark between us but she had a boyfriend so we couldn't persue a relationship" he sighed at the memory and rubbed his eyes. "I watched as he hit Madeline everyday. She wouldn't let me do anything you see?" He laughed nervously. "I kept telling her to get out but she wouldn't. She kept telling me that the kids needed a father. " he choked up and Sidney gave him a moment. Finally he brushed his fingers through his hair, taking in several deep breaths before continuing. "Then one day - he turned on Melanie and Madeline knew then that she had to get out. She packed a bag with stuff for herself and Melanie and got the hell out of there. She met up with me and we ran" 

"Is he still alive?" 

Michael shook his head. "he was hit by a car a couple of a years back - bastard got what he deserved" he clenched his fist. "Melanie knows I'm not her real father but Anya doesn't." 

Sidney thought for a moment before saying, "go back to her Michael ... she needs you - so does Melanie and Anya. They need a father ... someone who will take care of them" 

"I can't stick around and watch Madeline fall apart. I can't" he stood up. "Anya will die soon- I can't stick around to watch that" 

"She needs a father ...."

Michael looked at Sidney. "She had Madeline. There's not enough time left. The hospital gave her six months!" 

Sidney stood up also. "Yeah? And in those six months you can be the father they need - spend as much time as you can- create memories together" 

His mind wavered, Sidney could see it in his eyes. "Go back to your wife Michael ... she needs you - so does Anya" he stepped forward. "And when the police find Melanie she will need you too" 

Michael chewed his lip and then nodded before groaning. "I've been a fool." 

"No you haven't" Sidney replied. "You were acting upon impulses. It's okay to be scared" 

Michael nodded. "Will she take me back?" 

Sidney nodded. "She needs you Michael" 

He nodded, new found hope and determination in his eyes. "Thank you for talking sense into me" he picked up a suitcase that was by the sofa. "I never really unpacked" he answered in explanation. He picked up a coat also. "I'm going to leave right now" 

Sidney nodded as they headed out of the door. They walked half way back in silence, neither not knowing how to break the silence. Michael cleared his throat. "How's your friend doing? I heard he was poisoned" 

"He's doing fine considering..." Sidney replied. 

"That's good" 

The silence lapsed over them again and Sidney was glad when they reached Michael's house. He knocked on the door and waited for a response. Finally the door opened, revealing a very teary eyed and tired Madeline. She sniffed. "Hello again Sidney. Is everything okay?" 

Sidney stepped to the side slightly revealing her husband to her. "Michael!" She exclaimed running into his arms. She wrapped her arms round his neck tightly. "I thought you had left me forever." She whispered fiecely. 

Michael shook his head. "Sidney talked some sense into me." He squeezed her tightly. "I've missed you" 

"I've missed you too" she rested her chin on his shoulder, hugging tightly. She spotted Sidney standing further from them and smiled to him. "Thank you" she mouthed, before letting her husband go and pressing her lips to his mouth. 

Sidney knew his work here was done so he turned round leaving them to it and headed back to the vicarage. 

"You'be got a visitor. " was the greeting he got as he walked through the door. The woman never gave him a second to even sort himself out. 

"Who...?" But he didn't need a reply as he turned to look into the front room. His expression became serious and he nodded. Once the archdeacon saw him he came towards him. Mrs M knew this was her time to leave so she quietly slipped away to the kitchen. Sidney headed to his study- knowing the archdeacon would follow him away. He heard the door click shut. "What do you want?" He asked, already knowing why he was here. 

"You know why I'm here Sidney..." the archdeacon replied. 

Sidney looked down at the floor instead, noticing the small cracks in the floorboard.

"Anything you'd care to tell me or shall I tell you instead?" 

Sidney didn't respond. 

After a few seconds past and no one said anything the archdeacon began , slowly walking towards him. "You see, I found it funny when I called the archdeacon in Scotland to make sure he would definitely take you and for him to tell me that he hasn't heard of you." He raised his eyebrows at Sidney as if waiting for a response. He continued when he got none. "He never had no such transfer papers from you. Now you can realise how shocked I was when I heard that hmm?" 

"Look- I can fix this I know I-" 

He cut across Sidney. "I don't want your excuses. I just want you sign those transfer papers" 

Sidney shook his head, stepping forward. "I can fix this" 

"It's too late for that Sidney..." 

"If you just give me time - I can stop these people. "Sidney replied. "I know who they are - I know what they want - I can stop it" 

"People are getting hurt because of you. You're leaving Sidney in 3 weeks end off" he replied stiffly. "Get your stuff ready and send of those transfer papers. If you don't then I will" 

Sidney moved forward again, clearly getting agitated. "I'm not going anywhere. I can fix this. Please if you'll just let me-" 

"I want you gone Sidney!" The archdeacon shouted. "Those forms are to be signed and sent to them and you are to be gone in three weeks!" 

Sidney knew he was at a losing streak but that didn't stop him. "I'm not going anywhere" 

"You do as I say Sidney" the archdeacon said darkly. "Fill in those transfer papers. You'll be relieved of your parish duties in three weeks" he turned and opened the door clearly done with the conversation, however Sidney wasn't. He followed him. "No one else is going to get hurt! I'll make sure of that. I need to be here to make that happen" 

The archdeacon turned to him. "How? You were here when Matthew was taken weren't you?" 

"Well yes but-" 

The archdeacon cut him off. "You were right here when Sam was poisoned weren't you?" 

"Well yes but-" 

Again he was cut off. "Exactly. You were here. There are no buts. You were here and that didn't help matters did it? The boy was still taken to use as bait for you and Sam was poisoned right here. You let a killer walk right into the vicarage and have a clear pathway to Sam. You let that happen - it's your fault that he's in hospital. After everything that's happened you didn't even bother to check. You let him straight in and allow him to poison Sam-" 

Sidney could feel his heart pounding in his ears as he listened to the archdeacon saying all of this. He was saying exactly what his own subconscious was saying and it brought so much guilt and anger to hear it being said aloud. Before he could realise what he was doing he had grabbed hold of the archdeacon's jacket. "That was not my fault!" He shook him before he felt a person touch his arm and pull him off slightly. "Let go Sidney" Leonard's quiet voice sounded. 

Sidney's fingers slid from the collar of the archdeacon's jacket as Leonard pulled him back slightly. He shrugged him off and looked towards the archdeacon breathing heavily as he straightened out his jacket, brushing if back into place. "Those transfer papers - I want them done tonight" the archdeacon emphasised on the word tonight before turning round and opening the door disappearing through. Once the door shut with a click Mrs M rounded on Sidney. "What were you thinking!? You stupid boy!" 

Sidney shrugged his shoulders, hands shaking from the anger. "He had it coming!" 

"I know what he said about what happened to Sam was your fault upset you but you can't act like that. He'll have a reason to throw you out" 

"He'll do it anyway!"Sidney snapped. He turned away from them and walked back to his study- slamming the door shut. He brushed his shaking hands through his hair, taking in deep breaths to vanish the anger that he felt growing inside of him. He brushed his shaking hand one more time through his hair before opening his desk draw and pulling out a bottle of whisky and a glass. It was past 2 in the morning before he fell asleep from exhaustion as well as the amount of alcohol he had consumed, the transfer papers left empty.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"So how's life outside of these four plain, white walls?" 

Sidney laughed. A couple of days had past since the archdeacon had been round and after Sidney had woken from his desk after drinking his sorrows away, (with a massive headache) he had filled in the transfer papers. The problem was telling everyone he knew that he was leaving in 3 weeks. "Nothing interesting." 

"I bet it's more interesting then staring at 4 walls" Sam replied sarcastically but with a hint of teasing. 

"You'all be out soon" 

"Yeah in like 2 weeks so long as I keep improving." Sam shifted slightly so he was more comfortable. "So what happened in Chichester? Anything you'd care to share?" He teased. 

Sidney blushed, remembering that Cora had spent a day with Sam, while he had been getting Michael to come back. He dreaded to think what she had told him. "I don't know what you're talking about" 

"Yeah you do. The brother, Mackenzie, he was killed. I heard someone talking about it but I was too tired to actually pay attention." Sam sat up slightly. "dont worry. I'll keep your secret about what you both did to myself. I won't tell anyone" 

Sidney's head snapped up, and the crimson red grew more in his cheeks. Sam laughed. "I'm joking. I know nothing - although judging by the fact that you've gone the exact same shade of red as that poster there i take it something did happen between you both" 

"Shut up" 

Sam laughed more before coughing and then turning to face him. "But on the serious note what exactly has happened since I've been in here?" 

Sidney sighed, brushing his hands through his hair. Where to start? He began with trying to make connections with everything that's happened and then the diary, how the pages from December have been ripped out, the note saying I'm sorry, then the trip he took with Cora to Chichester , Ryan, then Mackenzie trying to shoot them but the gun backfired, the second poison being administered and ending with the mysterious guy that turned up for the waster fate was in fact Mackenzie. 

"So josh was in fact Mackenzie?" Sam asked. 

Sidney nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have realised-" 

Sam cut him off. "It's not your fault. These things happen. Don't blame yourself" 

"You don't get it? I should have given you a warning. Then maybe you wouldn't be in here" 

"What warning?" 

"Cora told me that you're in this much deeper then any of us think" Sidney replied. "That's what landed you here- you were too involved" 

Sam thought for a moment, the beeping of the machines taking over the silence before he replied, "I knew what I was getting myself into Sidney... that wouldn't have changed anything" 

"I know but still..." 

"What's happened ,happened Sidney. There's nothing we can do about it. So stop blaming yourself" Sam replied. 

Sidney nodded and decided to change the subject suddenly remembering his flashback he had had in the hospital when Sam had started to fail. "I had another flashback..." 

"Really? Did you see anything that could help us know where you were in December?" 

"Not exactly..." sidney shifted slightly. "Listen I saw someone- a man. He was about our age but he knew us- both of us. I was bleeding badly from a head wound and I watched as this man approached me. He grabbed the dairy, ripped out the pages and then slipped a note inside of it saying that he's sorry and that you will help me. He mentioned that we were close friends in school - so he must be from school but I don't recognise him." Sidney thought some more on the memory of his flashback , trying to pull every single detail. " Then he stabbed a needle into my neck saying I didn't have to remember what he had done. The funny thing was he kept apologising.... and then this woman appeared with ginger hair and freckles and then Cora woke me up." 

Sam was frowning as if trying to remember. "He knew me too?" 

Sidney nodded. 

"Describe him. If he's from school then I might be able to remember him" 

"Well he had brown hair, piercing blue eyes - like deep light blue eyes , dimples .." Sidney rubbed at his forehead, trying to remember. " he was wearing a jumper and trousers - not sure if that will help.... what?" Sidney noticed the look Sam was giving him. "What?" 

"You're describing Callum, Sidney ... he was our best friend from college." Sam sat up further, being careful as to not pull out the IV line going into his right hand." Don't you remember? The pranks Callum used to make up and we used to go along with it. The best laughs we ever had at school." Sam saw Sidney looking at him strangely. "Come on Sidney - we've all been friends for like ages - the last 8 years. He met up with you about 6 months ago as a catch up." Sam suddenly became worried. "Sidney? Are you okay?" 

"I can't remember him Sam. I can't remember"


	28. chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

"Is there anything?" 

Phil shook his head before heading down an alleyway. 

disappointment flooded through Geordie as he turned slowly. one of the officers were standing on the opposite side interviewing the witness that had called about the sighting. The man she had described was a middle aged man with brown hair, streaks of grey visible. he had been wearing a suit although the trousers had been visibly muddy as if he had walked through a muddy field. Geordie approached them just as the officer asked her what they had been doing. 

she thought for a moment, frowning as she tried to collect her thoughts. "it was just getting dark so around dusk. erm... the man was guiding her to a taxi. I think he had a gun held her to waist to make sure she didn't anything. they were kinda to close together - to close. I opened the window when I realised it was her to try and see clearly - unfortunately it didn't work. 

"did you hear anything?" Geordie asked. 

she crossed her arms as she thought. "I couldn't hear at first but as they got closer to the taxi I could hear him telling her to behave and that its not long now until she`ll be placed into the open and used as bait." 

Geordie shared looks with the officer before pressing further. "was that it?" 

she nodded. "i didn't hear anymore as far as I remember." 

Geordie sighed. "well if you remember - let us know okay?" 

she nodded as he turned away to head to where Phil was heading back out of the alleyway - evidence bag in hand. before he reached there he heard feet running behind him and then someone grabbed his arm. Geordie spun around and came face to face with the woman. "wait - there was something else. The man mentioned a name" 

"who`s name?" 

"your boy.. Sidney" she replied."i thought you should know" with that she smiled, squeezed his arm before letting go and walking back to the officer from before.

Geordie watched her leave before turning round to Phil. "well?"

"it`s a girls jumper "Phil held up the evidence bag. it was a pale blue jumper with Melanie embroidered in white on the front. the most heart wrenching thing from seeing the jumper was that it had a red smear going across the name- blood. 

"where did you find it?" Geordie asked.

"down in that alleyway" Phil began leading Geordie towards the alleyway, leading him down it until he stopped near the end. "it was laying right here" 

"any other signs...?" Geordie asked as he spun slowly in a full circle, taking in the areas closest to the spot. he crouched down as he inspected a few more tell-tale signs of blood spatters. "is this the girls?" 

I don't know. it seems like the most possibility though" Phil replied as he headed back out of the alleyway, giving the evidence bag to nearby uniforms. Geordie stood up slowly. there was nothing else left in the alleyway that was out of the ordinary so he headed out. he needed to speak to Madeline- to see if that jumpers is definitely her daughters, although he was 99% sure it was Melanie's.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"what do you mean you can`t remember?"

"just that Sam, I can`t remember." Sidney replied. "you sure he was our friend?" 

Sam nodded. "course I'm sure. we spent like 2 years with him in college."

Sidney shook his head. "i don't remember" he looked up at his friend, the panic evident on his face. "how can I forget a friend!?" 

Sam thought for a moment. "didn't you say something about a needle....? and that you don't need to remember what he`s done...?" Sidney nodded and Sam continued. "Cullum made you forget- he made you forget what he did" 

"why would he do that? it doesn't make sense" Sidney replied. "why make me forget....?" 

Sam shrugged. 

Sidney suddenly remembered something and reached into his pocket, pulling out a slip of paper. "is this Cullum's handwriting?" 

Sam took it from him and studied it. "yep. that`s Callum`s. where did you get it?" 

"it fell out of the diary." Sidney replied as he took the sip of paper back. "do you think that's what he saying sorry for?" 

"maybe.. but what could he have done to have to wipe your memory of him?" 

"maybe he's involved in everything`s that happened.... maybe he`s the answer to what happened to me in December?" 

Sam shook his head. "No- he wouldn't. he`s our friend Sidney - why would he betray us - you!- to them? it just doesn`t make sense Sidney. he`s our friend" 

"what kind of friend wipes your memory of them!?" Sidney shouted, louder then he intended. "sorry" he apologised when he saw Sam wince slightly. "headache still?" 

Sam nodded. "and you just made it ten times worse" 

"sorry" 

"visiting hours are over" a nurse called in as she bustled past. 

Sidney knew that was his cue to go. he stood up. "I`ll see you tomorrow" 

Sam nodded. 

Sidney began walking out of the room, but stopped as he realised he had to tell Sam that he was leaving in three weeks. he turned round again and opened his mouth to say something. 

"you`re still here?" the nurse said, reappearing. 

"I`m leaving - just one second." 

she sighed and headed back out of the room. 

"if you`re gonna shout some more then do it further away so you don't aggravate my headache" Sam said as he yawned. you would think that by just laying here day in, day out would mean he wouldn't be so tired constantly. 

"I`m not going to shout I just wanted to say.." Sidney found that he couldn't speak. he didn't know how to say that he was being moved up to Scotland in three weeks. he opened his mouth and tried again. "the archdeacon came round.." 

"i sense he said something ... what did he say? our paintwork was crap?" 

"huh?" Sidney replied then shook his head. "No! funnily enough he didn't say anything about that. listen - I'm being transferred" he said quietly. 

the exhaustion left Sam immediately as he sat up straighter. "what do you mean you`re being transferred?" 

"in three weeks up in Scotland." Sidney added, avoiding Sam`s question. 

"why?"

Sidney shrugged as he looked at the floor before turning round. I better go..." 

"no no no. you can`t leave me with that and then leave." Sam responded. "why is he moving you up Scotland?" 

Sidney sighed heavily and turned around facing him. "because of you" 

"because of me? what did I do?" 

"because you`re in here" Sidney replied. 

"what`s me being in hospital got to do with you being transferred to Scotland?" Sam replied, obviously still not getting it. 

"because who poisoned you is after me and considering you almost died because of this the archdeacon believes I'm a danger and he`s washing his hands off of me" Sidney snapped, immediately regretting it. "i filled in the transfer papers- I'm leaving in three weeks" 

Sam shook his head. "it`s not your fault - you need to tell him that" 

"i have!" Sidney replied, throwing his hands up in the air. "but he wont listen - you know what he's like" 

"you`re not moving Sidney... you can`t" 

"well I have too" Sidney replied heavily.

the nurse appeared again. "you! out! I told you already. visiting hours are over" 

"I`m going" Sidney replied as he headed back. 

"this doesn't mean our conversation is over Sidney!" Sam called after him. 

"whatever!" Sidney called back as he headed out of the hospital. if it was that hard to tell Sam that he was leaving how hard was it going to be to tell Amanda, Mrs M and Geordie? he shook his head as he grabbed his bike. he was leaving in three weeks- that gives him two weeks to tell them all. it still didn't feel long enough...

as he cycled he thought of the different ways he could tell them that he was being transferred but all of them just didn't seem right. by the time he arrived back at the vicarage he still hadn't thought of a way to tell Mrs M and Leonard. he buried himself in his study, shutting the door. he didn't know how to tell them and it was driving himself insane that he felt nervous. instead- he busied himself in the task of preparing for Sunday- one of his final Sunday's in Grantchester...  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"oh hello again. come in" 

Geordie stepped into the house as Madeline led him to the front room. "i cant stay long. I just need you to identify something" 

Madeline turned round to face him, her eyes wide. "she`s not..." 

"No.it`s not that" Geordie said, calming her. "is this hers?" he held up the jumper. 

Madeline stepped closer- her eyes becoming moist. "yes- that's err... that's Melanie's. oh gosh" she brought her hand to her mouth. "is that blood!?" 

"I`m afraid it is" Geordie replied. "but it might not be hers. " 

"how could it not!? its on her jumper!" Madeline cried. 

"it could be animal`s blood." Geordie explained. "some kidnappers do that to throw you off the scent" 

Madeline rubbed her face with her hands. "I just want my daughter back" 

"I know you do Madeline. we will find her- that's a promise" Geordie said firmly. 

"it`s been weeks- what if they`ve killed her? my poor baby girl. I've lost both of my children" she began to sob as she sunk down to sit on the sofa. 

"what do you mean lost both of your children?" Geordie asked. 

"Michael told me earlier that the nurses at Anya`s hospital have given her 6 months to live" Madeline replied. 

"I'm sorry" 

"and Melanie's no where to be seen- its just like that inspector" she looked up at him. "I`m losing both of my children and there`s nothing I can do about it"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"I'm sorry" Callum said, sounding choked up before he vanished from Sidney`s vision. Sidney attempted to call out but his head was pounding more then ever as the blood slowly poured down the side of head as the world escaped to blackness, not before he saw a woman with red hair start to walk towards him, a big grin on her pretty face... 

Sidney jerked himself awake and peered round, half expecting to see a red haired woman grinning at him. once he made sure no red haired woman was going to jump out at him he stood up, rubbing his forehead. his study was now in darkness, the moonlight streaming through the window- he looked up at the clock. 2:15am. he opened the door to his study and headed up the stairs to his bedroom, closing the door. he wished he could figure out who the red haired woman was he kept seeing in his dreams- in flashbacks- it was driving him insane. even Sam didn't know who she was, so she wasn`t someone from college. he changed quickly and slipped under the covers, hoping for sleep to come but now he was in his bedroom instead of his study it was like he was fully awake again. the last part of his flashback kept sliding through his mind. why was Callum sorry? what had he done? more importantly if he was who Sam says he is then why would he wipe himself from his mind it just doesn't make sense. he turned so he was laying on his side and glanced at the windows that were now covered by the curtains, moonlight streaming through, creating shadows. even after everything they had overcome in the last few months, he still felt like there were still so many questions that were left unanswered - and it was killing him slowly.


	29. chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its so short! next one will be longer! thank you to all of you who have read and commented and liked! means a lot! not long now until the story comes to a close :)

she watched the man from afar, the one that held her hostage for the past month. her entire thin frame was shaking - either from the cold or fear she no longer knew. She wanted her mum, more then even now. They had beaten her, held her at gunpoint, done bad things and now all she wanted was to go home. she could feel her eyes well up again at the thought of home and her mum and she began to sob violently. she curled herself into a ball against the dirty wall in the smallish room that had held her prisoner for over a month. there was a crack in the door and through it she could see the men all talking- obviously something wasn`t going according to plan- whatever they were. she rubbed the palm of her dirty hands against her eyes to wipe the tears from her eyes and crept towards the door, peeking through the crack. when she spotted them she pressed her ear to the door and the quiet mumble that could be heard was clear enough for her to hear. she sniffed wetly and brought her sleeve against her nose. 

"- what do you mean he`s dead!?" a deep voice - which belonged to her kidnapper- cried. 

"Mackenzie had cornered the boy and this girl. They tricked him and escaped, so Mackenzie chased after them and got the drop on them..... the gun backfired. he died instantly" a womans voice sounded. melanie sniffed again and wiped at her eyes before peering through the crack - noticing the flaming red hair dance across as the girl moved backwards and forwards - almost like she was pacing. 

"do we know this girl that's joined with the boy?" the deep voice asked again. 

"oh I know who she is alright. let`s just say shes a friend" 

"she doesn't expect you of anything?" 

the red haired shook her head. "she`s unaware. she thinks I'm visiting my parents" 

"excellent." the sound of a creaking chair filled the air and then footsteps. melanie peered through the crack again. a blur of a blacks suit filled her vision and then the red haired moved again. "what`s on your mind?" the girl said. 

"the boy still doesn't know who I am. as Emily, harry and dorsen have told me - the boy doesn't remember what happened. callum must have given him too much of the solution causing him to forget everything."

"so?" 

"that means that he`s also forgotten what we want with melanie" the deep voice replied in response. "we`ve been beating round the bush with this too long. it`s time to take things further." footsteps sounded again and something clattered to the floor. someone swore. "has the other one been dealt with?" 

"you mean Sam? yep. he`s been dealt with. Mackenzie slipped him the poison as you wanted." 

"is he still alive?" 

"after the dosage Mackenzie gave him? No."

"good. then we have easy access to the boy." 

"you seem to have a plan" the woman`s voice said. 

the man laughed, sending a chill through melanie`s spine. "the boy seemed to have forgotten how important the brat in there is important to all this. she is the key- and so is the boy. but without his memory there`s no way he`ll remember. so we take what he does remember" 

"his friend is a cop. there`s no way we can get to him" 

"i wasn't thinking about the detective friend. I meant cora. I`m sure you`ll have no problem with that" 

"what are you going to do to her?" 

the man laughed. "you don't actually care for the girl do you?" he taunted."you admitted yourself your pretend to be her friend. we`ll get her and bring her here- leaving a message for dear Sidney. he`ll sure come to her rescue." the smile could be heard in his voice. 

"yu wont hurt her will you?" 

something thudded against the floor, almost sounding like a body and melanie squinted through the crack to see clearly at what was happening. the red hair was sprawled over the floor. 

"don't tell me what to do! you knew what would happen to her. she`s with the boy. which means you eliminate her as best as possible. do I make myself clear"the deep, menacing voice said with a touch of vemon to his words. "before if I-" he suddenly cut off and melanie pulled her ear from the door before peaking through the crack again. she couldn't see anything and then the door to her prison was thrown open. she squealed and backed away into the corner. fear controlling her body. "please no.... I'm sorry" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know its probably a long shot that you remember anything that happened to you but if you could try and tell us everything that happened that would be helpful" 

Sam was sitting up in bed, probed up by a few pillows in which Sidney, with the help from a nurse, had heped him up and put them there, supporting him. Sidney was leaning against the wall. "it`s all fuzzy. I'm sorry" "that`s alright. just tell exactly what happened from your point of view"

"well- that Joshua, or should I say Mackenzie, came round straight after you left - wanting to help out. shortly before he left I got a headache but I just pushed it aside as a migraine forming. I went upstairs" Sam concentrated on remembering. "about half an hour later I started to feel sick and came downstairs for some medicine when I started to get dizzy. Mrs Maguire asked if i was okay and i know i went to answer but then everything went fuzzy and then dark." sam paused for a second, concentrating. "the rest is all fuzzy. i remember a little of the trip in the ambulance but that's it really until when i woke up properly and Cora was there" 

"that`s all you remember?" 

sam nodded, fiddling with the tube that went into his hand. sidney swatted his hand away.

"well if that's all.." Geordie got up to go. to Sidney he said, "i`ll see you later" 

Sidney nodded as he headed out. once they were alone. he avoided looked at Sam, before mumbling something about needing to be somewhere when Sam grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. "uh huh - we haven't finished our conversation from yesterday" 

Sidney sat back down irritably. "there's nothing more to discuss Sam"

"maybe. maybe not. but I do one thing - you need to find out who that red haired is and solve this - then maybe the archdeacon wont move you" 

Sidney straightened up slightly. "you think if I can solve this - all of it - get rid of anka and her team for good then maybe ... maybe I wont have to move?" 

sam nodded. "find out who this red haired is- that might help." 

"i don't remember her sam ...." 

he thought for a moment. "well ... all i can remember is her name began with an F. i heard someone call her name when i was hiding but i cant quite remember" 

"its fine." Sidney looked at his watch. "listen - visiting hours are nearly over but ill see you tomorrow" he stood up, opening his mouth to say something then closed it again. "bye" he headed out of the room - door closing behind him. he let out a deep breath, his thoughts racing ahead as he started to walk back up the corridor to the exit. maybe - just maybe- if the danger was completely wiped out then he could keep his job round here and wouldn't be moved to Scotland. 

as soon as he arrived back at the vicarage he was met by the phone ringing. "the vicarage" he answered slightly distracted by dickens who came lumbering up to him. 

"Sidney! just checking in on you. I like to know that you are okay" 

Cora. somehow, that made him smile. "I'm fine Cora. what about you? is everything okay?" 

she sighed. "I guess its alright. a little lonely. felicity`s mother grew more sick so she had to stay out there longer so I`m alone but Its okay. I have my books for company" she laughed. "how`s Sam? is he okay?" 

"he`s doing fine. recovering well although he wont be discharged until next week at the latest ... Cora? is everything okay?" he asked, as he heard her gasp. 

"its nothing - I thought -I thought I heard something. its nothing. " she dismissed. she glanced round the still house before turning back. "so anyway - what was I saying....... oh! I was wondering if in a few weeks you would like to come up to Bristol for a few days...?" 

Sidney paused as he went to answer. he would like to go but he was reluctant. what if something happened while he was away? he then suddenly heard a disturbance on the other end of the phone. "cora? whats going on?" 

"i heard it again. it might just be the wind ... right?" 

"are you sure no one`s there with you? maybe felicity came back early?" Sidney asked. 

cora shook her head. "no. she would have said something. I'm alone I -" she cut off again and then the phone cluttered to the ground. 

"cora? cora?" he cried but got no response. he went to put the phone down when he could hear shuffling he listened closely. 

"what are you doing here... I thought you were at your mothers? you gave me a scare...!" 

muffled voices and then cora exclaimed, "hey! what are you doing!? let me go! let me go!" 

"cora" he said again but knew she couldn't hear him. he listened as he could hear cora screaming and then someones heavy breath coming through the phone before the line went dead.


	30. chapter 30

"are you absolutely sure Sidney?" 

I know what I heard Geordie ... someone took her while she was on the phone to me!" Sidney rubbed his forehead.

"tell us again what you heard?" 

Sidney sighed. "I already told u! we were talking and she had just asked me something and then she paused- saying she could hear something but she brushed it off. then she began talking again. no more then a minute later she heard something else and that's when the phone clattered to the ground. she said something about what are you doing here you`re meant to be at your mothers when she started to scream let me go and then someone hung up the phone" 

"she was in Bristol when this happened right?" 

Sidney nodded. 

"you do realise I can`t do anything Sidney - I'm not a police officer over there."

Sidney's head snapped up. "so you`re just going to abandoned her!? she needs our help Geordie!" 

I know Sidney - I know "Geordie replied. "but we are meant to do?" 

"figure out what happened. "Sidney replied. "who took her. we need to save her Geordie..." he pushed away from his desk. "we need to do something - its Anka and her crew. I know it is Geordie- first Matthew, then Sam and now Cora. who next!?"

"no one will be next Sidney. I promise. we don't even know its them" he replied half heartedly, deep down he was thinking the same. just like Sam, Cora was getting involved, helping Sidney. these people just wont stop and it was making him angry. "I want to help too. but we need to do this properly Sidney okay?" Sidney turned away, looking at the floor. "after that - if they cant find her then we`ll go up there - get your girl back. but not until we`ve heard from Bristol`s police department" Sidney still didn't say anything. "understood?" 

Sidney gave a nod. "the archdeacon was right ... its my fault this is happening. you`re all better off without me" 

"when did he tell you that?" 

Sidney looked away, realising this was the time that he had to tell him he was being transferred. he leaned back against his desk again. he had planned this conversation a thousand times in his head and none of them seemed right. now the moment was here and he nothing planned. 

"what`s wrong?" 

he sighed, rubbed his hands through his dark hair and then stood up again. I need to tell you something" 

"okay?" 

"the archdeacon came round about three weeks ago." Sidney laughed nervously. this was hard. "he was angry with me - for the boy being kidnapped, Sam being poisoned and it all linked to me. " he looked up at his friend who was staring at him intently. " in a weeks time - I wont be here" 

"what .. what do you mean you won`t be here?" Geordie asked. I don't understand" 

"next week - I wont be here - i`ll be in Scotland" Sidney replied flatly. "now with what`s happened with Cora - gives him all the more reason to transfer me" 

"transfer you? to Scotland? why?" 

"because of what happened with Matthew..... Sam... he thinks I'm a danger. he told me I had a month and that months almost up. the transfer papers have been sorted" 

"exactly when were you going to tell me?" 

Sidney looked at the floor again. "I tried - I just couldn't find the words." he took a deep breath. "but Sam thinks I can get round this - if I solve this before next week and everything's over then maybe he`ll let me stay" 

Geordie didn't know what to say. he just hadn't expected that he might be losing his friend in a weeks time. "lets solve this then. i`ll call the police department in Bristol. we need to rescue Cora. but until I've heard back do not do anything stupid Sidney .... please? "

he didn't want to wait around. waiting round could be wasting time they may not have but he knew he could trust Geordie and after disappearing once he couldn't do that again to them all. he nodded. I wont do anything stupid. but please be quick- we don't how long she has" 

he nodded. "I`m going to go to the station - make that call now. this has to stop" 

Sidney followed him out to the door. "tell me as soon as you hear something - she shouldn't have been wrapped up in all of this ... its my fault. she saved me all those months ago - now its time to return the favour" 

Geordie turned to face him. "this is not your fault. we`ll get the bastards locked up for good. don`t worry" 

as Sidney shut the door he couldn't help but let a sinking feeling fill him. he had heard what they were capable off- seen what they were capable off. why were they doing to Cora? is she alive? or hurt? he squeezed his eyes shut as tortured images filled his head. he had to stay positive. he had too.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
her senses started to come back to her, well almost, she had blind fold over her eyes pulled tight at the back of her head. her neck stung slightly where the needle had entered. she tried to move her arms but they were held tight by bonds that were pulled tights against her arms, holding her bound to the chair. then she heard movement behind her and she stilled, breathing heavily. "what do you want with me?" 

"you know what we want princess" the footsteps continued nearer and nearer until they stopped right behind her. she could feel hot breath on her neck and she recoiled slightly. "i asked you what you want with me? why am I here?" 

her blindfold was suddenly ripped off and she blinked in the sudden light, immediately taking in her surroundings. she was in a dark room, her only piece of furniture in the room was the chair she was sitting on. her gaze fixed upon her capture but his face was hidden in the shadows. 

the man laughed evilly before stepping out of the shadows, revealing his face. she gasped softly as she recognised him. "its you" 

harry laughed. "wasn't it a surprise when we found you unprotected huh? that flatmate of yours came in handy." he approached her again and she backed away in the chair, turning her face away."i have nothing to say to you" 

"you don't know what I want yet" he replied. he leaned in closer. "how much does Sidney know about us and his three months?" 

she didn't answer him, instead she turned her attention to the floor. 

"I`ll ask again - how much does sidney know?" 

she didn't reply, not expecting his hand to shoot up and grab her hair pulling it. she gasped out in pain. "tell me!" 

" let go!" she cried. 

"not until you tell me!" 

"I`m not going to tell you nothing!" she cried. "i saw what you all did to him - and to his friend. you`re all evil" 

harry suddenly let go of her hair, grinning. "we`ll break you - just like we broke dear melanie" 

Cora sat up straighter. "you have the girl?" 

he nodded. "too bad for her. she was in the wrong place at the wrong time..." he opened a door and beckoned for someone to come in. dorsen entered dragging melanie in with her. Cora gasped. "what did you do to her!? she's a child!"

harry grinned. "its what the boss wanted" 

"oh really" she scoffed. 

harry suddenly turned serious, his face pulled into a thoughtful frown. he began slowly walking around her. "we could let her go you know - without a bullet to her brain if you tell us how much Sidney knows..?"

Melanie took a sharp intake of breath at the mention of a bullet and started to pull against Dorsen , screaming against the cloth in her mouth. 

Cora shut her eyes - she prayed she`d wake up and find this was all just a bad dream but she opened her eyes ... and she was still in the same room. she could see the fear on Melanie's face. 

"do you want me to help you make your decision? " harry offered. before Cora could say anything he whipped out a gun from his waistband and clicked the safety off - the gun pointing right at Melanie...

"No!" Cora found herself screaming. she sighed in defeat. "okay! i`ll tell you what you want to know - just please - don't harm the girl anymore" 

"Excellent" harry grinned. "Dorsen! put the girl back in the room." he shifted closer to Cora, tracing her jaw line. "tell the boss - we have a rat"

Cora looked at him, her eyes pooling hatred. " its a shame you keep mentioning this boss yet I never see him" she cocked her head. "or is he just a fragment of your imagination?" 

she was rewarded with a slap, hard against her cheek, the sound echoing round the room. tears stung her eyes and she had to bite her lip from letting them spill down her cheeks, unfortunately a few decided to slip. harry breathed heavily, leaning down so close she could smell his sour breath and she looked away and squeezed her eyes shut. "now look at me you little bitch! " he grabbed her cheeks and squeezed with one hand. "i don't take no cheek from a girl like you. there is a boss- the only reason you aint seen him is because he doesn't want to waste his time on a brat like you" 

she wrenched her cheek free and looked him in the eyes. "no I suppose he doesn't - instead he gets you to do his dirty work" her head rocketed to the side as he slapped her hard again and this time the tears started to fall heavily from her green eyes. 

"remember - what you do from this point on has an effect for everyone around you" harry whispered before pushing himself away and heading towards the door. he stopped and turned around. "remember - more then Sidney's life is at stake here" he clapped his hands together. "I`ll go tell the boss that you`re ready to co-operate with us. we`ll be back in about an hour and well have our own little circle time where you can tell us exactly what Sidney knows" with that he left the room, the door slamming shut behind him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"okay...? what is it? what`s wrong? I know something is wrong I can tell." 

Sidney knew what he had to say but saying it again made it seem all to real. instead, he stared at his hands in his lap. he badly wanted to be doing something - anything that would help find Cora but he had promised Geordie that he was going to leave it with them and do it the proper way. something at that moment he didn't agree with. 

"Sidney!" Sam snapped causing Sidney to jump and looked up. "will you just bloody tell me!" 

"it`s Cora Sam." Sidney finally said. "she`s been kidnapped" he then stood up. "she was kidnapped while on the phone with me" 

"oh no" Sam groaned. he brought his hands to his face and then sighed, brushing them through his hair. "we need to get her back - they could be doing anything to her right now" 

"you think I don't know that!" Sidney shouted. "if I could have been doing something do you think I`d be standing here at this moment!?"he rubbed at his face again, hands shaking. I need to do something - I cant just stay here!" 

"Sidney - you can`t do anything stupid. " Sam reasoned. "give Geordie and that sometime to work on it and if nothing comes through then - go up there and rescue her." 

"who knows what they`re doing to her Sam... this is all my fault!" he turned to face the window. "i shouldn't have let her help me" 

"she would have helped you anyways Sidney - despite what you may have told her" Sam reasoned. 

Sidney didn't reply knowing deep down what Sam had just said was true. Cora would have helped despite what he would have said. he turned back round, his expression set in determination. "I`m going to the station - if they have anything then fine - if not, I'm going down there." Sidney said in a tone that Sam knew he couldn't talk Sidney out of it - his mind was set. "this has to end now - they`re after me and only me. I`m not going to let them hurt anyone else anymore" 

Sam only nodded. "go" 

Sidney didn't need telling twice - his mind was racing with his new found plan. this had to stop. he was going to face them once and for all - they had messed with him, his memory, his life, his job, his friends and that wasn't okay with him anymore. he had to stop them before they turned to someone else who he was close too. he didn't think he could take much more of any of his friends being harmed. it was weighing him down. 

he made it to the station, how many minutes after he had left the hospital he didn't know - it didn't matter. heart thumping wildly in his chest, he headed up the stairs into the station, seeking out Geordie immediately. "is their any news?" 

Geordie turned round, knowing straight away what Sidney meant. he shook his head. " the police department in Bristol are taking over - shielding us right out of the picture of Cora`s kidnapping. I`m trying everything I can Sidney ..." 

Sidney bit his lip before straightening slightly. "I`m going up there" he turned to go but Geordie immediately grabbed his arm , pulling him back. "Sidney.. you can`t. you need to think about this... what if it is indeed to people that have been after you from the very beginning? you aren't going to stand a chance..." 

"i don't care Geordie" Sidney replied. "I`ve let them mess me around to much - almost take people away from me. I'm not letting that happen again. I need to rescue Cora." he shrugged him off and started walking again but Geordie caught him again. " Sidney ... I`m not letting you. its too dangerous." 

Sidney rounded on him, letting his anger and frustration out. "i don't give a damn about me Geordie... you don't know what they could be doing to her... she may not even be alive... I`m going up there" 

"Sidney .. we just got you back... we aren't planning on losing you again or not seeing you again" Geordie replied. 

Sidney flinched at his choice of words but shrugged it off. " please - I need to do this" 

"no you don't. not alone Sidney." Geordie sighed." listen - if we haven't heard back from them by the end of the day then tomorrow I`ll come with you but not until then." he looked up. "please Sidney - I want you alive, I'm sure Mrs M wants you alive and your parish - they need you" 

Sidney blew out a breath, the fight gone out of him. he visably relaxed slightly and Geordie relaxed, sensing he was getting through to him. "go home Sidney - visit sam - do whatever just don't go up there without me okay?" 

Sidney nodded. "alright. I`ll wait." 

Geordie patted his back. "I`ll speak to you tonight" with that he headed off. 

Sidney smiled to himself before heading out of the police station. he had absolutely no intention of going back to the vicarage, or to the hospital. he was going to Bristol. he had made his mind up and not even Geordie was going to change that. if he wasn't going to come with him now - then he was going to make the journey to Bristol on his own. He had only one thing on his mind - that was to rescue Cora - no matter what it took ....

he was going to get her back... 

he headed straight to the train station, the adrenaline taking over his body. luck seemed to be on his side as there was a train going to London in 15 minutes- then from London he can go up to Bristol. hopefully luck will still be on his side then. he stood waiting- listening to his heart pounding in his chest. he didnt want to admit that he was nervous - nervous at what he was going to find. what if he was too late? he couldn't live with himself if he arrived too late. The thought of being too late to save her made him feel nauseous and his hands almost started to shake. he wanted to be able to rescue Cora - if she died it was all his fault. these people were after him and him alone - she was just in the way, helping him. he took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly letting the mist raise into the sky. he then realised he hadn't bothered with a coat and was starting to feel the cold but he refused to let it bother him. Rescuing Cora was his main concern. so what if he caught a cold or the flu from this? 

he found himself thinking back to the kiss they had shared in Chichester. it had felt nice. he had felt comfortable with her, like they somehow were meant for eachother. she gave him butterflies everytime she touched his hand or kissed him and it surprised him because he had never felt this way about anyone before - except Amanda. if only time could go backwards and he could savour the moment of Cora being in his arms - how he wished she was there with him as he suddenly felt strangely lonely. he missed her company, her chatter , her laugh, her - 

"what are doing here!?" he cried. 


	31. chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the trip to Bristol takes a different turning then Sidney had hoped for...

he cringed at how loud he had spoken, louder then he had intended and took his voice down several notches as he hissed, "you should be in hospital. get back in there now!" 

Sam shook his head. "aint going nowhere. I`m coming with you"

Sidney grabbed his arm. "how did you get out? you weren't meant to be discharged until next week?" 

Sam shrugged. " I discharged myself, grabbed my clothes and came out." he shrugged Sidney off. " look - I`m okay I promise. I want to help you Sidney.. and Cora" 

Sidney shook his head." if you don't go back to hospital I`ll purposely drag you back there myself" he threatened. 

Sam grinned. " no you wouldn't - you have a train due in exactly 5 minutes. if you missed that then the next train isn't for another 4 hours and you want to get to Bristol quickly" he replied. 

Sidney had no comeback for that. it was true - if he took Sam back to hospital he would miss the train and then Geordie may suspect what he was doing and try and stop him. he gritted his teeth. "fine. but if you suddenly have a relapse you`re on your own" 

"sounds fair" Sam replied.

silence lapsed over them for a couple of minutes before Sidney decided to break it again. "you planned that didn't you? turning up at just the right time so I wouldn't take you back" 

"yep"

Sidney rolled his eyes. "just like college" 

"yep" 

Sidney couldn't help but smile slightly, feeling secretly glad that he was coming with him - it seemed to make the journey somehow less daunting - like he wasn't walking right to his doom. he knew that's why they had Cora. so they could lure him there- oh, they were good at this. 

"i was right about one thing though..." Sam suddenly stated as they got on the train. 

"whats that?" 

"you were going to do something stupid- something like this" 

Sidney turned to him. "then why the hell are you coming if this is a `stupid` idea?" 

Sam shrugged. "i want to help Cora, same as you. besides we`ve done crazy things before" 

"she would tell you the same thing if she was here" Sidney pointed out. 

"yeah...? what`s that?" 

"that you should get you sorry arse back to hospital!" 

Sam frowned at him before turning back to the window, leaning his elbow on the window ledge. 

Sidney too turned back to the window, the anxiety in the pit of his stomach growing deeper and deeper as the train thundered along. he didn't know what he was going to find - he didn't think he could handle seeing Cora in such a bad way. it would kill him. every pain that was inflicted on her would kill him just a little more because its his fault. its his fault they kidnapped her- his fault she`s into this mess. he watched the clouds as they seemed to move with them, trying to ignore the anxiety but unfortunately his body wouldn't allow it as he started to jerk his leg up and down indicating his anxiety. 

"stop." Sam suddenly spoke up.

Sidney tore his eyes from the window to regard his friend. "what?" 

"your anxious. your leg is jerking up and down" Sam pointed out. Sidney sighed and brought his leg to a halt. Sam leaned forward. " it`s going to be alright. we`re going to bring her back" 

"what if they`ve already killed her?" Sidney asked, letting his frustration show. "you`ve seen what they`re capable off Sam... they wouldn`t think twice about hurting her..." or worse, he added silently.

"we need to stay possible Sidney... that girl`s a fighter. she`ll put up a good fight" 

Sidney shook his head slowly, turning his gaze upon the window again, watching the scenery fly by. what`s worse was not only was he putting himself in danger but he was putting Sam in danger too. it was one of those moments that he found himself wishing he had never left all those months ago - maybe none of this would have happened if he had just stayed. he hadn`t slept much the night before and now it was starting to catch up on him as his eyes kept drooping but he refused to give in to the fatigue. he wasn`t going to rest until Cora was safe ... that was a promise he intended to keep.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tears were running down her face as she twisted against the ropes again. her wrists were slick with blood as the rope cut into her flesh. she groaned in frustration as she pulled once more at the ropes bounding her before surrendering and slumping back in her seat. she felt terrible at ratting Sidney and sam out but if she didn't - they would have shot the girl ... and she couldn't let that happen. the room was suddenly filled with screaming and she began pulling again at the ropes. "come on.." she groaned as she wiggled her wrists, ignoring the pain that flared. she wanted to be able to do at least one thing right. she had already led Sidney and Sam to their doom - she wanted to at least be able to help someone - it was the least she could do after doing such a terrible thing. But did it make it so terrible if she saved the girl? She pulled once more at the ropes and wriggled her arm, breathing a sigh of relief when her wrist started to move. she pulled her arm free and then the other and bent down to untie the rope that was wrapped round her ankle. The screaming began again and she ran to the door, pulling on the door, crying in frustration when she realised it was locked. she turned round and leaned her back against the door and slid down, her delicate fingers pulling at her hair. As the reached the floor her fingers came across a hair pin. she pulled it out, remembering that she had had her hair up before she had been abducted. she hadn't noticed that some pins were left- after all her hair was a messy. once again, the room was filled with screaming and she pulled herself up, inserting the hair pin into the lock, praying that it would work....

after several tries she had tears once again making their way slowly down her cheeks as she took the hair pin out from the lock as she heard it snap. she threw it away from herself and took out the last hair pin in her hair. "I`m coming Melanie" she muttered, wiping away the tears as she inserted the hair pin into the lock. "come on..." she muttered as she twisted it slowly, praying for a click. After several minutes with no success her hands started to tremble and she started to slide down to the floor, still holding onto the hair pin in the lock. As she reached the floor she was rewarded with a soft click. she paused and pulled herself back up, slowly turning the hairpin to the left. she was rewarded with the door opening. she threw the hair pin away and pulled the door open slowly, checking both left and right before stepping out into a long corridor, with a turning at the end. the screaming was louder now, and she started to run down the corridor towards the turning, checking the doors as she went. she slowed down, peeking round the corridor (she didn't want to take any chances) before heading down the corridor. the screaming was so much closer now and she stopped by a door, where she knew the screaming was coming from. she tapped on the door. "melanie? its me Cora"

"how - how did you get out?" 

"that doesn't matter now. do you know where he keeps the key?" she asked softly, looking back down the corridor before turning her attention back to the door. "Melanie?" 

"on a hook - opposite the door" 

Cora spun around, glad to find the keys still hanging onto the hook and turned back round. "which one?" 

"its the one with green on the top" melanie sniffed from the inside. 

Cora nodded and inserted the green one into the lock and turned It, pausing when it gave a loud click. when no one came running she turned it again and the door swung open. Melanie immediately stumpled out - crashing into Cora`s arms. "thank you" she began sobbing into Cora`s arms and Cora wrapped her arms around the fragile child. "its going to be all right" she kissed the top of her head and then grabbed her hand. "come on - we need to get out of here" they began walking fast down the corridor, Cora leading. "how long have you been here?" 

"feels like forever" Melanie replied, her voice quivering. 

Cora squeezed her hand in comfort, not taking her eyes of the corridor in front of her."do you remember the way out?" 

Melanie sniffed. "round this corner, then there should be a door" 

"nearly there Melanie" Cora whispered comfortingly. "its going to be alright" she felt Melanie`s hand tighten in her own. 

As they turned the corner they saw the door up ahead. "come on" they began to run, pushing it open. they came to a halt as they looked around, realisng they were on a balcony. Cora ran forward grabbing the bars looking down. she could see a few people and she raised her arms. "help!-" a hand grabbed her waist and wrapped round her mouth, yanking her from where she was standing. she looked up to see Melanie in the same situation. she began screaming as she bit the person`s hand, breaking free. she ran back into the building. "get her!" the man holding her growled. 

"no!" Cora cried, pulling back. "let me go!" the men on either side of her didn't take any notice and continued to drag her back no matter how many times she dug her heels in. "get of me!" she cried. "help!" 

"quit it!" the man on her left hissed. 

she continued to struggle, pulling and kicking out but they didn't pay any attention. they took her back into a room and threw her too the floor, slamming the door shut. she got back up. "let me out of here! you cant keep me in here!" she cried hammering on the door. "please..." she said as her voice thickened from the tears. 

"well well.. if it aint Cora" a menicing voice said from behind her. 

she turned slowly round, backing against the wall. "what do you want?" she replied flatly. 

the man laughed, coming closer towards her. "my my. what a little fighter hmm? I like that.." he beckoned her forward.

she walked slowly towards to meet him, each step she took reluctantly. he began to circle her. "its such a shame you turned into a rat. what would Sidney think hmm? you`re one of us now" he grinned.

"never" she snapped. "he`ll understand. it was for Melanie" 

he laughed. "don't worry. we`ll see his reaction soon enough" 

her head snapped up. "what do you mean?" 

"oh I'm sorry. we forgot to tell you" she squeezed her hands into fists. he wasn't sorry- he was messing with her. he stopped in front of her, reaching out to touch her hair. she jerked away. "we have your place under surveillance. As soon as Sidney turns up we`ll know - and bring him here" 

"you bastard!" she cried. "you bastard!" 

he just laughed. 

before she could register what she was doing she lunged for him wrapping her hands round his throat. before she could even squeeze she found herself being pulled off and something was jammed into her neck. her vision started to swim and she felt herself falling to the ground. she hoped Melanie had made it out was her last thought before darkness took over.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"oh! inspector Keating" Mrs m exclaimed when she found him on her doorstep. she opened the door wider to allow him through. she closed the door. "is everything alright? is it Sidney?" 

Geordie turned to face her. "what do you mean?" 

"well you wouldn't have come back without him if something wasn't the matter" she replied stiffly. 

"I only came here to see if he was here" Geordie replied. 

she shook her head. "he said he was with you" 

"I haven't seen Sidney all day!" Geordie cried. he turned around. "no no no! I knew he would do something like this" 

"something like what?" Mrs M replied, clearly still not getting it. 

"He`s gone after Cora" Geordie replied. 

Mrs m sighed. "I should have realised." she looked up at him. "you need to get him back Geordie .... he`s going to get himself killed" 

Geordie nodded. I promise you - i`ll bring him back" with that he left and got back in the car. his next stop was the hospital. it Sidney had decided on going , Sam would have noticed. 

however, when he arrived he found the same story there- Sam was gone too. he cursed himself for not realising that Sidney would do something like this, especially out of guilt. He had to go after them, and when - if- he got them out of this alive he was going to kill Sidney himself.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"do you even know where you`re going?" 

Sidney had been thinking the same. it had been well over a month since he been here with Cora when she had found him and to be honest he couldn't exactly remember the route to her house from the train station. he rubbed at his forehead. I couldn't have just forgotten...." 

"it happens" 

"but it shouldn't "Sidney snapped. every minute they wasted was another minute that he wondered if they were hurting her badly or worse... he shook his head to clear the bloody images of Cora from his mind. he had to concentrate. At the end of the road he spotted a cottage, with a purple door. "yes!" he cried, subconsciously grabbing Sam`s arm. "there! I knew it was somewhere this way" Sidney tugged on his arm. "come on" 

They began to run towards the house, noticing immediately that the door had been left on jar. Sidney pushed it gently, cringing when the door creaked. what he was met with made his heart sink. The whole place was trashed. he stepped over the umbrella stand that was currently laying In front of the door and headed into the front room. the telephone was stilling laying on the floor where she had dropped it when speaking with him. he turned slowly. "there was no forced entry...." 

"she knew who she let in" Sam replied.

Sidney shook his head. "she`s not one of them Sam..." he turned around noticing a picture on the side. he picked it up, smiling softly as Cora smiled back up at him from the picture - next to her was another woman....she seemed familiar.. he thought back to what Cora had said on the phone. `what are you doing here... I thought you were at your mothers? you gave me a scare...!` he looked up a Sam, a look of horror on his face. 

"what?" Sam asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

"that red haired... "Sidney started, trying to keep his voice from shaking. he turned the picture round so Sam could see it. "was that her?" 

Sam looked at the picture then back at Sidney. "that's her" regret in his voice.

"it was her flatmate all along..." Sidney replied. "after the phone dropped cora said `what are you doing here... I thought you were at your mothers? you gave me a scare...!` it was her.. she`s part of this" 

"we need to get her" Sam said.

"you don't think I don't know that!" Sidney cried, his frustration of the situation taking over. he started chewing his lip as he searched the place, looking for anything that could have a lead of where they`ve taken her. As he picked up the fallen table,glass shards clattered to the ground. his heart plummeted down to his shoes as a lump formed in his throat as he gently picked up some broken glass that had blood on it. "Sam...?" he hated how his voice shook and he tried desperately to remove the lump from his throat. Sam headed over, taking the broken glass from his hands gently. "it might not be hers..." he stated, but his voice was flat. he had seen what they were capable of - what they did to their hostages. "she must have fallen when she struggled" 

Sidney didn't trust himself to speak. he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing deeply, trying to rid the bloody images once again from his mind. he felt Sam touch his arm. "we`re going to get her back Sidney ..." 

Sidney shrugged him off and turned away. "yeah...? and what if that isn't alive?" 

"don't lose hope Sidney ... we`ll bring her back.." Sam replied. he turned and headed to kitchen, stepping over fallen chairs as he went. Sidney watched him go before turning round and picking up a photo of her. if she died, he would never forgive himself. it was all his fault that she had been kidnapped after all. he then heard Sam cry out and then something smashed. Sidney dropped the photograph he was holding in surprise. "Sam..!?" he called out, desperately hoping that Sam had just tripped although deep down he didn't believe that. "Sam!? are you okay!?" when he still didn't get a response he quickly made his way to the kitchen, jumping over the chair. As he entered the door that led to the kitchen he stopped short as he saw Sam sprawled by the wall, blood dripping down his face from a gash on his forehead, eyes closed and hands tied in front of him. "wha-" he didn't even have time to exclaim as a hand clamped round his mouth, and a gun was pressed into the side of his head. "hello again Sidney "


	32. chapter 32

They both blinked in the sudden light as the cloth that was covering both of their eyes was ripped away. Sidney quickly surveyed the room. It was a room with nothing in except the chair he was sitting on. his neck hurt where they had jammed a needle into his neck, which obviously had some kind of drug that knocked him out. his hands were also tied behind him. he then looked to his left, where Sam was also sitting on a chair, except he had his head sort of leaning on the back of the chair with his eyes squeezed shut in pain. now Sidney could clearly see the deep gash that was still weeping blood on his head. 

Sidney craned his head round so he can talk to the guys behind them. "what do you want with us hmm? do you have Cora?" when he got no response he shouted louder. "where`s Cora!?" 

movement caught his attention from in front of him and he turned back round. someone laughed. "its nice to see you again Sidney" 

Sidney squinted in the dim light at the shadow of a man. "who are you? and what do you want with us?" 

"you`ll find out sooner or later" the man responded. "Teraz możesz zostawić" 

yet again, Sidney felt his heart slid down to his shoes when he heard the man speak polish and he gasped when something clicked inside of him and his mind suddenly exploded with a thousand memories. they all came so fast that it made him feel nauseous and his head spun. the constant questioning by anka- the contant mentioning of a boss - a train journey - an aeroplane - the guy who was supossedly their friend called callum. It was like the break he had always wanted for all the memories to come back. his head started to spin. 

"ive been waiting for a long time for this Sidney" the man`s voice boomed again. 

Sidney shook his head to clear all the memories but more still kept on coming. he was in a place where they all spoke a different language, the scenery he couldn't place- the red haired that kept torturing him for information - some parts of his stay with Melanie and her family. what she had told him. he willed his mind to stop and his hands to shake and his vision filled up with dots. he couldn't pass out - not now. he swallowed several times before saying, "it`s you" 

Sam came to full alert as he lifted his head from the back of the chair, squinting through unfocused eyes at his friend, then turning to face the shadow of a man in front of them. 

the man seemed to be grinning. "it`s time. zwolnić ich od ich wiązania" he said in a voice that sounded commanding. no sooner had they heard this that the ropes binding their wrists were removed and their men from earlier left the room, locking it behind them. Sidney immediately stood up from his chair as the man stepped out from the shadows. Sidney suddenly had another burst of flashbacks and he stumbled, grabbing onto the back of Sam`s chair for support. he was panting as he squeezed his eyes shut, eager for the memories to leave. he felt someone touch his hand. "are you okay?" Sam whispered. 

Sidney nodded, not opening his eyes. he continued to breathe heavily. 

the man laughed. "he should be fine Sam.. don't you worry about him. he`s just remembering everything we ever did with him" 

Sam turned to his friend again. "what are you seeing?" 

Sidney shook his head, still breathing heavily as the force of his flashbacks caused his head to pound and his legs to feel like jelly. 

"who are you?" Sam asked, cringing as the loudless of his voice aggrevated his head. 

the man smiled. "just call me Jorden." he moved closer to them. 

Sidney unclenched his eyes as his pushed the memories away. "where`s cora?" 

"the rat?" Jorden replied. "don't worry.. we`re taking good care of her" he grinned, his dark red hair catching the light. 

Sam started to stand, ignoring the dizziness. Sidney grasped his arm to keep him from falling. "i remember everything you did..." Sidney growled, his face pulled into a frown of anger. 

"is that so...?" 

"well not everything but most" Sidney snapped back. Jorden just laughed which made Sidney even more angier. "i want to see Cora" 

"not yet" Jorden tutted. "you should know that you can`t go demanding anything" 

Sidney decided to change tat-tic. "why are we here?"

"you`ll find out sooner enough Sidney" he responded with a smile that made Sidney feel uncomfortable. 

"why let us go?" Sam asked. 

"i have no use for you both tied to a chair."jorden responded. "We only did that so we could hold you both up." He walked towards them and pulled out a tissue. "Looks like that gash hasn't stopped bleeding yet" he handed it to sam- he just scowled at him. "No thanks. I dont need your help" 

Jorden put it away shaking his head. "Have it your way then" he turned his back on them. "You should have stayed out of this sam. You have no idea how much you messed up" 

"I know exactly what i messed up" he replied angrily. "I stopped you killing him" 

Jorden just grinned and turned his attention back to Sidney. "I never knew what loyal friends you have" he commented but then seemed to ponder what he had just said and shook his head. "Well i should put that as past tense really - especially for Cora" 

"What do you mean?" Sidney responded. "Cora would never snitch" 

"Its the reason you're both here" 

"She wouldn't!" Sidney suddenly shouting, telling himself that she wasn't a part of this. 

"Such naivity" jorden responded, tutting softly. "She told us everything you knew about what you've been remembering" 

Sidney shook his head. "You're lying!" 

"Then how else do you think you ended up here?" Jorden responded calmly. 

"Because of you!" 

Jorden tutted and shook his head. "Such naivity" he said again. "She also told us that you would come looking. Thats why we were waiting for you. Didnt realise you would be bringing this one aswell. Such a pity" 

Sidney shook his head. "I still don't believe you - Cora's loyal" 

Jorden just grinned. "Sam? Be a good lad and open that door near to you hmm? I think i should show you both something" 

"Do it yourself" he replied with as much venom in he could muster as possible. 

He shrugged. "Doesnt matter to me. I just thought you might like to do the offerings. Harry? Bring in the girl" 

The door to Sam's left was thrown open and Harry came out,grinning and leading cora out, arms pinned to her side. "Oh! Look who we have Cora?" He grabbed her face,pinching her cheeks tightly as he turned her face to face them. She cried out in frustation. 

"Let her go! She isnt part of this" Sidney cried. "You want me - well now you got me" 

Jorden didnt appear to listen as he strode towards Cora,gripping her face. "Ive just been telling them what you did" 

She attempted to bite his hand but he swiftly moved his hand away, before slapping her cheek, the noise echoing round the room. 

Sidney immediately went to move but somehow the room gained a few more people and before he could aknowledge what just happened he found himself being held by someone. He started to squirm in their hold but their fingers tightened against his arms. 

"Now i think i've been nice enough here but you and your friend just won't except my kindness" he started to shake his head as he moved closer to Sam who was also being held from behind. He started to squirm harder but the man behind him overpowered him, holding him tightly. Jorden traced the thin cut that went across his neck and Sam visably recoiled at the touch. Jorden tutted. "Looks like someone's had a few scrapes they gotten themselves in" 

Green eyes meant dark,cold ones as the man from behind forced his head up. "You should have stayed out of this the first time we warned you" 

"Sorry if i disappointed you" Sam responded sarcastically which rewarded him with a slap, hard. 

"You're just as bad as Sidney. Always giving the lip" jorden studied him for a minute longer before heading to stand in the middle. "So Miss philips- you going to tell your friends here how you betrayed them or shall i?" 

Cora shook her head, her eyes full of tears as they slipped over to look at Sidney. "I'm sorry" she whispered. 

Sidney looked away, not being able to stand seeing the tears in her eyes. He couldnt help but feel that he had led all of them to their deaths... 

"She told us exactly what you knew in a heartbeat" began jorden, his voice taking on story mode. "She wanted you both to be captured." He thought for a moment. "Well you anyway Sidney" he turned in a full circle slowly until Sam came into his view. "You... i had sources that had told me you were dying - poisoning wasn't it?" 

"Sorry to disappoint you" he responded sarcastically, scowling at him. "You must have rubbish sources" 

This time jorden jjst grinned at the sarcasm, before turning his attention back to Cora. "As i was saying - she wanted you captured. I mean afterall her flatmate works for me. Why not her too? The more the merrier i always say" 

Cora looked towards the boys, shaking her head as warm tears fell down her cheeks to leak onto Harry's hand which was currently covering her mouth. 

"I don't know why you're crying my dear ... it was your destiny to join us" jorden said calmly, pulling a tissue from his pocket and dapping at her cheeks. She pulled away violently. He laughed. "Feisty little thing aren't you?" 

He turned around again. "So you see Sidney? She betrayed you..." 

Sidney didnt respond but instead looked away, pulling at the hands that held him, unfortunately the hold on him didnt losen, in fact he was only rewarded with his arms being held tighter. 

Cora started to struggle and squirm violently to get out, being rewarded with the hand across her mouth being pressed tighter, and a harsh whisper of "stay still you little bitch" in her ear. She didnt listen but instead bit his hand hard causing him to let go as she darted away. "It wasnt my intention. They have the girl! They were going to kill he-" she was cut off as Harry grabbed her again, throwing her to the floor. "Shut up!" He shook her as she screamed. 

Sidney's head snapped up as Cora mentioned the girl and then he started to fight against the person holding him as cora was thrown to the ground. "You have melanie!?" 

Jorden just grinned. "She was at the wrong place at the wrong time such a shame really - she's a sweet kid" 

"After all this time!? It was you!" Sidney shouted. "Shes only a kid! She has nothing to do with this" 

"Oh but we had to take her."jorden responded. "She had seen to much - heard too much. She had to be taken care off" 

"Shes a child!" Sam snapped. 

Sidney glanced towards his friend and then back at jorden. "I want to see her" 

"Nope" 

"I saw her!" Cora raised her voice. "She's fine Sidney. Maybe a little scar-" once again she was overpowered and she screamed. 

Jorden shook his head."i think we need to get felicity in here" he signalled to someone behind them and before long the red haired that Sidney had kept seeing in his flashbacks was standing right in front of him. However, the look on her face he had never seen before. She seemed ... concerned. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Ahh! Felicity" jorden exclaimed."we have guests" he waved his hand clumsily in the direction of Sidney and Sam. 

"Oh my gosh! Cora!?" 

Jorden frowned. "Surely you dont care for the girl?" 

Felicity froze, realising she had to chose. She squared her shoulders. "You're right. I'm sorry" 

"Take Cora away. She's becoming a bit too mouthy for my liking" 

Felicity headed over to where Harry was detaining Cora, motioning for him to let go. As he let go and backed away, Cora began to scramble up to get away but felicity grabbed her by her hair. 

"Leave her alone!" Sidney cried desperately." Its between you and me jorden .... leave Cora and Sam out of this" 

"Then give me the list" jorden cried. 

"What's so important about this list?"Sam asked. 

"Whats important about it!" Jorden cried laughing. "You guys have your bible that you preach from right? That its like a lifeline for you people...? Well take that as an example- that list is our bible and we need it back" 

It dawned on sidney. "It has all the names of your group on that list" he turned to Sam. "If that fell into the hands of the police then the group would be busted- everyone on the list" he turned back to face jorden." It all makes sense now...." 

"Well done. Very impressive" jorden answered, a glint in his eye. "We need that back" 

"Dont give it to them Sidney!" Cora cried as she was mandhandled out of the room by felicity. Then she screamed as the door closed. 

"I dont know where it is and thats the truth" sidney replied. 

"You've been saying that for a while. Hasn't he Anka?" 

"Yep" 

Sidney visably froze as he heard her voice, tinted by her Polish accent. She came to stand next to jorden, very well dressed in a red dress complete with red heels and red nail polish. "You killed my brother" 

"I didnt" 

"So here's how its going to work..." she studied her nails, pretending she didnt hear him. "Give us the list and we'll let the girl go, the brat and him over there go. " for her next piece she stepped closer to him, locking her cold eyes to his blue eyes. "Don't and we'll kill each and every single one of them slowly" 

Sidney took a sharp intake of breath and looked around the room, hoping for a plan. For anything. "I said i don't have it" 

Anka shrugged. "Dont bother me how long you want to play that game" she motioned to the people holding Sam. "Hold him still" 

Sam immediately began to struggle against them but soon they overpowered him and kept him still, arm round his neck. Anka aproached them before pointing a gun right at Sam. 

"No!" 

"Tell me where it is!" Anka cried. 

"Im telling the truth! My memory was wiped. I cant remember!" Sidney shouted. 

Anka tutted. "Not good enough" she clicked the safety off.

"You have to believe me" Sidney cried desperately. He pulled harder at the hands holding me. "I didn't kill your brother either. He tried to kill me and Cora but the gun backfired. Please Anka. I'm telling the truth- if you don't believe me fine. But take it out on me - leave Sam out of this" he watched as Anka's eyes filled with tears. "Leave Sam out of this" he repeated. 

Her arm started to wobble. "You know - he was always good to me my brother was... and then you came along.. and ruined it" her face knotted up in anger. "Well now im repaying you" 

"Anka- stop. He's telling the truth" 

Anka whipped round so fast it was surprising she didnt get whiplash. "You" she scoffed. "How would you know? Just because Jorden's happy with what you did doesn't mean i like you" 

A man stepped out from the door, hands raised in surrender. "Put the gun away Anka" 

"Shut up Callum!" 

Sidney looked towards the man that was callum and the face he had seen several times was standing in front of him. He still couldnt remember who he was- even though Sam had said they had all been best friends. Callum had made him forget though, he remembered. But why...? 

"Callum?" Sidney said. 

The man looked up and smiled briefly before his eyes flickered to Sam. "I'm sorry" 

Sam looked away. "It was you all this time" 

Callum hung his head then turned to Anka. "I made him forget. It was just meant to be me but it wiped more then what i wanted. He can't remember who has the list or what he did with it" 

"He's right. He doesn't have it. But i do"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teraz możesz zostawić - you can leave now  
> zwolnić ich od ich wiązania - release them from their binding`s


	33. chapter 33

"Felicity? What are you talking about?" 

Felicity stepped out. "It means what it means." She snapped. "I have the list" 

"Well that's good then" Jorden commented, hand outstretched. "Hand it over then" 

Felicity laughed. "Are you as stupid as you look? I don't want to give it to you. - and be stuck in the life again for another how many years? No thank you" she scoffed as she moved closer. "I wanted out of this life along ago but i couldn't without signing a death wish. So when i saw Sidney steal the list i thought yes - this is it" she laughed. "But then you guys had to get involved and mess it all up." She turned to Sidney. "I'm sorry for what i did to you. I had to make it look like i wasn't a rat" 

Sidney didn't say anything - he was too stunned at how this had all gone. He side glanced towards Sam who was watching what was happening just like he was but his hands were shaking horribly. He turned his attention back to felicity when she began talking again. "I hate this life! All i wanted was too get out! But you wouldn't let me. So i took matters into my own hands. When i saw what you all did to Sidney and left him for dead after what you guys did in Poland i took the list from his diary then did what he had asked - to put it back into the safe box in the bank in London- then left him so Cora could find him" 

"Wait ... it was you?" Sidney responded. 

Felicity nodded. "That was what this whole plan was - you were helping me. But then the others got a hold of you and tortured you. I had to go through with it to make it not look suspicious. Then Sam came along to rescue you....i didnt know he was helping - didnt know we were on the same side. That's why when you left his place i took that necklace from him" 

"It was you that ransacked the place?" Sam asked. 

She nodded. "It was all planned sidney - it was your plan mostly. Get the list take it to the police and i'll go free." She turned to Jorden. "But you ruined it! And you!" She pointed at callum. 

Callum shook his head. "I said i was sorry" 

"He messed it up Sidney. He knew what you were doing - what you both were doing and snitched to the boss. He then had your memory wiped. He had been watching your every move" 

"You were a friend from school?" Sidney asked. 

Callum nodded. "We were" he said softly. "But at the time i was scared you were going to ruin everything i had created." He took a deep breath. "I erased your memory of me because i didn't want you to remember the betrayal. I didn't want you to think of me like that. All three of us were great friends in college - i couldn't ruin it" 

"What about me though?" Sam butted. "You ruined ours" 

"I'm sorry" 

Sam just looked away. 

"So you see Jorden." Felicity sneered. "This was all planned from the very beginning and nothing will stop me from sending you to hell!" 

"You mentioned Poland?" Sidney suddenly said. "I was there?" 

She nodded. "They took you there. I have to say - i lost track of you for a while." 

" that would explain the talking you did to Anka in Polish" Sam whispered. 

Sidney nodded. 

"Enough!" Anka screeched. "You betrayer! You were my best friend! Was that all a lie!?" 

Felicity squared her shoulders. "I hated this life but what i felt for you as a friend was real" 

"You're a rat" she sneered, lunging forward for her. 

"Shut up all of you!" Jorden yelled. He rubbed his forehead." Well - this is alot to take in felicity" 

Anka stepped towards her boss. "I say we kill them all" 

Jorden held up his hand. "Silence" he began pacing the room. 

While Sidney watched him pace, his mind began to whirl. Everything was making so much sense. The place he had been seeing in his dreams that he didn't recognise must be when they took him to Poland. Thats why no one could find him back in Grantchester during some of the months he was missing - he was in an entirely different country. "The song i keep hearing ... what was that?" 

Felicity frowned. "What song?" 

"I kept hearing a song every so often ... " he started to hum the tune a litttle. 

Felicity smiled. "While we were together, meeting up while you stayed at Melanie's i used to play that tune on my violin" 

Sidney nodded and turned to Jorden. "Where is Melanie?" 

He laughed. "You think ill tell you?" 

" no i suppose not..." he muttered. 

"That's another thing i hated about you!" Felicity spat, grabbing the gun from the floor that Anka had dropped, pointing it right at him. "You kidnapped the girl - because she knew what Sidney was planning. She overheard him and Anka's conversations! She's a child!" 

Jorden started to smile evilly. "I like it when you're angry" 

"Shut up!" She yelled. "Now release Sidney and his friend. " 

"Or else" Cora said, coming into view also, gun raised. 

Sidney had to stop his mouth from falling open when he saw her. 

Jorden's smile turned to his face twisting into anger, his eyes dark pools of fire. "Callum? Shoot these where they stand" 

Callum stepped round Jorden, gun in hand. He raised his gun, hand shaking pointing right at Sidney. Sidney froze. 

"Well what are you waiting for!?" Jorden yelled. "Shoot him! He ruined your plans!" 

He switched it from Sidney to Sam and back again. 

"Shoot and i'll put a hole in your head" felicity threatened. "This is my battle - and I`m determined to get everyone out alive - except you Jorden and your minions" 

"This is rediculous!" Anka cried. "You won't shoot - you're chicken" she sneered. 

"Try me" felicity sneered back, clicking the safety off. 

"Go on then" Anka raised her hands. "But be warned - callum will shoot you where you stand" 

"Callum - it doesn`t have to be like this" sam said. "You can still come back to us- pretend none of this happened. Just put the gun down" the man behind him slapped a hand across his mouth. 

"Let him talk" callum growled, blinking rapidly. " and let them both go" 

Jorden nodded as they turned to face him and the men let go backing away. Sam stepped closer to callum, causing the gun to be repointed at him. "Callum - don't let this ruin the life you once had. Think of Kayla, callum... would you're little sister want this of her older brother?" 

"Dont use her against me" Callum cried. 

"You can get out of this callum - all you have to do is out the gun down - now" Sam said, inching closer. 

Sidney too inched closer. " you felt guilty about what you had done ...that's why you wiped my memory." He stated matter of factly. " you're not cold hearted Callum. I may not remember you but your stance doesn't scream cold hearted killer... trust me - i've seen those kind of people and your not one of them" 

Callum's hand shook. 

"What are you waiting for!? Shoot them!" Jorden cried. 

"Shoot and i`ll hurt you" felicity growled. 

"Dont" Sidney reasoned with her before turning back to Callum. "Please callum - maybe we can get to know eachother again hmm? You can tell me everything we did together at school?" 

Callum started to breathe heavily. "He'll kill me" 

Sam shook his head. "No he wont" 

"I'm sorry for betraying you both. I'm sorry" tears began to slip down his eyes as his hand started to fall. "I'm sorry" 

"We forgive you" Sam replied. "Put down the gun" 

Callum's arm fell to his side. 

"What are you waiting for!? Shoot him!" Jorden cried. 

"No!" Callum shouted. He turned round. " i want nothing to do with this anymore!" 

"You rat!" Anka responded. "I knew you were weak" she sneered before marching towards him. "Give me the gun!" 

"No!" 

"Give me!" She made a grab and pulled on it. "Give me!" 

"No!" 

The gun went off in the middle of them both and callum squeezed his eyes shut expecting to feel the pain. When he felt none he opened his eyes as he felt Anka fall into him, blood falling through her fingers fast from a gunshot wound to close to her heart for comfort. Callum raised his hand to his mouth in shock, dropping the gun as if it had burnt him. Sam grasped his shoulder and pulled him back away from Anka as she fell to the floor. "You .... bastard" she croaked before she took her last gasping breath and she stilled. 

Then all hell broke lose. 

"How dare you!" Jorden cried, advancing on Callum. Sidney and Sam both pushed him behind them. "This ends now!" Sidney cried as felicity fired hers catching jorden in the side, the bullet going straight through. He clutched at his left side and fell to the floor, howling in pain, his knees growing weak. Sidney and sam grabbed Callum's arms and pulled him to the other side where Cora and felicity were standing. felicity turned to the others in the room. "Anyone else?" 

They shook their heads and ran off, all except Harry. He sneered. "You were in love with me once. You wouldn`t pull the trigger" 

"Try me" she growled. 

"Go on then" he braced himself. "I`m facing a hanging sentence anyways so..." as swiftly as he could he picked up Jorden's fallen gun. "Dance" 

Felicity rolled her eyes. "I will do it" 

"I know that's why it will be a duel" he responded. 

"No!" Cora shouted. "I dont want you to die" she said softly. 

Felicity took her eyes off Harry for a second to look at her friend, however it was a second too long as he pulled the trigger, catching her straight in the chest. She didn't stand a chance. "No!" Cora cried, falling to her knees next to her friend. "You bastard! You bastard!" She cried. 

Harry just smiled. "She was a rat" then he lifted his gun to his head and pulled the trigger, the sound echoing along with Sidney's cry. "No!"

Callum rubbed his face with his hands. "This is all my fault" 

Sam knelt down next to Cora while Sidney pulled callum aside, but still keeping an eye of Cora as she threw her arms round Sam, burying her face into his neck. "I didn't get to say goodbye" she cried as he smoothed her back. 

"I'm sorry i did what i did" callum said. "I`m sorry" 

"I`m sorry i can`t remember you" sidney responded. 

"That's my fault though" Callum replied in shame. "I hate myself" 

"Hey. I may not remember you but i can sense why we were friends" he smiled as he put a hand on his shoulder. "We can start over" 

Callum smiled. "I like that" he wiped his eyes. "You should go - cora needs you" 

Sidney looked towards cora and nodded walking over and kneeling next to her. "I`m sorry" he said gently. 

She unwrapped her arms from Sam and wrapped them round Sidney. "She's gone." 

"I know" Sidney responded. "I know" 

She looked up, crashing her lips to his, the taste of her salty tears on his but he couldnt care. He was free. 

"You could have waited until i had gone.." Sam muttered as he stood up. "That's something i did not need to see" 

Sidney slapped him hard on the arm from behind Cora's back, never stopping the kiss. 

"Ow" Sam responded and rubbed his arm as he stood up. Callum approached him. "Hi" 

"Hey" 

"Im so sorry" callum started. "I didnt know what i was thinking" tears gleamed in his eyes as Sam hugged him. "It's going to be fine" 

"You ruined ....everything!" Jorden suddenly heaved, causing them to turn just as he clicked the safety off the gun he was holding and fired towards them both - firing towards Sam. Before Sidney could react, callum pulled him with all his might quickly behind him, pushing him towards Sidney who had stood up just as Callum took the bullet right into his chest, too close to the heart for comfort. He fell backwards from the impact of the bullet to the floor, blood immediately covering the floor. 

Sam suddenly felt dizzy and squeezed his eyes shut. No- he was seeing things. Callum hadn`t been shot but he knew he had. He pushed himself away from Sidney whom he had stumbled into after callum had pushed him. "No..." was he managed as he fell down next to Callum. "You're gonna be fine..." 

The door to the left burst open and about 10 officers came flooding through, Geordie one of them. Once he spotted them he sighed in relief as he aporoached them, signalling for an ambulance as well as he saw the blood seeping still from a wound on Sam`s head. "If you decide to plan another stunt like that again i`m calling an early retirement." He then noticed that callum was alive still. "Oh shit" he knelt down next to them both aswell. "Press down on the wound" he instructed Sam. Sam nodded, pressing down with his jacket. Callum reached up and grasped his arm. "Its...too ...late" he rasped, his mouth covered in blood. 

"The bullet went straight through his lung" geordie commented as he looked around then he looked at Sidney. "What happened here?" 

Sidney shook his head, still too shocked to speak. 

Geordie understood. He refocused his attention to callum who was whithering in pain. "Hold on - ambulance is coming" 

Callum shook his head. "Not .... going ...to...make ...it" 

"You will. You will" Sam replied stubbornly. "We still all need to get raquianted" he smiled softly. 

Callum knew he was slipping so he did the only thing he had the strength too - he placed a bloody hand over Sam's and then reached for Sidney's. "I'm ..... sorry..." he squeezed their hands tightly but not as tightly as it should been as he shuddered and became still. 

"Ambulance is here" someone from behind announced. 

"You're too late" Sam replied flatly. "He's gone" 

Sidney couldn`t help but feel a lump form in his throat. In the space of half an hour 5 people had been killed. He then remembered melanie. "Melanie's here too" 

Geordie raised his eyebrows. "The girl?" 

Sidney nodded, not taking his eyes of Callum. 

"We have a girl to find in this building hurry!" Geordie yelled but remained where he was. Some people had arrived to take the bodies and were in the process of moving Anka. "She got what was coming for her then" he then noticed the red haired. " and her" 

Sidney shook his head. "She was on our side" 

"How?" 

"Ill explain later" he watched as Phil placed a blanket round Cora's shoulders as she nodded her thanks. Her eyes dull. She kept staring at felicity as if by staring she could bring her back. 

"Time to move him now" Geordie said. 

Sidney nodded, but Sam was in some sort of trance. He touched his shoulder. "You need to let go now" 

Sam shook his head. "I never believed him" 

"Its not your fault ... now- let go" Sidney said gently but firmly. 

Sam did the total opposite - held on tighter. " you were too late!" He suddenly yelled, his green eyes pools of anger but also guilt. "If you guys had arrived earlier then he may have survived!" His eyes were blurring off. "We were going to start over - sidney was going to get to know him again - its not fair!" He shouted, not caring who heard. " he didn`t deserve this...." he couldn`t see anymore. 

"Let go..." Sidney said gently, gently removing Sam`s hand from Callum's. Sam collasped into tears then as Sidney hugged him tightly. His head suddenly exploded with a memory, and they kept on coming - at college, the laughs and pranks they did but this time Callum was there. He was there, laughing and joking with them. Then when he had gotten together with a girl - and they teased him for ages. The trips up to London, everything came swarming back. The wedding, how happy he was. All of it gone. Even the recent meeting he had had with Callum 6 months ago. He had mentioned that he was having a baby girl. Now that baby girl was never going to know her father. He felt tears sting his eyes. He can finally remember him! But it was too late. Callum was gone and he couldnt tell him that he remembered. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall aswell. It hurt like hell. He had remembered.   
~~~~~~~~~~  
"so you and felicity had been working together all this time?" Geordie asked. They were all seated quietly at the vicarage after returning from the events that had taken place in Bristol. Sidney had spoken for a long while, retelling It all to Geordie. Cora had fallen asleep next to Sidney on the sofa,the same with Sam (who was still recovering from the head wound he was still recovering from) who was next to Cora fast asleep, the emotional exhaustion having taken over them both. At least they had both changed out of their clothes that were covered in specks of blood and into fresh ones before falling asleep. Sidney nodded. "that`s what felicity had said. I`m remembering a little more I guess" 

"wow... but what I don't get is why kidnap Cora is she was on your side?" 

"she needed to make it look she wasn't a rat - otherwise they were going to kill her" Sidney responded, rethinking over the day`s events. he opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, looking away. 

"what? what is it?" Geordie asked, sensing Sidney was going to say something. 

I remember" Sidney stated. I remembered Callum - after he.." Geordie nodded, knowing what he meant. Sidney continued. "it was like pulling a finger out of a dam... everything came flooding back- well almost - not everything. I can see Callum so clearly now, everything we had spoken about, most the pranks we did in school. not all but enough to know he was a great friend" Sidney sighed deeply. "and I'm going to miss him" he leaned back. "he was expecting a baby girl... he told me six months ago. the girl will never know her father.." 

"Geordie had no words for him. He touched his shoulder instead, squeezing it gently before asking, "how`s he taking it?" indicating towards a sleeping Sam. 

"he should be in hospital " Sidney replied then shrugged. "he hasn`t spoken much since we left Bristol. he should he okay though" 

Geordie understood. "at least it`s over" 

Sidney nodded just as there was a knock at the door. he quickly jumped up when it resumed, making sure it didn't disturb either Sam or Cora. he was met by a rather grim archdeacon. "I`ve heard all about your adventures.." Sidney didn't say anything, knew it wouldn't make a difference. "no one is after you" still Sidney didn't say anything. finally the archdeacon sighed. "you don't to go up to Scotland" 

"what?" Sidney replied, his expression in surprise. 

"you heard me" with that he headed off back into the night. Sidney closed the door and leaned against in, breathing in deeply. yes. it was definitely over. Mrs Maguire headed dwon the stairs. "so you staying?" 

he nodded ."somehow I have reason to believe you were part of that" 

"i don't know what you`re talking about Mr Chambers" she replied stiffly, but he could hear the smile in her voice as she headed to the front room. 

he smiled and followed on behind her back to the front room where Cora and Sam began stirring. 

"so its over?" Geordie asked.

Sidney smiled, beaming. "it`s over. and I'm not moving to Scotland" 

Cora stood up and brought him into a hug. "i love you" she whispered in his ear. 

"i love you too" Sidney responded quickly, as she pressed her lips to hers. Yes. everything was finally going right, and this time he was never going to leave unexpectedly again. he had too much to risk right here. 

THE END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that's it folks! I`m sorry it was so long. had to gather my ideas for the ending. I hope you all enjoyed the ride! I`ll be doing an epilogue in the next few weeks for this story :)


	34. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long! Had serious writers block. I finally managed to get the ideas for this while in a loooooong car drive from london to yorkshire.  
> Hope you enjoy!

TWO MONTHS LATER..... 

A hand gently ruffled at his hair, the scent of Jasmine hitting his senses. He smiles to himself and turned his head to the left as Cora sat beside him on the grass outside the back of the vicarage. The spring weather was being exceptionally nice as the warm breeze fluttered around them, the sun warm on their faces. 

"You okay?" Cora asked. 

Sidney nodded, blinking in the sunshine. "Just thinking" 

She smiled knowingly, carassing his hand and rubbing her slenders fingers over the slight scarring on his wrist. "Two months ago to the date that it all ended" 

Sidney nodded again as he focused on the bit of grass he was fiddling with in his hands. "Still dont quite believe the nightmares all over" 

"But it is" she replied. 

"I know, i know that" he sighed before throwing the piece of grass away from him and brushed his hand through his dark hair. 

Cora knew it was still going hard on him, Mrs M had told her that she could hear him having nightmares and that he'd wake - thinking he was back where they were torturing them - when all of them were killed. She had nightmares about that night too- felicity - laying on the floor in a puddle of her own blood , the smile still on her lips. She shivered in the warm sun and turned back to Sidney, threading her fingers through his. "I know it's effecting you..."

Sidney looked at the ground. "I'm fine"

"Mrs M says different... so does Leonard" she pointed out.

Sidney didnt reply to that. He knew what they were talkig about - his constant nightmares that prevented him from sleeping. He has to keep reminding himself that it was all over. They were all in prison facing a hanging sentence. Why was it still haunting him? 

"I get them too" Cora suddenly spoke softly. "Mainly when felicity was..." she trailed off, not being able to bring herself to say killed. 

Sidney reached over and hugged her, pulling her close. "Im sorry" 

She shook her head. "It wasnt your fault" 

"I started this mess" he replied firmly. 

"No." Cora said stubbornly. "They did - not you" 

Sidney knew he could find himself arguing with her about that all day so he dropped the subject. 

"I suppose one good thing came out of it" 

"What?" Sidney replied. 

"I would never have met you" she replied softly, brushing her own hand through hair. 

A smile crossed his lips. "I guess so" 

"Hey! Its been a pleasure for you to know me" she mocked anger. "Who wouldn't? Im adorable" 

Sidney laughed. "Thats what you think" 

She scowled at him playfully before standing up, holding out her hand. "Come on - lets go for a walk before i head back up to bristol" 

"I hate it everytime you have to go..." sidney commented as he let him self be pulled up to his feet. She grabbed his hand and together they began to walk slowly up the road, cora's dress blowing out in the cool wind. 

"I know i say it everytime but its beautiful here" she commented, beginning to swing their hands between them. 

"And everytime you say that i just nod and agree" 

She laughed, his laughter slowly joining in with hers but only for a second before she noticed the smile slide from his face. She squeezed his hand. "Everythings okay" 

"I know -i know. Its just - i still dont remember everything that happened to me and ..." he paused. "I dont know- it bugs me" 

"But at least you remember most" she replied. "Its better then none" 

"I know that" he sighed. "I just wished i remember what melanie had spoken to me about. " 

"You cant remember?" 

He shook his head. "She comes round quite alot - extremely thankful. But then like last time - she says that the situation she mentioned to me has improved." He pauses before continuing. "I haven't got the heart to tell her i don't remember - she just seems to happy - so relieved that whatever it was - its been sorted." 

"Well thats good then isnt it? Even if you cant remember what she said - at one point you had listened to her concerns and helped her" Cora pointed out, sliding her arm through his. "And for that reason she's no longer sad, fighting wars within herself"

Sidney couldnt help but smile. " you're right." He thought for a moment as they continued to walk before adding, "yesterday when she came and visited, she was wearing short sleeves for the first time in a while. She had finally stopped harming herself"

"Thats so good!" Cora exclaimed.

"She doesn't. promise that it all finally over - she'll still have bad days , i understand that but - im just so glad she's made it this far"

Cora rubbed his arm encouragingly.

Silence fell over them as they continued to walk, not really knowing where they were heading, just letting their legs take them wherever. Sidney felt a weight loosen from his shoulders. What had happened - was in the past. It was over. No matter what his nightmares told him. It was over. Talking with Cora always seemed to make things less .... miserable. Thats one of the things he loved about her. She could make the most hard, miserable day seem to have silver lining.

"What about Sam?" Cora asked, wobbling slightly as her heels caught on a dip in the ground. She hung on tighter to his arm as she caught her balance. "Still trying to get used to this damn shoes"

Sidney laughed. "Why on earth did you get them if you knew you couldn't walk in them?"

"Hey! I can too!" She replied. "I just - need to get used to them thats all." She stumbled again and would have fallen if her arm hadn't been connected to Sidney's. "Okay - maybe i might need a bit more practice...."

Sidney was nearly bent double with laughter.

She scowled at him but couldn't stop a giggle that escaped her lips. "Now coming away from my horrible choice in shoes - hows Sam doing? You know with callum?"

Sidney shrugged. "Think he's taking it harder then i am. Most of what i remembered shortly after callum was killed has either faded or gone fuzzy. I can't really remember our friends much - a bit yeah and it hurts for me but ... Sam's memory of him wasnt wiped so he has memory of him properly. So thats like 8 years or 9 of knowing him."

"That long?"

"Well i'm guessing" Sidney admitted. "I cant remember what year we met but im just guessing its round the same amount of time as i've known Sam - and i've known him a long time. So yeah- he's taking it hard."

Cora nodded knowingly, knowing how it felt with her own experience of losing felicity. "They're still with us in here" she placed her hand over her heart. "My mum used to always say that people who have left us have only left us in human form- they're still with us in spirit and guide us everyday, never really leaving our sides"

"Your mother has some good sayings..."

"She does" Cora replied, stroking the back of his hand. "Shall we head back? I have goodbyes to say before heading back to bristol"

Sidney nodded as they headed back to the vicarage. "I hate saying goodbye"

"Then dont say goodbye ..." Cora replied softly. "Say goodnight..."

"You and your sayings..."Sidneys laughed.

"I get it from my mother" she replied as Sidney pulled the gate open, allowing her through before following her up the path to the door, which was being held open but a very stern lookig housekeeper.

"What did you do now?" Cora whispered, giggling softly.

"I honestly don't know" Sidney replied.

Cora continued to giggle, stifling it behind her hand as they approached.

"Do you know what day it is tomorrow?" Mrs M began as they got to the door.

"Sunday"

"Well im glad that didnt escape your head just like finishing that sermon has" she retorted.

"I'm doing it tonight. I promise" he replied.

"It had better be" she replied before stalking off.

"Goodbye! Thank you for having me!" Cora exclaimed.

She appeared again at the door. "Its a pleasure. At least someone acknowledges what i do around here" before bustling off again.

"Ouch. That told you" Cora replied, unable to hold her laughter.

"Suppose it did" Sidney muttered, as they stepped through the door. "Whens your train?"

"An hour. - let me grab my things..." she kissed his cheek before heading upstairs. He watched her go never noticing someone had come up behind him until they cleared their throat. Sidney turned around. "Oh Geordie...err"

"Im noy saying nothing.." as he stepped in. "Listen- there's been a murder. Could really use your help Sidney"

"Now?"

Geordie nodded.

Sidney turned back to the stairs just as Cora descended them, reaching them, bags in hand.

"Ohhh i see..." Geordie exclaimed.

Sidney didn't say nothing.

"Go Sidney." Cora said, surprising them both.

"But your train-"

"Will still come whether you're there or not" Cora replied, gently. "You're still getting back into the swing of things. I know where the station is."

"Yeah but still-"

"It doesnt matter. I'll see you again soon" she commented, grasping his hand. "Go bring crime to its knees" she squeezed his hand.

"Should i wait outside..." Geordie muttered, suddenly feeling like he was imposing.

Sidney squeezed her hands. "Thank you"

She pressed her lips to his gently before pulling away slightly. "Goodnight"

Sidney laughed. "Goodnight"

She smiled and patted his cheek before picking up her bag. "I'll call you tonight"

He nodded as he watched her go.

"Why goodnight? Why not goodbye?" Geordie asked.

"Goodbye makes it seem like forever" Sidney replied, his eyes still fixed on Cora's retreating figure. He dragged his attention from Cora to Geordie. "So what do we have?"

"A murder. Come on" he indicated towards the door before stepping out,muttering something under his breath but Sidney's attention was elsewhere and wasn't paying attention.

Sidney watched him go before stepping out and closing the door. Everything was now normal - just like it used to be and it felt great. No more being under a dark cloud. Sidney took a deep breath and followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thats it! Thank you so much for sticking with this story! And thank you for all the kudos and comments:)


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